Do you ever wonder why you're such a lying, cheating bastard...

[full_throttle]

On the flip side, if the escapes are not managed properly, it can turn into an addiction that drains your soul. If you want to stop and its harming your life but feel so overpowered that you can't stop, its a problem that drains your energy, money, and possibly relationships. I've seen addictions in many people through my career, and I've experienced addiction myself (escorts). I've seen the good & bad.

Point being is that its up to you to manage your energies. To get over my addiction years ago when I was younger, I started meditating. Meditation calmed and controlled me so I wasn't seeing escorts purely out of stress-based escapes. Now that I'm older and can control my energies better, I see escorts as a fun escape. No guilt, no bad feelings, and I don't do it as frequently because I've "controlled" my thoughts and feelings better.

Take my story for what it is. It may help explain your situation, or could be way off base with your escorting patterns. It all depends on you and your life.

 

[dirkd101]

I won't argue with you rld, or others on the subject. The facts speak for themselves, without quoting experts or some unknown source, we humans, forget about the rest of the animal kingdom, have an irresistible urge to fuck. Alot have affairs, men and women both. Others use the services of escorts, keeping emotional attachment out of it. A no strings attached affair, where we keep our emotional attachments in our own world.
Most of us have a wife and 2.4 kids, are homeowners, belong to civic clubs, coach and volunteer in other ways. Most here are probably very stable individuals who don't fall into the liars and cheats category. We are not leecherous slobs wearing an overcoat and flashing women or beating off in porno houses. We like are stable little worlds but, what makes us go out and want to have a little foreign pussy, something outside of our nice little worlds we have carved out.
Are we unfullfilled in the bedroom? Or are there other forces present that make us want to stick it elsewhere?

 

[Petzel]

Fair enough, but where the hell do you find good interesting magazines in doctors offices/ Most of what I find is ancient and for the women folk.

My shrink has them in his office. And before you critisize(sp?) me for needing a shrink i'm dealing with grief over the loss of my late wife.

 

[blackrock13]

My shrink has them in his office. And before you critisize(sp?) me for needing a shrink i'm dealing with grief over the loss of my late wife.

No criticism ever from this corner for most seeing a shrink.

 

[Blue-Spheroid]

So what's with us? Are we just wired to be horn-dogs? Are we missing something in our lives?

In truth, I think that people come to this hobby for different reasons and get different benefits from it.

We've seen on another thread that some people are trying to fill a void in their lives and maybe even feel worse after partaking because they have not really achieved a permanent life change. The members who look wistfully at "real couples" after seeing an SP must feel their lives are missing something important.

Others simply enjoy variety and no-strings interaction. There's something remarkably honest about the business transactions in this hobby. We want to have an intimate sexual experience with a hot woman of our choosing and we don't have to pay any games, pretend we want to date her, meet her parents, or care about her orgasm to achieve what we want. Simple and uncomplicated.

As for married hobbyists, this has been discussed to death on this board. There are always some who are ready to jump in and accuse married hobbyists of all kinds of evil deeds. In truth, each relationship is different and we cannot judge the actions of others without knowing everything that goes on in their lives. While I have always chosen to hobby only when unattached, I don't sit in judgement of those who choose otherwise unless they are irresponsibly exposing others to disease or danger by their actions.

 

[Brill]

I have no interest in quitting this hobby, but the only time I think about it is when I think about what it would do to the Missus if she found out. I don't think she would dump me, but she would be "crushed". I "stop" hobbying once in a while to prove I can do it, and as soon as I am satisfied that I can, I go back to it!

I don't imagine I'm alone in this...

So what's with us? Are we just wired to be horn-dogs? Are we missing something in our lives?

Since you can quit, I don't think it's hard wired for you. It's something you find pleasurable and isn't a compulsion.
If you felt your wife would dump you or if it interfered with your successful life, I bet you'd quit.

Now that women are less dependent on men, earning good money and are learning to explore their sexuality, I suspect the number of them turning to escorts will climb.

 

[Roger Melon]

Whether or not one hobbies when in a committed relationship is a matter of personal ethics and choice. What I'm speaking to is the urge to screw lots of women, which I believe is more or less universal in men.

My main point is that men and women are very different in their sexual needs, and I think it's obvious that there is an evolutionary/biological basis for this. Women are wired to look for the best provider/protector for their offspring, which explains why a lot of ugly rich guys do quite well with the ladies. Men are wired to mate as much as possible and to find the most fertile womb for their sperm. This is why many men would happily choose a poor woman with a hot body to a rich ugly lady. This also explains why there is almost no sex industry for women seeking men. It's not in keeping with their biological drives. The closest thing to this for women are the "Sugar Daddy" websites.

Young girls tend to look for ideal males, as demonstrated by their obsession with teen idols and movie stars. Would you ever see young boys reading celebrity magazines and screaming at their favorite rock stars concert? No, they are on-line looking for the nicest tit and ass images.

 

[Blue-Spheroid]

Why masturbation is an excellent evolutionary strategy:

What a pant-load! Do you even believe half of what you spew out here?

Yes, many people don't cheat. In many of those cases, though, it's lack of opportunity, not lack of desire.

You kill me! Have you not considered that a great number of people don't cheat because they have minds which can overcome their primitive instincts?

While some relationships are different from the norm, most long term sexual partnerships in our society are based on the assumption that both partners have committed to an exclusive bond. While cheating on your spouse may fulfil an immediate urge, it can often be the case that the long-term consequences of cheating are not in the interest of the individual. The fear of getting caught could expose you to blackmail or other vulnerabilities - loss of control of one's life. Getting caught could end your marriage (and at great cost). Getting caught could also cause pain to your spouse (which, if you actually love her - as some do - is a bad outcome) and your children.

