Hello guys, I've been quite unlucky in finding a SP. So far I messaged 6 girls and I got 1 quick response followed by a ghost. Am I doing it wrong or is it that young guys and/or students have a bad reputation in this world? I've been mostly following the template on /r sexworkers. The only other thing that comes to my mind is that I present myself by my first name, should I give my full name? Thanks for your input.
24 yo student
- Thread starter Fantômisé
- Start date
Never give your full name. I use a text app for privacy and I always go by my first name only when I introduce myself and I’ve met my favourite providers this way. The text app is a turn off for them but I don’t care because privacy is very important to me. The thing that I found out to be annoying for them is too much texting. If you go straight to the point, book a time and be punctual, I don’t see why you would have a problem. You got to know what you want and who you want to see. This is exactly why this forum board is important. Do your homework here before booking, it’s important. Good luck
Hi there, just sharing a few of my thoughts from my perspective. I do see all legal ages and I know many of my girlfriends do as well, however there are some providers who have minimum age requirements due to having had bad experiences with younger clientele.
I have found however there are many excellent clients who are younger and just as many bad experiences with older gentlemen. Perhaps the difference is in how providers do their screening? I use what I like to call attitude-based screening; I find clients who have the right attitude turn out to be amazing 90% of the time! I also don’t take quickie dates which screens out a lot of transactional encounters that are not my cup of tea.
It would be helpful if you posted an example of an inquiry you might send to a provider so that we could see is what is not eliciting the response you’d like. I bet a lot of others are tripping on the same wires as you and not getting a response to their inquiries.
I have found however there are many excellent clients who are younger and just as many bad experiences with older gentlemen. Perhaps the difference is in how providers do their screening? I use what I like to call attitude-based screening; I find clients who have the right attitude turn out to be amazing 90% of the time! I also don’t take quickie dates which screens out a lot of transactional encounters that are not my cup of tea.
It would be helpful if you posted an example of an inquiry you might send to a provider so that we could see is what is not eliciting the response you’d like. I bet a lot of others are tripping on the same wires as you and not getting a response to their inquiries.
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Keep it polite and to the point.
"Hi, I'm Jack. I'd love to see you for an hour, do you have time Thursday afternoon?" or if you have service questions, "Hi, I'm Bob. Do you do X? If so, I'd love to see you for an hour Thursday after lunch."
You don't need to describe yourself or give any information that isn't specifically requested, and providers will stop responding if it seems like you're just wasting their time.
"Hi, I'm Jack. I'd love to see you for an hour, do you have time Thursday afternoon?" or if you have service questions, "Hi, I'm Bob. Do you do X? If so, I'd love to see you for an hour Thursday after lunch."
You don't need to describe yourself or give any information that isn't specifically requested, and providers will stop responding if it seems like you're just wasting their time.
I agree with the above
You want to put:
●Introduction/greeting
●Brief description of yourself
●What your looking for
●When your looking to book
●Any questions you may have
All while keeping the text short as possible and as few back and forth afterwards (ideally just to confirm) and in a respectful manner
These texts are trial and error, and what may be ideal for some ladies, others will want something different
Good luck!
You want to put:
●Introduction/greeting
●Brief description of yourself
●What your looking for
●When your looking to book
●Any questions you may have
All while keeping the text short as possible and as few back and forth afterwards (ideally just to confirm) and in a respectful manner
These texts are trial and error, and what may be ideal for some ladies, others will want something different
Good luck!
Great advice above guys 
A few other things that can be tripping wires:
Text Apps: Many providers screen these out and don’t respond whatsoever to text apps. If you require a text app for privacy, I would suggest trying the provider’s booking form first. If they don’t have one, you could try sending a message saying you are aware they don’t accept text apps however you have read through and are good with all their other policies and can offer a reference if they will consider booking you by text app.
Safe to respond: Some providers will not respond at all if they cannot respond within a few hours because they may be worried about your discretion. You can include that it is OK to respond to you at any time in your message.
Timeliness: There are many different types of SW business models. Some providers offer pre-bookings weeks and even months ahead whereas others work last minute and perhaps high volume. If a provider thinks that you have missed the window to connect, they will possibly not respond at all. So I think it is a good idea to mention that you are available at other times or dates based on the provider’s availability.
