Indulge in Toronto, continue to work on marriage or both?
- Thread starter Newjackoff24
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I'm writing her an erotic story where another man sexually satisfies her. That's going to have to suffice, ha.
Actually the more I hear about your story, your wife is very open and adventurous. Assuming you also like her as a person and a companion, I would definitely stick with that
Who knows, your adventures might someday open her up to inviting a 3rd, either a SW or Poly/swinger type.
Who knows, your adventures might someday open her up to inviting a 3rd, either a SW or Poly/swinger type.
I would love to do one of those erotic cruise lines. Just to be around all the sex and talk to people, even if we didn't do anything. But it's not a sticking point with me. She went to a sex store with me last year and heck, that was amazing.
And I do like her. She's outdoing and fun, and we balance each other. We exchanged anniversary cards in May and hers is filled with praise and contentment (and this is in the midst of my very erotic and non-Catholic preferences that we've been experimenting with).
I probably need to not resent the fact that she won't take initiative on sex and be grateful that she's willing to try something new provided I lead.
If she’s a sane good person, be honest. I have guy friends and my own open relationships where I and them (male friends) are bluntly honest, “I am seeing other people” the guys in their marriage told their wives “there’s this list of concerns I need to work on as I feel I will need to look elsewhere and have my needs fur-filled.im not a bad person and this is why I need to discuss this and work on things”
many of wives freaked out but started to appreciate their husbands, improved their looks, tried for sex. As someone said if she’s trying, try it seems like you don’t want to venture out into this field. Talk to her honestly and sit her down and sus this is what I am feeling and I want to do, what can we do to improve. Many problems can be solved with open communication, (if she’s a normal person and it seems like she is) most religious couples the wife will follow and understand your needs as a man
many of wives freaked out but started to appreciate their husbands, improved their looks, tried for sex. As someone said if she’s trying, try it seems like you don’t want to venture out into this field. Talk to her honestly and sit her down and sus this is what I am feeling and I want to do, what can we do to improve. Many problems can be solved with open communication, (if she’s a normal person and it seems like she is) most religious couples the wife will follow and understand your needs as a man
She's made some significant strides, I have to give her that. Admitting my desires was hard, a lot of risk for me (she's a leader of sorts in our church) but I'm glad I did it. I plan to give her time to decompress from the last two months of crazy and see what happens. I bought refundable tickets so I can pull the trigger or cancel as things develop over next month.
This is exactly what I would have suggested! I know you want more sexual novelty, and it sounds like your wife is very good, giving and game. Oftentimes womens' sex drives are dependant on not being distracted from sex by other worries, preoccupations and insecurities, so making her feel supported and sexy tend to raise the frequency of her being in the mood.
As for swinging and polyamory, I highly recommend it! A lot of people try to get into the lifestyle without already being rock solid in their own relationships, but that doesn't remotely sound like a problem for you. I might suggest visiting a couples-only sex club, or an adults-only lifestyle-adjacent resort vacation; those spaces tend to have and enforce very strict codes of conduct and etiquette, and the clientele are very respectful of other people's personal and sexual boundaries. Meeting other couples and taking about how their relationships work might inspire you and your wife, or at the very least, seeing other couples have hot group sex might get your engines revving.
That desire for a novel new thrill is totally natural, and you should definitely pursue avenues where you and your wife can enjoy them together. I can tell that your relationship is very deep and meaningful, and even if you were to have your own clandestine sexy adventure, I can't help but think that the feeling of hurting or leaving out the woman you love would impede your enjoyment.
There is a book on Amazon called "The Married Man's Sex Guide" by Athol Kay. Buy it and read it with an open mind. It is very informative And added huge improvement to my life and marriage.
Okay. I think I have the solution. Blast away if you want to.
We have a wife who loves fantasy, including about sex. Like in high school where a chick might go steady with a guy for weeks or months before the Big Event, which was led up to be teasing in which she evaluated how much she was in control. Most were basically doms back then but couldn’t buy the outfits and implements. They did a lot of sexual fantasizing back then during the interim. This chick still loves sexual fantasy and likes lots of time between the events. Fantasy life very active in other areas, as she is religious and wants the Gates to be opened by St. Peter and embrace Jesus, from whom romantic porn character Fabian is based.
