Discussion: Seeing/Having Regulars vs Seeing New Women/Clients

[RebelinBed]

Hey y'all. I haven't had a true regular since before the pandemic. The last regular I had in 2019 is no longer working. I believe I started to see some benefits though. For example, she offered me a pretty damn good rate at the time. 300 for 2-3 hours. Personally, I like to see different women, partially due to my ADHD, partially because I like to see and explore different women and personalities and experiences.

However, I'm curious to see what everyone's views are on the pros and cons of seeing regulars vs seeing new people each time.

I already have an idea that some benefits can include "grandfathered" rates, maybe additional services that aren't offered normally (not necessarily unsafe), exploring fetishes that require more trust, and of course familiarity. Some cons from what I've learned in the last decade of doing this are: relationships getting too personal/romantic, breaking the client/provider discretion boundary, changes in expectations, etc.

But yeah anyway, what're your thoughts? Ladies welcome to comment as well.

P.S. PLEASE KEEP IT RESPECTFUL IN YOUR RESPONSES! Everyone has different views, perspectives, and experiences! Just because yours may not align with someone else's doesn't mean you get to be a rude and/or judgemental cunt about it. I will delete the thread if everyone doesn't play nicely in the sandbox.

EDIT: P.S.S No trolling either! (Looking at you @walleyejack & @taker2ez ) I want genuine and emotionally mature responses please!

 

[yrbell3]

I’ve always preferred having a regular SP. I know her, she knows me, we have chemistry and history and I’m never disappointed. As I’ve gotten older, I prefer connection over 100% looks.

The times, I have strayed from a regular SP, I’ve been disappointed or robbed at gunpoint.

 

[ashlee.]

As a provider I have been seeing some of my regulars since I was 18 and now at 35 we have built some pretty solid relationships. We connect over more than just sex, we ask about each others families and know important things about each others lives. The sex is great because we truly feel comfortable with each other. We can laugh and be goofy and know each others hot button to press. Then there's the next tier of regulars - we don't know each other as well but they have been seeing me for a while. We know what to expect from each other and there is a comfort level established. I know what they like and its easy and fun. Then there's guys who, you are their regular - they don't see anyone else. But they are not MY regular, as in they might only hobby a couple of times a year. Less of a comfort level for them I assume, but I know exactly what they are looking for. New clients are a wild card - but for me first time appointments are always so much fun. The client has usually been wanting/thinking of seeing me for some time so they are super excited and sometimes nervous. I find this endearing.

The only real "con" of a regular for me is that sometimes I worry it can feel too routine to them. Lots of clients are happy with, and coming to me for, that predictability. But sometimes I worry that the client wont speak up and let me know if they want to switch it up, do something different, spice it up, and instead just go see another girl cause its easier than voicing their desires. If they go see someone new and it is a good experience I am SO happy for them, but if they go see someone new and come back and say "I went to see so-and-so and it did not go well, I wished I had tried this with you" I feel bad they wasted their money feeling like they couldn't open up, or ask for something different without fear of insulting me. Variety and excitement are what draw many to this hobby so I would never be offended or take it as a slight to me that they want to try something different.

I have never had a regular that pushes for/expects more xxx for less $$$, I have heard that happens to a lot of girls and that would push me off regulars for sure - I believe that is a form of taking advantage of the relationship. I have entered into arrangements where the rate per hour is discounted - but they were always mutually beneficial in other ways.

 

[boomboom]

Persomally I prefer 1-3 regulars over someone different each time.
Chemistry, comfort, not FWB but I feel a way better connection when this happens. I've been quiet for a bit for health reasons but looking forward to reconnecting soon with 2 ladies.
1 lady I've been seeing for 20yrs & we know lots about each other & have a fantastic time. I know her sweet spots that set her off, a few times she's even thanked my for finally getting her over the edge for the day & explodes & quivers, as I know her trigger stops & know when & where to touch, stroke, kiss, lick etc.
We both went through our ups & downs in life & talked about it. Over the years several ladies have retired & I've had to find new regualrs
10yrs back it was more common to get a grandfather rate as pricing went up $20 or so. Not so much now & pricing has changed how often I play. I know the cost for ladies touring has sky rocketed at hotels, travel food outfits etc. Heck way back when, I thought $180-200 was a cap for a great 1hr meet up. NOw thats not possible
Now also that I'm retired, I don't have the same funds to play with, so I save up a bit longer to treat myself in this game we play. I used to visit someone once a month, now quarterly. Plus now living close to Algonquin Park, travel to see ladies is now a day trip planned out to see family, friends or shopping. When I lived in S/W Ont it was much easier.
WE still have some fantastic ladies out there to spend time with & I still enjoy the hobby, just not as often
I'm gratefull to have a roof over my head & buy food without having to 2nd guess can I afford to pay household bills & still play
Treat the SPs with respect, show up on time with good hygene , shower again when you get there, have donation ready. respect their boundries, explore & maybe expand your boundies

