dating

MLAM said:
... I mean really...how often have you actually experienced this first hand?? "You know...I went out with him 3 times...no way he gonna get MY lips on his dick....but hell Becky, I know you are desperate..."
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LOL:)
 
CapitalGuy said:
She expects you to say no, but she gets to feel that she's let you down a little more softly by having extended an offer of a friendly outing with you (ie. to "prove" that you are in fact friends, thus taking some of the tension out of the breakup or whatever you want to call it.
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I agree. I find that while some girls have no problem ending things bluntly ("Sorry, you're not my type", etc) the majority hate breaking the bad news to someone they've just met who obviously likes them. Embarassed politeness maybe. So they try to avoid it by giving you the messsage by breaking dates, then not returning your calls or e-mails and hoping you'll get the hint, or saying "I'm not in mind for another relationship at the moment - lets be friends for now" meaning we're done, and if you get the hint and stop phoning, great, and if not, well, friends are good to have if that's all he wants us to be, so sure, lets be friends. If they met someone they had the hots for, they would be ready to have another relationship. The chick lit movie where the guy wants the girl, she says lets be friends, then later on after being friends for weeks/months she falls madly in love with him doesn't usually happen in real life. It can happen, but it is the exception, not the rule.
 
Every situation can be different, but a girl who truly likes you would never cancel a date (except for an emergency). This is reciprocal to any guy who would never cancel a date he really wants.

Having done that to you, the best thing you can do is to move on and say you are busy this weekend.

Let them come to you!!! (This is where most men have it all wrong!!!)
 
Nothing wrong with staying friends with her - just another contact for the future!
 
With him asking for advice I guess he was late teens, early 20's.

I was just friends in college with a few girls, had more fun hanging out with them and meeting other girls then I did getting drunk with the boys. Yeah we party too, it just never went farther than that, both of us were holding back and well with me I had another girl back in my hometown. Dumb ass me thought 1 was enough at a time

But yeah, it lasted just over a year and it did get uneasy at times.

Last I knew she "hated" me ??? Because we partied too much and I did not "care" about her.

Maybe its best to forget her...but damn I did have a year of fun hanging with her.
 
MLAM said:
...if it is your intention to fuck her, then you should be relatively straight forward AT ALL TIMES with your words and actions that it is your intention to fuck her. If she is going to...and trust me, she will decide by the end of the first date if she is going to...after that she is just deciding when...she'll respect you as a man more...
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I could not agree more. I would respond by telling her that for sure you want to get together with her, but that you don't believe guys and girls can be friends with out one wanting a physical relationship. Tell her that you think she is hot and that you want her, that you will continue to be her friend in every way, but that she should now right now that you will ALWAYS want her, and will continue to try to have her.

If she still wants to get together you are on your way. If not, no worries, you dodged the FRIENDS bullet.
 
MLAM said:
...that is too extreme a view if you feel that way as an absolute, but yeah...in general you are correct.

There are:

  • (Attractive) women you've slept with,

  • (Attractive) women you want to sleep with (note: there are reasons to not want to sleep with a woman, even though she is attractive...like she is your friends wife....I am not saying here that you have to sleep with ALL attractive women)

  • (Attractive) women that it has already been determined you will NOT be sleeping with them.

There are no such thing as (attractive) women you just want to be friends with. If a woman is attractive, she must pass through one of the three categories.

Ask ANY woman who is prepared to be honest with you, and they wil tell you the second biggest lie ever told (after size doesn't matter) is that a woman wants to be friends first. They NEVER want to be friends first.

When a woman tells you "I thing we can only be friends at this time", she means "you will never see me naked". Especially if she does so after canceling a date with you.

I tell my buds all the time that the biggest mistake they make is going the "friends" route. I don't suggest grabbing a woman tits the moment you meet her, but if it is your intention to fuck her, then you should be relatively straight forward AT ALL TIMES with your words and actions that it is your intention to fuck her. If she is going to...and trust me, she will decide by the end of the first date if she is going to...after that she is just deciding when...she'll respect you as a man more.

And...if she is put off...she was never going to fuck you anyway, so you've saved time and money...unless you are foolish enough to subscribe to the whole "every one needs a friend" bit....
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....MLAM's da main man. And he's right. I'm not so direct, but direct just the same. And I couldn't give a damn about their reaction. Women use all these 'be polite with me' head games shit to put you, as a man, in a disadvantage so she can control the relationship.
Women are control-freaks.

Don't fall for it; I've finally wised up to their dumb games. Remember that they're sitting on a depreciating asset, and they instinctively know it.
 
S.C. Joe said:
With him asking for advice I guess he was late teens, early 20's.

I was just friends in college with a few girls, had more fun hanging out with them and meeting other girls then I did getting drunk with the boys. Yeah we party too, it just never went farther than that, both of us were holding back and well with me I had another girl back in my hometown. Dumb ass me thought 1 was enough at a time

But yeah, it lasted just over a year and it did get uneasy at times.

Last I knew she "hated" me ??? Because we partied too much and I did not "care" about her.

Maybe its best to forget her...but damn I did have a year of fun hanging with her.
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...Youth is SO wasted on the young. If I could go back in time 20 years, I'd have been the dirtiest pig with every single woman that I wanted to shag, instead of the well-meaning, well-read, polite wanker that I actually was.
 
Compromised said:
Friends of friends can be some of the best dates! (or worst)

Everybody needs a friend. Just because she is not sucking your dick does not mean that she is useless. You don't have the boys suck your dick when you go out for a pint and some wings, do you?
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Only that one time...and I was really drunk...
 
FOOTSNIFFER said:
...Youth is SO wasted on the young. If I could go back in time 20 years, I'd have been the dirtiest pig with every single women that I wanted, instead of the well-meaning, well-read wanker that I actually was.
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Truer words have never been said. I would happily join you in such an endevour.
 
Me Too :D 1980's here we come
 
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