Anal Sex..

[Jade4u]

You may be right - probably "most" do it to please men - but there are definitely women who very much get off on it. My friend cums so hard from it she nearly passes out and says that nothing feels so intense.

Especially when they are first starting out for the first time with anal. In time lots can learn to love anal. I have heard both sides of the story and am not saying that not all enjoy it. But, I do believe most just continue because it satisfies their man or they know lots of men like it. If I were a man I think I would judge the whole general attitude towards sex and personality. I do believe in that intensity some women really get off on it.

 

[tboy]

hmmmm. just wondering

1. do you refer to your appendage in 3rd person?
2. is your appendage variable in size?
3. were you watching the first time and someone else was participating?

curious minds want to know.

Ok curious george, my statement is correct in that:
I was referring to my experience with a woman's first anal sex situation, and in reference to a woman's size (not THE woman in question) and as she relates to HIS size (the male in the anal sex scenario). It was effectively a continuation of the first sentenec hence why I included the sentence in question in the same paragraph instead of starting a new one...

clearer now?

 

[genintoronto]

Well the GF & I have started talking about entering the final frontier.

Now she obviously has some concerns, will it hurt, and what happens if she has a bit of a mess after.

So my question to all you knowledgeable ones out there… What is the best position for the first time ( and I don’t mean trying to slip it in the back door while I am pounding away ) and what can she do to make sure things will be clean and not use a whole enema.

And yes there will be a lot of lube.

Thanks

I think it's Dan Savage who once said that if you're not ready to deal with a little bit of shit (or santorum - the mix of lube, shit, and cum that is sometime the biproduct of anal sex), you're not ready for anal sex.

I wouldn't recommend that she uses an enema, at least not the first few times. Enemas are not fun - not at all. In my opinion, there are definitely not the sexiest way to prepare someone for their first ride at anal sex. Using the bathroom before you get to the bedroom should suffice. Because it's the first time you have a go at it, chances are that you are not going to pound her ass away like there's no tomorrow. At worst, you may get a little bit of stuff on top of your Junior - use a condom to avoid infection and to make cleaning up easier.

Will it hurt? Probably a little bit at first, even if you follow the good advices given to you here by other posters (warming up, finger play, butt plugs, etc.). Have her play with her clit while you are working her back door - it should help making the little bit of pain tolerable. Also, remember that you don't have to do it all in one setting: start by adding a little bit of finger ass play when you go down on her or while you are fucking her. When she's ready for more, you can add a butt plug to your bedroom activities. Working your way up to eventually fucking her ass.

I personally find that missionary with the ass up on a pillow is the best and most comfortable position to open up the way -- also somewhat more 'intimate' as you can see your partner's face and kiss them. But doggy and spoon are also good ones.

Also, keep in mind that while she may very well enjoy it like many women do (and not only to please their men), she may also not like it at all. Don't be an ass (haha) and let it go.

 

[skypilot]

not interested in anal sex and it is dumb to compare anal sex with kissing and sucking on a nipple

Why are you not interested? Did your ass hurt the first time you tried it?

 

[cliff1]

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate it. I think the best bet will maybe be a little finger play while I DATY to start off then after a couple sessions progress to penetration.

And just so you know…

Are you collecting material for a book? G-spot, Anal, ...

I am not writing a book it is just she has not had a lot of sexual experience in the past & wants to try new things out, hence the G-Spot & Anal.

Chances are I’ll end up having her play with my back door for some PM play too. It’s all fun and games.

 

[RTRD]

That...

Careful with the sphincter muscle as I was told by a SP/porn start that it is the only muscle that does not heal if damaged.

...sure as hell explains a lot.

Some of those chicks look like they could shit semi trucks if required....

 

[RTRD]

Ok ladies...

Anal sex can be enjoyable

I personally love anal sex more then regular sex.

Also, keep in mind that while she may very well enjoy it like many women do (and not only to please their men), she may also not like it at all. Don't be an ass (haha) and let it go.

if you don't mind....I have always tried to understand anal sex...from a female perspective.