 

[Jenesis]

As a provider I have been seeing some of my regulars since I was 18 and now at 35 we have built some pretty solid relationships. We connect over more than just sex, we ask about each others families and know important things about each others lives. The sex is great because we truly feel comfortable with each other. We can laugh and be goofy and know each others hot button to press. Then there's the next tier of regulars - we don't know each other as well but they have been seeing me for a while. We know what to expect from each other and there is a comfort level established. I know what they like and its easy and fun. Then there's guys who, you are their regular - they don't see anyone else. But they are not MY regular, as in they might only hobby a couple of times a year. Less of a comfort level for them I assume, but I know exactly what they are looking for. New clients are a wild card - but for me first time appointments are always so much fun. The client has usually been wanting/thinking of seeing me for some time so they are super excited and sometimes nervous. I find this endearing.

The only real "con" of a regular for me is that sometimes I worry it can feel too routine to them. Lots of clients are happy with, and coming to me for, that predictability. But sometimes I worry that the client wont speak up and let me know if they want to switch it up, do something different, spice it up, and instead just go see another girl cause its easier than voicing their desires. If they go see someone new and it is a good experience I am SO happy for them, but if they go see someone new and come back and say "I went to see so-and-so and it did not go well, I wished I had tried this with you" I feel bad they wasted their money feeling like they couldn't open up, or ask for something different without fear of insulting me. Variety and excitement are what draw many to this hobby so I would never be offended or take it as a slight to me that they want to try something different.

I have never had a regular that pushes for/expects more xxx for less $$$, I have heard that happens to a lot of girls and that would push me off regulars for sure - I believe that is a form of taking advantage of the relationship. I have entered into arrangements where the rate per hour is discounted - but they were always mutually beneficial in other ways.

Are you in my head????? I saw his post, got busy but was going to come back and basically say this exact same thing. LOL.

Now I have had a couple of guys try to get a little more personal like asking my real name and some have gotten in over their head emotionally and I have had to cut them off but I can't say I have ever had anyone try to get more service for less money.

Oh and I have had a couple of guys think it was time for BBFS because I was their regular and they trust me and that has cut off the relationship as well but these examples are a very very very small part of my clientele.

 

[RebelinBed]

Yeah, I don't believe it's right for clients to ask to get more service for less money. However, if the lady offers, as was my situation then that's different. For context, I had seen her 3-4 times and she offered me 300 for 2-3 hours for my birthday but then we found it worked for both of us so we kept that arrangement.

I will go back to ladies I've seen before every so often if we vibed and has a good time together. I just like variety is all I guess.

 

[LP191]

Me and Julia Mae go back years and years

I get discounted rates and I’m able to do a lot more than the regular John

I recommend any hobbiest get a regular for those nights where lots of scammers are running rampant

 

[dirkd101]

Great thread @RebelinBed!

I used to have a handful of regulars, but there was one in particular that was my main regular. Like @Ashlee said, you share some pretty intimate details about your life with them, making you closer in return. So every session was deeper and you left without it ever feeling transactional.

 

[WanderingJohn]

I had every expectation of getting into this hobby to get the experience trying all different women of all different backgrounds unfortunately Ashlee kinda ruined that for me lol.
Now I’m pretty much exclusive to her outside of the private suggestions provided by the fellow TERBers I’ve become friendly with. But even with that, it’s hard to see someone new when you know exactly what you’re getting when you see the one you trust.

 

[RebelinBed]

Thinking about it now, I think it's also partly because I can connect with almost anyone the same way most of these ladies can. So finding a regular is hard for me because that connection REALLY has to be there. Like to the point of near-pure infatuation.

Maybe I should become a gigolo

 

[SinnamonFairbanks]

I prefer regulars. They usually run their course. when someone is acting funny, I usually just say they're "going sideways" on me. Eventually things in their life change. They get a GF, they cant afford it anymore, they move. Sometimes I just catch attitude from them for no reason and they might even book and appointments and not show up. I don't take it personally. They're going through something. Maybe they're mad about all the money they spent over the years. Maybe they're mad I don't have mutual feelings when they only get ahold of me when they need something. Who knows. I gave up trying to figure people out and why they decide to do certain things. I had some pretty loyal regulars until I moved. They always got me through tough times. I could count on their money pretty much weekly or monthly. I was part of their "budget". I hate seeing new people. Hate it! I never know if they're going to be awful. Some people I could meet for the first time and spend all day with them and some people aren't worth the money and I dont know how I'm going to get through the next 15 minutes let alone an hour or two. Most people (mostly my regs) I am totally fine charging less money for. They're good people. But... there's some people that are terrible and even if I doubled my rate and added an asshole tax wouldn't be worth it.

