I've been outed once, but nothing happened to me. My situation is different. I've been single for the majority of my life so I'm independent. My mom knew cause I told her and now my sister knows. I've often told a few friends and past co-workers who share the same values.
Being Outed
- Thread starter Marla
- Start date
I was outed many years ago, at first my parents hated me, now they finally accept what i do. It takes time for them to come around. Sorry to hear what happened between you and your dad. Infact i'm closer with my parents now and i'm relieved i don't have to hide it .
My understanding is that it wasn't done with bad intentions but out of ignorance of the consequences of his actions in the real world.
It happened to me twice and I don't share much info with members I haven't met personally outside of this board. I only share inside info with 3 members whom we meet occasionally for golf , dinner and such. Cannot trust anyone in here. One agency tried to out me as well. I am single and nothing to worry about being outed so I gave him the exact address when he posted it wrong.
Nothing? What if she was a serial killer? Or she killed her own children? You would not disown her? I guess you're a better person than me.
Loving a a person doesn't mean that you have to agree with everything they do or decision they make. Nor does it mean that you can't be hurt by what they do.
I don't know when the right time is, but there is a time that you need to let go and walk away. But it doesn't mean you stop loving them.
Sometimes though, this is when they need your support the most, Just like Marla!!!
Viggo, if you are thinking of what I believe you are, you are thinking of the person who gave the information which enabled the evil person to make the connection and then attempt the outing (and I would wholeheartedly agree with you about what they did and their intention, in fact that person did it out of respect and grief and the belief that we are a community of adults with a shared confidential part of our lives).
The person who attempted the outing on the other hand did so deliberately and with malice! Further, need it be said a total betrayal of any sense that these boards are a community which will "keep secret all matters committed and revealed unto you on these boards."
It was a tough lesson for all of us here at that time, that there are people particularly lurkers who shouldn't be touched with a barge pole, and that we have to keep that in mind!
It still makes me both angry and sad to this day!
I really do not like the actions of your father, what the fuck ?
You are his daughter.
I find that the 'really close' parent/offspring relationships cannot not handle something like this.
This clown that outed you Marla, forgive, do not forgive ... whatever, do not waste anymore time on them ... either one of them(the outer or your father)
My advice ...
to the outer, give the forgiveness and move on.
to dad, send cards on occasions(birthday, Christmas, etc), but do not call.
Maybe a bit of the relationship(or lack there of) with my father is shining through a bit.
That's such a nasty thing to do. I don't blame you for being angry with her still. Hopefully your dad will become a little more understanding as time goes by. Is he religious? Certainly you have nothing to be ashamed of. People's opinions change at the speed of a snail it seems sometimes. Hopefully we become much more liberated in the future.
Mikehorn
Govt Designated Pervert
Yes, but this normally happens to children who weren't properly cared for. Also I wouldn't catigorize escorting as a crime either, maybe more of a moral issue for the parents
which should never get in the way, of love for their children.
Sure. Perhaps I'm focused on religion as a driving force simply because that seems to be the case with gays/lesbians coming out and summarily being disowned by their parents. It could be that Marla's father simply has a strong "moral" code, from whatever background.
Something doesn't seem to add up right here. Maybe he was angry at having been duped and lied to for years? I can't see myself ever disowning any family member unless they caused serious harm to another loved one. But some people aren't as forgiving as I am.
I do believe, there is a tremendous amount of honour in the male Swedes and If I'm not mistaken, I believe Marla, you expressed you were Swedish.
Reason why I know, my ex best male friend for years, was Swedish, I don't want to go into any details here, other than to say we don't speak anymore.