I understand it as a male. One...it is "forbidden"...so there is some appeal. Two...if you are a butt man like me, it is visually stimulating. Three...many woman have better control of their sphincter than their vagina muscles, so the experience can be more pleasurable physically. And lastly...it is a bit of an act of submission...so if you have a bit of a dom streak as I do, that is a plus.

But...as a female...what do YOU enjoy about it? I mean...given that you have no prostates...what is in it for you?

This is my anal sexual experience and observations / analysis:

First wife...while we were dating...ALL anal sex. Reason: The Aurora Jolie / Nicara thing...she (wife #1) was saving herself until marriage. She told me she was an anal virgin. I do not recall there being any real issues...I of course didn't try to split her in half...but we would lube up and have sex, just like nothing special. However, once we married - never again. This is when she told me that it was just for my benefit...that she figured she had to fuck me one way or another to keep me around (she was not a vaginal virgin, but had decided to become a "renewed virgin" - no...I cannot explain it, so don't ask). But at the time...she sure LOOKED like she was enjoying it.

First FWB - Says she was an anal virgin, and I believe her (says I am still the only man who has been in her back door). I don't recall how it actually happened, but I can tell you she was very much a submissive, and I very much took advantage of that. We really actually never used lube beyond her vaginal secretions (it was always after things had started off vaginally). She would say in hurt...but she was also totally into it...it was like her mind just went to a different place. Like I said, she was a submissive...it was clear that she just completely got off on me "using her" that way. Sometimes, she'd even ask for it.

Second wife - Says she was anal virgin, and I totally believe her. 2nd wife was DEFINITELY NOT either a submissive OR very adventurous sexually. We did it once - she admits it was just to please me (I didn't even ask). It CLEARLY hurt. We tired it a couple more times...each time her request (usually after we'd been out drinking and had a hotel room), each time - no success. I could tell her motivation was because she thought it would make me happy, and just sheer curiosity, but I could also tell she did not enjoy it.

EX-GF (most recent) one day, when she was on the rag, she suggests to me we do anal instead. She says she is an anal virgin. We go slow, per the prescription....clearly it hurts, but we get through it. We do it several more times, each at her request, each time to completion. She says she likes it because it is "dirty"...she likes flying in the face of her school teacher / soccer mom image and persona (she also loves, loves, loves to give head, and gets PISSED when she doesn't get to swallow), but after about a month or so, she admits when I ask that she doesn't actually enjoy it physically, and it never happens again. I believe for her it was just a lark...and once that frontier had been crossed, the novelty wore off. I also believe she did it just to spite her ex husband...since it was something she never let him do (according to her).

Current FWB. Says she was an anal virgin. One day asks if we can do it (her request). She is into porn, and she just wants to do it. Feels like she is missing out. We have actually only completed the act once...I think it was the second time we tried. Whenever we do it, she is clearly in pain. Yet...she WANTS to do it...is always asking about it, insists we give it whirl about 50% of the time we are having sex. She DESPERATELY wants to be an " anal queen", even though she clearly doesn't enjoy it, at least physically (I am not hung like a horse, but I am a big guy, and most of the women I have known have reported that i was at least a little bit bigger than average downstairs). This is CLEARLY a "mental" thing...she has sought advice from her gay friends on how to anal fuck, looked stuff up on the internet and sent it to me. She NEEDS to be an anal porn star....even though she clearly isn't actually enjoying it (physically).

Ok...

So...where I am going with this is here - I have never actually known a woman who truly and honestly PHYSICALLY enjoyed anal sex. My experience (which of course does not encompass the experience of women everywhere on the earth) has been that anal sex falls into three categories for women:

1) They do it to make their partners happy
2) They do it because of where it aligns with their head space (submissives)
3) They do it because they like the idea of being a "dirty girl" (quote from my current FWB...she loves being a "dirty girl")

Question: Do you ladies - does any woman - actually PHYSICALLY ENJOY anal sex...as in finds it PLEASURABLE? Not enjoy it from a mental stand point...not "get into it", or "enjoy making my man happy", or "enjoy being fucked like the true slut I am"...all of which I understand and respect (the brain is the most critical sexual organ after all), but actually enjoy and get PHYSICAL PLEASURE from the act itself?

