Am I the Asshole? James and Sara’s story

[Jenesis]

James is 33, living in a house he owns for the last 7 years. Sara is 27 and has been renting. James and Sara have been together for 3 years. It is time to start living together and planning a life together. Her lease is coming up, she will have her rent upped and anywhere else the rent is higher then what she pays now.

They have started talking about the financials. She is willing to pay her share of all bills, food, gas, household expenses, except the mortgage, property taxes or house insurance without an understanding of some sort of equity protection for her.

For example, if she pays into the house for 5 years and then they split, she wants half of the five years worth of equity?

Is she the asshole for refusing to pay for into house mortgage without an equity protection.

He says he would be like a landlord to her and she would just be paying him rent? She says if they split, she would want all her “rent” back. I think this part is ridiculous. Both her getting her “rent” back. And him being her landlord.

If the roles were reverse, would your answer be the same?

 

[Goodoer]

If I’m the guy, I’d have no problem giving her equity from the date of move-in. My initial 7 years would need to be protected. Charging her rent like a landlord is bad mojo.

 

[richaceg]

The best thing to do is...split the bills...(that's not rent) no mortgage, no getting back rent when they split....basically her just paying off utilities she uses...he owns his house.

 

[Dirkpit]

In my opinion, which might mean squat….they should take a financial snapshot of what each is worth today. If they split up in future they each take that plus 50% of gains. That would be fair and equal partners.

 

[xmontrealer]

After 5 years living together would she have some common-law rights to the equity in the home?

 

[Jenesis]

After 5 years living together would she have some common-law rights to the equity in the home?

From my understanding, here she would. But this is in the states and I don’t know their laws there.

 

[Jenesis]

I think everyone should have some sort of separation agreement. Pre-nip if getting married, just regular separation agreement if common-law. It only makes sense. And get nitty griddy, down to the bone. You will really get to know someone when you start placing boundaries financially.

 

[Mr Deeds]

The best thing to do is to have a pre-co-habitation agreement drawn up, that way everybody is protected. I would never have a woman living with me without it

 

[mandrill]

James is 33, living in a house he owns for the last 7 years. Sara is 27 and has been renting. James and Sara have been together for 3 years. It is time to start living together and planning a life together. Her lease is coming up, she will have her rent upped and anywhere else the rent is higher then what she pays now.

They have started talking about the financials. She is willing to pay her share of all bills, food, gas, household expenses, except the mortgage, property taxes or house insurance without an understanding of some sort of equity protection for her.

For example, if she pays into the house for 5 years and then they split, she wants half of the five years worth of equity?

Is she the asshole for refusing to pay for into house mortgage without an equity protection.

He says he would be like a landlord to her and she would just be paying him rent? She says if they split, she would want all her “rent” back. I think this part is ridiculous. Both her getting her “rent” back. And him being her landlord.

If the roles were reverse, would your answer be the same?

No, she's taking the correct position. She needs a cohabitation agreement to protect her.

 

[S416905]

James is 33, living in a house he owns for the last 7 years. Sara is 27 and has been renting. James and Sara have been together for 3 years. It is time to start living together and planning a life together. Her lease is coming up, she will have her rent upped and anywhere else the rent is higher then what she pays now.

They have started talking about the financials. She is willing to pay her share of all bills, food, gas, household expenses, except the mortgage, property taxes or house insurance without an understanding of some sort of equity protection for her.

For example, if she pays into the house for 5 years and then they split, she wants half of the five years worth of equity?

Is she the asshole for refusing to pay for into house mortgage without an equity protection.

He says he would be like a landlord to her and she would just be paying him rent? She says if they split, she would want all her “rent” back. I think this part is ridiculous. Both her getting her “rent” back. And him being her landlord.

If the roles were reverse, would your answer be the same?

She’s moving in with him because she can’t afford a house. So why does she get equity in the house just because she is contributing to the expenses. I’m assuming she would have put a down payment and bought her own house If she could afford it.

 

[Ginomore]

After 5 years living together would she have some common-law rights to the equity in the home?

A lot sooner than 5 years she can take half of everything.
Very risky for the man.

 

[Jenesis]

She’s moving in with him because she can’t afford a house. So why does she get equity in the house just because she is contributing to the expenses. I’m assuming she would have put a down payment and bought her own house If she could afford it.

So would you move into a house with a woman, pay down part of her mortgage and if you split in 5 years, you don’t expect a return on your investment into the house?

That would be nice. I could use you to pay half my mortgage and then kick you out and gain all the equity.

 

[luvdog]

James is 33, living in a house he owns for the last 7 years. Sara is 27 and has been renting. James and Sara have been together for 3 years. It is time to start living together and planning a life together. Her lease is coming up, she will have her rent upped and anywhere else the rent is higher then what she pays now.

They have started talking about the financials. She is willing to pay her share of all bills, food, gas, household expenses, except the mortgage, property taxes or house insurance without an understanding of some sort of equity protection for her.

For example, if she pays into the house for 5 years and then they split, she wants half of the five years worth of equity?

Is she the asshole for refusing to pay for into house mortgage without an equity protection.

He says he would be like a landlord to her and she would just be paying him rent? She says if they split, she would want all her “rent” back. I think this part is ridiculous. Both her getting her “rent” back. And him being her landlord.

If the roles were reverse, would your answer be the same?

No, she is not an asshole for asking for equity protection.
LD

 

[richaceg]

Guy may sound greedy but he owns the house, it's hard to let someone just jump in and have equity for a property you have invested alone for most...the least he can do is offer her free board, let her pay her share of utilities and keep his house, his ownership...I mean, she isn't getting the short end either...looking at a situation where she could be paying higher rent somewhere...what's fucking him once a week really going to cost?

 

[richaceg]

So would you move into a house with a woman, pay down part of her mortgage and if you split in 5 years, you don’t expect a return on your investment into the house?

That would be nice. I could use you to pay half my mortgage and then kick you out and gain all the equity.

that changes everything, is he asking her to pay half his mortgage? is she offering? If I was the guy, I would refuse that...the guy was already paying for the mortgage before she came into the picture...and when the relationship is taken to a different level...pre nup would be the next choice for the person who owns the house...

 

[Uncharted]

So would you move into a house with a woman, pay down part of her mortgage and if you split in 5 years, you don’t expect a return on your investment into the house?

That would be nice. I could use you to pay half my mortgage and then kick you out and gain all the equity.

If he brought in a room mate and rented to them, should they expect equity in the house when they eventually leave?

If I air bnb my house, while I have a mortgage, should those people who rented my house expect equity in it for the week they stayed?
What makes this woman any different?

 

[shakenbake]

If they are living together, it might be construed as a common law marriage. After a year, and if they split, the place could be considered a matrimonial home, and would have to be divided. Prenup kind of arrangement, perhaps? Lawyers please chime in.

 

[Butler1000]

Sign of the times. Want equality, here it is. If she was owner the answer to this is the same.

Take the cash and put it into a seperate account. If they get married it wont matter. If she is out within say 2 years its rent and lost. After that its probably a clear common law situation and they will have to deal separately.

But prenups can be torn up by a judge at any time.

 

[mandrill]

If they are living together, it might be construed as a common law marriage. After a year, and if they split, the place could be considered a matrimonial home, and would have to be divided. Prenup kind of arrangement, perhaps? Lawyers please chime in.

No. You gotta be formally married. And it takes 5 years to get 1/2.

 

[mandrill]

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