Too Comfortable

[Toast3d]

This makes no sense to me whatsoever because I did not complain about the level of service. What I did complain about was the timely fashion and the level of professionalism and how she appeared when she came over. Both of these things are standard in most jobs…to be on time and to look professional when you go to work. Are you telling me that this is an unrealistic ask? Most women in the workforce work five days. I’m only having her come over to 2 to 3 times per week at a PREMIUM rate!

Ruby acknowledges that this is unprofessional behaviour - Nobody is really disagreeing with you here, she's just trying to give some insight on what this lady *might* be experiencing.

Your comparison to "women in the workforce" is pretty disconnected from reality though.. It's a completely different lifestyle with different perks and problems. You do realize that your arrangement was completely abnormal in this industry, right? I'm more surprised that you wanted this to begin with and that you didn't get bored of her earlier.. I can barely see the same SP more than like 3-4 times before needing to mix things up lol.

In any case, the lady dropped the ball and you moved on. The punctuality part shouldn't ever happen even if she got casual with you. Your choice, her loss.

What confuses me about this whole story is that you didn't really seem to be clear to her about "shape up or ship out". Sure you made some comments and asked her to be punctual but it's not clear if you ever gave her an ultimatum before cutting her off? If you really want this type of arrangement in the future, learn from this mistake and just be very clear with them upfront that if ever they aren't punctual and not up to par that you will be moving on..

Also.. sounds like you wanted more of a SB than an SP? Have you considered this route?

 

[Tango Urilla]

Had sugar babies before, not interested as they not only expect an allowance but want me to buy them things, pay their rent, cars etc... No thanks! I’m more than generous but sugar babies expect way too much. I get it, that’s sugaring but that’s exactly what I’m NOT looking for!

 

[dankdaddy]

Had sugar babies before, not interested as they not only expect an allowance but want me to buy them things, pay their rent, cars etc... No thanks! I’m more than generous but sugar babies expect way too much. I get it, that’s sugaring but that’s exactly what I’m NOT looking for!

It absolutely blows my mind that dudes actually do this.

 

[Tango Urilla]

It absolutely blows my mind that dudes actually do this.

Yup, I realized that world is not for me!

 

[Toast3d]

Had sugar babies before, not interested as they not only expect an allowance but want me to buy them things, pay their rent, cars etc... No thanks! I’m more than generous but sugar babies expect way too much. I get it, that’s sugaring but that’s exactly what I’m NOT looking for!

Don't take this the wrong way but the common thread here is that you're unable to set ground rules and as a result are getting taken advantage of/stepped on. Be clearer about what you will and will not tolerate and realize that you are allowed to set rules and boundaries. If you present yourself as a rich guy with no rules can you really be surprised that they see you as exploitable?

 

[Tango Urilla]

Don't take this the wrong way but the common thread here is that you're unable to set ground rules and as a result are getting taken advantage of/stepped on. Be clearer about what you will and will not tolerate and realize that you are allowed to set rules and boundaries. If you present yourself as a rich guy with no rules can you really be surprised that they see you as exploitable?

Yup, good advice. I’m learning as I go!

 

[Theredmilf]

Yeah I'd definitely also turn down a solid $2k a week because working 3 hours 3 times a week sounds exhausting. Poor lady I hope she's recovering from the stress ok.

You’re misunderstanding, I never said this lady was a victim but that seeing the same person three times a week on an ongoing basis is a lot IMHO. I can see how normal professional standards might slide.

It’s a great industry but it’s not for everyone and not nearly as effortless as you’re making it sound. Sometimes it’s better to say no or see someone else if I don’t think I can meet someone’s expectations. Unfortunately, not everyone is in a place to turn down money.

 

[CuddleBuddy2]

As the saying goes " Familiarity breeds contempt".
Try seeing someone no more than once a week and see if things improve. Reduce frequency until desired results are achieved. If nothing works, then move on. Plenty of Fish....

 

[Capital Amatuer]

For $2k a week, I'd put makeup on, dress to the 9's and be there ready to ring the doorbell at the precise time

Seriously, there's he said, she said and the truth so I won't weigh in.

 

[Tango Urilla]

So it was always at your place? I could see myself forgetting to put mascara on at some point or not have the nicest lingerie when it’s our third time meeting in seven days. Were you booking for multiple hours? Did she live in the neighborhood? Either way, it’s not an excuse to show up in sweats. The only explanation I can think of is mental health issues or some illness.

If you prefer to have one regular whose company you truly enjoy, try to switch it up sometimes. 12 dates in one month is impressive. Have you ever gotten her anything (chocolates, gift cards) to show your appreciation? A dinner date would also be nice. I’m not saying you have to do it, but it’s a good investment if you plan to keep seeing one girl every other day.

Hi Milana,

Thanks for the questions/comments. I will address/answer your points and questions separately.

Yes, it was always at my house.

I could absolutely see her forgetting once in a while but the last 3-4 meetings were anywhere from 45 minutes to one hour and fifteen minutes late. Different excuse each time.

It was always a 2 or 3 hour date which was specified beforehand as she knew I had other commitments some nights after.

She lives a 15 minute drive from my house.

Thank you for agreeing that it’s no excuse to show up in sweats.

It could be a mental health issue, I’m not sure and I certainly hope not.

