Chronically late people

[sempel]

Is it just me or does it seem like most of the people you deal with are chronically late. I went to pick up a friend so we could catch a train. I arrived 3 min early, we left 6 min after the scheduled pickup time and missed the train. A family member has an appointment and decides to chat up someone and go late for the appointment. I carpool a lot with family for long distance trips and more often than not, one or two people are late.

Now, besides the fact that these individuals are tardy, some of them really don't give a shit. The friend didn't care - "we'll catch the next one" - but now we are waiting and we arrive late for the ballgame. The family member didn't care about going late - he figured he was a client and the person can wait.

This shit bothers me big time. If I go late for something, I'm missing out. If you are late for an appointment, chances are you now delay future appointments - I had to wait 30 min for my haircut because the person before was late. And clearly this last thing is prevalent when seeing ladies (it can be the client or the lady mind you).

 

[1HandInMyPocket]

2 options, first which is what many people do, you give an earlier meet up time then you would have with a person who would respect the schedule. Second, with your family car pool. Change it so the tardy ones are in one car pool group, the other with you.

I had a friend when I pick him up, he was never ready. The times when he picked me up, he'd expect me to ready as soon as he pulled up. I called him out on it, but nothing really changed. When we meet up at a common location, I learned to take a more laid back position with him, so I would sometimes just show up late.

 

[jcpro]

Is it just me or does it seem like most of the people you deal with are chronically late. I went to pick up a friend so we could catch a train. I arrived 3 min early, we left 6 min after the scheduled pickup time and missed the train. A family member has an appointment and decides to chat up someone and go late for the appointment. I carpool a lot with family for long distance trips and more often than not, one or two people are late.

Now, besides the fact that these individuals are tardy, some of them really don't give a shit. The friend didn't care - "we'll catch the next one" - but now we are waiting and we arrive late for the ballgame. The family member didn't care about going late - he figured he was a client and the person can wait.

This shit bothers me big time. If I go late for something, I'm missing out. If you are late for an appointment, chances are you now delay future appointments - I had to wait 30 min for my haircut because the person before was late. And clearly this last thing is prevalent when seeing ladies (it can be the client or the lady mind you).

Ditto!! I can't stand people who are late. I take it as a personal sign of disrespect toward me.

 

[black booty lover]

I'll answer this later.

 

[corrie fan]

This is one reason why I like to travel alone.

 

[barnacler]

You have to learn to just walk.

Take the train and go to the game by yourself. GIVE the other ticker to some random person outside the stadium. Carpool with who is there and leave the other person to find their own way.

Be sure to let them know in advance your policy, to the minute, then FOLLOW THROUGH.

Do not give them an extra second, do not reposnd to exts saying " I am almost there", "traffic bad, running lste" etc etc et fucking cetera. Tell them they must make allowances for traiffic.

The real problem, is not that they WANT to be late, but that they want to cut it really close so that they are not early.

They leave no 'margin'.

Tell them it won' t kill them to be early. I am sure they make the flight for their long-awaited vacation.

 

[malata]

I'll answer this later.

you're late, still waiting for your answer

 

[kherg007]

Date Caribbean or african american ladies...you'll get used to it...lol..and they're worth it..(Canadian ebony ladies tend to be acceptably punctual)

 

[sempel]

You have to learn to just walk.

Take the train and go to the game by yourself. GIVE the other ticker to some random person outside the stadium. Carpool with who is there and leave the other person to find their own way.

Be sure to let them know in advance your policy, to the minute, then FOLLOW THROUGH.

Do not give them an extra second, do not reposnd to exts saying " I am almost there", "traffic bad, running lste" etc etc et fucking cetera. Tell them they must make allowances for traiffic.

The real problem, is not that they WANT to be late, but that they want to cut it really close so that they are not early.

They leave no 'margin'.

Tell them it won' t kill them to be early. I am sure they make the flight for their long-awaited vacation.

In the case of the sporting event, the late guy supplied the tickets (for free).

I'm actually the type of guy who wants to arrive right on time but I know the traffic situation for most things so I know when I need to leave.

What it comes down to is there is no real consequence for the other people. They don't feel embarrassed to be late. They have no issue going late for weddings, funerals, parties, haircuts, or anything else where they can get in. They'll cut it close for flights. But for most things in life, you can show up late and still be serviced. If doors were locked for late arrivals, they'd be f'cked. But, for things like work, they are surprisingly punctual but of course, being late has consequences.

I've taken to going solo for short distance drives. But it's going to be costly to do this for long distance drives. You accept the 30-60 min that you are going to be late.

 

[kkelso]

I dated a woman in her early 20s who still lived with her father, a former special forces guy (I'm unsure of which branch). He had the best way of parenting against this that I'd ever seen. He had three daughters.

