I think it was mentioned already but.. Do you know her real name? Do you have her actual phone number or her work number? These girls are smarter than you think and can see easy money from a mile away and might be playing with your heart. Only way to know is to ask her straight out for dinner, off the clock and stress zero expectations. If she says to come see her first, then you know her answer. I'd block her if that's the case.
Balancing a crush on an SP
- Thread starter Mangoman0052
- Start date
You don't say.
Most likely you dodged a bullet. Most aren't worth actually dating and I don't mean that in a rude way. It's like some women who date the bad boy types or something then constantly complain they can't find a decent guy or someone established and stable to a certain degree. It's a weird cycle of drama, trauma and other stuff. Most are use to being with certain types of people and meeting someone "better" to certain degree brings fear to them. And most people in general even if someone has money don't want that feeling of being owned or so or where they feel the guy has some sort of control. You're most likely better off finding someone with a stable job but that's not to say things eventually wouldn't end. A few guys in this hobbying who've gone through some relationship stuff much rather just pay for the time and bounce because of what happened with them.
Personally with anyone if you're starting to develop feelings even through constant chat sessions and such it's best to cut it quick and ask the person out and see what the answer is and take it from there. You could always just end up being friends or something than in a relationship which can still be good. Rejection is a part of life and people shrug it and move on. You're not crazy or weird for asking or feeling that way since we are all humans and things happen even just by texting someone. Most of the time though with a SP it's just part of her business tactic. If I was a chick in this line of business I'd string people along too, but of course not in a mean or evil way but in a business sense. People blow money by getting scammed at times by online gurus or other sales folks online and that's on them for sending that money or falling for some like meme coin. And unfortunately, there are lonely old men who sometimes fall for it but if you got the money to burn then do whatever and enjoy life.
If you can still handle seeing the SP and remind yourself not to get all caught up then stick with it or move on. I've ghosted people in my life I've encountered IRL and online and vice versa. Learn to move forward and you'll have less mental stuff to deal with.
Personally with anyone if you're starting to develop feelings even through constant chat sessions and such it's best to cut it quick and ask the person out and see what the answer is and take it from there. You could always just end up being friends or something than in a relationship which can still be good. Rejection is a part of life and people shrug it and move on. You're not crazy or weird for asking or feeling that way since we are all humans and things happen even just by texting someone. Most of the time though with a SP it's just part of her business tactic. If I was a chick in this line of business I'd string people along too, but of course not in a mean or evil way but in a business sense. People blow money by getting scammed at times by online gurus or other sales folks online and that's on them for sending that money or falling for some like meme coin. And unfortunately, there are lonely old men who sometimes fall for it but if you got the money to burn then do whatever and enjoy life.
If you can still handle seeing the SP and remind yourself not to get all caught up then stick with it or move on. I've ghosted people in my life I've encountered IRL and online and vice versa. Learn to move forward and you'll have less mental stuff to deal with.
It's like I always say every time this topic comes up, I have ladies I'm quite fond of and who I like to think enjoy my company, as well as retired ladies I miss, but at the end of the day, I'm realistic about the nature of our relationship.
Read my signature below and live by that and you won't get hurt.
Dude she's an actress had a similar situation. They have 2 phones a private one and a business one. Found that all she needs an excuse to finally block you!
Most 99% are users to get something extra out of you eventually. Just part of their business to string you along as far as possible. Break it because you will receive nothing but a heart ache!!
I have a MPa I see maybe once a month. She is what I like for a sex toy. Her English is not great but I have a soft spot for her.I like older ones and I am kind and respectful to them but when the action starts I want what I want. Now recently she offered me her phone number and it's not the first or second time that has happened to me over the years. I would never ask for it. I like a little texting to check in occasionally or tee up an appointment. Having said all that I think they like to keep you coming back and that's there hook. It is competitive in the milfy Chinese MP game and they get bored sitting around so they don't mind getting a few texts to fill in there days. Actually seriously date a MPA absolutely no way...that is silliness to think a piece of ass is going to sustain a relationship unless maybe if she was low maintenance and a happy subservient partner.
Has she dropped any hints at all she might be interested? Also, are you a 5 and she's an 8, are you 55 and she's 25? What is the reality of this even being remotely possible of happening?
I've said several versions of the following in the strip club forum over the years, but it applies to a person's relationship with all sex workers: What most of us ultimately have with our preferred providers are friendly transactional relationships. Most of our lives are filled with friendly tranactional relationships of various types. That doesn't make them not 'real', but ultimately they are what they are.
