Beating the addiction

[swanky]

I was once addicted to this hobby for 6 years. Ended up falling in love with MPs and SPs. Lost tons of money. Lost my sanity. It was a devastating experience.

All the carnal pleasures which I was so smug about at the time feels cheap and vulgar.

It's been two years since I saw a sex worker of any kind.

I met a wonderful woman who I fell in love with. She doesn't know my past. My past still haunts me.

If I could do it all over again, I would not have started this hobby. You can make back the lost money but my soul still feels bruised and empty.

It will be a long journey back to my more innocent past.

 

[franci]

I was once addicted to this hobby for 6 years. Ended up falling in love with MPs and SPs. Lost tons of money. Lost my sanity. It was a devastating experience.

All the carnal pleasures which I was so smug about at the time feels cheap and vulgar.

It's been two years since I saw a sex worker of any kind.

I met a wonderful woman who I fell in love with. She doesn't know my past. My past still haunts me.

If I could do it all over again, I would not have started this hobby. You can make back the lost money but my soul still feels bruised and empty.

It will be a long journey back to my more innocent past.

You are spending far too much time dwelling on your past. What is done is done. Move on and don't look back.

 

[Spacealien2]

Delete your account. Get married and raise beautiful children.

 

[xmontrealer]

Delete your account. Get married and raise beautiful children.

This!

Why are you still on Terb? Break the connection to your past and move on in with what seems like a wonderful opportunity to forget the unhappy past and have a great future!

If you stay on Terb you will be like a recovering alcoholic who still insists on taking a little sip of booze now and again.

 

[swanky]

This!

Why are you still on Terb? Break the connection to your past and move on in with what seems like a wonderful opportunity to forget the unhappy past and have a great future!

If you stay on Terb you will be like a recovering alcoholic who still insists on taking a little sip of booze now and again.

Yes, I don't intend to stay here.

I came back online to share my story if only because it may resonate with others. There is hope and all is not lost even when you've hit rock bottom.

 

[xmontrealer]

Yes, I don't intend to stay here.

I came back online to share my story if only because it may resonate with others. There is hope and all is not lost even when you've hit rock bottom.

Very best wishes! I sincerely hope it all works out for you.

 

[Terminator2000]

I was once addicted to this hobby for 6 years. Ended up falling in love with MPs and SPs. Lost tons of money. Lost my sanity. It was a devastating experience.

All the carnal pleasures which I was so smug about at the time feels cheap and vulgar.

It's been two years since I saw a sex worker of any kind.

I met a wonderful woman who I fell in love with. She doesn't know my past. My past still haunts me.

If I could do it all over again, I would not have started this hobby. You can make back the lost money but my soul still feels bruised and empty.

It will be a long journey back to my more innocent past

and yet, the irony is...youre still on a forum site dedicated to sex workers...

 

[huckfinn]

and yet, the irony is...youre still on a forum site dedicated to sex workers...

Perhaps its a different addiction....

 

[swanky]

I'll avoid the "why are you still on this site?" questions and try to ask something more constructive.

How were you able to finally quit? I've tried before and gone back every time. I wouldn't say it's an
addiction, but it's certainly a compulsion, and I bet a lot of other guys can relate.

Also, do you still feel tempted? Or has that chapter just completely closed and you're moving on?

Thanks in advance!

Quiting by the sheer will is nearly impossible. My life was nearly destroyed by it so it was reality imposing itself on me and not the other way around.

It would seem that temptation has disappeared, mainly because I no longer seem to have the insatiable sex drive. Again, it can't take any credit for it.

Many people here can hobby without getting into trouble, not unlike the way social drinkers deal with alcohol. But for few of us, it can be devastating.

 

[Misty4me]

I was once addicted to this hobby for 6 years. Ended up falling in love with MPs and SPs. Lost tons of money. Lost my sanity. It was a devastating experience.

All the carnal pleasures which I was so smug about at the time feels cheap and vulgar.

It's been two years since I saw a sex worker of any kind.

I met a wonderful woman who I fell in love with. She doesn't know my past. My past still haunts me.

If I could do it all over again, I would not have started this hobby. You can make back the lost money but my soul still feels bruised and empty.

It will be a long journey back to my more innocent past.

Good for you for the last 2 years !

A true addict never beats the addiction , you have to accept that you are capable of falling at any time that's why its called recovering . Its a day by day recovery , taking it a day at a time you get thru that day without giving into your addiction and do the same the next day . In 12 step programs they encourage you to write down the ways you have hurt yourself and others then crumble the paper up or rip it into pieces and throw it away when you do this it means you throw away those destructive feelings , repeat when they creep up as time passes your cheap and vulgar feeling will lessen and your past can no longer haunt you !

