Dealing with rejection
- Thread starter youwontknow
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Excepting the obvious trolling, there's a lot of wisdom in this thread. Youwontknow, I hope it has helped you to see that you're not the only person to go through this, and that you can and will get past it. Chin up, buckaroo...you won't always feel like this.
It would help your mood to start working out, if you aren't already. Breaking a sweat will help raise the level of feel-good brain chemicals.
Two years ago, the man I thought I'd be buried next to walked out with two hours notice, after 19 years. It's only been in the last six months or so that I really started to pick myself up off the floor. While I don't think I'll ever intertwine my life that much with another again, I am sure there will be other important men in my life. But in the meantime I'm okay by myself, and you will be too.
It would help your mood to start working out, if you aren't already. Breaking a sweat will help raise the level of feel-good brain chemicals.
Two years ago, the man I thought I'd be buried next to walked out with two hours notice, after 19 years. It's only been in the last six months or so that I really started to pick myself up off the floor. While I don't think I'll ever intertwine my life that much with another again, I am sure there will be other important men in my life. But in the meantime I'm okay by myself, and you will be too.
This month's edition of one of the science magazines talks about how people fantasize and idealize about an ex -- to the point that it is no longer realistic to be able to find someone that can live up to, much less top, that idealization -- not even the ex. I cannot remember the name of the magazine offhand but I will see if I can still find it and write another post if I can. I'm not a counsellor by any means but, just speaking from experience, have you asked yourself whether you are idealizing your ex? Have you tried writing down some of the scenarios that you may still picture with your ex? I found that writing it down for me helped because I could soon see that I was playing the same pictures over and over again and, at some point, it did hit home internally that I was not being realistic and I had been unconsciously taking much of what was happening around me for granted and not appreciating it. I found that making a conscious decision to appreciate different things helped me.
Thank you all for your advice I feel little bit better now.
To answer one of the guy question we were pretty close at least that's what I thought until I wanted a relationships I guess she could sense it and walk out on me. She is in a relationship now and lives in a difference provinces. Edit
To answer one of the guy question we were pretty close at least that's what I thought until I wanted a relationships I guess she could sense it and walk out on me. She is in a relationship now and lives in a difference provinces. Edit
Um no. That's what stalkers do. Just move on and find another woman. Better to hear "no" from many different women, than repeatedly from the same woman. If he keeps trying with different girls eventually he will hear "yes" from one he likes.
I fundamentally believe that dealing with rejection is what makes you a man. If you can deal with it, it's empowering. If you can't deal with it, it wrecks your life, and if you ever do find a relationship, you wind up "pussy whipped", for fear of rejection.
Aww, sorry to hear that. Good advice on your part, but don't just be 'Wandering Aimlessly' forever.
Oh man. from what it looks like, you were totally in the friend zone and took the jump to the real zone... which is where you failed and fell into the abyss forever. Ladder theory in effect =) How long were you friends with her beforehand? Were you a cuddle bitch?
I really don't see you getting with her, if you've thought about it. You waited too long.
find a new love. She'll make you forget her. I'm talking about dating women, not fucking SPs. You're too emotional for that to work =P
She moved on, so should you.
But he should in the very least clarify where he stands for the purpose of closure. He could break the heart of woman #2 should he find out down the road that it was merely a misunderstanding and then go back to woman #1. Some women are notorious for testing guys... just saying.
http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0117802/
Watch movie "Swingers" best break up movie for guys. Dude gets dumped after 6 yrs and his friends help him through the depression.
Watch movie "Swingers" best break up movie for guys. Dude gets dumped after 6 yrs and his friends help him through the depression.
Geez, man ... use paragraphs. Way too many words for me while I'm casually scanning. How long do you think my attention span is ...?
Whatever you do don't give up if you love her man... lay your cards down on the table and have a heart to heart. You owe it to her (if your love is sincere) and yourself (or you'll always regret not knowing).
I may have perverted tendencies but I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. Good luck! PM me should you need more advice buddy.
I wouldn't advise this unless I knew exactly the dynamics or details of their 'relationship'.
She could've been 'maintaining' a customer relationship by agreeing to go out with him. Was he intimately involved off the clock? Etc. ETc.
I question myself after having gone out with a gorgeous dancer off the clock. I think I either blew it or was just her 'cuddle bitch' OR was a very good customer who she trusted and enjoyed to hang with me when it suited her schedule. She definitely was upset if not jealous when she saw me with other dancers at the club (after our falling out) - I'll never forget it, but in hindsight, that was a stupid thing to do. It only made matters worse - and I was at the receiving end of some crazy shit including threats from her BF. Interestingly enough, I've seen her way later from afar at the club, and she's said hello to me through a friend. So it's water under the bridge. But I have yet to re-connect.
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