Bad date experiences

[Lifeis2Short]

Sorry to hear about your experience, OP.

I've had many terrible experiences as well. And sometimes repeating multiple times leads to worse service, as the provider becomes complacent and feels that she can get away with putting in less effort. This is because you keep coming back, no matter what.

It seems that you had some feelings/connection with her. Hence the repeats and gifts, something that one normally wouldn't do unless they really cared about the person. Also, I can sense the hurt (understandbly) that wouldn't exist if you had no feelings for her.

The sad reality is that escorts generally do not reciprocate those feelings. Your gifts, such as flowers, would be well-received and appreciated by your wife (if you have one), but not most escorts. Flowers have no practical value, and are generally thrown away and not appreciated.

$600 for 90 minutes is a lot of money, and as a repeat cllient, who just brought gifts, it would be reasonable to expect good service. The fact that she didn't dress up, casually tossed the flowers, then talked on and on about her next clients reveals the painful truth: she doesn't value you as much as you'd like. Actions reveal one's true thoughts and feelings. To her, you were not as important than the other guy that day. The real catch is the guy who booked 5 hours and presumably will pay at least $2,000.

Of course, her attitude is completely wrong. She was probably so excited and could only think about all the money she was going to make, and had to share it with someone. It was very poor judgment to share it with you.

Her actions after the event also reveals another truth: she was genuinely sorry and felt terrible for the way she acted. She refunded the money, apologized, and I believe her when she said she didn't realize how much she took you for granted, and that she couldn't enjoy her next date.

If I were you, I would give her another chance. I do think that this event should alert you to the fact that she doesn't have feelings for you, however you feel about her, and that from now on you should enjoy the sessions without any expectation of reciprocal feelings beyond that of escort and client. She viewed you as a good client who she was comfortable with, and could share her thoughts with. In a sense, it is a good thing that she is comfortable with you. However, she crossed a boundary and realized it.

Now that this boundary has been established, perhaps future sessions will be better.

I suggest you book one more session to see how it goes, and take it from there. There is nothing to be lost, really, at this point. However, it seems this lady is very special, and it would be as shame to rob yourself of any future pleasurable experiences because of what may have been a naive misjudgement on her part. Many escorts are in the position they are because they lack certain skills. Some may be on the spectrum, and lack social skills and judgement.

Whatever you do, I wish you all the best.

>> It seems that you had some feelings/connection with her. Hence the repeats and gifts, something that one normally wouldn't do unless they really cared about the person. Also, I can sense the hurt (understandbly) that wouldn't exist if you had no feelings for her. <<<

This shouldn't be an assumption or a blanket statement, IMO. I have seen a handful of SPs for multi hour dates, multiple times (repeats) and I typically have some type of gift(s) for them. Just because I have done what you described, doesn't mean I have feelings for them. I value the time I spend with them, and I appreciate the friendliness the SPs have shown me, but that doesn't mean I've fallen for them. I KNOW this is a business. I KNOW this is a transaction. But, some SPs can turn that transaction into companionship. That's what I look forward. The way I look at it... I repeat with SPs that I am comfortable with. I look at it like I just made another friend...but not a GF. That's why it's called the girlfriend EXPERIENCE. I enjoy giving them a gift because I like being nice to people that are nice to me. If I met a stranger at the bar and we're having a great time yakking it up, there's a good chance I'll buy them a beer. It doesn't mean I want to marry them or become BFF with them!

Going back to the OP post... I couldn't imagine going thru that. I'm just thinking of the SPs I have repeated with... and I can't even fathom them doing such a thing. I am glad you spoke up (professionally and politely) and I am torn on what you should do based on her reaction. I will give her credit for sending back the money and profusely apologizing. Who knows... maybe she was just having a bad day or just wasn't on her game that particular moment. We are all humans. We all make mistakes. She tried to make it right (after the fact) but I can understand why you wouldn't want to go back. This is a sales job. You are only as good as your last sale.

 

[JayRoam]

She offered me another date free of charge. Told her I’d get back to her. I don’t know if I will take her up on her offer.

I would take her up on that. That's a lovely gesture. Together with the refund, it sound like she wants to make ammends.

Listen, especially if she is young, she was probably excited about her upcoming 5 hr date and because she is comfortable with you, she wanted to share. It's good that you corrected her but there's no point to have sour grapes about. Forgive her and go enjoy that free session.

If not, let me have it.

 

[stinkynuts]

I would take her up on that. That's a lovely gesture. Together with the refund, it sound like she wants to make ammends.

Listen, especially if she is young, she was probably excited about her upcoming 5 hr date and because she is comfortable with you, she wanted to share. It's good that you corrected her but there's no point to have sour grapes about. Forgive her and go enjoy that free session.

If not, let me have it.

100%

If anything, I think future sessions will be even better. We all make mistakes, it takes a big man to forgive and forget.

 

[SinnamonFairbanks]

In her defense, men kind of normalize talking about their sex partners and being open and honest is what makes a good provider.

You might be jealous she sees other people but that is the reality of the situation. She hasnt done anytbing wrong except forget some men want to live in the security ofbthe delusion that theyre the only ONE.

the true reality is that we hear about people cheating on their wifes and girlfriends. Especially if theyre sick, pregnant, loyal for decades. They get repayed by their husband paying prostitutes for swx and exposing them to diseases and other sexual escapade putting them at risk.

