This sounds like she knows about some of your straying? If so, it explains a lot, and I verrrrry seriously doubt sex clubs will fix anything. She obviously does not see your sexual activities as making you a stud and I am not sure you are sensitive enough to understand how to include her or what she may need emotionally while you do it. You fucking 10s in front of her is most certainly not going to be it.
Date Night: Hitting a Sex Club?
- Thread starter Goodoer
- Start date
Maybe... But I doubt it. I do it so randomly and infrequently.
We have sex maybe 6 times per year. I know the exact day I conceived my second child as it was the only day we had sex that year. Thank God he looks just like me. This happened for years and years prior to me succumbing to the advances of another lady and then getting into hobbying.
Perhaps not, but I make an effort. Ask questions, try to understand...
Again, my initial goal for us is for voyeurism. Hopefully, she'd see that people are like her and she'd perhaps feel the sexual energy... We know everything about each other. What we lack is sex, spontaneity and fun. I'm not talking about fucking "10's", I was referring to all aspects of my life hitting "10s". I do well, but cannot solve this one problem. It remains just a "zero".
I'll chime in with my 2 cents.
I went to Oasis with a friend who also knows that I'm on this board. She might even still come on here occasionally. Hey OP.
We went on a weekday afternoon. It was empty. There was probably 1 other woman there, and maybe 4 or 5 other guys. We hung around for a while. Swam in the pool. Hot tub. It was a super fun and I'm not saying that because she's reading this (although if she is, it really was). The only thing I would change is that I would have maybe gotten a room in a hotel nearby and hung around for a while. Had some drinks. Maybe come back in the evening. But we got we did have the run of the upstairs floors for a while and then we were joined by one other couple who was doing their own thing (and we were doing ours).
It was fun and memorable, but not nearly the same as going when there are other people there. But it's worth considering for going in an afternoon when it's mostly empty and a fun escape Just saying.
I went to Oasis with a friend who also knows that I'm on this board. She might even still come on here occasionally. Hey OP.
We went on a weekday afternoon. It was empty. There was probably 1 other woman there, and maybe 4 or 5 other guys. We hung around for a while. Swam in the pool. Hot tub. It was a super fun and I'm not saying that because she's reading this (although if she is, it really was). The only thing I would change is that I would have maybe gotten a room in a hotel nearby and hung around for a while. Had some drinks. Maybe come back in the evening. But we got we did have the run of the upstairs floors for a while and then we were joined by one other couple who was doing their own thing (and we were doing ours).
It was fun and memorable, but not nearly the same as going when there are other people there. But it's worth considering for going in an afternoon when it's mostly empty and a fun escape Just saying.
As for your last statement, I wouldn’t make that assumption. There are plenty of guys here past retirement age, who still have very active sex drives and sex lives, and there are drugs that work very well for ED, which is not necessarily a certainty.I think I know her best. Things would be easier if she was a fat troll, but she is not. She's a mother, with a pretty face and a good body. I want to fuck her.
By the time I hit retirement, I'm assuming ED will set in and I have no ability or desire.
Even if you lose the desire by then, think of how you will feel if you look back with regret in 15-20 years on not having the satisfying marriage that you could have.
For sure sex is not everything in a marriage, but it is something. It is the key element that differentiates a marriage (or other intimate monogamous partnership) from other close relationships. Without it it’s hard for a marriage to survive, at least in a way where all parties are happy and satisfied, and don’t eventually end up resenting each other.
I think this is probably the best advice. Tho often it’s tough to get both partners on the same page wrt this. Ie if she doesn’t see a problem, ie her (minimal) physical needs are being met, and it seems he’s just being sexually demanding, it can be tough to convince her of the need to get therapy to improve their sex life.
Nonetheless this is probably the best chance to improve things, and a lot better chance of success vs a trip to Oasis.
I think that couples that tend to go to sex clubs
most often are ones made up of confident people with minimal insecurities, who already enjoy a good healthy mutually satisfying sex life, with minimal hang ups about sex.
