Not really interested in hearsays. Where are the ladies in this forum? I would rather hear from the horse's mouth. This topic has been flogged so bad in several dozen threads, just when you'd think it's gone comatose, it gets resurrected in one guise or another. it's the usual suspect chiming in with conjectures and theories, time to hear what the ladies think. I am sure the ladies talk among themselves and know the whys and why nots. Let's hear from the ladies in the house.
No black gentlemen adds
- Thread starter Justchilling77
- Start date
Very easy answer for this: racism and discrimination.
The only exception to "no Black clients" not being specifically racist is if the provider is Black themselves, as they may have more personal reasons in that case.
For everyone who says it's because Black men are more likely to rob/be violent/be pimps, that's very false and based in stereotypes - white men are actually more likely to be harmful or violent, but you'll never see any ads saying "no white men". Take a look at who's been murdering and targeting sex workers over the last ten years and you'll notice the majority is white.
We can argue this topic for years and years and the answer is still the same - racism, plain and simple.
(Before anyone tries to argue that calling this out for what it is is somehow trying to force providers to see clients they don't want to - no, everyone is allowed their preferences on who they're intimate with, but that doesn't mean their preferences can't be called out)
(**I say all this as a provider who's clientele is approximately 50% Black men, the stereotypes are FALSE)
The only exception to "no Black clients" not being specifically racist is if the provider is Black themselves, as they may have more personal reasons in that case.
For everyone who says it's because Black men are more likely to rob/be violent/be pimps, that's very false and based in stereotypes - white men are actually more likely to be harmful or violent, but you'll never see any ads saying "no white men". Take a look at who's been murdering and targeting sex workers over the last ten years and you'll notice the majority is white.
We can argue this topic for years and years and the answer is still the same - racism, plain and simple.
(Before anyone tries to argue that calling this out for what it is is somehow trying to force providers to see clients they don't want to - no, everyone is allowed their preferences on who they're intimate with, but that doesn't mean their preferences can't be called out)
(**I say all this as a provider who's clientele is approximately 50% Black men, the stereotypes are FALSE)
Wow, quoting a post from May 2021...
What I meant is, he's looking at the world trough rose-colored glasses, as in, he's seeing things as being all good and pretty, ignoring reality.
Hmmmm...interesting take. Years ago, I asked a black woman out on a date and her response: "I don't eat white meat". I suggested racism and was told it isn't racism, it's a choice on who she decides to date or sleep with...
Thinking back on it, I agree. Anyone can choose with whom they are intimate whether it be based on color, sex, size, hair color, smoker/non smoker, race, height, weight...the list goes on. To blanket it as plain old racism may well be accurate in some cases but, not necessarily all.
Yikes this is an extreme take.. You said it yourself everyone is allowed their choice of who they sleep with and to just dismiss all other possibilities and to just flat out say "it's racism and discrimination" is pretty reductive - even if you see it that way there are other individuals who may have had a different experience or who have other reasons.. Come on now let's not be so simple.
Perhaps you missed the part where I said there was exceptions to this rule.
Outside of that exception, it is racism.
Not an extreme take at all, reality can be blunt and harsh and isn't sugar-coated at times. Every reason provided will come down to that. You can say it's reductive all you'd like, it's not. This is fact, this is clearly discussed amongst providers many, many times as well.
I welcome you to provide an example of a reason that doesn’t come down to perpetuating stereotypes if you disagree(outside of the exception).
Again, everyone is welcome to their preferences, that doesn't mean their preferences can't be called out.
I have a really hard time believing that we will be having a discussion in good faith when you say "Every reason provided will come down to that". This signals to me that your mind is already 100% made up that any examples or alternatives provided will be reduced to racism in your view.
The "exceptions" you provided is that black girls may have private reasons for not wanting to see black men. That's not very clear but I assume you mean they don't want to meet other black men they know. But escorts of any other race does not appear to be doing this?
I think personal taste/preference is something that is hard to really describe - For example I prefer ladies of a certain color, and I am not actively seeking to meet with women of other colors simply because of my tastes, experiences, etc. I think you're going to label this as racism and descimination - and I think you'd be wrong.
The size/stamina thing has been mentioned also - This could likely also be a contributing factor as well.
Some ladies do not have a 50/50 clientele of black men like you do and may have had a small sample size of black men and they did not enjoy their company, or as I alluded to in a previous comment in this thread they had a bad experience. I won't be naming names obviously, but I've seen an escort where the topic came up that she had a bad encounter where she was robbed and hurt (no details of how badly) and that she had decided not to see black men based off that encounter. Again, I think you're going to reduce this to racism and descrimination instead of understanding nuance but these are some examples.
I want to add that if ever I saw an ad that singled me out in any way - Age, race, size - whatever - I'd just continue on with my life and understand that escorting is a little bit more nuanced than a regular job and that there is a level of chemistry/personal preference that plays into the decision being made to see a client.
Thats my 2 cents.
Every reason you provided(size, not liking their company or having bad experiences) boils down to stereotypes, like I said. Judging all Black men because of the behaviour of a few individuals makes no sense, especially when that same restriction isn't done to other races, even if having had bad experiences with them also.
