I'm moving on to bigger an better things soon and I'm curious if I should tell my employer....

[SinnamonFairbanks]

I am moving on to different employment gradually. I am currently looking for a hairstyling apprenticeship and I'm wondering if I should be honest about what I've been doing for the past 20 years. I feel like there are a lot of transferrable skills. While I have maintained other employment there are huge gaps in my resume where I was doing sex work or holding multiple jobs in sex work. It is agonizing having to lie all the time and act like all I've done is some dead end job. Hairstyling isn't a glorious job but it's something I would love doing and something I am passionate about. I'm just not sure which is worse, huge gaps in my resume or just telling the truth. I'm not ashamed of it, but I'm supposed to act like I am to spare other people's feelings and so they dont get all worked up about it. I just think it's weird that I have to do that. I'll do it if I have to but it would be nice if I didn't have to. I'm not the first sex worker to leave sex work and I have a hard time believing I'll be the only person who ever engaged in sex work in a salon full of women lol.

I've been lucky where I have worked at a bunch of place where my bosses were generally the first to talk about their experiences in sex work. One admitted to being a madame, another in porn and a few dabbled in selling pics and having a sugar daddy. Those are my people lol. I just feel like it's really hard to have to pretend all the time that I'm something other than what I am. I feel like an imposter when I show up and have to hide everything about my life.

What would you do?

Also, if you have any leads on a place that would take on an apprentice ESPECIALLY if they're sex worker friendly or former sex workers, that would be amazing!

I've always wanted to do outreach and I really want to do work in old age homes and women's shelters and help vulnerable people feel good again. It's just a haircut but I know how some people will put themselves last and I want to help people feel good and prioritize themselves. A good haircut always makes people feel good and lifts their spirits.

I would honestly love to open my own place one day and always have my door open for people that want to leave sex work. I always found the people with the shadiest pasts made the best bosses and business owners. They know what it takes to succeed by any means necessary and I can respect that.

 

[Shaquille Oatmeal]

I would try it out with one prospective employer who isn't your first preference.
See how they react.
Otherwise generally, in my opinion, the civie world does not react well to sex workers or people who see sex workers.

 

[The Oracle]

Bury it...There's too may judgmental people out there.

If you have skills no one will who's worth nickle will care about your past.

 

[poorboy]

Employers are more accepting of women having large gaps in their employment as men are still by and large seen as the bread winners, so it will be easy to make up a plausible story.

Since you are in a military town, you can say your husband was in the RCAF and was posted to different bases where jobs were tight, but now you're divorced, or you took time off to raise your children, etc.

Sex work is not seen as legitimate employment in North America, so best to keep it quiet.

 

[xix]

I never had an Employer ask about my gaps. If they do I simply say on holidays or taking care myself or worked in a minimal job that not need to be mentioned.
They never check anyways.
I seen people lied on their resume in ways you cannot imagine.
Companies don't even check if you actually graduated from the University / College although any regular Joe / Jane can with check or verify your graduation with out any permission from anyone.

Now unless you apply for management they make check social media, if they have a HR department. If mama / pops place and check it is not worth it.

I only list the last employer - which I fudge the time - they never check. If you are going to a small place like mom / pops place and they check, I run. Those people have issues in ways you cannot imagine.


Quote
I've been lucky where I have worked at a bunch of place where my bosses were generally the first to talk about their experiences in sex work.

They are not smart.

 

[JohnHenry]

You might ask Samantha Jones. For a while she offered a haircut within a session.

 

[richaceg]

Your utmost goal is to better yourself and to benefit yourself and nobody else.

 

[Jenesis]

I wouldn’t say anything and if asked, you were helping take care of family. Be that helping a sister or a grandmother or whatever.

 

[that6969]

You should never disclose that you were a sex worker. Lots of people are judgmental. I'd even say be careful informing close friends too because people can backstab you or try and use it against you if they aren't getting something in return from you or get jealous. I agree with Jenesis about the explanation to give about the gap. A small white lie isn't going to hurt anyone. And since many women do take time off to take care of someone that should work easily. Just say your step sis or aunt had cancer. No need to go into more details about it with anyone. And generally people don't ask too many questions regarding that when hiring ya.

