I'm not an expert but don't you think visiting porn sites adds fuel to the fire?
Addiction help
- Thread starter ajithbhay
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You would think so, but I can only speak for myself. I'm presently single, but have a high sex drive. By partaking in internet porn, I save myself thousands and thousands of dollars a year. Internet porn has literally saved me from declaring bankruptcy. With that being said, when I do occasionally see an SP, I have a lot of performance issues because I'm so used to porn. Sometimes I'm on pornhub and other porn websites for 5 hrs straight.
I admit I have a porn addiction, but it's financially better for me, then having an SP addiction. On another subject, if I was married or in a relationship, and was seeing SP's behind my wife's or girlfriends back, I would have trouble doing it, as I'm a bad liar. I totally admire married guys on terb, who can lead double lives etc. For example, seeing SP's on their lunch break, and then coming home to their wife of girlfriend at night, like nothing happened during the day.
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Yes, but if you're watching porn again, you're not spending money. I agree with you. The porn cycle will keep repeating itself.
Yea to me this is the thing, porn just adds fuel to the fire because it makes you want to experience that same feeling that you're watching. So seeing a SP is the easiest thing to do. I thought the same thing, "oh if I get the urge just jerk off" but it made me wanted to get a BJ more.
Don’t find this funny at all the most infuriating thing a client can do is just ghost a SP they just booked
i think id rather be addicted to a real life interaction even if it drains my bank account, idk the way u phrase internet porn is very dystopian/black mirror to me. but to each their own what works for u works for u
like insane, what goes around comes around. people who leave ppl in the dark, waiting are scumDon’t find this funny at all the most infuriating thing a client can do is just ghost a SP they just booked
We maintain open communication on everything. Nothing wrong with spicing things up in the bedroom with others, but we've spent years developing that trust, that sex with others doesn't make things turn messy. Some people here clearly don't have much conversation re sex with their partners (or know how to initiate it well). You can't pigeon hole all woman as fitting in "x" category nor the same for men.
That's not how addiction works my friend!
If people could just stop after being in so deep there would be no such thing as addiction and rehab would be non-existent! Addiction is both mental and physical torment and asking for help isn't a bad thing if you find you're genuinely having a hard time doing it alone. If a person feels they've tried everything then their desire to seek support, advice, tools and resources actually shows that they really are serious about stopping and working on ways to work through whatever it is that triggers such urges!
When you get those urges do you ever think of ways to redirect that towards your wife? Or if the spark is gone have you guys talked about how to make it exciting again? Have you tried roleplay? Have her pretend to be an escort and after work show up to her "incall", pay her and you know the rest lol I'm not a guy so I don't know the perspective of having a wife and being on the hunt for more but if you've already tried talking to her about your physical desires and urges to be touched, ravaged and wanted... you've already tried to spice things up in the bedroom and you've already tried talking to her about what she needs from YOU in order to feel sexually charged for you more often... then my only other suggestions are couples counselling.
OR
I've even seen instances where some guys try to bypass this guilt of hiding this lifestyle by seeing if their wife is open to hiring an escort together but they had to gauge her interest slowly over time. If she agrees eventually then hubby gets to have his cake and eat it too! A couple I know in particular now hires me and/or someone else every year for their anniversary and sometimes for valentines day. The husband explained to the wife that hiring a professional is no drama, no strings attached, open, honest, upfront and more likely to have the best time because a professional would obviously know what they are doing. Now although this means they can't play as often as they would like, to them its a great compromise and something is better than nothing. Especially if you've been in the relationship for a long time. Great way to start the conversation is to mention how you had a fantasy or even a dream that your wife was making out with a woman and it turned you on so much. Then ask her how she feels about it or if it would be something SHE would enjoy too. Some women its a hard NO and so this route would never work but others are either readily open to it or can be warmed up to the idea over time.
In any case, I hope something from this helps you or gives you some ideas of what to do next. I wish you the best of luck!
That's exactly why I suggested he tell his family to help him work through it. I never suggested he do anything alone, he just hasn't had to suffer the consequences of his decisions, whatever pain he holds is internal. Some people require getting caught before being "motivated" to make changes. Others are able to change their course, with family being a good support structure for many people.That's not how addiction works my friend!
$20K in debt for this hobby is really not a material amount especially if one has engaged for decades.
That was 20k going into debt by borrowing money to see SPs in less than 2 years. That's a problem especially when he had other payments to make taking care of things at home. And thankfully he resolved that.
LTO_3
You're not spending money, but your perception of sex and relationships remain distorted. I'm not against porn but I see how the mainstream porn industry affects people, and it's not good..
I think referring to this as a ''hobby'' isn't helping anyone here. Most of my clients are not sex addicts, but I have seen some who have addictive behavior around seeing escorts or are getting into it.. And honestly I felt like as an escort, I was just enabling them. I think it's worth exploring what is behind it. When you're addicted to sex you start dehumanizing others..
People get addictions because they don't have good coping mechanisms and there's a void to fill. You fill this void with other things, creative endeavors, hobbies, reading, nature, etc.. Volunteering and helping others is always good.
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I only got ahold of my addictions when I became so miserable with my status quo that not changing was simply no longer possible. It’s not that you have to hit “rock bottom” in every sense, but I think emotionally you do.
I think it may be hard for you to quit them because you already have a great life with a woman and children who love you.
I think it may be hard for you to quit them because you already have a great life with a woman and children who love you.
My experience has been that quitting isn’t actually the hard part. The hard part is coming to the realization that your behaviours aren’t helping you.
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Hi Luna, I respectfully disagree with you. In my opinion, if you're going to have an addiction, porn is the best addiction to have. Reason being, it doesn't cost you any money.
I think my porn addiction is helping me, because it's helping me to save money. As opposed to having such addictions, as sports gambling, being a shopaholic, or being addicted to constantly seeing SP's, when you have to go into debt to maintain the "hobbying" lifestyle.
