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BennyhillTO

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Oct 5, 2021
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Looking for some advice. I've had this regular for some time and have had a weekly arrangement with her for 3 years and meet weekly for a muli hour appointments. The last 3 months it hasn't been working out for me. She has been touring a lot because she said it's been slow in the city and we haven't met up more then once or twice a month and it seems like she will continue touring in the future. I understand that it's a business and she needs to make money but it's not as fun anymore and it's becoming a chore to see her because I have to change my schedule around to see her when is actually is around.

I've found another provider that has better monthly availability that works well for me that I can visit weekly that I made arrangements with. What I'm asking is do you tell her it's not working out anymore? How would you go about it? I"m not even sure if she keeps on touring but if she isn't she probably will think I will be seeing her weekly. I still would ike to see her occasionally but not for a multi-hr anymore.
 
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BennyhillTO

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Oct 5, 2021
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oakvilleguy said:
There shouldn’t be any strings attached when seeing SPs. I would not say anything and just see the new one. I’d be curious if your regular said anything to you when she decided to tour.
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Yes and no. Kinda get the runway sometimes or she just cancels last min and sometimes she just tells me. I like her and probably will see her once in a while but I get that feeling she thinks I'm going to fill her schedule when she is back in town.
 
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LTO_3

Well-known member
Aug 27, 2004
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Since your meeting times with the first SP is now erratic because she's touring and you've found another SP who's scheduling works for you then build your relationship with the 2nd SP but don't just drop the first SP. Continue to see the first SP when you can when your schedules work. This gives you 2 options instead of just relying on seeing only 1 SP. Think of it has having 2 options, one on a regular basis and the other when she's available.

LTO_3
 
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BennyhillTO

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Oct 5, 2021
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LTO_3 said:
Since your meeting times with the first SP is now erratic because she's touring and you've found another SP who's scheduling works for you then build your relationship with the 2nd SP but don't just drop the first SP. Continue to see the first SP when you can when your schedules work. This gives you 2 options instead of just relying on seeing only 1 SP. Think of it has having 2 options, one on a regular basis and the other when she's available.

LTO_3
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That is what I was thinking but she is going to ask why I don't stop come as often and only for an hour.
 
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Butler1000

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2011
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BennyhillTO said:
Yes and no. Kinda get the runway sometimes or she just cancels last min and sometimes she just tells me. I like her and probably will see her once in a while but I get that feeling she thinks I'm going to fill her schedule when she is back in town.
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Dude.....

If she doesn't care enough to keep appointments or commit to a regular schedule you owe her nothing. The best thing you can do is go see another provider. They only miss you when you ain't there.

You may also find she doesn't miss you at all. And once the recession hits big time that will be on her.

And honestly every once in a while its good to remind providers you have options and will exercise them. So just taper off. Go a few months and get some variety.
 
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xix

Time Zone Traveller
Jul 27, 2002
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La la land
As everyone said above.
You don't owe her anything.
She no longer is number 1. Maybe number 3.

When she calls if you are not busy, and you want to see her go for it. But prepared for her to cancel you on purposely. She may on purpose be stringing you along ( carrot in front of the donkey ) or she may be monkey branching you around with higher clients. ( someone else is paying more for the same time ). You many not be her number 1 client. IF she canceled me after three times I dump her with no notification.
IF I don't say goodbye she is saved as a "just in case scenario one day" wild card.
I know regular civilian woman who are promiscuous who do this.

Your alpha SW is now your Charlie girl. It is life you move on, I have with many barbers, dentist, massage therapist and so on. Sure I miss a few, it's life.
 
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BennyhillTO

Member
Oct 5, 2021
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85
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Butler1000 said:
Dude.....

If she doesn't care enough to keep appointments or commit to a regular schedule you owe her nothing. The best thing you can do is go see another provider. They only miss you when you ain't there.

You may also find she doesn't miss you at all. And once the recession hits big time that will be on her.

And honestly every once in a while its good to remind providers you have options and will exercise them. So just taper off. Go a few months and get some variety.
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Hopefully we won't have a recession
 
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Andy Bernard

Member
Aug 30, 2025
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BennyhillTO said:
Looking for some advice. I've had this regular for some time and have had a weekly arrangement with her for 3 years and meet weekly for a muli hour appointments. The last 3 months it hasn't been working out for me. She has been touring a lot because she said it's been slow in the city and we haven't met up more then once or twice a month and it seems like she will continue touring in the future. I understand that it's a business and she needs to make money but it's not as fun anymore and it's becoming a chore to see her because I have to change my schedule around to see her when is actually is around.

I've found another provider that has better monthly availability that works well for me that I can visit weekly that I made arrangements with. What I'm asking is do you tell her it's not working out anymore? How would you go about it? I"m not even sure if she keeps on touring but if she isn't she probably will think I will be seeing her weekly. I still would ike to see her occasionally but not for a multi-hr anymore.
Click to expand...

Ghost her. Its what they do to us. Its only business, after all, which her actions are proof of.
 
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massman

Well-known member
Sep 8, 2001
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What I'm asking is do you tell her it's not working out anymore?

“Its not working out anymore”
 
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