Because..hey...while I am man enough to admit I periodically like something (like a finger or a small dildo) inserted into my ass...I also have a prostate. I CANNOT imagine enjoying it if I didn't...

 

[genintoronto]

if you don't mind....I have always tried to understand anal sex...from a female perspective.

[snip]

My experience (which of course does not encompass the experience of women everywhere on the earth) has been that anal sex falls into three categories for women:

1) They do it to make their partners happy
2) They do it because of where it aligns with their head space (submissives)
3) They do it because they like the idea of being a "dirty girl" (quote from my current FWB...she loves being a "dirty girl")

Question: Do you ladies - does any woman - actually PHYSICALLY ENJOY anal sex...as in finds it PLEASURABLE? Not enjoy it from a mental stand point...not "get into it", or "enjoy making my man happy", or "enjoy being fucked like the true slut I am"...all of which I understand and respect (the brain is the most critical sexual organ after all), but actually enjoy and get PHYSICAL PLEASURE from the act itself?

Because..hey...while I am man enough to admit I periodically like something (like a finger or a small dildo) inserted into my ass...I also have a prostate. I CANNOT imagine enjoying it if I didn't...

With a partner who knows what s/he is doing, I do. It just feels good. Even without a prostate.

I've had anal sex with female lovers, so I can't be accused of doing it to 'please my man'. And while I can play submissive, at heart I'm a Top/Dominant. But I also don't see any particular sexual act as de facto 'submissive' or 'dominant'. For instance, many people see a woman giving a blowjob as being submissive. But from where I'm standing -- or kneeling -- when I give a blowjob, it's my show baby. I'm the one in control, I'm the one who's making your knees weak, I'm the one who's teasing you, I'm the one who's giving you the visuals and sensations you're getting, I'm the one who can decide to make you cum right now, or slow down and make you wait. Same goes for anal sex, or any other kind of dirty fun. Fucking someone up the ass can feel very dominant (dominating?) for the person doing the fucking, but it can be very 'humbling' too. Try fisting someone's ass and feeling your hand being swallowed -- when you start wondering whether you're ever going to get it back is when you start questioning your 'dominant' position as the penetrator.

Which brings me to the mental aspect of it. Of course there's a mental aspect to the pleasure of anal sex. Like there's a mental aspect to the pleasure of any kind of sex. I don't know really how to separate the mental part from the physical part. But I don't really want to either. Sex without that mental dimension would be quite boring I think.

Does that answer your question?

 

[DshRipRock]

Maybe Cliff should buy the Misses a strapon and lead by example. Once she's seen how much you like it she will be dying to try it.

 

[RTRD]

Not really...

Does that answer your question?

...no. But that might be because there is no definitive answer.

Let me try to frame this differently.

Cunnilingus, if done correctly, feels good. Fellatio as well. The gender of the person doing it is irrelevant, your feelings about the person doing it are irrelevant...if done correctly, it feels good. If you were blindfolded and had no idea who was doing it, you could still get off, if it was done well.

Being caned hurts like hell. You might ENJOY the pain, you might find it arousing, stimulating, whatever. Again, the brain is the largest and most important sex organ. But, having your skin broken and your ass made bloodied hurts. The pleasure derived, if any, comes from your "head space", not from a natural response of your body.

I am trying to understand where anal sex fits on this continuum for females. Based on my experience so far (which I fully realize represents an infinitesimal fraction of women), the act itself is not actually pleasurable, and accordingly, it is more of a "head space" thing.

 

[hunter001]

Being caned hurts like hell. You might ENJOY the pain, you might find it arousing, stimulating, whatever. Again, the brain is the largest and most important sex organ. But, having your skin broken and your ass made bloodied hurts. The pleasure derived, if any, comes from your "head space", not from a natural response of your body.

I am trying to understand where anal sex fits on this continuum for females. Based on my experience so far (which I fully realize represents an infinitesimal fraction of women), the act itself is not actually pleasurable, and accordingly, it is more of a "head space" thing.

