Do you ever wonder why you're such a lying, cheating bastard...

[Stoo]

So I'm a happily married guy. Great girl, pretty, decent sex life (perhaps a little too "normal"). I love spending time with her. I have never had an affair, and have no interest in having one.

In my work life, I am honest, ethical and trust-worthy. In fact, in a survey my employer did recently, my clients all felt that they trusted me. My word is my bond. I'm kinda old-school that way. I do deals worth hundreds of thousands of dollars on a handshake. I'm a fucking Rotarian for Christ sake...

So why is that every week or two I'm off to the rub 'n tug or a SP or maybe even the VIP... I have no interest in quitting this hobby, but the only time I think about it is when I think about what it would do to the Missus if she found out. I don't think she would dump me, but she would be "crushed". I "stop" hobbying once in a while to prove I can do it, and as soon as I am satisfied that I can, I go back to it!

I don't imagine I'm alone in this...

So what's with us? Are we just wired to be horn-dogs? Are we missing something in our lives?

 

[blackrock13]

So I'm a happily married guy. Great girl, pretty, decent sex life (perhaps a little too "normal"). I love spending time with her. I have never had an affair, and have no interest in having one.

In my work life, I am honest, ethical and trust-worthy. In fact, in a survey my employer did recently, my clients all felt that they trusted me. My word is my bond. I'm kinda old-school that way. I do deals worth hundreds of thousands of dollars on a handshake. I'm a fucking Rotarian for Christ sake...

So why is that every week or two I'm off to the rub 'n tug or a SP or maybe even the VIP... I have no interest in quitting this hobby, but the only time I think about it is when I think about what it would do to the Missus if she found out. I don't think she would dump me, but she would be "crushed". I "stop" hobbying once in a while to prove I can do it, and as soon as I am satisfied that I can, I go back to it!

I don't imagine I'm alone in this...

So what's with us? Are we just wired to be horn-dogs? Are we missing something in our lives?

Have you not been paying attention to FUJI's arguments on this exact topic, of course you are.

Yet according to mainstream science and most on this BB, not. You're just a horn dog that doesn't get enough.

As for your honesty, I'm not gong to throw stones much here and simply say you compartmentalize it in your world and pretty much do a decent job at being honest. Keep up the good work

 

[rafterman]

It's genetic.

 

[avxl1003]

So I'm a happily married guy. Great girl, pretty, decent sex life (perhaps a little too "normal"). I love spending time with her. I have never had an affair, and have no interest in having one.

In my work life, I am honest, ethical and trust-worthy. In fact, in a survey my employer did recently, my clients all felt that they trusted me. My word is my bond. I'm kinda old-school that way. I do deals worth hundreds of thousands of dollars on a handshake. I'm a fucking Rotarian for Christ sake...

So why is that every week or two I'm off to the rub 'n tug or a SP or maybe even the VIP... I have no interest in quitting this hobby, but the only time I think about it is when I think about what it would do to the Missus if she found out. I don't think she would dump me, but she would be "crushed". I "stop" hobbying once in a while to prove I can do it, and as soon as I am satisfied that I can, I go back to it!

I don't imagine I'm alone in this...

So what's with us? Are we just wired to be horn-dogs? Are we missing something in our lives?

I'm in a similar boat.. HOF would have a field day with this thread.

I figure I'm just a little more sexually charged than others. If my wife was ever interested in joining me with my SPs, I think I'd die of happiness. I don't like sneaking around behind her back.. But sometimes it's kinda nice to have a 20 something with fake tits bouncing on your rod...

It'll be a matter of seconds before somebody chimes in with "would you be okay with it if she wanted the same?".. The answer is no.. I wouldn't, and it probably makes me a poor husband.. Oh well..

 

[Carling]

So I'm a happily married guy. Great girl, pretty, decent sex life (perhaps a little too "normal"). I love spending time with her. I have never had an affair, and have no interest in having one.

In my work life, I am honest, ethical and trust-worthy. In fact, in a survey my employer did recently, my clients all felt that they trusted me. My word is my bond. I'm kinda old-school that way. I do deals worth hundreds of thousands of dollars on a handshake. I'm a fucking Rotarian for Christ sake...