As for the exemption, the main example I've heard is that they're worried about running into someone from their family or community, especially if in a smaller town.
This conversation has been happening since I first started in this industry 11 years ago(and I assume it has been long before then too) and it always goes exactly the same way, but what I never hear mentioned, nor do I ever see any empathy for, how these restrictions and constant discussions about them might effect Black men AND Black providers; it's just person after person talking about what might be so wrong with Black folks for them to be singled out and restricted like that... do you not think on how awful that is? What effect that might have on people? The effect it has on upholding and feeding into discriminatory beliefs? Especially given the fact that that almost never occurs with other races.
I'm beyond tired of seeing these conversations and the hurt they cause, so I can only imagine how exhausted Black folks must feel about it all.
As I said, we won't be having a discussion in good faith because your mind is already made up. Let's agree to disagree but let me make it clear that I think you're attacking and insulting every single escort out there that may have a different point of view than you. We shouldn't apply our beliefs to everyone elses and act as if this how every one else HAS to think.
Where I can agree with you is that it must be more difficult for black men and I'd encourage providers to give men of every stature, age and race a chance.
To make light of the matter - could you imagine being a greek guy?? So many ads say no greek!
Where I can agree with you is that it must be more difficult for black men and I'd encourage providers to give men of every stature, age and race a chance.
To make light of the matter - could you imagine being a greek guy?? So many ads say no greek!
That's true. But when it comes to intimate services, really, all bets are off. Just because an sp prefers not to receive black guys, doesn't necessarily make this choice racist.
I agree. It is a preference. No different then some preferring thick, thin, tall, short, endowed, or not.
Except SWs are getting paid for their race "preference". If SWs really want to be taken seriously by society and they really believe that sex work is real work then maybe they should treat it like one.
Preference would be understandable if this was dating. Exception that would be understandable is if a SW didn't want to meet someone of the same race because they didn't want to run into their family, friends or someone from their own community.
Instead of denying all black men or POC, SWs can state what they prefer in clients and what they won't tolerate in clients. Ymmv applies as always to every client.
Let's be real. A lot of this "preference" has to do with racism. Not all of it but a lot of it.
Even in the porn industry women who shoot with black male actors are sometimes looked down upon. Some white male actors won't work with them and some agencies won't sign them for new work.
It's really easy for those who're not black men to say it's "preference" because it doesn't affect them. Which I think is insensitive and perpetuating racism.
And to be clear Black, Brown and East Asian people can be racists too.
So what do you all think of providers who refuse to see men under the age of 35 (regardless of race)? You think they don't like men under 35 or more likely that they've had too many young guys be a problem?
To me, this is the exact same thing - It doesn't represent an actual hatred for black men but rather a statistical precaution. I think this is an important distinction because at the end of the day I don't believe these women inherently hate black men.
I'm actually going to concede on one thing - stereotypes. I don't think this is racism or descrimination, but I do think I should have mentioned in my earlier replies that ya, it's a level of stereotyping. But stereotypes exist for a reason.
At this point, I would think the mods should lock this thread. We've discussed what needs to be discussed and I believe the conversation will just keep going in circles from here on out. Whatever the hell you want to label it, it's not going to magically go away. We're just disagreeing on semantics now.
To me, this is the exact same thing - It doesn't represent an actual hatred for black men but rather a statistical precaution. I think this is an important distinction because at the end of the day I don't believe these women inherently hate black men.
I'm actually going to concede on one thing - stereotypes. I don't think this is racism or descrimination, but I do think I should have mentioned in my earlier replies that ya, it's a level of stereotyping. But stereotypes exist for a reason.
At this point, I would think the mods should lock this thread. We've discussed what needs to be discussed and I believe the conversation will just keep going in circles from here on out. Whatever the hell you want to label it, it's not going to magically go away. We're just disagreeing on semantics now.
Pretty hilarious that you say "really easy for those who're not black men to say it's "preference" because it doesn't affect them " but then as soon as it applies to a demographic that doesn't apply to you - "It's completely different bro!"You're comparing apples to oranges
I disagree it's not apples and oranges, it's two sides of the same coin.
It’s hilarious to me that the same guys that are saying “personal preference” when it’s about the exclusion of black men, are up in arms when there are providers who occasionally say “no one over 50”.
The few times it’s happened the guys here had a fit.
Amber is right. It’s real easy to believe black men are the big scary baddies, when you’re not the one being labeled. As everyone has stated this topic has been done to death, but I’ve never seen a more accurate description than that of Amber. You can come up with all the excuses you want, but it always comes back to painting one group of people with same brush because they have more melanin.
And the fact that a lot of people are ignoring Ambers account even though she’s an actual provider speaks volumes to me.
The few times it’s happened the guys here had a fit.
Amber is right. It’s real easy to believe black men are the big scary baddies, when you’re not the one being labeled. As everyone has stated this topic has been done to death, but I’ve never seen a more accurate description than that of Amber. You can come up with all the excuses you want, but it always comes back to painting one group of people with same brush because they have more melanin.
And the fact that a lot of people are ignoring Ambers account even though she’s an actual provider speaks volumes to me.
