Am I the Asshole? James and Sara’s story
- Thread starter Jenesis
- Start date
If she was paying half the mortgage she should receive some of the equity appreciation but I think the concept of paying a little more than just half the utilities, food, etc. is called for. The added wear and tear on the house from an extra person living there is a reality. I'm not saying she should have to pay for renovations or improvements but if the drains back up and you have to call a plumber, why should he have to pay all that cost. Especially as the traditionally longer hair females have is a major contributing factor if my house is any indication. If she accidentally breaks a window or door there should be a fund to pay for it but it sounds like anything like that opens up the door for a constructive trust.
Do you realize how complicated this is. You actually want full legal documents in ANY event. It literally sounds like a business partnership and not a relationship.
He worked his ass off to get a mortgage and probably gave up so much to be able to buy a house at his age in this economy. She came along and wants a pi3ce ofnhis pie now? 3 years is not very long to be honest. Ive found out new quirks and annoyances and surprises after 5 years.
Ive lived with women 5 days of the week for 2 years and still dont know them fully.
Theyre not forever yet. Theyre still in the dating phase clearly.
She needs to pay half of mortgage for now.
And yes I would move in and pay half of someones mortgage. If its 1500 that means their mortgage is 3000 which means they have a pretty damnn big house. Thats dirt cheap rent especially considering im fucking the landlord hard and I cant find a place otherwise thats affordable. She wins 100% in this scenario.
He can lose a lot in this scenario. She has 0 to lose tbh.
Is he fucking the room mate?
There is a difference between a partner and an Air b&b guest.
I will bottom line it. He either loves her, or money... but he can't love both.
Here is a plus for her... her rent can only go up a small incremental % even though the lease is up. If she stays, the lease rules still apply. It's not like the landlord can just jack up the rent several hundred dollars.
Here is a plus for her... her rent can only go up a small incremental % even though the lease is up. If she stays, the lease rules still apply. It's not like the landlord can just jack up the rent several hundred dollars.
So you are going to use me for 5 years and all I pay is half your mortgage….where do I sign up?
Who said anything about him paying for the plumber? That is a wild assumption on your part.
They are moving in together to build a life together. She has said she has no problem. Contributing to the house at all. Even paying for her share of the house, the expenses, all of it. She just wants equity protection for herself.
Why should she be a renter? He is her partner, not her landlord. Would you move in with your girlfriend that you are planning a life with and be ok with her the power dynamics of her being your landlord? Where she can kick you out at anytime?
Even with 30 days notice, that is not a lot of time but because it would be considered more a roommate situation with the shared kitchen and bathroom, he would not even need to give her notice.
So if your game of paying down half my mortgage, getting no equity from it and allowing me the option to kick your ass out at anytime, please feel to PM - we should start dating now.
So you would move in with a woman, pay down her mortgage with no expectation of equity protection? With the housing market having gone crazy and even paying a year into house could mean 100K.
Now remember, she doesn’t want equity on his 7 years of already paying or the Dow payment portions. Just for the years she ends up being there. If they stay together forever like they both want, this is not a problem, but if in 5 years, they break up, why does she lose all that investment? When have you ever paid into an investment to not get a return on that investment.
Remember, she may be paying less compared to rent but he is not paying half of a mortgage. So he is winning out as well. Don’t make it look one sided when it is not.
I laughed but good question, how long is she a roommate? Remember she is not even a legal “tenant”. She doesn’t have tenant rights, only roommate rights which are less then a tenant.
All while he is collecting mortgage money and gaining free equity. Nice guy eh?
My son was in that boat. His fiancée parents put a down payment on a house for her, and when he moved in they asked him to sign some papers giving him no equity in the place ever… even after marriage.
My advice was simple…. Don’t sign anything. If you break up in a year, then just walk. It’s like you paid rent. But if you were there 10 years, helped paid the place down… did the gardening, shovelled the snow, then yes, you are entitled to something if you 2 are together.
They split after 5 years and they paid him out his equity.
Oh good. I’m glad they did. I just think that is the right thing to do. Don’t have someone pay your shit and then gain on the investment. Pay out what it rightly owed.
I've seen similar circumstances where a group of friends are renting a place, then one of the friends decided to purchase it, and suddenly all the friends assume they'll be living there rent-free. This is a similar situation. Unless they're engaged or married, I think he has every right to expect rent from her (perhaps at a reduced rate). Even if she is married to him, I'd expect her to contribute to the mortgage, but at that point, even if her name isn't on the house, she'll still get recompense for her contributions in the event of a divorce.
An alternative arrangement may be for her to compensate him in the amount of half the mortgage payments he has previously made, with both parties contributing to future payments equally, and then put her name on the house.
An alternative arrangement may be for her to compensate him in the amount of half the mortgage payments he has previously made, with both parties contributing to future payments equally, and then put her name on the house.
I own a house with my Girl, we're both official owner. But since my income is more that her's, we split the mortgage 30-70. If something was to happen and we split. Sell the house for a profit, we split 30-70 on the mortgage we signed up for and split the + value 50-50. ex: bought and sign mortgage @ 500k, sold 750k. she'll get 150+125, I'll get 350+125. That's our way and both happy with it.
If she married you, she would still only get equity from the time of marriage, not for the whole time of his ownership of the house.
Which is all she is asking for now. Why pay half of 7 years of a mortgage? Just Appraise now, appraise at the end of the relationship, and split the equity accordingly. Why is that such an issue?
and your roommate example is not the same. They are not currently living together and then he bought the house. They are romantically involved and this is the next step In Their relationship. He could sell his house and move in with her. But paying rent when you can pay a mortgage and own your home makes more sense so it makes more sense to move in with him.