Blood? Pain? I think you not doing some right.

My X requested anal on her back in the day... There was no blood, no pain and she said really enjoyed it. I wasn't that interested and we only did it a few times. I thinking it is a matter of going slow and working with your partner to get the maximum benefit out of it.

For sure there doesn't have to be pain, ...

As for being a "head space" thing, I remember seeing on some website or late night tv about the parts of the woman's body that got stimulated during anal sex (there is a lot more to it then just the simple penetration.)
If your interested it you may care to do more research into things before writing it of as a "head space" thing.

 

[Jade4u]

Even if the woman has pain the first few times because she has never done anal before there is no reason for her to have pain in future anal sessions unless the man is a really really really big prick. I don't know about it being a head space thing as I would really gush with anal sex. A combination of anal and clitoral stimulation only doubled the effect. Yeah, I am of the submissive mentality, but I do know if I do not like something and if someone really hates something or is not in the mood for something nothing can overwrite that. The brain is a big part of sexual experiences for everyone and if you gain PLEASURE from something why fight it? If it's enjoyed it is simply enjoyed. For the most part I think it is if you have a bad experience with something that is when your brain will be worried it will be the same experience when you attempt it the second time. Making it more likely that you will not achieve what you set out to do.

 

[RTRD]

I didn't say..

Blood? Pain? I think you not doing some right.

..there was blood and / or pain during anal sex, though obviously there could be. I was referring to canning.

As for being a "head space" thing, I remember seeing on some website or late night tv about the parts of the woman's body that got stimulated during anal sex (there is a lot more to it then just the simple penetration.)
If your interested it you may care to do more research into things before writing it of as a "head space" thing.

I am researching it - I am asking the question of women who should know...

 

[hunter001]

..there was blood and / or pain during anal sex, though obviously there could be.

I will add this to the discussion anyway http://susiebright.blogs.com/susie_...ris-what-a-womans-cock-really-looks-like.html.

The reason you hear so much about the "g-spot," and controversies over whether women are excited by internal anal or vaginal pressure, is because those areas are all means to massage, and stimulate, the internal clitoral body.

As for the canning thing. There are always people on the extremes...

 

[genintoronto]

...no. But that might be because there is no definitive answer.

Let me try to frame this differently.

Cunnilingus, if done correctly, feels good. Fellatio as well. The gender of the person doing it is irrelevant, your feelings about the person doing it are irrelevant...if done correctly, it feels good. If you were blindfolded and had no idea who was doing it, you could still get off, if it was done well.

Being caned hurts like hell. You might ENJOY the pain, you might find it arousing, stimulating, whatever. Again, the brain is the largest and most important sex organ. But, having your skin broken and your ass made bloodied hurts. The pleasure derived, if any, comes from your "head space", not from a natural response of your body.

I am trying to understand where anal sex fits on this continuum for females. Based on my experience so far (which I fully realize represents an infinitesimal fraction of women), the act itself is not actually pleasurable, and accordingly, it is more of a "head space" thing.

Hmmm... I'm not sure what you mean by 'head space', nor by 'natural response of your body' or how you can separate the two. Pain and pleasure are both interpretations from our brain of physical sensations. Masochists enjoy pain because their brain interpret the pain as pleasurable in a certain context. When I'm aroused, I love having my nipples bitten and pinched hard, very hard: it feels good, my pussy gets wet. That's the 'natural response' of my body to the pain in that context. And while cunnilingus does feel good when done properly, I doubt that I would enjoy it in the context of a rape, no matter how 'good' my rapist would be at it.

But going back to anal sex: I can't speak for anyone else than me, but the 'natural response' of my body to anal stimulation is that it feels good, most of the time. Good enough for me to sometime use my vibrating buttplug when masturbating. Now, does that answer your question?

 

[hunter001]

When did this become a thread about preserves?

Ask MLAM...

 

[RTRD]

What I mean is...

When I'm aroused, I love having my nipples bitten and pinched hard, very hard: it feels good, my pussy gets wet.