As an example, on Saturday night he would say "the car is leaving for church at 7:30 in the morning". The next morning he would be in the car at 7:25 or so, ready to go. At 7:30 on the dot he would drive off. Didn't matter if you were drying your hair, didn't matter if there was a power outage and you woke up late, didn't matter if you were running down the driveway, didn't matter if you were 7 years old. He left and went to church without you.

To hear his daughters tell it, there was nothing worse than that wait for him to come home from something you'd missed. He would leave you there all day. That the wait was worse than any punishment.

His daughter, a hot college grad student, was never late for anything with me. Never. Parenting.

KK

 

[MissCroft]

I admit that I used to be one of those people. Late for everything and didn't really care. But when I realized how much it was upsetting people I have been trying my best to be punctual.

However, things still sometimes do happen that you can't control. Traffic, transit is slow, or some other problem/delay. It happens.

 

[managee]

My dad was a very punctual man. Kept his clocks 3 minutes fast to further ensure a lack of tardiness in all that he did. I walked in his footsteps, and then even married a person with that same penchant for timeliness. This led to a lot of stress in their lives, and daily disappointment when others didn’t play by their rules.

I’m rarely if ever late thanks to them (and now Google Maps), but thanks to a lot of time living abroad in places where time is almost always an approximate, sweating this too much is a losing battle for the anal.

I give myself enough time to not need to rush between appointments and deadlines, I assume things will happen beyond my control to make others late, or to delay my own routes or scheduling, but I don’t necessarily expect others to do the same.

The exception to this is in my workplace and in the corporate world in-general. I’m not sure I want someone working for me that doesn’t respect “my time” as he/she/they may not respect a client’s time.

Kherg007’s statement seems a bit racist to me, but may genuinely be his experience. I’ve dated, worked for or hired enough West-Indian, African or black Canadian women to know I can’t paint “them” all by the same brush.

But “island time” is a real thing in a lot of the world. A couple weeks ago I watched two women flip out waiting for a coffee shop to open. “The sign says 7 and it’s almost 7:15.” Locals and ex-pats just laugh at “those” people.

Different culture, different rhythm.

I’ve missed trains, first pitches, flights, ferries, reservations and more thanks to late people in my life, and I can’t say I would care to change them. I absolutely love the people in my life who care about tardiness a degree less than my father and ex-wife did. Their chill is part of their charm.

 

[Jasmine Raine]

There are those of us who are always on time or even ahead of time. Those of us who are in the middle. Usually on time but late occasionally and then those of us who are always late.

I think I am in middle.

However, those who are anally on time, ugh. They drive me nuts. The "having to leave 30 mins early" because of possible traffic, and you may hit all the red lights, and a cat may run out into the road, and the sky might fall and if we are late by 2 minutes, one person in a crowd of thousands may find out and not like us! OMG!!!!!

I find people in this category also have to do everything by time. Dinner is a 5pm only. Not 5:15. If you are going out for dinner, you have to be seated and eating at 5pm, so you have to leave for dinner at like 4 pm because there may be a line up and that fucking cat is in the road again and the waitress may be slow, and the food may take longer so better leave at 3:45 to be safe.......

Then those who are always late, double Ugh! Because of course their life and their goings-on are so much more important than your time. However, for those people, I always give them the time limit of say 4 pm when I want to leave at 4:30. So they are a little easier to deal with.

I would not be bitching over 5-6 mins late, however. And if that little bit of time being late would make you miss an event or a train or whatever, then you are cutting it too close and didn't plan it very well at all.

The general rule is 15 minutes. Even in this industry. Allow for 15 minutes of delay. The person can be 5 minutes late, and accident can happen in front you that takes extra time to get around and that fucking cat - well you know.....

What is that saying? "You are on time if you are early, you are late if you are on time." I like that saying. Works for me.

 

[kherg007]

My dad was a very punctual man. Kept his clocks 3 minutes fast to further ensure a lack of tardiness in all that he did. I walked in his footsteps, and then even married a person with that same penchant for timeliness. This led to a lot of stress in their lives, and daily disappointment when others didn’t play by their rules.

I’m rarely if ever late thanks to them (and now Google Maps), but thanks to a lot of time living abroad in places where time is almost always an approximate, sweating this too much is a losing battle for the anal.

I give myself enough time to not need to rush between appointments and deadlines, I assume things will happen beyond my control to make others late, or to delay my own routes or scheduling, but I don’t necessarily expect others to do the same.

The exception to this is in my workplace and in the corporate world in-general. I’m not sure I want someone working for me that doesn’t respect “my time” as he/she/they may not respect a client’s time.

Kherg007’s statement seems a bit racist to me, but may genuinely be his experience. I’ve dated, worked for or hired enough West-Indian, African or black Canadian women to know I can’t paint “them” all by the same brush.

But “island time” is a real thing in a lot of the world. A couple weeks ago I watched two women flip out waiting for a coffee shop to open. “The sign says 7 and it’s almost 7:15.” Locals and ex-pats just laugh at “those” people.

Different culture, different rhythm.

