DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish.49.
Adventurous. Slept with everyone.
Athletic. No breasts.
Average looking. Moooo.
Beautiful. Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure. On medication.
Feminist. Fat.
Free spirit. Junkie.
Friendship first. Former ****.
New-Age. Body hair in the wrong.
Places.
Old-fashioned. No BJs.
Open-minded. Desperate.
Outgoing. Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.*****.
Voluptuous. Very Fat.
Large frame. Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate. Stalker.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No.
2. No = Yes.
3. Maybe = No.
4. We need = I want.
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry.
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble.
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not.
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later.
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever.
Think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry.
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy.
3. I am tired = I am tired.
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now.
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.