...if it felt good, you wouldn't need to be aroused first and..

And while cunnilingus does feel good when done properly, I doubt that I would enjoy it in the context of a rape, no matter how 'good' my rapist would be at it.

...if something actually feels good, you have to have a pretty good reason to not enjoy it.

Both examples required you be in a certain mental state of mind, versus the "natural physical response".

I am not trying to provide laboratory control / scientifically sound analogies here...just common sense. Some things you like because they feel good...some things you like because you have learned that you like them, for whatever reason, but not because they provide pleasure (versus pain).

But going back to anal sex: I can't speak for anyone else than me, but the 'natural response' of my body to anal stimulation is that it feels good, most of the time.

Does "most of the time" mean regardless of how its done, and that sometimes it does not matter how well it is done you do not derive pleasure from it, or does "most of the time" mean that depending on how it is done, you enjoy it?

Good enough for me to sometime use my vibrating buttplug when masturbating. Now, does that answer your question?

Again, not really, because when I think of something being pleasurable, based on natural responses, it isn't "sometimes". Assuming it is done well / correctly / consistently / whatever, if something feels good, it feels good, baring a reason for it to NOT feel good (see rape example above).

All that said, your input and that of others has helped me place it on the continuum...

 

[genintoronto]

...if it felt good, you wouldn't need to be aroused first and..

...if something actually feels good, you have to have a pretty good reason to not enjoy it.

Both examples required you be in a certain mental state of mind, versus the "natural physical response".

I am not trying to provide laboratory control / scientifically sound analogies here...just common sense. Some things you like because they feel good...some things you like because you have learned that you like them, for whatever reason, but not because they provide pleasure (versus pain).

I think we're having one of those online discussion which would actually have been over in 5 minutes if we were discussing it in person. Something is getting lost in the medium.

But trying to clarify my point: having my pussy eaten out feels good, most of the time (assuming it is done well and that it's consentual). But I'm not a morning person, and I don't particularly enjoy morning sex. So, while there are some exceptions, I typically wouldn't enjoy someone going down on me first thing in the morning. The 'natural response' of my body would be to push away the person bothering me down there. More generally speaking, any sexual act that I typically enjoy requires me to be somewhat aroused to enjoy them: cunnilingus, finger-banging, penis-in-vagina, anal stimulation, nipple bitting, etc. They are all pleasurable in the context of me being aroused, and annoying at best when I'm not aroused.

And it doesn't take much for something that I would typically enjoy to not feel good: a headache, being in a bad mood, being stressed out or anxious, the wrong moment or context, etc.

Again, I don't understand how you can separate the brain from the body given that it is your brain that interprets the physical sensations. Pain and pleasure are only an interpretation of your brain to a physical/mental stimulation: that's why some people get wet/get a boner from canning, and other people don't. Because pain and pleasure don't exist outside of how your brain interprets what is going on.

Does "most of the time" mean regardless of how its done, and that sometimes it does not matter how well it is done you do not derive pleasure from it, or does "most of the time" mean that depending on how it is done, you enjoy it?

Again, not really, because when I think of something being pleasurable, based on natural responses, it isn't "sometimes". Assuming it is done well / correctly / consistently / whatever, if something feels good, it feels good, baring a reason for it to NOT feel good (see rape example above).

All that said, your input and that of others has helped me place it on the continuum...

Again, I say 'sometime' or 'most of the time' because it depends on so many other factors than the mere physical sensations. Assuming it is done well, with the right partner or on my own, in the right context, and when I'm in the mood for it, anal sex feels good. And at the risk of repeating myself, the same holds true for any other sexual activities that I typically enjoy.

 

[scorpion69king]

As far as I am concerned the other two holes are perfectly fine.
It always amazes this anal thing.

As far as I know the anal was made for only one thing.
So why do people bother?? You even have to pay extra for this???? No thanks

 

[genintoronto]

As far as I know the anal was made for only one thing.

As far as I know, the mouth is not biologically or reproductively designed to give blowjobs.

I personally think that god put guys' 'G-spot' up their ass as a form of poetic justice.