Do Opposites Attract?

[friendz4evr]

She drives a Lexus, he rides a Harley; she's a sports nut, he's a bookworm; he's a Republican, she's a Democrat. Do opposites really attract? Is it good if they do?


It depends what you mean by "opposite." "I believe unresolved patterns attract," says Paul Cutright, author of You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think. Cutright, along with his wife Layne, run the Center for Enlightened Partnerships in Las Vegas. "What most people call falling in love is really falling in pattern," he says. "Relationships are about getting our own needs met, often on an unconscious basis. In other words, we try to find someone who is complementary to us and can help us learn, heal, and grow."

Details in http://www.webmd.com/solutions/sc/relationships/chemistry

 

[shawnbg]

I think the key sentence in the article you linked to was "we try to find someone who is complementary to us and can help us learn, heal, and grow", but some similarities in religion, class, education, values, are also important.

I usually prefer women who are the complete opposite of myself for serious relationships and almost every one of my long term relationships in my life have been with girls who were much different personality-wise then me. I can be a little extreme and wild at times, irresponsible, competitive, confrontational and extravagant.

However, I'm almost always only interested in serious relationships with and get along much better with girls who are the opposite of me... innocent, slightly nerdy, inexperienced, stable, responsible, passive, non-confronatational, frugal, loyal, types. I think the differences help balance each other out and complement each other.

I've tried many times dating girls very similar to me and they never lasted very long, just caused too much trouble together, instability, competition and regular battles and confrontations.

IMO, opposites do attract much better then people who are very similar and it makes for a much more interesting relationship.

 

[DshRipRock]

My wife and I are opposites. Married 20 years.

 

[stang]

Not sure about opposites attracting. But I do know that stupid people reproduce too quickly and have stupid kids.

 

[shawnbg]

Don't hijack this thread. It wasn't about you and your parents.

 

[Toronto Passions]

Personally, I think it's pretty rare that opposite personality types can maintain a long-term relationship. There may be some attraction in the beginning based on little more than looks, but for the long term it's probably not terribly successful.

Opposites attract only with magnets, not people.

This is 100% true!

Initial attraction is interesting because of the seperate ways, but it's too much of an uphill battle to constantly have to bend over backwards in an effort to constantly compromise.

It holds too much room for butting heads.

 

[shawnbg]

This is 100% true!

Initial attraction is interesting because of the seperate ways, but it's too much of an uphill battle to constantly have to bend over backwards in an effort to constantly compromise.

It holds too much room for butting heads.

That may be your opinion. Personally, I prefer the uphill battle and would much rather meet and spend time with someone different then me in a relationship where we could both learn, grow and compromise from each other instead of both us already being nearly the same.

I stick with my guy friends, because we have the same interests, hobbies and like the same things, but not my girlfriends.

 

[Toronto Passions]

That may be your opinion. Personally, I prefer the uphill battle and would much rather meet and spend time with someone different then me in a relationship where we could both learn, grow and compromise from each other instead of both us already being nearly the same.

In a perfect world it's like Paula Abdul and that cartoon rapper cat.

From my experience (we all have seperate ones) after that first attraction and learning curve, it becomes an obstacle. I'm talking about essential things here, not cute little seperate ways. That can be nice. However the big things become BIG obstacles. I guess it would really depend on the personality of the people involved too.

 

[Berlin]

She drives a Lexus, he rides a Harley; she's a sports nut, he's a bookworm; he's a Republican, she's a Democrat.

Do opposites really attract?

Is it good if they do?

I don't think there is any one for all kind of answer for the above questions. But I'll tell you this, some of the most interesting and fun couples I have met and know are similar to what you described up there. Intro vs extro so to speak, but deep down they share some similar core values in life , which , I trust, is what bond them together.

What we see on the outside is only half the story, at times.

 

[Bella6969]

Somtimes opposites attract if there is a taboo or forbidden element to the relationship.
An example is dating outside of your race if it's frowned upon by your culture or family.

Ive seen that happen so many times, a rebellion thing *

 

[Deviant]

Opposites attract
but its the similarities that keep people together.

 

[lonecoxxman]

Not sure about opposites attracting. But I do know that stupid people reproduce too quickly and have stupid kids.

WoW! You certainly got that right! Hit the nail right on the head.

 

[to-guy69]

Short term yes (curioisty, experientation, ect.) but long term no (compatibility issues).

 

[Mia.Colpa]

She drives a Lexus, he rides a Harley; she's a sports nut, he's a bookworm; he's a Republican, she's a Democrat. Do opposites really attract? Is it good if they do?

I think opposites attract, but you need at least one common element to stay together.

In my current relationship, she's gorgeous and I'm ugly, I dress like an easy going bum and she always dresses to the nines, I'm short and overweight but she's taller and slim, she hasn't got much money but I've done alright in life and ain't hurtin', she spends like there's no tomorrow and I'm so damn cheap, she likes to be the centre of attention at parties and I just want to be in the corner and whisper, she quit high school and I've completed graduate studies, I have a very small, usually flacid penis and she has a large vagina with a huge sex drive.

We have a lot of differences and being opposites in a lot of areas made for some funny discussions and attracted us to eachother, but to stay together for the long haul, you do really need a common ground somewhere to be the glue to keep you both together. Thank God for my Gene Simmons tongue.

 

[Keebler Elf]

However, I'm almost always only interested in serious relationships with and get along much better with girls who are the opposite of me... innocent, slightly nerdy, inexperienced, stable, responsible, passive, non-confronatational, frugal, loyal, types.

Freud would have something to say about this.

 

[Toronto Passions]

Freud would have something to say about this.

About the girl he describes lack of defense mechanisms?

He would probably label her "free will" as delusions and that would destroy their chemistry. She would start to second guess herself in being passive. Lol.

 

[ActionJackson]

Somtimes opposites attract if there is a taboo or forbidden element to the relationship.
An example is dating outside of your race if it's frowned upon by your culture or family.

More often with younger people.