Remember if your always looking behind you cant move forward . Physically try to look behind you while walking forward you cant do it without having to periodically turning your head to see where your going . This exercise will help put into perspective what your putting yourself through so why not just look forward and focus on where your going its a much more secure feeling to be watching what's in front of you then worrying about what's behind . Life is about experience your past cant be changed , you learned from it and now want to conquer your addiction and move on .

I think your approaching it in the wrong way and that might be why your having such a hard time and feeling bruised and empty . Don't go back to your more innocent past but rather journey into a new and present future that you control and you can look back on and be proud of . Let go of the negative energy and replace it with a new fun and exciting journey in your new relationship , make her your focus and you'll have a purpose driven life !

Hope this helps ?

Misty

 

[spaman]

Good for you for the last 2 years !

A true addict never beats the addiction , you have to accept that you are capable of falling at any time that's why its called recovering . Its a day by day recovery , taking it a day at a time you get thru that day without giving into your addiction and do the same the next day . In 12 step programs they encourage you to write down the ways you have hurt yourself and others then crumble the paper up or rip it into pieces and throw it away when you do this it means you throw away those destructive feelings , repeat when they creep up as time passes your cheap and vulgar feeling will lessen and your past can no longer haunt you !

Remember if your always looking behind you can move forward . Physically try to look behind you while walking forward you cant do it without having to periodically turning your head to see where your going . This exercise will help put into perspective what your putting yourself through so why not just look forward and focus on where your going its a much more secure feeling to be watching what's in front of you then worrying about what's behind . Life is about experience your past cant be changed , you learned from it and now want to conquer your addiction and move on .

I think your approaching it in the wrong way and that might be why your having such a hard time and feeling bruised and empty . Don't go back to your more innocent past but rather journey into a new and present future that you control and you can look back on and be proud of . Let go of the negative energy and replace it with a new fun and exciting journey in your new relationship , make her your focus and you'll have a purpose driven life !

Hope this helps ?

Misty

I enjoy this hobby as I enjoy all my other hobbies. it make me a better husband. I'm free of any guilt or any addiction. Thanks for sharing, hope you get clean

 

[SchlongConery]

Good for you for the last 2 years !

A true addict never beats the addiction , you have to accept that you are capable of falling at any time that's why its called recovering . Its a day by day recovery , taking it a day at a time you get thru that day without giving into your addiction and do the same the next day . In 12 step programs they encourage you to write down the ways you have hurt yourself and others then crumble the paper up or rip it into pieces and throw it away when you do this it means you throw away those destructive feelings , repeat when they creep up as time passes your cheap and vulgar feeling will lessen and your past can no longer haunt you !

Remember if your always looking behind you can move forward . Physically try to look behind you while walking forward you cant do it without having to periodically turning your head to see where your going . This exercise will help put into perspective what your putting yourself through so why not just look forward and focus on where your going its a much more secure feeling to be watching what's in front of you then worrying about what's behind . Life is about experience your past cant be changed , you learned from it and now want to conquer your addiction and move on .

I think your approaching it in the wrong way and that might be why your having such a hard time and feeling bruised and empty . Don't go back to your more innocent past but rather journey into a new and present future that you control and you can look back on and be proud of . Let go of the negative energy and replace it with a new fun and exciting journey in your new relationship , make her your focus and you'll have a purpose driven life !

Hope this helps ?

Misty

Incredible wisdom Misty. Incredible. And so well expressed.

I know someone with another problem that this advice will help. I will try to translate it into their circumstances and sahre it with them. Thanks for taking the time to write it!

 

[silk123]

Being on Terb can be a trigger, there are lots of sex addicts on this board in denial. I hobbied for over 20 years (strip clubs, massage parlors, escorts), blew a ton of money. I have not hobbied now for over 5 years. Do I miss it or are there temptations - you bet there are, my life is much healthier without hobbying, I don't have to sneak around everyday.

Spaman says "he enjoy this hobby as I enjoy all my other hobbies. it make me a better husband. I'm free of any guilt or any addiction. Thanks for sharing, hope you get clean", I wonder how his wife feels about his hobbying.

 

[Sugar-D]

Good to hear.

Now stop living backwards.

You only have a limited amount of time don't waste it here.

 

[rhuarc29]

I hobby a lot less than I used to. In the last 6 months, I've seen two SPs, one MPA, and been to two strip clubs. That's a far cry from where I was in 2015, where I was doing one of the three atleast two times a week.

What changed? I wasn't enjoying it as much. They tend to be shallow experiences, even when you connect with someone. Plus the value just isn't there. I was spending $400 - $600 a week on the hobby...money that I've recently been putting towards far more worthwhile items, like travel, tangible assets, or investments.

There may come a time when my interest is renewed, but for now I'm enjoying having a heavier wallet.

OP, congrats on getting away from the addiction. I wouldn't let your past haunt you; there's nothing wrong with hobbying and so there's no reason to feel guilt. Live in the present, and just be faithful to this special woman in your life.

 

[james t kirk]

I'm surprised no one has said it yet.