Its hard to draw the line on what's ok and what's not when you hear disgusting, traumatizing stuff all day and you just have to act like everything is normal.

Shes not happy about that date later. He's probably weird and boring. The truth is everyone is weird and boring. If they weren't weird, boring and bad at sex and if we loved having sex with weird men that were bad at sex it wouldn't cost $600 to be in the same room with her. She's not your girlfriend. She doesn't owe you loyalty the same way you don't owe her anything.

Things got weird and its probably best if you stop seeing her if you feel like you have to censor her and control her words to save your feelings. A woman shouldn't have to walk on eggshells to save you from your own feelings about a situation. That's not her job.

We often have to hear about serial cheating, high risk std seeking behavior, homosexual behavior, unprotected sex with multiple people and sex with every other provider in the area like it's just a normal conversation. I hear stuff that makes me want to put on a hazmat suit, but instead we smile and nod and thank God these people are someone else's problem.

Not everyone has the same hang ups you do. MOST people tell their prostitute everything like they're a therapist. Even therapists get therapy ro decompress from the BS they have to hear. For some reason hookers have to hear everything and never get to talk about how fucked up it is.

She's seeing another higher paying customer but the truth is, you all suck. She'd rather be doing anything else. She doesn't know what she did but she's learning she has to treat grown men like babies and hold their hands. One day she'll find a real man and worship bother ground he walks on because he's nothing like the johns she had to put up with.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make an educated guess that your married. You show up with a wedding ring on and talk about your wife and how much you "love her" and you expect your prostitute to care about your marital problems and hear about how often you cheat on your wife with multiple women with family funds... and then only see you... when you cant even see one woman. Why the hell should she hide that she's a prostitute from you? She sees multiple men before and after you. If you have an issue with that... that's on you. You see a prostitute for a few hours at a time and expect her to only have eyes for you as a client but she doesn't exist to you unless you want sex and to cheat on a loyal partner... you think paying her for an hour or two means she has to modify her entire personality to cater to you...

Get a sex doll, they have the personality you're looking for.

Ridiculous double standard.

Thought Id share what happened on my last date. My very last date was a repeat session with an SP I hand seen in a few months. I’m gonna leave her name out as I’m not trying to hurt her business, but want to share this experience. She’s a good woman and provider.

I was actually one of her first ever clients. I saw her when she at an agency a multiple times and we always had a great time overall. This was my first time seeing her as an Indy - $600/90 min session this time. She put in absolutely no effort in her appearance when seeing me. She greeted me with her hair wet, no make up and pajamas. I asked if she just got the shower and if she wanted some more time? She said no she’s good and that we can get started. I wanted to leave then but I gave her the benefit of doubt. My mistake. The REAL GF experience I guess. I showed up with a small dessert, flowers and small gift as her bday just passed. She was appreciative and took the gift and dessert and place them in a side table. As walked into the unit and she took the flowers, said thank you and proceeded to throw them on the loveseat in the unit. She then proceed chomping away on a salad she was eating. i instantly knew I wasn’t gonna be greeted with a kiss and hug. We sat and had a very brief catch up on our lives. But she spent majority of the time talking about her upcoming 5 hour dinner date later that evening. She even had her clothes laid out on the bed for her dinner date. She continued talking about her upcoming night and how she loves and prefers these types of dates, like if I we weren’t in the middle of a date I’m paying for. I tried giving her multiple chances and sway the conversation , but she kept talking about the guy she was seeing later that night. I finally had enough. I made a lot of effort to come see her and was getting played. I asked her to stop and then express my dissatisfaction with how everything was going. We are now about 25-30mins into our date time. I politely explained to her how incredibly unprofessional and rude she was being. I broke it down to her. It was like she was oblivious at how she was acting. With a stunned look on her face, she apologized. I suggested that I leave so she can finish getting ready for her more important date.As I headed for to the door, she stopped me. She kept saying how sorry she was and asked me to stay. I told her it’s best I go. She then offered to give me back most of the donation and apologized again for everything. I can hear in voice and see in her face she realized she was in the wrong and felt bad. I told her to keep it. It was never about the money. I just wished she showed me the same respect she was showing the guys she was seeing tonight. I turned around opened the door and left.
Late that night, she sent me a few long texts again apologizing for her behaviour. She also sent me all of the donation back. She was said she didn’t realize how bad things were and how she took me for granted. She said it was a wake up call to the lengths that some clients do go through to set up these dates. She said she went on the date but felt terrible to rest of the day about how she treated me. She went on about how she felt horrible about how she treated someone who’s been good to her as client from day 1. She offered me another date free of charge. Told her I’d get back to her. I don’t know if I will take her up on her offer.

I know she’s a good provider. She has tons of great reviews on here and my previous experiences were great. I just think she just took me (and guys like me) and the effort some of us put in to make a fun date happen - for granted. I make a honest living and partake in dates that I can afford. I’d live to do longer, more glamorous dates. But I do what I can but even more so it’s a service that I’m paying for. I think some girls get caught up in the lifestyle. She’s made a serious effort to make things right so I won’t hurt her business and say who she is. But it’s experiences like this that have me a little jaded about this industry at the moment. Maybe a break is needed.

All I can say is guys, make sure you stand up for yourselves. Don’t get taken for granted because you want the date to go well or just to have sex. can’t wait to hear yall thoughts. I’m sure I’m gonna get kill by some of you guys on here lol.

Slick