Am I missing chemicals/hormones in my head or body?

[Fifi_ulla]

This may sound silly but here goes.

For the last few years I have been in relationships with a couple of some sexy, wonderful girls who I found physically attractive. The weird thing is that while I love the attraction and can perform and orgasm, even MSOG, I prefer watching the woman orgasm and get more pleasure from it than my own pleasure from penetration. I think the best sex of my life was my last girlfriend who I was crazy about sexually and she could have multiple orgasms and I would actually stop myself or slow down just to watch her orgasm. But even with her I didn't enjoy penetration as much as I did watching her enjoy the act. I thought it was condoms that desensitise but even going bareback and multiple positions, oral, anal....it didn't make make it any more pleasurable (although I orgasmed faster). Obviously one question would be maybe it's the woman...but that's not it either. I tried with 2 separate SPs (I found them both very attractive and they turned me on before actually getting into the act) - one couldn't make me cum in a 1 hour session and while the other did...it was the same 'desensitised feeling'. I enjoyed watching both of them wriggle and moan and respond about how good it is...but that was more fun in my head than...well...my head down there.

I can masterbate, but it's more of a physical act to get release...like eating a meal to take care of hunger (except with sex it is the act itself for the sake of it and not for pleasurable)

Am I just going through depression, or is it a mental thing where I am missing some chemical hormone? I can't explain why I can be incredibly turned on and want to bang a womans brains out but once i'm inside her, its like my dick is desensitised and I enjoy being a voyeur instead watching her like a third party.

Anyone else been through this? Can a guy actually have a 'desensitized penis' or is it just a chemical shortfall in the brain to be treated with supplements or drugs?

Before anyone says it...no I am not gay. Males don't sexually turn me on...I can confirm women do.

 

[demien2k5]

Based on my internet-issued medical degree, I'd say you're very very ill. Likely terminal. See a lawyer. Set your affairs in order. The end is near(ish).

Seriously - you sound like every other normal male on the planet - all looking for that perfect girl, who can offer the perfect sexual, emotional and intellectual experience. Keep looking. She's out there. There is someone for everyone.

 

[Azprint]

It's a mental thing. We were raised in the age of virtual reality, the age where porn/sex/games/reality TV is all freely available through the screens of our computers/smartphones/tablets/laptops etc. There is no really point in getting off your ass physically and trying to get what you ultimately want, which is "love".

You're used to being an observer instead of go getter. That's why you get lost in the fantasy of somebody else making "love" instead of being a participant. The best advice I could give is stop being afraid and participate physically, regardless of consequences. Stop being afraid, and if it doesn't work out just move on to the next targets, girl/girls/boy/boys w/e your thing might be. And stop thinking of what others will think. I know it is banal, but it is the truth. You're trying to find an ideal girl, when there isn't one. Ideals were put in your head, try to find a woman who will be ideal for you. Who will understand and trust you for who you are, and you should love and take care of her back. That's one of the keys to happiness.

 

[GameBoy27]

Am I missing chemicals/hormones in my head or body?

I don't think there's anything wrong with you mentally or physically but rather your preference is to watch women orgasm. On the other hand, I would say you're going to have have problems in your relationships if you don't look after your partner's need, sexually speaking. I also get incredibly turned on by seeing/feeling a woman orgasm, whether it's as result of my touch or just watching her pleasure herself but thankfully don't have the desensitized penis you mentioned.

You should just be open with your sex partners, tell them what you like/don't like and make sure you keep them happy. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Now sit back and enjoy this.

http://www.pornyaz.com/13449/50-of-my-favorite-mixed-orgasms/?utm_source=awn&utm_medium=inc&utm_campaign=may2013#.U16iG1VdUxE

 

[wetnose]

Just curious - how often do you masturbate? Try going cold turkey for 30 days - no porn, no masturbation, no sexy thoughts at all. I did it for 16 (my best ever) and the results were interesting. Give it a try.

 

[DB123]

Just curious - how often do you masturbate? Try going cold turkey for 30 days - no porn, no masturbation, no sexy thoughts at all. I did it for 16 (my best ever) and the results were interesting. Give it a try.

Between going to the gym and walking through Eaton Centre (not to mention the odd short skirt on the train in the morning)...if I didn't have a release for 16 days I think I would do serious internal damage

 

[FearlessFreep]

Anyone else been through this? Can a guy actually have a 'desensitized penis' or is it just a chemical shortfall in the brain to be treated with supplements or drugs?

You're not alone. I also enjoy giving pleasure and am stimulated by women who respond to those efforts. It's partly age; those of us from late 40s to 60s will just take longer to have sexual release, and I wish it wasn't so because I would like to take advantage of the hh opportunities.

This is what I understand from my experience...I believe having sex with women half your age and more is somewhat intimidating. Yes she is gorgeous, and you feel as if you can pound away all day, but you can't relax the way you need to; you can't accept it as real I suppose. With sps closer to your own age the fantasy become more believable, and you relax more.

I've been seeing a coworker on the side for a few months...sex is wild and I always enjoy a great release. I see sps mainly for the bbbjs, and that is great with those in 30s and 40s. But, I still see the younger 20s as well, they are just so tempting, and not being able to cum is more the norm then.
Hope this helps.

 

[foxxxy lady]

This may sound silly but here goes.

For the last few years I have been in relationships with a couple of some sexy, wonderful girls who I found physically attractive. The weird thing is that while I love the attraction and can perform and orgasm, even MSOG, I prefer watching the woman orgasm and get more pleasure from it than my own pleasure from penetration. I think the best sex of my life was my last girlfriend who I was crazy about sexually and she could have multiple orgasms and I would actually stop myself or slow down just to watch her orgasm. But even with her I didn't enjoy penetration as much as I did watching her enjoy the act. I thought it was condoms that desensitise but even going bareback and multiple positions, oral, anal....it didn't make make it any more pleasurable (although I orgasmed faster). Obviously one question would be maybe it's the woman...but that's not it either. I tried with 2 separate SPs (I found them both very attractive and they turned me on before actually getting into the act) - one couldn't make me cum in a 1 hour session and while the other did...it was the same 'desensitised feeling'. I enjoyed watching both of them wriggle and moan and respond about how good it is...but that was more fun in my head than...well...my head down there.

I can masterbate, but it's more of a physical act to get release...like eating a meal to take care of hunger (except with sex it is the act itself for the sake of it and not for pleasurable)

Am I just going through depression, or is it a mental thing where I am missing some chemical hormone? I can't explain why I can be incredibly turned on and want to bang a womans brains out but once i'm inside her, its like my dick is desensitised and I enjoy being a voyeur instead watching her like a third party.

Anyone else been through this? Can a guy actually have a 'desensitized penis' or is it just a chemical shortfall in the brain to be treated with supplements or drugs?

Before anyone says it...no I am not gay. Males don't sexually turn me on...I can confirm women do.

buy this book, Plastic Brain Changes, It is at chapters, it may help

xo amber