confession thread

[NotADcotor]

I cheated on a girl and knocked the other girl up
I tell people I know Pauly Shore, that's a lie, I don't know why I do that.
I borrow people's chapstick and nose hair trimmers without asking
I bought a girl a cubic zirconium ring, told her it was diamond.
Killed her goldfish, just replaced it with another.
Threw up on a dog last time I had too much to drink
Peed in the sink
Used another person's toothbrush to clean the bathroom tile grout
I like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick
My boss thinks I am a jerk didn't get that raise
Haven't changed my underwear in 27 days
When I kiss anyone, I pretend she is a midget
If I drop buttered toast on the floor, I still serve it
Oh, that's not a cold sore
I return gifts for store credit
I pretend to be sick to avoid going to stupid office picnics
I've pretended to be out of cereal when we had enough for me only
I've wiped my nose on a cat
Yes, that dress does make you look fat

I don't know why I don't get more chicks, it's a complete and utter mystery.

I hear that Jimmy Carr uses his partners toothbrush, I mean if you know a better way of getting dog shit off your trainers, I'd like to hear it.

 

[Hawkwind]

I loved Downton Abbey TV series. (New Downton Abbey movie coming out in theatres only May 20, btw)

Have your tissues handy

 

[GameBoy27]

Further to my post #24. Another time at the same cottage. While a couple friends were down the dock, my wife and I and our friend's wife were the kitchen enjoying a beverage. My wife says, she's going to take a shower. As soon as we hear the water running, our friend grabs my cock through my shorts and leads me downstairs to the laundry room which is directly below the shower. She drops to her knees, unties the drawstring, pulls down my shorts and starts to give me an amazing BJ. I've had so many from her over the years and she never disappoints. Not knowing how long my wife was going to be in the shower, I was in a hurry to pop. Good thing was, we could hear the water running so we'd know when she was getting out.

After a couple minutes, I unloaded in her mouth and she swallowed every drop, as she always does. Now she was super horny so she pulled her shorts off and sat on the washing machine. I went down on her delicious bald pussy, teasing her big clit while I finger fucked her. It never takes much to make her cum and this time was no exception. She had a shivering orgasm and left a little puddle on top of the washer. My only concern was she's quite vocal. I had to keep telling her to be quiet. She hopped down and put her shorts back on. I grabbed a cloth to wipe off the washer, but she said no, leave it, with that mischievous grin of hers. We rushed back upstairs to the kitchen and grab our drinks and continued our conversation. My wife emerges from the shower and our friend says to her, that was a long shower. To which my wife says, I shaved my pussy. We all start laughing and as I look down, I notice the draw string on my shorts are undone. Thankfully my wife didn't notice.

Ended up having amazing morning sex with my wife and her freshly shaved pussy the next day.

 

[Josephine Grey]

Cheese curds (the squikie ones).

 

[GameBoy27]

One more sexcapade with the same lady. 3 of us couples were going to a concert together. We had planned to leave from our friend's house. We were having a preconcert drink on our deck. Everyone headed over to our friends place where the cab was to pick us up. I said I needed to change my clothes so I'd be there in a few minutes. Our friend said she'd wait for me. When I came out of the bedroom, she was sitting on a low chair in the hallway. I walked up, stood in front of her and asked if she was ready to go. She jokingly said, I'm always ready. I chuckled and being the goof that I am, undid my pants and pulled out my cock, saying something like, you want this first? Her mouth was on it in a second as I enjoyed another one of her amazing BJs. I busted in her mouth and she swallowed every drop as she always does.

We headed to our friend's place then made our way to the concert. There I was sitting with her and her husband to my right enjoying the show. Knowing she had my load in her tummy made the concert much more enjoyable. LOL

 

[Kurt]

I once dated a girls who didn't like vaginal penetration and gave a terrible BJ. I actually fell asleep during one. So I told her I had a fetish for HJ, so that is how she would finish me off. she actually became really good at it and even bought special oil for it.

 

[star003]

Further to my post #24. Another time at the same cottage. While a couple friends were down the dock, my wife and I and our friend's wife were the kitchen enjoying a beverage. My wife says, she's going to take a shower. As soon as we hear the water running, our friend grabs my cock through my shorts and leads me downstairs to the laundry room which is directly below the shower. She drops to her knees, unties the drawstring, pulls down my shorts and starts to give me an amazing BJ. I've had so many from her over the years and she never disappoints. Not knowing how long my wife was going to be in the shower, I was in a hurry to pop. Good thing was, we could hear the water running so we'd know when she was getting out.

After a couple minutes, I unloaded in her mouth and she swallowed every drop, as she always does. Now she was super horny so she pulled her shorts off and sat on the washing machine. I went down on her delicious bald pussy, teasing her big clit while I finger fucked her. It never takes much to make her cum and this time was no exception. She had a shivering orgasm and left a little puddle on top of the washer. My only concern is she's quite vocal. I had to keep telling her to be quiet. She hopped down and put her shorts back on. I grabbed a cloth to wipe off the washer, but she said not, leave it. With that mischievous grin of hers. We rushed back upstairs to the kitchen and grab our drinks. My wife emerges from the shower and our friend says to her, that was a long shower. To which my wife says, I shaved my pussy. We all start laughing and as I look down, I notice the draw string on my shorts are undone. Thankfully my wife didn't notice.

