Am I Spoiled??

D

drlove

Ph.D. in Pussyology
Oct 14, 2001
4,895
328
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The doctor is in
Ok... here's the situation. I could have started dating two different women recently. Instead, I ended up not calling either of them again. At first, my work schedule increased, so I kept putting it off. Then I realized, I didn't want to go through the hassle of the whole dating scene again. I also didn't particularly like the idea of having to spend money on them without the guarantee of getting some at the end of the night.

I actually chose to continue with the hobby for its convenience, variety, lack of committment/relationship hassles and the fact that I could control it - instead of going for something real that could actually lead to something meaningful. A few years ago, I would have opted for the relationship hands down. Now, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to put any effort into getting laid. Perhaps this hobby has taken its toll. The thing is, If it wasn't for the easy availability of escorts, I would be actively pursuing a relationship.

Any thoughts??
 
I for one am about the emotional aspects that one gains from a committed relationship. The variety and ease, and convenience of escorts is great, but the sex is so much better when there are feelings involved.
 
a 1 player said:
I for one am about the emotional aspects that one gains from a committed relationship. The variety and ease, and convenience of escorts is great, but the sex is so much better when there are feelings involved.
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The other aspect of that is, I'm scared of getting bored. I can't see myself with just one woman, and if the relationship gets stale I'm either stuck, go through a break up which I could do without, or cheat on her by seeing escorts again. :(
 
It just isnt the same

a 1 player said:
I for one am about the emotional aspects that one gains from a committed relationship. The variety and ease, and convenience of escorts is great, but the sex is so much better when there are feelings involved.
Click to expand...


Even with the best GFE its not the same as looking into the eyes of a woman giving herself to you...


cheesy but true
 
I don't know exactly how you feel Dr L but for me, I just can't be bothered with all the BS that "actively pursuing a relationship" entails. All the games that you have to play, all the hits and misses, etc etc. I felt this way long before I started hobbying and it is hobbying that has allowed me to remain semi-sane lol.

Now, if I met someone and clicked with her and the feelings were mutual I would pursue it because as A1 said: everything is better when you're emotionally attached to someone. (well, for the MOST part anyways, you also have to be like minded).

See, that's a problem Dr L. You're thinking of "what will happen if we break up" before it even starts. If you're thinking like that, it's doomed before it begins. You have to go into a relationship with a positive outlook else that will affect the relationship. Sure, we've all had messy breakups but I wouldn't trade any of my previous relationships for all the money in the world (ok, 1/2 the money in the world) because it IS better to have loved and lost than to never have loved before.
 
tboy said:
Now, if I met someone and clicked with her and the feelings were mutual I would pursue it because as A1 said: everything is better when you're emotionally attached to someone. (well, for the MOST part anyways, you also have to be like minded).
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Well, I didn't even give it a chance. They gave me the green light for a second date, and I didn't even bother. The ladies were nice, but it wasn't like sparks were flying or anything like that.
 
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a 1 player said:
I for one am about the emotional aspects that one gains from a committed relationship. The variety and ease, and convenience of escorts is great, but the sex is so much better when there are feelings involved.
Click to expand...

Sure there's fun in a committed relationship. It's not jus' about your money. The lady also contributes ,I'm sure. I have found that the hour spent with a SP leaves me craving for something more and the good times does seem to get over pretty soon (1/2 or 1 hr). What after that?
 
drlove said:
Well, I didn't even give it chance. They gave me the green light for a second date, and I didn't even bother. The ladies were nice, but it wasn't like sparks were flying or anything like that.
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Well, I would say then it wasn't really anything to get worried about. I wouldn't call a lady back either if it wasn't happening on the first date.

One thing that MIGHT spoil you tho is the fact that when you hobby, you are probably doing it with a really hot sexy lady where the ones you meet in real life, well, might not be more than average at best.
 
I think escorts and relationships offer two different things. I think the important part is that if you are happy, healthy, can afford it and have time to pursue other hobbies then great. This is pretty much the principle that apply to most situations when trying to decide if it's okay or not.

I agree with tboy that your outlook on relationships should focus on the positive. But again if what a relationship doesn't interest you then don't waste your time.

I will add this....
I think you need to differentiate between rationalization/defense mechanism versus true con/downside.

Guys talk about being too busy, variety and being easier to hobby and I've used all those excuses/explanations in the past but honestly with the right girl you'll make time, she'll be interesting, and it'll take no effort. Cheesy yes I know.
 
tboy said:
One thing that MIGHT spoil you tho is the fact that when you hobby, you are probably doing it with a really hot sexy lady where the ones you meet in real life, well, might not be more than average at best.
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Average can feel great if the feelings are there, at least in my opinion.
 
a 1 player said:
Average can feel great if the feelings are there, at least in my opinion.
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Dude, I agree but in reference to Dr L's "spoiled" comment I was thinking one could get used to the eye candy and overlook the average. Kind of like getting used to driving a Gallardo and then having to get into a chevette.....(lol ok, not a chevette but a cavalier lol)
 
not the same

tboy said:
Well, I would say then it wasn't really anything to get worried about. I wouldn't call a lady back either if it wasn't happening on the first date.