Husband loves wife but wants more sex than what we gets during the Big Event which is often a couple of months apart. Husband has brilliant idea of writing erotic fiction for wife to enhance her imagination and libido. Quality of writing and generation of ideas acceptable to female is unknown.
Husband is not on a collar and leash (not meant to be kinky) and has freedom of movement and travel.
My solution is to find a Toronto escort who is at least mid or late 20s or 30s or 40s who offers roleplay, kink, and is educated. Plenty of independents like that, and sorry to always plug my favorite group, but there are allot of ladies with Allegra Collective who would be perfect. You would book longer sessions, like 1.5 or 2.0 hours, once a month. During the first part of the session, you will fuck her and not feel one bit bad about it. Not one fucking bit.
Then you will have the escort help you with ideas for the erotic fiction stories designed to stimulate your wife. Many high-end escorts are educated in The Arts and do sex work because The Arts don’t pay jack shit. Those escorts fantasize all the fucking time to have sex with guys they don’t know. They are mostly bisexual and understand what turns women on.
I couldn’t write erotic fiction for a female audience without female consultation. And you need ideas that your wife thinks came from you and a fertile imagination she didn’t know you have.
You won‘t get caught, but if you do, just don’t mention fucking the escort for the first part of the session.
Soon wifey will be happy and horney, and if you need something to fantasize about while fucking your wife, you can think about your favorite hooker.
We have a wife who loves fantasy, including about sex. Like in high school where a chick might go steady with a guy for weeks or months before the Big Event, which was led up to be teasing in which she evaluated how much she was in control. Most were basically doms back then but couldn’t buy the outfits and implements. They did a lot of sexual fantasizing back then during the interim. This chick still loves sexual fantasy and likes lots of time between the events. Fantasy life very active in other areas, as she is religious and wants the Gates to be opened by St. Peter and embrace Jesus, from whom romantic porn character Fabian is based.
Husband loves wife but wants more sex than what we gets during the Big Event which is often a couple of months apart. Husband has brilliant idea of writing erotic fiction for wife to enhance her imagination and libido. Quality of writing and generation of ideas acceptable to female is unknown.
Husband is not on a collar and leash (not meant to be kinky) and has freedom of movement and travel.
My solution is to find a Toronto escort who is at least mid or late 20s or 30s or 40s who offers roleplay, kink, and is educated. Plenty of independents like that, and sorry to always plug my favorite group, but there are allot of ladies with Allegra Collective who would be perfect. You would book longer sessions, like 1.5 or 2.0 hours, once a month. During the first part of the session, you will fuck her and not feel one bit bad about it. Not one fucking bit.
Then you will have the escort help you with ideas for the erotic fiction stories designed to stimulate your wife. Many high-end escorts are educated in The Arts and do sex work because The Arts don’t pay jack shit. Those escorts fantasize all the fucking time to have sex with guys they don’t know. They are mostly bisexual and understand what turns women on.
I couldn’t write erotic fiction for a female audience without female consultation. And you need ideas that your wife thinks came from you and a fertile imagination she didn’t know you have.
You won‘t get caught, but if you do, just don’t mention fucking the escort for the first part of the session.
Soon wifey will be happy and horney, and if you need something to fantasize about while fucking your wife, you can think about your favorite hooker.
Most of these "solutions" look like a quick road to an empty one bedroom apartment after your now ex-wife takes all your stuff and has you on crippling alimony payments, but I'm not religious.
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I have done a lesser form of this, basically online cam to cam video (but I usually turn mine off) with women. Sometimes I just jacked off but most time we would talk about my wife, my plans and I would get an opinion from a sexually open women. I will say I thoroughly enjoyed jacking off online with women, especially having them watch me blow a load, but to be honest, I enjoyed the conversation even more. Usually it was just talk without anything else.