Reigniting this thread. I can totally relate to Goodoer. I've been trying to figure what to do and I convinced the wife to see a sex therapist. I'm hoping it will expand her horizons and open up a bit about being more sexually adventurous. Anyone try sex therapy with SO?
My wife and I have been married for 19 years. She's 10 years younger than me and is an absolute 10. She has maintained her body for our entire marriage even after 3 kids. She works hard to maintain it. She loves sex more now than she did earlier on. She is always willing and I never have to ask twice. I wrote about our many encounters with SP's in other threads here and she is always up for it and often suggests it herself.
Getting her to this point of seeing SP's and becoming more sexually adventurous was a delicate process but paid off greatly.
We see SP's roughly once every two to three months and it's always fun to be with someone new. She is very bi-curious and enjoys being with women.
As for sex clubs, we have only been a couple of times a while back. We went to the X-club in Mississauga around 8 or so years ago but got turned off by the actions of the husband/wife owners at the time. We were recently thinking of going back again as I heard it is under new ownership. Our ultimate goal is to meet a unicorn or couple that we can regularily hang out with when we're looking to spice things up. Perhaps a place like the X-club will help us find that. Just worried that, like someone said earlier, it might be just full of 5's or 6's or just people that we don't connect with.
Has anyone been to X-club lately?
Getting her to this point of seeing SP's and becoming more sexually adventurous was a delicate process but paid off greatly.
We see SP's roughly once every two to three months and it's always fun to be with someone new. She is very bi-curious and enjoys being with women.
As for sex clubs, we have only been a couple of times a while back. We went to the X-club in Mississauga around 8 or so years ago but got turned off by the actions of the husband/wife owners at the time. We were recently thinking of going back again as I heard it is under new ownership. Our ultimate goal is to meet a unicorn or couple that we can regularily hang out with when we're looking to spice things up. Perhaps a place like the X-club will help us find that. Just worried that, like someone said earlier, it might be just full of 5's or 6's or just people that we don't connect with.
Has anyone been to X-club lately?
Woah! Dead thread bump!!! I feel you, Bro!
2022 has been a 'bust' for me. The wife and I have had some bad fights involving our sex life and I've been more brutally honest (more so than ever before)... I cannot tell if she's getting scared that I'm leaving, but she's promised to improve... We're now on pace for 5-10 times for the end of this year. Again, I'm super/hyper-focused on her enjoyment 100% (foreplay, mouth-love, fingering) which has (like before) resulted in her enjoyment and getting off, but I'm nowhere near completing now. I can keep it up, but I'm dead when it comes to completion. I'm tired of all the shit. I got no Vibe with her... I'm not sure I really care anymore...
I'm 99.999% sure she's not cheating, but her cluelessness about our relationship and the importance of sex is staggering... I do not even want to go on vacation with her as I have a next-to-zero connection with her.
FWIW, I bought a super realistic dildo to supplant my own epic wiener; swinging balls and all... I finally got to try it on her and It was the biggest sex failure in my life. 45 minutes of foreplay and a sopping-wet pussy and she finally agreed... 5 minutes in and she was thoroughly repulsed, flinging it away, just killing the mood and ending the night. No effort on her part. A part of me died... Why bother?
A few days later I explain my desire for visual and auditory stimulation to ramp up my excitement; that I need something!... I got a "you're amazing", but nothing else other than "no" to sex toys....
As such, the sex club visit will have to wait for now... I'm not sure about therapy as I'm busy with work and my resources are probably spent better elsewhere (thinking with my logical brain).
She's a vegan, who works less, does minimal housework (I do or help), reads books and meditates. Money is not a concern for her. Our children are excelling. She's has great relationships with her parents now.
Maybe you should take your favourite SP to the sex club. Probably have a better time and more of the outcome activity you are looking for. It’s just not going to happen with your wife bud. As we say.. different wife different life…