One thing that MIGHT spoil you tho is the fact that when you hobby, you are probably doing it with a really hot sexy lady where the ones you meet in real life, well, might not be more than average at best.
Click to expand...


Of all the women that I dated, the one that really made my head spin was far from the best looking.... I myself didnt understand the attraction
 
chazz_matzz said:
Of all the women that I dated, the one that really made my head spin was far from the best looking.... I myself didnt understand the attraction
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It's all about chemistry and don't try to understand that. Obviously, you are a man with a heart and not a shallow hal. May be, I'll experience the same one day.
 
Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not all about how she looks......but I've had relationships with real hotties and some that are, ahem, far below that adjective.

In every one there were issues that had to be dealt with and the way I thought about it was: Look, if I have to put up with this kind of BS from the average woman, I might as well find a hottie who looks good in a thong bikini....I dated a few average women who honestly were higher maintenance than the really hot ones.
 
tboy said:
One thing that MIGHT spoil you tho is the fact that when you hobby, you are probably doing it with a really hot sexy lady where the ones you meet in real life, well, might not be more than average at best.
Click to expand...

There's more to it than that. I've gotten used to being single and engaging in the hobby on a regular basis. In a lot of ways, I'm content. Being in a relationship is like having a second full time job. It's a lot of work. On the other hand, there is something to the emotional aspect of it.... knowing that someone truly cares about you.

So, while the idea of a fantastic relationship appeals to me, I'm just not willing to put forth the effort, nor do I wish to give up hobbying. That's my dilemma: I want a relationship, but I don't. I know that sounds fucked up, I admit - but that's where I'm at right now.
 
Not to sound too critical but I often hear people say that a relationship is SO much work....it shouldn't be, really. If it IS like work, then you shouldn't be in it...or she isn't the right person. Every relationship I've ever been in, or the ones that I know of, that work out, are ones where the couple don't work at it. All the relationships that people work at, I've never seen one that lasts. Oh there are those that last in spite of everything, but that is because the people are too afraid to be alone.
 
drlove said:
Ok... here's the situation. I could have started dating two different women recently. Instead, I ended up not calling either of them again. At first, my work schedule increased, so I kept putting it off. Then I realized, I didn't want to go through the hassle of the whole dating scene again. I also didn't particularly like the idea of having to spend money on them without the guarantee of getting some at the end of the night.

I actually chose to continue with the hobby for its convenience, variety, lack of committment/relationship hassles and the fact that I could control it - instead of going for something real that could actually lead to something meaningful. A few years ago, I would have opted for the relationship hands down. Now, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to put any effort into getting laid. Perhaps this hobby has taken its toll. The thing is, If it wasn't for the easy availability of escorts, I would be actively pursuing a relationship.

Any thoughts??
Click to expand...

Incredibly, it's as if you read my mind and wrote it down. The beauty of this hobby (who are we kidding... it's an habit, not a hobby) is that we control the who, what, when, where and why. Especially with a great regular, there's no bullshit drama or dating games, no emotional tug-of-war and no ambiguity about where it might be leading. Ironically, its probably the most honest type of relationship you can have.

No doubt, it takes its toll... monetarily and with how you perceive the reality of relationships. Half the battle is acknowledging those risks. The sad part is how many guys refuse to see those obvious pitfalls.
 
tboy said:
One thing that MIGHT spoil you tho is the fact that when you hobby, you are probably doing it with a really hot sexy lady where the ones you meet in real life, well, might not be more than average at best.
Click to expand...

That's interesting because the women I date tend to be better looking, on average, than the escorts I see. As I enjoy an escorts company as much her company, I wonder why I spend on their services when I could get as much enjoyment out of small-talk at Starbucks?:confused:
 
LOL@rub, doesn't that just grate on you? There's a couple of threads where I've agreed totally with a1player and it's like, fuck, get off my wavelength already lol.
 
MuffinMuncher said:
Especially with a great regular, there's no bullshit drama or dating games, no emotional tug-of-war and no ambiguity about where it might be leading. Ironically, its probably the most honest type of relationship you can have.
Click to expand...

That's the kicker, right there. The thing is, (and forgive me for sounding jaded here) when a relationship ends - usually badly... there are a lot of negative feelings/emotions involved. Particularly, if the lady starts spewing off about how it never really meant anything, or she never cared for you that much anyhow etc. - whether it's all venting or not - could leave you wondering why you didn't just stick with hobbying in the first place.
 
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