If my wife and I are connecting I don't feel a need to continue that sort of online masturbation outlet.
I think your solution is a back up if things don't work out and my wife does a 180. But even then, I wouldn't want full service sexual contact. I'd be happy to watch at a sex club and go to a spa for a hand job and I would probably do a lot of online cam model sessions.
We had sex yesterday and she mentioned that, being able to let go with everything that has kept us both busy and preoccupied the last two months.
I mentioned finishing the erotic story with her and her lover and she is down with it! So that's a good sign.
if I'm going to be honest with myself I don't ever see her getting into swinging. The Catholic side of her wouldn't permit. But I would consider it a win to write about the fantasy and she enjoys it. But I've kind of already done that...? This story about her fucking another man, I mean that's kind of getting there. I'll know how it goes this week because we decided to do it in next few days. If we can do that and she is comfortable and cumming afterwards and having fun then I'll know. I would then like to write a story where I accidentally book a sex cruise and how we handle that.
I do enjoy the novelty and when she is open to that, that's when I feel like we are really connecting.
I know it is a stereotype, but I think high-end escorts have more to offer regarding advice and creativity on relationships and women, than massage ladies and cam girls do.
I think you would enjoy this guy’s thoughts. He is really smart.
One of the most fascinating parts is his recollection of the beautiful woman who he asked when the problems started. She said he no longer put thought into buying her a variety of granola and keeping the little granola containers filled. Her response to this was to stop giving him blowjobs.
It sounds like you have a high-maintenance wife. Hopefully she is beautiful.
I'll check him out. Yes, wife is attractive. I see men looking at her (even at church, ha) and she has a happy, bubbly personality. She looks Mediterranean.
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You do you and cover your tracks.
As for your wife - sex every 2 or 3 weeks and real efforts to be more open and creative?
You sound like a spoiled child to me on that one. You have nothing to complain about after 25+ years of marriage on the home sex front. Your wife is a prize!
As for your wife - sex every 2 or 3 weeks and real efforts to be more open and creative?
You sound like a spoiled child to me on that one. You have nothing to complain about after 25+ years of marriage on the home sex front. Your wife is a prize!
Do you write this erotic fiction longhand, or on the computer.
Your own computer, or a shared one?
I would be concerned with a church active wife that if I wrote a story of the 18-year old senior girl in Catholic school who got a really hard spanking from the female principal, and that girl was secretly dating the fellow high-school senior daughter of that principal who objected to homosexuality, and she sneaks into the basement of her secret girlfriend’s house where they eat each other out for hours and plan some revenge on the hated principal mom upstairs, that maybe such file might get inadvertently attached as your wife’s required suggestion for food to bring to Bingo Night, and everyone reads it and they chant and toss holy water on me the next Sunday as an exorcism.
Wow, I didn't realize having sex every 2-3 weeks was the gold standard!!
And she is making more effort, based on me being more open with her and challenging conventions. And I appreciate that. As long as she does that and continues to prioritize us in and outside the bedroom, I'm good. The whole point of the post is what do I do if she does a 180 and goes back to the old ways, because me just being a provider and being along for the ride is not good enough for me anymore.
On the computer. Password protected. And I store them long term on an encrypted hard drive. I prefer infidelity type genre where she's getting sexually satisfied by an attractive friend with a slightly larger cock. And she just lets loose and enjoys herself. Or we go to a sex club together and watch and masturbate each other.
Wise. Chicks love effort. Erotic fiction like that is better than the old “mix tapes” guys made for them before music was instantaneously available.
great thread.
I gotta say your sex life sounds pretty good to me. I've been in a relationship where for the last 13 of 16 years I'm getting sexual intimacy 2-10 times a year. I've been sinking further into the dumps for a decade, but I'm trying to focus on working on myself and my side of the relationship instead of hoping it will change or I find the key to unlocking her sexual desire again. So if you please, allow me to work on my self through analyzing your predicament....on this escort board lol.