I dont like seeing new people because there's a small chance they're going to be smelly or dirty or just have an insufferable personality. I end up seeing quite a few people who are clearly on the spectrum. That's all fine and good. but when they hire me for hours and they only want to talk about 3 things and trying to change the conversation ultimately leads back to the same topics... It feels like hell. I'd honestly rather smell balls. or having to spend hours with someone who corrects everything you say, but they're wrong about everything. They mansplain everything like they're talking to a child but they're wrong about everything. I've had to smile and nod through so many anti-vax, anti- trudeau, anti liberal, xenophobic, racist, homophobic rants. They're just lonely and want someone to listen, but its hard.

I can laugh about these things now, but these are all things I have wanted to quit because of or definitely raise my rates over. lol ... also the physical violence and the verbal abuse. I definitely wanted to quit over that. Those are the more obvious, less funny reasons. I quit for a while because of it but came back because of my regulars. I got a lot of really sweet messages and it really built my confidence up, when I basically lived in constant fear it was going to happen again. When I was gone there were some people that really credited me for helping them a lot through a really dark time in their life and I thought that was pretty nice.

I always felt like I provided more than sex and for a lot of people I was WAY more than that. I was a friend and a listening ear when they didn't have someone and they felt worthless. Some of the messages I got, really made me feel good. I always joked that I was more of a therapist. In a lot of ways I'm the only person some of these guys talk to about stuff because they cant talk to anyone else and that feels pretty good. I love my regulars. I was there for a lot of people, but it was really cool that they were there for me when I needed them Some of them helped me so much and they don't even know how much it meant to me. It's really hard in this business not to become jaded and angry doing this job when people mistreat us but when I look back, it was all mostly a positive experience. I met a lot of really great people I wouldn't have met otherwise. It really expanded my view of the world and as a person who loves to laugh, I like to look at the funny and ridiculous things.

Like it's funny that what a criminal who lives on the fringe of society has in common with a person who works in law enforcement is seeing me.
and what a person who lost their kids from drugs and a child protection worker have in common is they both see me.
An accountant and someone who took all their money off their Visa to hire me... also seeing me.
A real estate agent and a person living out of a hotel....me
The crook who clearly doesn't pay taxes and the guy who works for the CRA... Moi
The CEO and the laborer... you get it.

Its weird how different everyone is. They couldn't be MORE different. I'm still blown away by the contrast some days.

 

[LP191]

I prefer regulars. They usually run their course. when someone is acting funny, I usually just say they're "going sideways" on me. Eventually things in their life change. They get a GF, they cant afford it anymore, they move. Sometimes I just catch attitude from them for no reason and they might even book and appointments and not show up. I don't take it personally. They're going through something. Maybe they're mad about all the money they spent over the years. Maybe they're mad I don't have mutual feelings when they only get ahold of me when they need something. Who knows. I gave up trying to figure people out and why they decide to do certain things. I had some pretty loyal regulars until I moved. They always got me through tough times. I could count on their money pretty much weekly or monthly. I was part of their "budget". I hate seeing new people. Hate it! I never know if they're going to be awful. Some people I could meet for the first time and spend all day with them and some people aren't worth the money and I dont know how I'm going to get through the next 15 minutes let alone an hour or two. Most people (mostly my regs) I am totally fine charging less money for. They're good people. But... there's some people that are terrible and even if I doubled my rate and added an asshole tax wouldn't be worth it.

I dont like seeing new people because there's a small chance they're going to be smelly or dirty or just have an insufferable personality. I end up seeing quite a few people who are clearly on the spectrum. That's all fine and good. but when they hire me for hours and they only want to talk about 3 things and trying to change the conversation ultimately leads back to the same topics... It feels like hell. I'd honestly rather smell balls. or having to spend hours with someone who corrects everything you say, but they're wrong about everything. They mansplain everything like they're talking to a child but they're wrong about everything. I've had to smile and nod through so many anti-vax, anti- trudeau, anti liberal, xenophobic, racist, homophobic rants. They're just lonely and want someone to listen, but its hard.