I started this thread to see if any other fellow hobbyists had gone through the same thing or not. I basically wanted to see how common it was.

Switching it up is not an option because I don’t want to be seen in public with her as there’s a chance I may see somebody I know. Would rather not have to answer questions or explain who she is or even lie. I informed her of discretion well before her first time coming over as we had texted for a bit.

I never got her chocolates or anything, but we did order dinner many times.

Every other day was/is a stretch for you to say. It was two times per week and then every other week would be three times depending on our schedules, but it was always a minimum of two times per week and a maximum of three. I only saw her a total of 13 times before calling it off.

Once again, I really appreciate these questions and comments as it could possibly help me try to understand why she just was not putting in the effort anymore.

 

[William St]

She has other clients obviously, but I was definitely consistent, respectful and not an ugly dude by any means. That’s why I’m so mind-boggled why she wouldn’t put the effort in and started this thread to make sure I wasn’t the only one who has experienced this. I’ve gotten a few PMs from people saying that it happens to them as well. It blows my mind that they are making that kind of money and don’t take it seriously.

I can't believe it either. But then I consider some of the employees at my workplace: entitled, lazy, disrespectful, unwilling to learn from past mistakes...yup. Pretty much says it all.

 

[Theredmilf]

Honestly, could have been something as simple as burnout or lack of chemistry on her part. The problem is that not everybody has a luxury of canceling bookings because they feel like they won’t perform their best.

Burnout is so real in this industry! It can be very lucrative but also takes a lot of life force to at times. Williams ST’s point is valid too, there are a lot of lazy people in the world and I’ve definitely met SWs for whom the money comes so easily they take it for granted. I’ve always believed in having a little shark in your tank to keep it moving!

It sounds like they had a month of 10 great dates though before they fell off the rails so I’m tempted to think it was hard for her to sustain the momentum. This would be hard for me too because I would get bored with the repetition. It’s not as simple as slapping on makeup, we are switching into our SW personaes and turning the dial to 11.

In the end we don’t know this lady, nor what was going through her mind & we are only working off one side of the story. To me a best practice is mixing it up to bring fresh energy, new stories and to get pumped to see one another. It’s no different from marriage really, boredom builds entitlement & complacency but absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 

[Amber Glory]

Yeah I'd definitely also turn down a solid $2k a week because working 3 hours 3 times a week sounds exhausting. Poor lady I hope she's recovering from the stress ok.

Let's please not pretend like the three hours is the only work she'd be doing.

He wants her dressed to the nines? That probably takes about two hours prep time before, hour give or take for travel and downtime after since longer dates can be exhausting(even if enjoyable); at minimum it's close to 2-3 hours of everything behind the scenes, on top of the 2-3 hour date - and that's twice a week, sometimes three.

 

[honeybear69]

To be fair to the guy this might be talking about my ex-wife......this all fits what she did......mind you it took 15 years!
So I agree pretty much with everyone except Tango Urilla, to keep that up for weeks at a time and not to expect a certain level of comfort to begin to happen in it's self is crazy.
HB69

 

[SIRLOKI]

The worst is when they start to complain to you about life , and you become a shoulder to cry on (figurately speaking ) .
I still miss her she got married ,

 

[bushido_99]

I don't know.. I trying to understand both sides of the coin (well As much as I am able) but at the end of the day no matter what.. this is strictly transactional.. and although not a "normal" Job.. a job nonetheless. Every job, regardless of its uniqueness, carries the expectation of quality and professionalism. The transactional nature means that both "employers" and "employees" must consistently deliver their best to maintain the "relationship". So as far as I can tell.. you both sucked at communication.

 

[Tango Urilla]

Well, communication will no longer be a problem because I have my new regular coming over tonight and she has read through this entire thread and contacted me to become one. So expectations are clear and she promises to be on point every visit. We shall see…

 

[scarecrow119]

Let's please not pretend like the three hours is the only work she'd be doing.

He wants her dressed to the nines? That probably takes about two hours prep time before, hour give or take for travel and downtime after since longer dates can be exhausting(even if enjoyable); at minimum it's close to 2-3 hours of everything behind the scenes, on top of the 2-3 hour date - and that's twice a week, sometimes three.

So at $400 per hour in order to make $2k she would need to see him for a total of five hours. Say this is 2 hours 1 date and 3 the others. If there is 3 hours prep and travel per visit this would be 11 hours. Even if it were 3 dates it would still only be 14 hours total. It is a pretty decent gig, given I am assuming CRA is not involved

I have a regular that I have seen for years. She does not make the same effort to dress for our encounters, but I am OK with that. I love a woman in workout clothes. The one thing that irritates me is that she is often late and keeps me waiting for 10 - 15 minutes. This has not yet been a problem but my work is getting busier so I have less flexibility with my schedule. 45 minutes late would be a deal breaker for me.

 

[ThundercatsHo]

Well, communication will no longer be a problem because I have my new regular coming over tonight and she has read through this entire thread and contacted me to become one. So expectations are clear and she promises to be on point every visit. We shall see…

Ultimately you sought some feedback and received plenty. If after 41 posts it became a recruiting tool and it works out with this new regular then you prob could call it coming out ahead. You will at least know she is aware the tolerance for track pants is low

 

[Toast3d]

One of my first thoughts when reading this thread.. "This guy is surely going to get DM's from ladies trying to offer their services."

Best of luck!