I’ve missed trains, first pitches, flights, ferries, reservations and more thanks to late people in my life, and I can’t say I would care to change them. I absolutely love the people in my life who care about tardiness a degree less than my father and ex-wife did. Their chill is part of their charm.

Not racist but based on personal experience. And cultural norms. And trying to be funny. The women I've loved (mainly ebony in USA or UK or australia) were all like that with the only exception an army officer. For her it was military time, so if you show up for a 4pm appointment at 3:59pm you were 9 minutes late. Of course I don't think anatomy is destiny, again see comments about the Canadian lovelies. Also spending some time in Latin America or Sicily will open ones eyes as far as punctuality goes too. You do learn the rhythms of life in those places after a bit and it can be nice.

 

[K Douglas]

As my Mom always used to say "you'll be late for your own funeral"

 

[Occasionally]

Late people generally fall into a few categories:

1. Fashionably late. They never want to be the first to a meeting, first to a party, first for dinner. They want to arrive when the get together is in full swing

]2. Unprepared. You'd think all they have to do is do whatever they need to do 20 minutes earlier, but they never do. Procrastinators. IMO, the people who fall into this categories (many friends/fam come to mind), are generally naive or half-idiots. The same type of people who don't plan when it's heavy rain or snow, and who show up an hour late because some reason they think driving in bad weather takes the same time as dry sunny weather. And during winter, they can't believe it that you might need to get up early to shovel the snow before driving to work

3. They don't care. They show up when they feel like it. Has nothing to do with planning, or being fashionably late or anything

4. I find Asians usually spot on time, Latino almost always late, Whites/Blacks somewhere in the middle. And no doubt women are more often late than guys

 

[Occasionally]

My dad was a very punctual man. Kept his clocks 3 minutes fast to further ensure a lack of tardiness in all that he did. I walked in his footsteps, and then even married a person with that same penchant for timeliness. This led to a lot of stress in their lives, and daily disappointment when others didn’t play by their rules.

I’m rarely if ever late thanks to them (and now Google Maps), but thanks to a lot of time living abroad in places where time is almost always an approximate, sweating this too much is a losing battle for the anal.

I give myself enough time to not need to rush between appointments and deadlines, I assume things will happen beyond my control to make others late, or to delay my own routes or scheduling, but I don’t necessarily expect others to do the same.

The exception to this is in my workplace and in the corporate world in-general. I’m not sure I want someone working for me that doesn’t respect “my time” as he/she/they may not respect a client’s time.

Kherg007’s statement seems a bit racist to me, but may genuinely be his experience. I’ve dated, worked for or hired enough West-Indian, African or black Canadian women to know I can’t paint “them” all by the same brush.

But “island time” is a real thing in a lot of the world. A couple weeks ago I watched two women flip out waiting for a coffee shop to open. “The sign says 7 and it’s almost 7:15.” Locals and ex-pats just laugh at “those” people.

Different culture, different rhythm.

I’ve missed trains, first pitches, flights, ferries, reservations and more thanks to late people in my life, and I can’t say I would care to change them. I absolutely love the people in my life who care about tardiness a degree less than my father and ex-wife did. Their chill is part of their charm.

I'm rarely late for anything. Never been late or missed anything like interviews, flights, movies etc.... And only one time late for a sporting event because I had to pick up someone, and spent lots of time circling parking lots because many were full and I had to backtrack and drive streets I wasn't familiar with. Missed the first 10 minutes of the game, when I thought I'd be 10-20 minutes early.

I set my alarm clock 10 minutes fast. But the rest of my stuff is kept normal time. It's a weird thing because I know it's set fast on purpose, but it still works.

 

[trucker269]

NEVER been accused of being late...in fact I would rather be an hour early than 1 minute late..........sometimes I pick my wife up after work, she works till 3 PM...if she hasn't come out of her place of employment by 310 I will leave she walks home.........there is NO excuse for being late

 

[Keebler Elf]

You have to be willing to exact consequences for lateness. Assuming it matters. Someone being 3 minutes late where there were no consequences should be treated differently then when their lateness causes you grief.

Just start leaving without them. I did this to a friend who was routinely late and after a couple times he got the message. And if they don't, so what? There will always be people who hold you back in life. You just need to be a real alpha male and show said people you don't give a fuck about them and if they can't get there on time that's their problem.

I remember one time a friend missed a Blue Jays game because we left without him. He wanted his money back and we said go fuck yourself, could have gotten to the game on your own and we'd have brought his ticket down. He couldn't be bothered so neither could we. We're no longer friends but I'm better off for it. Cut those parasites out of your life, the sooner the better.

 

[IRIS]

As my Mom always used to say "you'll be late for your own funeral"

And Elizabeth Taylor did it. The start of Elizabeth Taylor's funeral was delayed after the film star left instructions requesting that her coffin should arrive 15 minutes late. She had a style.

In private life I don't like people who rob time from my life. I think it is selfish and egoistic. Little different in the business, but if you late I except a text or a call about it.