I can laugh about these things now, but these are all things I have wanted to quit because of or definitely raise my rates over. lol ... also the physical violence and the verbal abuse. I definitely wanted to quit over that. Those are the more obvious, less funny reasons. I quit for a while because of it but came back because of my regulars. I got a lot of really sweet messages and it really built my confidence up, when I basically lived in constant fear it was going to happen again. When I was gone there were some people that really credited me for helping them a lot through a really dark time in their life and I thought that was pretty nice.

I always felt like I provided more than sex and for a lot of people I was WAY more than that. I was a friend and a listening ear when they didn't have someone and they felt worthless. Some of the messages I got, really made me feel good. I always joked that I was more of a therapist. In a lot of ways I'm the only person some of these guys talk to about stuff because they cant talk to anyone else and that feels pretty good. I love my regulars. I was there for a lot of people, but it was really cool that they were there for me when I needed them Some of them helped me so much and they don't even know how much it meant to me. It's really hard in this business not to become jaded and angry doing this job when people mistreat us but when I look back, it was all mostly a positive experience. I met a lot of really great people I wouldn't have met otherwise. It really expanded my view of the world and as a person who loves to laugh, I like to look at the funny and ridiculous things.

Like it's funny that what a criminal who lives on the fringe of society has in common with a person who works in law enforcement is seeing me.
and what a person who lost their kids from drugs and a child protection worker have in common is they both see me.
An accountant and someone who took all their money off their Visa to hire me... also seeing me.
A real estate agent and a person living out of a hotel....me
The crook who clearly doesn't pay taxes and the guy who works for the CRA... Moi
The CEO and the laborer... you get it.

Its weird how different everyone is. They couldn't be MORE different. I'm still blown away by the contrast some days.

I’m still blown away you’re using pictures from like 10 years ago lol

 

[HT2Doug]

I prefer having regulars. I usually get frustrated when trying new girls. My problem is, I have been in this hobby for a long time that most of my regulars are retired or retiring soon. Reviews are great but should be taken with a grain of salt.




,

 

[jefferyling3]

I prefer regulars as I find that you get more of a connection with them and can be open about what you like and prefer. However, I do need to see someone new every once in a while. I love women in all different shapes, sizes, colour, etc.

 

[Jenesis]

I’m still blown away you’re using pictures from like 10 years ago lol

There is sometimes a reason for that. She clearly stated she likes her regulars and putting out ads let’s them know she is available. It may not be for new clients.

Also, if she looks the same, there is really no need for new pictures.

Why you are harping on this with all that she wrote for you to comment on is really beyond me. This is the second time you have brought it up. Seems like you have an axe to grind with her.

 

[LP191]

There is sometimes a reason for that. She clearly stated she likes her regulars and putting out ads let’s them know she is available. It may not be for new clients.

Also, if she looks the same, there is really no need for new pictures.

Why you are harping on this with all that she wrote for you to comment on is really beyond me. This is the second time you have brought it up. Seems like you have an axe to grind with her.

Nope she gave decent service (6/10)

just having a laugh is all

 

[Jack_attack]

This is a great topic and one I talk to my therapist, and my regulars(!), often.

If you were to ask my therapist, he'd be the first to tell you that I prefer my sexual experiences be "novel" (his word). I like new things, I like having sex with new people, I like to stretch my boundaries - especially when my existing boundaries have been well exercised. When I was a more regular hobbier pre-pandemic I almost exclusively picked new people every time and only had one semi-regular (Kaydence) towards the end. New people satisfy something in my brain - the anonymity, the unexpected, the different things about them to be turned on about, no existing routine or expectations, etc etc.

With routines especially, like Ashlee raised earlier, regulars very much can, in some cases, become routine in a negative way. You plateau and/or hit a wall. You set expectations between the two of you that can later feel restrictive, whether they're intentional or subconscious. Even the established visit cadence can become a burden for expectations or expectations-not-met (ie. if you're used to seeing each other weekly and someone starts missing weeks without communication, it can cause friction). The transactional nature of it can drive a deeper wedge ("I'm dropping another $200 for same old??"). Eventually there's no novelty left to mine and things fizzle. And it's SO IMPORTANT for me to note that this could be either party's fault, or both, or neither. These things just happen sometimes.

Post-covid my tune has changed a bit, at least with hobbying. Regulars are safe, regulars are reliable. GOOD regulars establish rapport and intimacy (while maintaining professional boundaries) and REALLY GOOD regulars communicate and consensually push each other's boundaries so that things never get stale. You build intimacy, you make a friend, you have fun, you get an endorphin rush just by talking to them. As long as those professional walls stay up and respected, it's a wonderful thing.

I'll always have a special place in my heart (and my budget) for new hobbying experiences with new girls but with the regulars I've found in the last year or two, I've got people who fit what I need and always push my boundaries and keep things fresh.