dieting and mood

[jw01]

whats going on everyone? so i got a few questions for ppl that might be familiar with this topic! so my gf has been on a seriously strict diet, which consist of check this, special k cereal once in the morning and generally once at night. she eats practically nothing else and 99% of the time is starving herself. she has developed a phobia/fear of eating now thinking if she eats anything else she will gain weight. she is ~ 138 and wants to get down to 120 and she has lost well over 60lbs already to date which is amazing!!!

ive tried telling her what to eat and how her eating habit is wack but she rebels against anything i have to offer and eats w.e. it will be the odd occassion where she will have chicken or fish/veggies. she does however eat fruits (graphs, apples, strawberries) on a regular basis but other than that she only eats cereal. she says the carbs give her energy to function. she is either working 7hrs or if not going to the gym for a 2-3hrs if she isnt working.

bc of this im really worried. she has no desire or emotion for anything. 99% of the time she is starving and thus has no emotion othan than the thought of being hungry. she has no sex drive, no signs of showing affection towards me, absolutely no nothing. now my question is, i know the dieting is affecting her life at an incredible rate, but is having absolutely no sex drive, showing no affection normal for someone whose starving themselves? i get extremely antsy that she shows no feelings for me anymore and i get really upset about the situation and blow up on her, which doesnt help my case. its been like this for the past month and a half where all she eats is cereal.

now can someone pls help me out in terms of what i can do and tell this girl. shes is so consious of her image and has bad self esteem as she use to be overweight. now she is normal but has some lose skin as a result of her extreme diet which is really putting her esteem/ego down.

someone pls help as ive out of ideas things to tell her as she doesnt listen to me. she has no drive for anything other than losing the weight, and working. no affection showing one bit (no hugging, kissing) just constantly getting tired, exhausted and mentally draining herself bc of lack of food. 4 months ago she ate w.e and for the 3 months+ she has cut everything out of her eating, from chocolate, bread, subway, barely eating chicken/fish etc. only resorting to cereal, special K with skimmed milk, which cannot be good for her, considering that is all she eats. i uno how she is still on her two feet, but she puts a fake smile on and goes about her day.

can someone guide me in the right direction, i love the girl so i really want to help her fix her phobia/fear of eating. her lack of emotion/affection is driving me nuts! PLS HELP!

 

[lawyerman]

Dieting and mood goes hand in hand. I would strongly recommend seeing an ayurvedic doctor or a naturopathic doctor so she can be well balanced. She has lost the weight which is great but she has no drive to do anything whatsoever.

Send me a PM and I can give you some great recommendations.

 

[Cycleguy007]

Starving one self is not dieting. This is VERY bad for her body. (As evidenced by her current behaviour...) She needs to get some better advice by a doctor or dietitian etc.

 

[Ashley Dupree]

it sound like she have an eating disorder. all the symptom are there. it not uncommon for people to lose weight and get caught up in it. 2 people in my family have been hospitalize for anorexia when they were teenager. anything can trigger eating disorder from someone comment about weight to her or just a bad self body image. she need some professional help before it too late. i can see where you frustration lye where you are not getting affection but when you wrote this post you kept talking about how she wasnt giving you what you need. i hate to say it but this isnt about you anymore. she have serious problem and need help,. if you care about her you may need to put aside your frustration and help her. someone who has eating disorder does not understand the magnitude of what they are doing to themself or people who care about them. they are in denial. if she does end up having eating disorder it is for life. you can never completely recover from it. kind of like being alcoholic. steps need to be taken for her to get better. i wish you all the best.

 

[The Options Menu]

Yikes. That diet CANNOT be healthy. She must be seriously deficient in all kinds of nutrients.

If she continues to refuse other foods, it may be time to see a psych. Not kidding.

+1

I'd say see dietician to put the scare in her, then a therapist (alone, group, or maybe with you) or psychiatrist, then go back to the dietitian or a or naturopath to get her on a diet that's sane and will fill in some nutritional gaps she's accumulated. If this has gone on for too long you might want to get her blood work done to see what she's deficient in, or at least encourage her to get on a multivitamin (before her hair falls out or something).

Does her family know? Should they know? Do they like you? You might want to try a 'soft intervention'... Personally I'd be as concerned about the sort of thinking behind this 'diet' as the 'diet' itself.

