Just wanted to share one more key detail from my story... After the first 2 rounds we stopped using protection......
Interesting thing happened to me...What should I do now? (confused)
- Thread starter CH812
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If you're certain you potentially want to be a dad, unless she's on some form of birth control or you've been snipped, just be aware of the potential consequences if you're not snipped and she stops using birth control. And congrats to both of you for taking that next step in your relationship.
LTO_3
LTO_3
Why does this matter in your story?Just wanted to share one more key detail from my story... After the first 2 rounds we stopped using protection......
So you had a spontaneous good time. This was an unusual start to a ārelationshipā tho. As others have said, there are bunch of loaded areas for both of you in this.
If you are interested in pursuing this further, back off the intensity and start real dating. Get to know each other in real life. Amazing sex is confused by the brain as ālove/ connection/ bonding. ā Of course the two are related, and being with someone your really love who you have amazing sex with is incredible, but they are not interchangeable one to one.
Just remember that what you are feeling now is based on āthe best it can beā ie, carefree sex and spending time together isolated from the difficult realities of life. That is not real life, and not how you would have to live with each other. In an actual relationship.
Go on a number of almost platonic dates. See how you get along. While what you experienced was a great time, itās not 100% real life. You donāt know her at all. Trust me, Iāve got involved with a couple women based on times that were āthe best it could possibly beā then crashed hard when the reality hit.
If you are interested in pursuing this further, back off the intensity and start real dating. Get to know each other in real life. Amazing sex is confused by the brain as ālove/ connection/ bonding. ā Of course the two are related, and being with someone your really love who you have amazing sex with is incredible, but they are not interchangeable one to one.
Just remember that what you are feeling now is based on āthe best it can beā ie, carefree sex and spending time together isolated from the difficult realities of life. That is not real life, and not how you would have to live with each other. In an actual relationship.
Go on a number of almost platonic dates. See how you get along. While what you experienced was a great time, itās not 100% real life. You donāt know her at all. Trust me, Iāve got involved with a couple women based on times that were āthe best it could possibly beā then crashed hard when the reality hit.
A possibility to consider:Just wanted to share one more key detail from my story... After the first 2 rounds we stopped using protection......
Perhaps when you re-connected, she was already in the very early stages of pregnancy as a result of a tryst with some guy who had dumped her. Maybe she knows this from an over-the-counter urine test kit, but that information hadn't been shared with a doctor. She hadn't yet decided whether to carry the fetus to full term, or to have the pregnancy terminated. The former option might be her preference.
Along comes a different guy she's already had sex with, who exhibits signs of affluence, (the car). A scheme is hatched: she wants to have HIS baby, but she also wants YOU to be on the hook for 18 years of child support.
This may sound like a soap opera plot arc, but it has happened before, (not to me), and never to 'broke ass scrubs'. Potentially that plan has reached stage 2.
No one would/should pay 18 years of child support until all the paternity and DNA tests come back that prove you are the biological father.
Sounds to me like she's fishing you; don't fall for it. You weren't good enough in the past, but now that you're successful and she isn't, the stakes have changed. If you want to keep seeing her, PAY HER. If she won't accept money, stop seeing her.
And you know this... how?
Perhaps you have never read about something like that happening, so you have assumed that it has never happened?
Here are some examples when that might happen:
A married man who has a public profile and a lot of money has a short term affair which results in an unplanned pregnancy. Perhaps he is a member of a Royal family, or a political candidate, or a televangelist, or a guy who married a very wealthy woman to acquire the bulk of his assets.
The pregnant woman's lawyer contacts him, and gives him two options: Either he ponies up for child support without DNA proof that his boys did the deed, or the woman sells her story to the tabloid press. She may have next to no money of her own, so trying to sue her in civil court wouldn't do any good.
The guy agrees to an out of court settlement, to avoid the potential repercussions of a public scandal. In return, the woman agrees to a gag order which would prevent her from publicly disclosing the allegation.
Would and should are two different things. In the scenario described above, both would and should could be the more prudent choice.