Ended up having amazing morning sex with my wife and her freshly shaved pussy the next day.

like many others i am also thinking if these happened in real or u are a fantastic story writer. but in any case, u succeeds to raise the temperature. it’s hot and erotic.

 

[GameBoy27]

like many others i am also thinking if these happened in real or u are a fantastic story writer. but in any case, u succeeds to raise the temperature. it’s hot and erotic.

Thank you, I get a woody when I recount my sexcapades. These are 100% real life experiences. It's easy to recount and write stories when they actually happened. But I could see how some might think I made them up. Making up stories seems pointless to me though. If it didn't happen, why make stuff up?

 

[oral.com]

I once took a girl to Starbucks, because I forgot her name…

Mulva?

 

[star003]

Thank you, I get a woody when I recount my sexcapades. These are 100% real life experiences. It's easy to recount and write stories when they actually happened. But I could see how some might think I made them up. Making up stories seems pointless to me though. If it didn't happen, why make stuff up?

don’t mind..we r just being jealous of ur experiences..a little bit if not too much..

 

[star003]

back in my early college days, i had to stay at one of my distant cousin’s place for 2 months. she was married and beautiful. those 2 months were the hardest as a teenager and till date there is a mix of guilt and excitement in the mind.
had so many sleepless nights hearing her soft moans in the middle of night. few odd instances, had a glimpse of her naked body while she changing clothes. didn’t hv the guts back then to make the further move so had to just get relaxed with self help.

 

[Gntlmn1]

The scent of a woman - clean hair, perfume, under arm, body spray on her breasts and stomach, - and there was one other which I cannot seem to remember right now.....

 

[Doctor Zoidburg]

I had anal sex with my GFs friend. Later that evening I was with my GF and she wanted sex.
I resisted and she asked me why. I told her I was all sweaty and she really does not want to have sex with a sweaty stinky guy. She said that I was not that sweaty and stinky and started to tear at my clothes , I had to give in. She was soon sucking on my dick that had been in her friends pooper.

 

[Prelations2]

I used to go to movies with a friend and then one time we somehow got horny and I was fingering her during the movie over and over till she tapped out. Then after the movie she acted like nothing happened.
We never talked about it , but then movie after movie I would continue to finger her for the whole movie over and over. Like 10 cums for her, and then not talk about it. She played it off with “what happens in the movies stays in the movies”. So movies were almost like a commando green light.

After a while it was almost like second nature to finger her while watching movies. Then I tried to see if she’d cum during action scenes , scary scenes etc. Nothing stopped her. She was polite enough to try to reciprocate with a HJ but I can’t finish that way, so nbd.

I love going to the movies, so this was like a once a week thing. Good times.

 

[star003]

I used to go to movies with a friend and then one time we somehow got horny and I was fingering her during the movie over and over till she tapped out. Then after the movie she acted like nothing happened.
We never talked about it , but then movie after movie I would continue to finger her for the whole movie over and over. Like 10 cums for her, and then not talk about it. She played it off with “what happens in the movies stays in the movies”. So movies were almost like a commando green light.

After a while it was almost like second nature to finger her while watching movies. Then I tried to see if she’d cum during action scenes , scary scenes etc. Nothing stopped her. She was polite enough to try to reciprocate with a HJ but I can’t finish that way, so nbd.

I love going to the movies, so this was like a once a week thing. Good times.

exciting…hope u aware even in that darkness, the cameras inside see everything..

 

[Valcazar]

Cheese curds (the squikie ones).

See - this is a simple guilty pleasure.
Most of these confessions are not of guilty pleasures.

White Cheddar Popcorn - I will just eat a whole bag at once.

 

[Spunky1]

Eating all the marshmallows out of the box of lucky charms and leaving the rest of the crap cereal for everyone else.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

Been watching Coronation Street since the days when Ena Sharples was having a milk stout in the snug with her two buddies.

 

[y2kmark]

I cheated on a girl and knocked the other girl up
I tell people I know Pauly Shore, that's a lie, I don't know why I do that.
I borrow people's chapstick and nose hair trimmers without asking
I bought a girl a cubic zirconium ring, told her it was diamond.
Killed her goldfish, just replaced it with another.
Threw up on a dog last time I had too much to drink
Peed in the sink
Used another person's toothbrush to clean the bathroom tile grout
I like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick
My boss thinks I am a jerk didn't get that raise
Haven't changed my underwear in 27 days
When I kiss anyone, I pretend she is a midget
If I drop buttered toast on the floor, I still serve it
Oh, that's not a cold sore
I return gifts for store credit
I pretend to be sick to avoid going to stupid office picnics
I've pretended to be out of cereal when we had enough for me only
I've wiped my nose on a cat
Yes, that dress does make you look fat

I don't know why I don't get more chicks, it's a complete and utter mystery.

I hear that Jimmy Carr uses his partners toothbrush, I mean if you know a better way of getting dog shit off your trainers, I'd like to hear it.

Class act all the way around...

 

[NotADcotor]

I bought some Trix cereal even though I am obviously not a child. To be fair I was told by the cashier that Trix just for kids was not a legal requirement and I was not to be followed. It did not end well for me.

Also I once stole a comedic bit from the movie Ted 2.