Tone & TMI: How you say things is as important as what you say. I would avoid greetings like, “hey babe” graphic or vulgar descriptions and sending pics.
Unnecessary Questions: Many clients will send a series of quite unnecessary questions that are already answered on our websites or through doing a small amount of research. To some degree answering questions is part of the job, but we may not always have time to answer a series of questions in the middle of a busy day! If you’re trying to make a same-day booking and sending questions, you might be shooting yourself in the foot by screening yourself out.
If you’re following all of the advice above, and you’re still not getting any responses, perhaps you are texting fake or scam ads? Most professional escorts want to make bookings so will get back to you! Please feel free to post a sample of what you’ve been sending out if you would like some feedback
A few other things that can be tripping wires:
Text Apps: Many providers screen these out and don’t respond whatsoever to text apps. If you require a text app for privacy, I would suggest trying the provider’s booking form first. If they don’t have one, you could try sending a message saying you are aware they don’t accept text apps however you have read through and are good with all their other policies and can offer a reference if they will consider booking you by text app.
Safe to respond: Some providers will not respond at all if they cannot respond within a few hours because they may be worried about your discretion. You can include that it is OK to respond to you at any time in your message.
Timeliness: There are many different types of SW business models. Some providers offer pre-bookings weeks and even months ahead whereas others work last minute and perhaps high volume. If a provider thinks that you have missed the window to connect, they will possibly not respond at all. So I think it is a good idea to mention that you are available at other times or dates based on the provider’s availability.
Tone & TMI: How you say things is as important as what you say. I would avoid greetings like, “hey babe” graphic or vulgar descriptions and sending pics.
Unnecessary Questions: Many clients will send a series of quite unnecessary questions that are already answered on our websites or through doing a small amount of research. To some degree answering questions is part of the job, but we may not always have time to answer a series of questions in the middle of a busy day! If you’re trying to make a same-day booking and sending questions, you might be shooting yourself in the foot by screening yourself out.
If you’re following all of the advice above, and you’re still not getting any responses, perhaps you are texting fake or scam ads? Most professional escorts want to make bookings so will get back to you! Please feel free to post a sample of what you’ve been sending out if you would like some feedback
Also, look at their bio (on whatever website of choice you are finding them) and look to see if they refer to their personal website. If they do, chances are good their site will have "when you contact me, please include the following..." along with what they offer and, most importantly, if there is anything off limits.
If they don't have a website, and you are grabbing their info off of Twitter alone, then go through their posts for the past month or so and see if they make mention of what they ask for when people reach out to them to book things.
Here is something I used over the summer when I reached out to someone who i was interested in connecting with, I sent the following:
"I stumbled across your Twitter (will never call it X) feed and was captivated.
I would love a chance to meet you sometime in early July and so would like to know more about you as well as what your services are.
Personally, I am a 50-year old white dude employed in the federal government who is a big fan of rock/alternative/grunge music, as well as working out (currently into kettlebells and running) to try to get rid of my COVID gut I developed. "
If they don't have a website, and you are grabbing their info off of Twitter alone, then go through their posts for the past month or so and see if they make mention of what they ask for when people reach out to them to book things.
Here is something I used over the summer when I reached out to someone who i was interested in connecting with, I sent the following:
"I stumbled across your Twitter (will never call it X) feed and was captivated.
I would love a chance to meet you sometime in early July and so would like to know more about you as well as what your services are.
Personally, I am a 50-year old white dude employed in the federal government who is a big fan of rock/alternative/grunge music, as well as working out (currently into kettlebells and running) to try to get rid of my COVID gut I developed. "
Curious if you find that level of disclosure successful generally? I’d expect it can cut both ways but obviously many ways to skin a cat. In my experience the politeness goes along way as well as only asking questions that aren’t in the info or found in other reliable sources as has been stated
It works for me. I have only once not gotten a response when reaching out to SPs when using an intro with that amount of info (or more).
If the SP has a website, I spend some time going through their website, looking at what they offer, what I would like, and go into more detail on when I would like to see them, what services I would like, etc.
Being polite never hurts.
If the SP has a website, I spend some time going through their website, looking at what they offer, what I would like, and go into more detail on when I would like to see them, what services I would like, etc.
Being polite never hurts.