OK, then I will change my statement
I would NOT pay 18 years of child support until....
Note, I am not part of any royal family, running for any office, a televangelist or married
I don't really want to be part of a public scandal, but doubt I ever would be.
If some one like the Mayor of Toronto bangs a 30 - something civic employee or does crack (not that either of those things would ever happen) it's front page news. If I did either of those things, the most anybody would do is shrug their shoulders.
I'm not doubting that something like this could happen or actually has happened.
I would NOT pay 18 years of child support until....
Note, I am not part of any royal family, running for any office, a televangelist or married
I don't really want to be part of a public scandal, but doubt I ever would be.
If some one like the Mayor of Toronto bangs a 30 - something civic employee or does crack (not that either of those things would ever happen) it's front page news. If I did either of those things, the most anybody would do is shrug their shoulders.
I'm not doubting that something like this could happen or actually has happened.
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What on earth were you thinking?Just wanted to share one more key detail from my story... After the first 2 rounds we stopped using protection......
Itās so obvious what sheās planning.
I guess you just canāt fix stupid.
Oh boy, tread lightly and don't fall too fast. Take your time. Be patient, stay cool, and let her reveal her intentions first, which could take months.
What kind of car do you drive?
What kind of car do you drive?
I was wondering the same thing, what car?.....Be patient, stay cool, and let her reveal her intentions first, which could take months.
What kind of car do you drive?
Does she really live with her mom?
Based on this new disclosure, it's doubtful that a woman would target you for paternity extortion. Your opinion might be considerably different if the potential threat was realistic. They wouldn't go after me, either.
The much greater threat to reputation is a sexual assault allegation. A big problem there is that the criminal code definition of sexual assault is not necessarily the same as how the term might be used on a social media forum.
Example: Woman X makes a social media post, claiming that Man Y sexually assaulted her in 2020. Perhaps he ghosted her after a one-night stand, and she regrets having consented to the act, so she 'feels' like she had been sexually assaulted because she misinterprets the phrase 'consent may be withdrawn at any time' to include after the fact. Even though the guy didn't do anything which is a criminal offence, the damage is done, irrevocably.
Some women would accept hush money as compensation. Others would prefer revenge and the sympathy vote from their followers.
That was incredibly stupid. How do you know if sheās disease free ? She could have AIDS for all you know. She could have been ovulatingJust wanted to share one more key detail from my story... After the first 2 rounds we stopped using protection......
I was going to say not to overthink it and just go with the flow to see what happens. And not to mess around with any ātestsā. If sheās being genuine and real and you test her then when she finds out then you can kiss her goodbye. She wonāt be happy with the test.
if she asks for money just walk away.
Ok she came by again on the weekend! and I did a small test... We were in my home office again and I had a bunch of papers and file folders on my desk and I placed a $50 bill in between the papers and when she was with me I made sure she was watching me as I jumbled through the papers so the $50 bill fell out and I pretended I didn't notice. My plan was to step out of the room and if i came back and if the $50 was gone I would've immediatley kicked her out of my place ($50 is a small price to pay to test a persons honesty and integrity) anyways right when the bill fell out she said "You dropped some money" so that was basically a pass.
Over the weekend, she still did not ask for any money but I did support everything (paid for all our drinks and food and an outing to a nice brunch spot).
And here is something I didnt expect.... Been feeling like I might be catching a cold because I have a sratchy throat so over text I told her this and without asking she offered to bring me some soup tonight when she finishes her shift (at the restaurant). So I thought that was a nice guesture.
So far she is showing me a different side to her I never got to know before... Going to continue with what we have so far and see where it goes........
Over the weekend, she still did not ask for any money but I did support everything (paid for all our drinks and food and an outing to a nice brunch spot).
And here is something I didnt expect.... Been feeling like I might be catching a cold because I have a sratchy throat so over text I told her this and without asking she offered to bring me some soup tonight when she finishes her shift (at the restaurant). So I thought that was a nice guesture.
So far she is showing me a different side to her I never got to know before... Going to continue with what we have so far and see where it goes........