Saying that men are genetically programmed to like sex is like saying we're programmed to like sugary or fatty foods. Sure, on a basic instinctual level, there was a survival advantage to grabbing the high energy foods when they were available (because they do not occur in plenitude in nature). However, in our modern society, where you could bathe in chocolate sauce or eat KFC Double Downs three times a day, there's also something to be said for using your rational mind to belay your instinct's drive to be a glutton.

The ability to overcome our base instincts is also a Darwinian survival advantage. So, perhaps the men who successfully fight the urge to plug anything with a hole are demonstrating an advanced evolutionary quality that others lack.

Fuji will reject this premise (despite the fact that its based on years of genetic research) because it might tend to expose him as a less refined being.

 

[sleazure]

Who me? I'm single. It's nobody's business but mine.

 

[blackrock13]

What a pant-load! Do you even believe half of what you spew out here?You kill me! Have you not considered that a great number of people don't cheat because they have minds which can overcome their primitive instincts?

While some relationships are different from the norm, most long term sexual partnerships in our society are based on the assumption that both partners have committed to an exclusive bond. While cheating on your spouse may fulfil an immediate urge, it can often be the case that the long-term consequences of cheating are not in the interest of the individual. The fear of getting caught could expose you to blackmail or other vulnerabilities - loss of control of one's life. Getting caught could end your marriage (and at great cost). Getting caught could also cause pain to your spouse (which, if you actually love her - as some do - is a bad outcome) and your children.

Saying that men are genetically programmed to like sex is like saying we're programmed to like sugary or fatty foods. Sure, on a basic instinctual level, there was a survival advantage to grabbing the high energy foods when they were available (because they do not occur in plenitude in nature). However, in our modern society, where you could bathe in chocolate sauce or eat KFC Double Downs three times a day, there's also something to be said for using your rational mind to belay your instinct's drive to be a glutton.

The ability to overcome our base instincts is also a Darwinian survival advantage. So, perhaps the men who successfully fight the urge to plug anything with a hole are demonstrating an advanced evolutionary quality that others lack.

Fuji will reject this premise (despite the fact that its based on years of genetic research) because it might tend to expose him as a less refined being.

Of course he believes it and defends it to the death. That's why it so comical or tragic. As for him having a pant load, that may be part of the probably. Before, his position was to have sex. Now it's switched to like sex. He can't even keep his arguments straight and just moves the goal post; a time tested FUJI tactics.

 

[Libra]

Sexual activity is a higher order behavior. It involves some sophisticated mechanics--what goes in where. From an evolutionary perspective, what traits would make sexual behavior more likely?

Nope, I do not concur. Sexual activity is quite a low order behaviour. A 'high order' behaviour is one in which you need at least mammalian brain but more often a cerebral cortex. As we know there are many living things that fuck, including such things as Birds, Bees, Dung Beatles, Frogs, even arguably Bacteria. None of which have any capabilities of 'higher order' behaviour (self realization, induction etc.).

But, our mammalian and cerebral cortex does throw many things into how we go about our sexual activity such as social dynamic behaviours relating to fucking.

There are also many animals that 'try' to be monogamous, and some are in their species, but some aren't. That's the way it is.

 

[Stoo]

Isn`t being a selfish asshole reason enough?

Works for me...

 

[Petzel]

Men are wired to mate as much as possible and to find the most fertile womb for their sperm.

My point exactly. However.........

 

[Stoo]

Since you can quit, I don't think it's hard wired for you.

"Quit" being a subjective term. I suppose "refrained" for a month or two might be more accurate. Of course I thought about it (hobbying) constantly while I was "refraining"...

 

[alb]

So I shouldn't tell you we had a 8 year "thing" with another woman? OK, so maybe it's better than "normal".

Sh*t, now I feel guilty again. (The other woman shacked up with a guy, and she got all pure on us... which led to the SP visit.)

WOW! You have your wife join you in a threesome with a women for 8 years then with an SP? I would not classify you sex life as normal you lucky bastard!!

My wife has a low, low sex drive I am lucky if we have sex 2 time a month and even then it may not be that much. Our sex life was pretty consistent before kids but I still ventured out on the MP scene. Its only been in the last couple of years that I have been seeing SP's as well.

I have less frequent redezvous's now that I am 2 years doing this partly because of cash flow however I tell you if I didn't see SP's I would no doubt have had an affair with a civilian and that totally would have blown up forsure as emotions would have gotten in the mix if it grew beyond just sex as with most relationships over time. I believe SP's offer an invaluable service in this regard as there are no emotions involved and more importantly no one gets hurt.

There is only so much masterbating a married man can do as something instinctively has got to give at one point.

 

[blackrock13]

My point exactly. However.........

Most men are wired to mate with a 'suitable' mates, not screw anything with a pussy. That's why civilizations have laid down 'guidelines' for doing it.

That why most informed societies frown on screwing close cousins and siblings, as they know the potential results.

That also why something as simple as big breasts, big buts and large women are very favourable in some societies. They are signs of good nutrition, good heath and wealth. In some thriving societies, like Polynesian societies, it really goes in another direction. The women are in charge.

 

[SillyGirl]

Threads like this make me feel good about my decision to never get involved in a really serious relationship again. :thumb:

 

[ctv250]

I think all of you married dudes who fool around with SPs are a bunch of cheating bastards and you should stop it right now! Then it will be easier for us single guys to get appointments and might even drive prices down a bit.

 

[simon482]

hey OP, you can't say your are honest in anything or even old school when your main relationship is built around a lie. you are either honest or your not, there is no grey area.

 

[fuji]

Most men are wired to mate with a 'suitable' mates

Where a suitable mate is any reasonably attractive woman who is not a close relative. The ones who don't actually cheat sit around fantasizing about cheating by watching porn.