What a contentious topic this has been. Unbelievable really. Isn't it true that when a heinous crime is committed, most of us can't understand how the perpetrator could even think of committing the act, much less sympathize with them. When someone comes along and appears to side with the perp, then all hell breaks loose. And so it did when mmouse made his comments starting with post #2 regarding the 27 yr-old man wanting to seduce the 14-15 yr-old girl. I can appreciate where the comments of Hollaz, yoniluvrca, and Pleasing_Brian are coming from, because I think it's a good thing to consider both sides of an issue. Even mmouse in his own way was doing the same. But in all honesty, I was appalled at mmouse's level of outrage at the treatment of this 27-yr. old man. I've read the comments going back & forth and asked myself why I felt so compelled to comment. I don't have any personal history with this topic. I feel fortunate that while I can visually appreciate the beauty of a teenage girl developing into a woman, I've never had compelling sexual desire towards teens. Obviously there are men that do, and they carry a burden I cannot comprehend.
Upon reflection, I realized I have seen firsthand the impact of sexual abuse on women. I cannot help but be angry at the perpetrators seeing the damage they've caused. In a previous career, I spent a few years with an organization helping people improve their personal and professional lives. While I am not a psychiatric counsellor, I was trained in similar techniques for the work I did. I learned a lot about human dynamics. While helping some people through the stumbling blocks in their lives, we occasionally unearthed deep-seated issues. I remember clearly helping one woman in her 50's finally resolve some issues that caused her to be bitterly angry most of her life. As we discussed her previously "forgotten" memories of sexual abuse, I internally was sickened by what I heard. I worked with several women over those years who were once victimized. These were the survivors though. The 14-year girl whose story was discussed by Terry Hatcher on Oprah was not so lucky. The once happy young girl had committed suicide after a neighbour's sexual abuse took it's toll on her. When Terry discovered the abuser was her own childhood neighbour who had victimized her also as a young girl, she helped to convict him by testifying for the prosecution.
It is said that none of us get through childhood uninjured. But the injuries of sexual abuse are especially painful because they damage or kill the victim's spirit. I'm not saying we shouldn't try to understand the perp's own childhood victimization. Every case of abuse needs to be addressed. I personally hope each perp eventually finds God, and I would gladly embrace a truly changed soul. But we all know the difference between right and wrong as adults, and those who don't need to be away from the rest of us. In life, damage often cannot be repaired and lives may be lost, or spirits broken forever. Therefore, it is most critical that we as adults protect the children first, and worry about rehabilitating the perps second. Who among us, if confronted by our daughter, sister, mother, or son becoming victims of sexual abuse, would be sympathic to the perp. Why not? Because we know that a crime is a crime, and that childhood abuse does not excuse anyone from the consequences of their actions.
Hollaz said:
I find it a little odd when johns are the first to jump on pedophiles when they themselves are considered sex offenders by many in society.
I don't believe that most people would categorize johns as criminal sex offenders. Maybe doing something considered morally improper by some, but I think most consider this victimless when it involves only consenting adults. This cannot be compared to an adult seducing a minor. I don't see why johns wouldn't be as upset as anyone else would be with pedophiles.
yoniluvrca said:
Good point. Putting on my 'shrink' hat (and flame retardant suit) I'd say that many 'johns' have a deep seated, unacknowledged, unconscious guilt (read anger) about what they do ie. pay for sex. This anger needs an outlet and pedophiles are a pretty safe target as anyone defending them can easily be explained away as a-well-another pedophile.
I have put on my shrink hat as well, and I don't think one needs guilt to be outraged by pedophilic behaviour. I would bet women would be as or more outraged by some of the comments made in this thread. I'm quite comfortable with my sexuality thank you. I have hobbied only while single. I'm here now because I'm single for the first time in 3 yrs. I'm not being a prude here ...I was in the "lifestyle" for a couple years, and happily engaged in orgies, etc. I don't feel any guilt whatsoever about this ...quite the opposite actually. A pedophile knowingly harms children, and that in my books, warrants outrage.
Pleasing_Brian said:
Let's ignore the law. Let's ignore decency. Let's think about nature. Many 14 year old girls have physically developed to the point where a) their bodies tell them they're ready for sex, and b) they're sexually attractive to men.
Conversely, most men are naturally drawn to younger women. This has been proven both in evolutionary theory and in across culture habits of women. It makes evolutionary sense because younger women are more fertile. "Youthful" habits include applying lipstick (to give the appearance of larger, redder, more moist lips - a feature found on younger women which fades with age), pushup bras, etc.
But we are more than animals, and can't just ignore decency. That's the point.
Don't worry, I wouldn't call you a pervert because you sound like a reasonable guy. I can understand why we would all be uncomfortable with entrapment because that can easily be abused by LE, and our civil rights are important. Having said that, I'm sure there are ways to use "entrap" criminals that are reasonable and legal. The universal accessability and anonimity of the Internet has created a fertile ground for sexual predators, and presents a huge challenge for LE to protect minors vulnerable to pedophiles. These techniques of "entrapment" might be one of the few ways available to fight these crimes. As long as civil rights are respected in how the process is undertaken, then I applaud LE in these circumstances. Let's protect the children first, and worry about the predators rights last
