UPDATE
Please scroll down to the 13th post in this thread to read Count Dracula's account of what happened when he actually met Valerie face to face.
END OF UPDATE
There is no review here, and nothing good or bad to say about Valerie, so don't waste your time reading this review, because it isn't one. The fact of the matter is, I did not qualify (DNQ), so there is no review here, just the long, incoherent babblings of a man who consumed far too much defoliage agent while fighting Charlie during the seventies.
Blond Beauty ** Valerie ** Visiting Durham Toronto Party Fun
So, I kinda felt obligated to take another one for the team after reading the ever so kind and appreciated kudos a fellow Terbite bestowed upon me, so I went looking for another slim and attractive young girl in Durham that hadn’t been reviewed yet, or at least, one that the wonky TERB search tool doesn’t bring up when you put in all the right keywords. I chose Valerie (2728) to be my next recognizance mission.
Magically disappearing ink
I had some mild reservations looking at her photos. In the hottest photo of them all where she is sorta on her knees, you can’t see any ink on her back. Yet in another photo where she looks a bit thicker, you can clearly see a tattoo. So right away I was a bit worried. I also have a rule of never visiting girls that don’t show their stomach straight on, and in both the posted pics that show her from the front she is covering her belly. So magically appearing and disappearing ink, along with a reluctance to display the midsection are usually deal breakers for a guy that prefers spinners and fitness models where you can do octal math using their abdominals.
We texted and she said $120 for the hh with a full GFE including BBBJ, DATY, COB, COF and MSOG, as if I could take multiple shots in a half hour session. I typically need a 24-48 hour recovery time before anyone should even think about passing me the puck. I didn’t ask about CIM. I just assumed it was off the menu given the clear menu she texted, and figured I’d just ask when I was there. BBBJ and COF is a fine finish for me, although CIM is always preferred.
So, I get to a high quality hotel on Champlain and text her that I’ve arrived, at which point she tries to phone me, which is a problem, because I use a burner number when I hobby which doesn’t accept incoming calls. But even back in the day when I didn’t have a burner phone, I’d only ever text. I never liked the idea of discussing things on the phone when I don’t know who might be on the other end recording what I’m saying. With text, I can just delete my burner number, or at least lock my phone, and if law enforcement is there, they’re going to have a hard time tying me to the solicitation of a blow job. Of course, if they’ve got my voice recorded asking for CIM, I’m done. I know, it’s a tad bit paranoid, but I don’t like chatting about these things over the phone when someone on the other end might be recording. I lived through the Nixon era: I know what type of impact a taped conversation can have on a man's well-being.
24…32…HUT-HUT-HIKE
So, I texted her and told her that I prefer not to talk on the phone for the exact reasons I mentioned above, although I left out the part about Richard Nixon.
She texted me back, IN ALL CAPS, saying “I DO NOT TEXT MY ROOM NUMBER. EVER. SO I GUESS THAT’S IT.”
Now I respect a woman’s policies. I know Tina prefers to have men go through a hoop or two before she brings them into her home, and that’s cool. I think these girls should do everything and anything that they feel keeps them safe. My issue is with the all caps message. Seriously, we were having a nice conversation and then all of a sudden she whipped out the capital letters. Honestly, I didn’t even see them coming. It caught me off guard, and hurt me just a little bit. I'm still a little shaken.
I personally didn’t resort to the letters stored in the upper drawers of the printing press, but I texted her back in predominantly lower case saying “Every other girl does. Except cops. Sorry, I don’t take chances.” Now after writing that I kinda regretted it. I know, I didn’t resort to street tactics like hitting the shift key, but it was a bit snide, and these girls take enough shit from guys, she doesn’t need some old war vet getting on her case.
Just being a troublemaker
Her response was interesting. She didn’t slap me with upper case letters again, so she had clearly calmed down, but she did provide some justification for requiring a phone call.
“And more times these text only or textme app guys are troublemakers, black guys, working girls esp and just plain old trouble. Have a nice evening!”
I appreciated her wishing me a nice evening, so I then sent her a nice message trying to be kind. Seriously, I tried to just make nice, no sarcasm there. I apologized for the miscommunication, told her that I wasn’t one of those guys she described, and just told her again that I feel uneasy when I don’t know who is on the other end of the phone. I then apologized a second time for wasting both of our time, and that was it.
Is texting ruining the profession?
I did think it was interesting that from her perspective, the use of these burner phones, fake phone number apps like TextME and messengers were messing up the game. I guess the old guys who typically don’t know how to download an Android app or use a burner number are a bit more reliable, and by actually phoning the person, she could tell that they were what Stephen Harper would call old stock Canadians. Well, I’m not sure if he was talking about men who visit prostitutes when he said that, but you get the idea.
So, basically, she called an audible on me and I wasn’t comfortable with the play so I walked off the field. Sorry to waste her time, my time, and now the time of every TERB member who thought they were getting a review here, because there isn’t one. I really have nothing positive or negative to say. Someone else, who actually uses their smartphone for synchronous voice communication, is going to have to TOFTT on this one. Honestly, I don't even know if my smartphone can place calls. I've certainly never placed one on it.
I was still in the mood though, so I kept scrolling down the date section in backpage and was forced to do something I normally would never do: I booked with a girl offering $60 blow jobs. You know that can never turn out well, can it? That review is to come.