 

[that6969]

Another thing I should mention because you come off nice in your post is some bosses and workers eventually have a bad day and can lash out at ya bringing up your past. In this case you could start an argument or just keep quiet in hopes you don't lose your job. This can happen after a few months or years. Even though weed was legalized a few years back I didn't tell many co-workers I smoked very little. I eventually blurted it out to someone during a casual convo at work and this guy showed signs of jealously and stuff towards me along with having a higher position than me so he'd at times say things in a snarky tone asking if I was high or something stupid when I only smoked a bit after work. And this guy generally drank hard liquor often after work and I wasn't in the mood to start anything. I once did lash out where I ended up apologizing just to keep the position at that time. I've heard of stuff like this from people who also work at pot shops and other places. Where management or such will dish out certain remarks toward an employee of lower status and if you say things back they can let you go over it. It's annoying, but that's how the real world operators. Just some elderly advice based on experience and such.

 

[Goodoer]

+1 for not saying anything about being a sex worker.

 

[southpaw]

Yes, tell them everything. Honesty is the best policy. I always tell prospective employers about my hobbying. They don't have to worry about sexual harassment with me because I outsource that function to temp agencies.

 

[cumstainz]

Don't tell them you were a SW, women coworkers can be despicable vindictive people. Make a resume where you worked in another city as a server or in retail and they went out of business. Tell them you lived out west for 18 years and make up a couple fake companies that went out of business. You worked in a restaurant in red deer or spruce grove that closed when the owners retired. Tell them you were in a relationship out there that eventually ended so you came home.

 

[that6969]

Yeah a lot of women tend to talk behind each others back. I've witnessed this first hand at some jobs once the person leaves the area. It's crazy how many people gossip and backstab then act all friendly. A lot of the times these "friends" or "families" once you leave the job to go else where even stop talking to you. It's just how life tends to work. Coworkers are meh.

 

[Knuckle Ball]

I don’t know if there is a right or wrong answer. There is certainly concern that potential employers may judge you. On the other hand, if the employer knows up front and hires you anyway then you know they have accepted your history as a sex worker and are cool with it.

There are probably more who will judge negatively but if you are not in a rush to start the apprenticeship and have the time to look then finding a place that is accepting from the beginning might be worth the extra work in finding it?

I dunno…anyway…Good luck and best wishes.

Please keep us posted on what you decide to do and how it goes?

 

[shack]

A simple rule of thumb that I go by is "Don't give people any more information than you need to."

Knowledge is power and once they have that knowledge you have no control over how they are going to use it. Somebody may be your best friend and then an enemy the next.

It may be a very cynical outlook, but it is 100% valid.

 

[Butler1000]

So have you looked into hair cutting school? Not so much to learn but they generally get you into apprenticeship as part of the program. Co op is common. That way you don't even need to worry over gaps.

 

[wiskey bravo]

I wouldn’t say anything and if asked, you were helping take care of family. Be that helping a sister or a grandmother or whatever.

This is where my head is at too. Perfect answer. People LOVE gossip these days. You're providing a window of opportunity for other's to judge or talk bad about you. Maybe not initially but if you screw up they will. There's too many crappy people out there.

Good luck. Congrats on finding something you're excited about. Have fun.

 

[wiskey bravo]

Also, hairstyling is known to be very competitive. I can see someone knowing your past, sharing that with a client, putting a bad spin to it which at the end of the day will effect our income. Your transparent spirit is admired, however, like i said in my previous post, too many crappy people who would love to knock you down to better themselves financially. At this stage of the game you need everyone on your side. When your business is up and booming then maybe you can share. But for now focus on being that eager learner. No one needs to know. It wont benefit you in any way. Share later after you built your brand and people trust you.

 

[io2471]

Hopefully you reach your goals and get your own place. There are few joys in life greater than an attractive hairstylist that knows how to pander to the sensibilities of men. A pretty lady, with a flirtatious vibe doing something for you you cant do yourself.