So why is that every week or two I'm off to the rub 'n tug or a SP or maybe even the VIP... I have no interest in quitting this hobby, but the only time I think about it is when I think about what it would do to the Missus if she found out. I don't think she would dump me, but she would be "crushed". I "stop" hobbying once in a while to prove I can do it, and as soon as I am satisfied that I can, I go back to it!

I don't imagine I'm alone in this...

So what's with us? Are we just wired to be horn-dogs? Are we missing something in our lives?

you just describe most of us on here...i am in a very similar situation..i will hobby once, then go on a 4 month hiatus...in part , because of fear of someone finding out...and also guilt for crossing a line...but we are MEN, and with that comes blue balls...

 

[Stoo]

I knew I could count on you guys to make me feel better. Incidentally avxl1003, I did share a girl with the Missus a year ago in Montreal. Amazing night. She loved it too, but says she won't do it again. (Ther'e's a review on Merb if you're curious) All freeked out (in hindsight) about STDs etc... Sigh.

 

[Roger Melon]

I don't even think about it. I was "born this way".

The fact is that if it wasn't for the hyper sex-drives most men have the human race would have gone extinct tens of thousands of years ago. Women happily take advantage of our desperate need for sex when they want something (marriage, kids etc.) then as soon as they have what they're after all those promissory notes for unlimited blow-jobs and kinky sex are forgotten.

You guys in Toronto are lucky that you can satisfy your completely natural urge to spread your seed throughout the herd without encountering the law enforcement and criminal issues that face us poor slobs in the USA.

 

[swalbr]

I knew I could count on you guys to make me feel better. Incidentally avxl1003, I did share a girl with the Missus a year ago in Montreal. Amazing night. She loved it too, but says she won't do it again. (Ther'e's a review on Merb if you're curious) All freeked out (in hindsight) about STDs etc... Sigh.

Man, if your wife participated in a threesome even once, I'd say your sexlife was not exactly "normal"!!!!

 

[dondada]

it's just easy...convenient...satisfying...and addictive (damn dopamine)!!

 

[blackrock13]

I don't even think about it. I was "born this way".

The fact is that if it wasn't for the hyper sex-drives most men have the human race would have gone extinct tens of thousands of years ago. Women happily take advantage of our desperate need for sex when they want something (marriage, kids etc.) then as soon as they have what they're after all those promissory notes for unlimited blow-jobs and kinky sex are forgotten.

You guys in Toronto are lucky that you can satisfy your completely natural urge to spread your seed throughout the herd without encountering the law enforcement and criminal issues that face us poor slobs in the USA.

You might want to check the facts. It's really only about 25%, as pointed out in other active threads with references and then about another 20% that think about but don't.

I'm not sure the guys in TO, especially most on this BB, spread their seed much except in a towels, a condoms, the bathroom stalls of SC's and showers.

 

[Stoo]

Man, if your wife participated in a threesome even once, I'd say your sexlife was not exactly "normal"!!!!

So I shouldn't tell you we had a 8 year "thing" with another woman? OK, so maybe it's better than "normal".

Sh*t, now I feel guilty again. (The other woman shacked up with a guy, and she got all pure on us... which led to the SP visit.)

 

[rld]

I don't even think about it. I was "born this way".

The fact is that if it wasn't for the hyper sex-drives most men have the human race would have gone extinct tens of thousands of years ago. Women happily take advantage of our desperate need for sex when they want something (marriage, kids etc.) then as soon as they have what they're after all those promissory notes for unlimited blow-jobs and kinky sex are forgotten.

You guys in Toronto are lucky that you can satisfy your completely natural urge to spread your seed throughout the herd without encountering the law enforcement and criminal issues that face us poor slobs in the USA.

Compared to most animals our fecundity is not very good. It also take forever to carry the child and raise the damned thing. Darwinian evolution likely does not play a role in "our" choices to use alternative sexual services. The number of men who partake is probably very small compared to the overall population so we would be the exception rather than the rule evolutionarily speaking. ie if it was hard wired into all men then all men would do it.

As we sit now...most of our sex habits are probably more culturally mediated than biologically.