Honestly, This erotic story thing sounds like a great way to connect. It allows you to escape into fantasy together, but it can also be used in a way to test the waters on different things that may excite you. Why not write a subplot about you having sex with someone. Maybe she brings her friend over? meet another couple? She hires an escort to please you. I've got it! You "find out" about cam websites and meet with this hot woman but her face is obscured. You have an amazing connection and cum so hard BUT THEN you realize that you are jerking off with YOUR WIFE!!!! Or do the reverse if you think it'll rock your cuck fantasy and/or her being a hotwife. Just keep exploring these fantasies, because the fact that you can do this together is fucking GIFT!
One issue I'm seeing is you keep saying something to the nature of, "If A and B doesn't happen like it's supposed to, then I'm going to do C." In a way, its fantasizing about this escape. In another its creating this internal threat that will justify your potential actions. I've learned this is called a "covert contract", which is a contract that is likely to be breached because she is not privy to the fact you've drafted it in your head and signed it on her behalf. We're both here fantasizing about having sex with these women, which is fun, and would probably feel good for a bit, but it sounds like an actual breach of contract to your committed relationship, and probably pretty self-destructive subconciously (plus the girls probably don't match the pics).
In the end, it sounds like you being direct in expressing your needs has worked well in the past as you saw a noticeable shift in your relationship. I think that is huge and it's telling you something major. Not sure the circumstances of how she brought the trip and how you reacted (was missing the anniversary directly mentioned in the plans?), but it sounds like you should talk to your wife honestly about how her being away affected you. "Hey, I know I said it was fine that you were away. I love your commitment to your faith, but after reflecting, I realize that our 25th did mean a lot to me and I felt sad we didn't get to spend it together. I just wanted to tell you instead of keeping it in." then maybe you could plan something to celebrate this milestone in another way. Why not take a trip to Toronto together?
I gotta say your sex life sounds pretty good to me. I've been in a relationship where for the last 13 of 16 years I'm getting sexual intimacy 2-10 times a year. I've been sinking further into the dumps for a decade, but I'm trying to focus on working on myself and my side of the relationship instead of hoping it will change or I find the key to unlocking her sexual desire again. So if you please, allow me to work on my self through analyzing your predicament....on this escort board lol.
Honestly, This erotic story thing sounds like a great way to connect. It allows you to escape into fantasy together, but it can also be used in a way to test the waters on different things that may excite you. Why not write a subplot about you having sex with someone. Maybe she brings her friend over? meet another couple? She hires an escort to please you. I've got it! You "find out" about cam websites and meet with this hot woman but her face is obscured. You have an amazing connection and cum so hard BUT THEN you realize that you are jerking off with YOUR WIFE!!!! Or do the reverse if you think it'll rock your cuck fantasy and/or her being a hotwife. Just keep exploring these fantasies, because the fact that you can do this together is fucking GIFT!
One issue I'm seeing is you keep saying something to the nature of, "If A and B doesn't happen like it's supposed to, then I'm going to do C." In a way, its fantasizing about this escape. In another its creating this internal threat that will justify your potential actions. I've learned this is called a "covert contract", which is a contract that is likely to be breached because she is not privy to the fact you've drafted it in your head and signed it on her behalf. We're both here fantasizing about having sex with these women, which is fun, and would probably feel good for a bit, but it sounds like an actual breach of contract to your committed relationship, and probably pretty self-destructive subconciously (plus the girls probably don't match the pics).
In the end, it sounds like you being direct in expressing your needs has worked well in the past as you saw a noticeable shift in your relationship. I think that is huge and it's telling you something major. Not sure the circumstances of how she brought the trip and how you reacted (was missing the anniversary directly mentioned in the plans?), but it sounds like you should talk to your wife honestly about how her being away affected you. "Hey, I know I said it was fine that you were away. I love your commitment to your faith, but after reflecting, I realize that our 25th did mean a lot to me and I felt sad we didn't get to spend it together. I just wanted to tell you instead of keeping it in." then maybe you could plan something to celebrate this milestone in another way. Why not take a trip to Toronto together?