UPDATE: Here's the review of the $60 BBBJ girl
Please scroll down to the 13th post in this thread to read Count Dracula's account of what happened when he actually met Valerie face to face.
END OF UPDATE
There is no review here, and nothing good or bad to say about Valerie, so don't waste your time reading this review, because it isn't one. The fact of the matter is, I did not qualify (DNQ), so there is no review here, just the long, incoherent babblings of a man who consumed far too much defoliage agent while fighting Charlie during the seventies.
Blond Beauty ** Valerie ** Visiting Durham Toronto Party Fun
So, I kinda felt obligated to take another one for the team after reading the ever so kind and appreciated kudos a fellow Terbite bestowed upon me, so I went looking for another slim and attractive young girl in Durham that hadn’t been reviewed yet, or at least, one that the wonky TERB search tool doesn’t bring up when you put in all the right keywords. I chose Valerie (2728) to be my next recognizance mission.
Magically disappearing ink
I had some mild reservations looking at her photos. In the hottest photo of them all where she is sorta on her knees, you can’t see any ink on her back. Yet in another photo where she looks a bit thicker, you can clearly see a tattoo. So right away I was a bit worried. I also have a rule of never visiting girls that don’t show their stomach straight on, and in both the posted pics that show her from the front she is covering her belly. So magically appearing and disappearing ink, along with a reluctance to display the midsection are usually deal breakers for a guy that prefers spinners and fitness models where you can do octal math using their abdominals.
We texted and she said $120 for the hh with a full GFE including BBBJ, DATY, COB, COF and MSOG, as if I could take multiple shots in a half hour session. I typically need a 24-48 hour recovery time before anyone should even think about passing me the puck. I didn’t ask about CIM. I just assumed it was off the menu given the clear menu she texted, and figured I’d just ask when I was there. BBBJ and COF is a fine finish for me, although CIM is always preferred.
So, I get to a high quality hotel on Champlain and text her that I’ve arrived, at which point she tries to phone me, which is a problem, because I use a burner number when I hobby which doesn’t accept incoming calls. But even back in the day when I didn’t have a burner phone, I’d only ever text. I never liked the idea of discussing things on the phone when I don’t know who might be on the other end recording what I’m saying. With text, I can just delete my burner number, or at least lock my phone, and if law enforcement is there, they’re going to have a hard time tying me to the solicitation of a blow job. Of course, if they’ve got my voice recorded asking for CIM, I’m done. I know, it’s a tad bit paranoid, but I don’t like chatting about these things over the phone when someone on the other end might be recording. I lived through the Nixon era: I know what type of impact a taped conversation can have on a man's well-being.
24…32…HUT-HUT-HIKE
So, I texted her and told her that I prefer not to talk on the phone for the exact reasons I mentioned above, although I left out the part about Richard Nixon.
She texted me back, IN ALL CAPS, saying “I DO NOT TEXT MY ROOM NUMBER. EVER. SO I GUESS THAT’S IT.”
Now I respect a woman’s policies. I know Tina prefers to have men go through a hoop or two before she brings them into her home, and that’s cool. I think these girls should do everything and anything that they feel keeps them safe. My issue is with the all caps message. Seriously, we were having a nice conversation and then all of a sudden she whipped out the capital letters. Honestly, I didn’t even see them coming. It caught me off guard, and hurt me just a little bit. I'm still a little shaken.
I personally didn’t resort to the letters stored in the upper drawers of the printing press, but I texted her back in predominantly lower case saying “Every other girl does. Except cops. Sorry, I don’t take chances.” Now after writing that I kinda regretted it. I know, I didn’t resort to street tactics like hitting the shift key, but it was a bit snide, and these girls take enough shit from guys, she doesn’t need some old war vet getting on her case.
Just being a troublemaker
Her response was interesting. She didn’t slap me with upper case letters again, so she had clearly calmed down, but she did provide some justification for requiring a phone call.
“And more times these text only or textme app guys are troublemakers, black guys, working girls esp and just plain old trouble. Have a nice evening!”
I appreciated her wishing me a nice evening, so I then sent her a nice message trying to be kind. Seriously, I tried to just make nice, no sarcasm there. I apologized for the miscommunication, told her that I wasn’t one of those guys she described, and just told her again that I feel uneasy when I don’t know who is on the other end of the phone. I then apologized a second time for wasting both of our time, and that was it.
Is texting ruining the profession?
I did think it was interesting that from her perspective, the use of these burner phones, fake phone number apps like TextME and messengers were messing up the game. I guess the old guys who typically don’t know how to download an Android app or use a burner number are a bit more reliable, and by actually phoning the person, she could tell that they were what Stephen Harper would call old stock Canadians. Well, I’m not sure if he was talking about men who visit prostitutes when he said that, but you get the idea.
So, basically, she called an audible on me and I wasn’t comfortable with the play so I walked off the field. Sorry to waste her time, my time, and now the time of every TERB member who thought they were getting a review here, because there isn’t one. I really have nothing positive or negative to say. Someone else, who actually uses their smartphone for synchronous voice communication, is going to have to TOFTT on this one. Honestly, I don't even know if my smartphone can place calls. I've certainly never placed one on it.
I was still in the mood though, so I kept scrolling down the date section in backpage and was forced to do something I normally would never do: I booked with a girl offering $60 blow jobs. You know that can never turn out well, can it? That review is to come.
UPDATE: Here's the review of the $60 BBBJ girl
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