Good luck.

 

[Ashley Dupree]

+1

I'd say see dietician to put the scare in her, then a therapist (alone, group, or maybe with you) or psychiatrist, then go back to the dietitian or a or naturopath to get her on a diet that's sane and will fill in some nutritional gaps she's accumulated. If this has gone on for too long you might want to get her blood work done to see what she's deficient in, or at least encourage her to get on a multivitamin (before her hair falls out or something).

Does her family know? Should they know? Do they like you? You might want to try a 'soft intervention'... Personally I'd be as concerned about the sort of thinking behind this 'diet' as the 'diet' itself.

Good luck.

Putting scare in her will only make her rebel more. she need family and friend intervention.

 

[ang]

She better be careful, 2 years ago my SO had an operation and after she could not eat, she lost alot of weight, but not without some medical problems, she was having major dizzy spells, also just from touching her she would bruise, after seeing her doc they did some blood work and dicovered she was anemic, after sorting this all out she has gained 15 lbs and is healthy.

 

[Questor]

Tough situation. Very unhealthy diet and no doubt affecting her mood. Good suggestions in terms of seeing dietician or naturopath and therapist. Getting her to agree is another thing though. Loving family and friends intervening, as one poster suggested, is one way. For sure she is more likely to respond to love and affection than getting on her case and fighting. Good luck.

 

[healer677]

Usually carb depleting anyone will put them in a nasty mood, plus the lack of any real protein in her diet could cause a lot of problems down the line.

Have her see someone. Make sure everyone around her is supportive before you approach her with a hard sell to stop this.

 

[The Options Menu]

Putting scare in her will only make her rebel more. she need family and friend intervention.

Fair enough- Skip the initial scare. She needs her family / friends on side, diet advice (dietician), and some help with whatever caused this (probably therapy of some sort). If there's a big concern she should figure out what she's deficient in... (and at a minimum get on a multivitamin.)

I had an ex-gf who went anaemic on a poorly executed shift to vegetarianism (Very iron deficient, if I remember). The problem spiralled over a long period, and it took quite some time for her get feeling good again. In her case there was no 'mental health issue' so just took some poking to get her in to have blood work, then she saw a proper dietician(?) who put her on a short run high iron diet (a supplement and lots of spinach if I recall) and helped her come up with a nutritionally balanced AND cheap vegetarian menu.

In the ex-gf's case, she didn't want to diet, she was poor (in the student sense) and wanted to be a vegetarian... In her case it got to the severe lack of energy, minor depression, and some very minor 'excess' bruising stage...

edit: And please to take the advice of professionals or people who have been down this road, as opposed to me. I'm an idiot.

 

[squash500]

it sound like she have an eating disorder. all the symptom are there. it not uncommon for people to lose weight and get caught up in it. 2 people in my family have been hospitalize for anorexia when they were teenager. anything can trigger eating disorder from someone comment about weight to her or just a bad self body image. she need some professional help before it too late. i can see where you frustration lye where you are not getting affection but when you wrote this post you kept talking about how she wasnt giving you what you need. i hate to say it but this isnt about you anymore. she have serious problem and need help,. if you care about her you may need to put aside your frustration and help her. someone who has eating disorder does not understand the magnitude of what they are doing to themself or people who care about them. they are in denial. if she does end up having eating disorder it is for life. you can never completely recover from it. kind of like being alcoholic. steps need to be taken for her to get better. i wish you all the best.

IMHO Ashley is on the right track with her good advice. I'm not sure where you live but if I was in your position the first thing that I would do is have your gf go to her family doctor and ask for a referrral to an eating disorders clinic.

I believe that all the major hospitals in Toronto have an eating disorders clinic as well as CAMH. Good luck with everything.

 

[jw01]

yeah i have contacted a quite a few eating disorder places and left a voice mail. hopefully ill hear from them soon. i booked a session with a naturopathic today so lets see how that goes.

i can and have been telling her what to do/eat, good way bad way but nothing works and she just rebels against what I have to say and we just end up arguing and fight and things get really ugly, where she feels im nagging and controlling her. but really im worried about what she is doing and who she is becoming. anyways, i really appreciate the input guys, ne other help would be great. thxs