I think sexual contact, and often a lack of relationship experience (sometimes combined with the odd sex worker hustling a guy), gets things mixed up in some clients' heads. I like it when I actually like a provider I see. I like to think that I am at least likeable in return. After that I tend to chalk everything else up to participating in a friendly transactional relationship and keep things professional, even on the very odd occasion where there may have been a faint glimmer of something more.
If you're feeling brave, and don't mind the potential of messing up something good, then you can try to transition that relationship 'something more'. I'm not going to say that it never works, but this board is filled with horror stories and bitter guys who tried just that. Assuming you don't blow up a perfectly good transactional relationship I'd strongly suggest not blowing up your life, clear and firm boundaries, and legally covering your ass.
Turn around and run away, and keep running. If you stop to reconsider, punch yourself in the nuts and get running.
Polyamory is growing in acceptance. A pretty young sex worker (yes, even semi legit massage workers are sex workers) with a good personality will have many men of all ages hoping to get personal with her.
And it does happen. But please do not be under the illusion that you are the only one. If you do get her number and are texting off the clock, which leads to meeting for drinks and perhaps a "free" hookup
do not fall in love. Take it as an ego boost. And know that other men have reached that level with her as well. If you get more involved, there will be requests for financial help, expectations of
fairly generous birthday and Christmas gifts. In the front of your mind at all times should be the obvious fact that clients are hitting on her and when she is out at clubs or shopping or on the TTC
men are checking her out and some are propositioning her. And a large age gap is basically approval to expect excessive generosity.
Speaking from experience here.
And it does happen. But please do not be under the illusion that you are the only one. If you do get her number and are texting off the clock, which leads to meeting for drinks and perhaps a "free" hookup
do not fall in love. Take it as an ego boost. And know that other men have reached that level with her as well. If you get more involved, there will be requests for financial help, expectations of
fairly generous birthday and Christmas gifts. In the front of your mind at all times should be the obvious fact that clients are hitting on her and when she is out at clubs or shopping or on the TTC
men are checking her out and some are propositioning her. And a large age gap is basically approval to expect excessive generosity.
Speaking from experience here.
He's also stated he only sees her on the clock so that's a clear sign already most likely she's not that into him. A lot of the time it's to lure guys into giving more. Some people just want a lot of materialistic stuff or to go out often and not pay at all. Don't fall for it. And if she has or has been sending you like morning texts they mean nothing since she's probably doing that with others too. Some people easily fall for the morning text trap and think at times they are special cause a SP or someone did it. Sure they probably make ya feel cozy inside, but shrug it. I had a SB once prior to meeting me sending me morning texts which I found amusing because we didn't meet in person yet, so I'd reply back and play along but eventually stopped cause I didn't care for that stuff knowing how it was coming across. At my age almost 40 now I tend to be a straight shooter and think realistically.
Man, these things never go/end well. Best to find another one or two SP you like (perhaps ones that look like your current crush) and balance your time amongst them. That way if one of them decide to bail or leave the industry you got a few more to lean on and avoid a heart break.
It seems common. It's happened to me twice already in 4 years full timing with SPs. One was a pure manipulator who used me (I can see that now). Despite us talking nearly every day and me knowing all her IRL personal details and intimate things (and vice versa) she burnt me hard in the end. Some girls end up in this biz because they are just not nice people.
The other one there were mutual feelings involved. It still ended because it's just not realistic.
The other one there were mutual feelings involved. It still ended because it's just not realistic.
A close friend gave me this exact advice, always have more than one close SP/MPA/dancer, never only rely on only one, because there will be times that the only one cannot make it to an event or when you are free and having someone else to call on will alleviate your frustration.
Just from a healthy emotional distance POV my rule was always to leave the dancers and the clubs at the clubs, and to never go to the same club, or see the same dancer, twice in a row. Now with escorts I follow a similar rule-- Never twice in a row.
It's fine to see people you like more often, but I always want to keep things simple, and to err on the side of keeping my transactional relationships health for me.
'Healthy' can/will vary between people...
If I got to this level of paranoia - I probably just stop going into clubs all together. You would avoid a club because you had a dance with a stripper who probably has forgotten you ? What happens if you visit a club twice ? A dancer sees you and you are now smitten with deep emotional commitment to marry her ?
It's entertainment. A one on one fantasy performance by an entertainer who you are paying for her efforts. If this concept is hard to fathom - don't go.