 

[Petzel]

It all dates back to when man was first evolving. Man is hard wired to spread his seed as much as possible to create a viable gene pool. The more he spreads his seed, the better each generation of offspring will be. ie. healthy, robust, strong
Also they were hunter-gatherers and often were away for long periods of time while the females stayed in the cave etc. to look after the offspring. Monogomy is a man made institution and goes against all our biological genetics. That's why it's so hard to conform and stick to one woman.

 

[weekend78]

Interesting topic, I am very similar to the OP, minus the threesome with my wife. Really wish she would bring that up. Also I would love to find out she has a lover. If would make be feel better about visiting MP, SPs. ( I have given up on SPs for now.) I tell my self massages aren't cheating, but they are. I think it's more to do with variety than anything else. I don't think I have every visited a MP or SP that looks even close to my wife.

 

[Petzel]

Interesting topic, I am very similar to the OP, minus the threesome with my wife. Really wish she would bring that up. Also I would love to find out she has a lover. If would make be feel better about visiting MP, SPs. ( I have given up on SPs for now.) I tell my self massages aren't cheating, but they are. I think it's more to do with variety than anything else. I don't think I have every visited a MP or SP that looks even close to my wife.

But that variety you're looking for is due to the hard wiring genetics of man to seek mutliple females so he can spread his seed.

 

[Roger Melon]

The number of men who partake is probably very small compared to the overall population so we would be the exception rather than the rule evolutionarily speaking. ie if it was hard wired into all men then all men would do it.

If you take a fundamentalist Christian view of the issue then even masturbation could be seen as "spreading the seed". From that perspective the percentages would be more like 99.5% of men straying (with the other .5% being damn liars!). If anything I would say that cultural influences greatly inhibit the natural instincts men have to share their genetic wealth.

 

[rld]

It all dates back to when man was first evolving. Man is hard wired to spread his seed as much as possible to create a viable gene pool. The more he spreads his seed, the better each generation of offspring will be. ie. healthy, robust, strong
Also they were hunter-gatherers and often were away for long periods of time while the females stayed in the cave etc. to look after the offspring. Monogomy is a man made institution and goes against all our biological genetics. That's why it's so hard to conform and stick to one woman.

you are simply dead wrong that monogomy goes against our biological design. That theory has been pretty dead for about 50 years now in the scientific community.

 

[rld]

If you take a fundamentalist Christian view of the issue then even masturbation could be seen as "spreading the seed". From that perspective the percentages would be more like 99.5% of men straying (with the other .5% being damn liars!). If anything I would say that cultural influences greatly inhibit the natural instincts men have to share their genetic wealth.

I meant the number of men who partake as those who use SPs or MPs. I think it is a small portion of society.

From an evolutionary perspective masturbation is a very poor strategy.

 

[dirkd101]

Originally Posted by Petzel

It all dates back to when man was first evolving. Man is hard wired to spread his seed as much as possible to create a viable gene pool. The more he spreads his seed, the better each generation of offspring will be. ie. healthy, robust, strong
Also they were hunter-gatherers and often were away for long periods of time while the females stayed in the cave etc. to look after the offspring. Monogomy is a man made institution and goes against all our biological genetics. That's why it's so hard to conform and stick to one woman.

you are simply dead wrong that monogomy goes against our biological design. That theory has been pretty dead for about 50 years now in the scientific community.

I agree with Petzel on this. We might be the missing link part of the equation.

Stoo, we are not lying, cheating bastards. We simply need outlets for hyper charged libidos. Instead of going out and picking up or romancing ladies into bed, we just go for the gold and head straight to the deed, an hour or two later we are back at work/life, like nothing had happened. No need to have a locker room talk with the boys, as for most of us this is all hush, hush, spy like activity.

 

[Petzel]

If you take a fundamentalist Christian view of the issue then even masturbation could be seen as "spreading the seed". From that perspective the percentages would be more like 99.5% of men straying (with the other .5% being damn liars!). If anything I would say that cultural influences greatly inhibit the natural instincts men have to share their genetic wealth.

No that's not the case at all. Masturbation is considered a sin by most Christian fundamentalists, Jews and Catholics because it's not being used for the sole purpose of procreation. That's why monogamy is a man made institution and not a biological need.