Years ago I gave a lot of information like that in my opening texts and one SP basically told me that this isn't a Dating app, and she wasn't interested in knowing all that.
If you’re sifting through LL ads, a simple hello and an inquiry on rates and included services/restrictions is suffice to get a response in general. If you get a response, in most cases you can get a booking quite soon provided you’re to the point and not having a bunch of questions. Don’t need overthink things. Most providers on LL I think really aren’t that interested in details such as a name or background aside from those specifically requesting proper intros. I almost never provide a name or an alias and it’s never really been an issue.
Never heard anything sounds so complicated.
Keep it short and simple you just in a line up of many men booking a appointment with the same SP Its not match making on tinder
All you need to inquirie about is
availability
Rates
Services
Verification that pictures of her is actually her
Sometimes the lady maybe fully booked or unavailable or busy and can't respond to every text you might be one of a hundred men texting her so don't think that you are getting any special time or attention
Giving the lady too much information about full name occupation body type and personal likes and hobbies might seems creepy,/desperate and gives off the vibes of someone who might get easily attached & maybe a potential stalker and could be a red flag for many ladies.
Keep it short and simple you just in a line up of many men booking a appointment with the same SP Its not match making on tinder
All you need to inquirie about is
availability
Rates
Services
Verification that pictures of her is actually her
Sometimes the lady maybe fully booked or unavailable or busy and can't respond to every text you might be one of a hundred men texting her so don't think that you are getting any special time or attention
Giving the lady too much information about full name occupation body type and personal likes and hobbies might seems creepy,/desperate and gives off the vibes of someone who might get easily attached & maybe a potential stalker and could be a red flag for many ladies.
Verification picture ? The ladies that are real and not here to play games will ignore you after this request.
I don't ask the SP to send me a verification picture I just ask if pictures posted on LL are real and actually her and never had any issues. The SP using fake pictures won't respond
if the (majority) do not respond to you, then count yourself lucky, because the (majority) of the ads are fakes or scammers anyway.
finding something real or worthwhile will take effort, and require your skills at finding a needle in a haystack.
never reveal anything personal that can be traced back to you, (so use a text app) - and never pay in advance using e.transfer or gift cards, etc.
being ghosted is unfortunately very normal, but there are a lot of flakes out there - so maybe you dodged a whole lot of potential bad experiences.
don't rush any encounters, and remember that (you) are the paying customer, so your criteria in selection and expectation (which align with the providers "promises") are the most important.
finding something real or worthwhile will take effort, and require your skills at finding a needle in a haystack.
never reveal anything personal that can be traced back to you, (so use a text app) - and never pay in advance using e.transfer or gift cards, etc.
being ghosted is unfortunately very normal, but there are a lot of flakes out there - so maybe you dodged a whole lot of potential bad experiences.
don't rush any encounters, and remember that (you) are the paying customer, so your criteria in selection and expectation (which align with the providers "promises") are the most important.
Well, I understand this can be what some providers are looking for or at least fine with, sure. Please don’t speak for MOST providers though
Lots of others will not respond at all because this information is on their ad and/or website and you also haven’t bothered to include a booking inquiry with: your name (yes this is an alias but it’s polite and useful to say, “hi I’m George”) with the date, time, duration and the type of service you want. So this is a very weak and indirect approach IMHO. Weak from a business perspective and also is what we like to call, sorry to say, “small dick energy.” It makes you sound like a very low investment client writing dozens of girls at once.
I wouldn’t write any other business this way and expect to get a response TBH, especially a business with demand. Imagine if I wrote my desired roofer, “Hey, rates? Restrictions?” It’s just ineffective and probably annoying to them. This is a good way to get blocked by anyone who’s established TBH. And bad booking inquiries are one of the TOP complaints I hear providers bitching about and screening out clients based on!
You say not to overthink things but this is the one aspects of the transaction that costs you nothing to nail and IMHO you need to to pass an SPs gut-instinct screening, especially if they don’t ask for other screening. Your lack of investment on the booking inquiry just speaks volumes about you on a date—so it does matter and is worth spending some time crafting.
Do you need to include extra details about you? Pertinent ones should be included like mobility & the vibe you like in intimacy. That’s one or max two sentences. After that if you’d like to show your a superstar with a joke or something interesting that’s another sentence. Still short & sweet!
Too many potential clients are treating the booking inquiry with no to very low investment messages not realizing we are picking and choosing amongst these to skim the cream. A high value/investment message can be short and sweet but it’s also like a business card which can either make you stand out from the heard or flop to the bottom of the pile like a limp noodle.
If the idea of sending a high value inquiry is annoying to you, by all means, stick with what works for you since everyone is happier in their lane.
You seem to be trying to speak for most providers. However, the reality is that one need not write a paragraph introduction to get a response or to pass a provider’s gut instinct screening. For you, you might disregard the single hello and polite inquiry, but many providers will acknowledge it to start the convo exchange, especially when the medium being used is txt or DM. And I did qualify my statement by saying providers that post on LL.Well, I understand this can be what some providers are looking for or at least fine with, sure. Please don’t speak for MOST providers though
Lots of others will not respond at all because this information is on their ad and/or website and you also haven’t bothered to include a booking inquiry with: your name (yes this is an alias but it’s polite and useful to say, “hi I’m George”) with the date, time, duration and the type of service you want. So this is a very weak and indirect approach IMHO. Weak from a business perspective and also is what we like to call, sorry to say, “small dick energy.” It makes you sound like a very low investment client writing dozens of girls at once.
I wouldn’t write any other business this way and expect to get a response TBH, especially a business with demand. Imagine if I wrote my desired roofer, “Hey, rates? Restrictions?” It’s just ineffective and probably annoying to them. This is a good way to get blocked by anyone who’s established TBH. And bad booking inquiries are one of the TOP complaints I hear providers bitching about and screening out clients based on!
You say not to overthink things but this is the one aspects of the transaction that costs you nothing to nail and IMHO you need to to pass an SPs gut-instinct screening, especially if they don’t ask for other screening. Your lack of investment on the booking inquiry just speaks volumes about you on a date—so it does matter and is worth spending some time crafting.
Do you need to include extra details about you? Pertinent ones should be included like mobility & the vibe you like in intimacy. That’s one or max two sentences. After that if you’d like to show your a superstar with a joke or something interesting that’s another sentence. Still short & sweet!
Too many potential clients are treating the booking inquiry with no to very low investment messages not realizing we are picking and choosing amongst these to skim the cream. A high value/investment message can be short and sweet but it’s also like a business card which can either make you stand out from the heard or flop to the bottom of the pile like a limp noodle.
If the idea of sending a high value inquiry is annoying to you, by all means, stick with what works for you since everyone is happier in their lane.
A provider can get a vibe from the ensuing convo and likewise the client can get a vibe of the provider.
And never did I state or imply it was annoying to put in the extra effort to include more details. I’m intelligent enough to be able to observe the ad and communicate accordingly.
I’ve communicated with enough providers (including popular ones with social media presence and large followings) to know that it’s not absolutely necessary to write a paragraph intro to be acknowledged and to schedule a session. And just because I don’t include a name, it doesn’t make me unprofessional in my approach.
I don’t think I used the word “most” but said “lots of others” and I’m basing this off of nearly a decade of experience in this industry full time, networked with a variety of different SW groups, over three dozen duo partners, reading countless comments and posts to SW social media. A proper booking inquiry template is baked into Tryst’s messaging platform for a reason—it’s one of the top issues providers kvetch about.
And I wasn’t actually talking about myself here not responding to inquiries because even though I would say most from LL are weak, I do respond to them all. I use a different methodology than the bulk of my immediate colleagues but that’s another conversation.
To be clear, we are mainly getting, “Hi, rates and restrictions?” And that is not effective and comes off as impolite IMHO. I would never write a message like that to anyone I wanted to contract for any service. But something as simple as, “hi, I’m Raj and interested in connecting this week for 1hr if you have availability? I can meet most evenings after 6:30 and look forward to hearing back,” is exactly two sentences and already makes you stand out from the tire-kickers.
It’s interesting that suggesting taking the time to template a winning booking inquiry would be so controversial and triggering considering it costs nothing and takes so little effort. You’re welcome to disagree and carry on as you were, my suggestions were not addressed to you personally. I was responding to and trying to help the OP who said he wasn’t getting any messages back. Some gents may want to improve their booking game and so I’m offering some considerations from the perspective of a sex worker. Have a good one
