When you find the elusive connection …

[jsyk]

How do you deal with the mental gymnastics related to keeping sexual encounters as it is without it crossing over to the emotional place where the heart factors into the equation?

I’m a practical man, but I had a recent rendezvous with such intensity and emotional depth that it had me fantasizing. At this point, I may hesitate before seeing her again. Time and space.
What surprises me the most is I’d never thought I’d feel this kind of connection with anyone in the hobbying world. The only other time was with my ex, who I loved (probably still do) and was with for 10 years.
Then again, it was just sex, right?

Note: I’ve seen a dozens of ladies, so I’m not new to the world of SPs and MPAs.

 

[bazokajoe]

How do you deal with the mental gymnastics related to keeping sexual encounters as it is without it crossing over to the emotional place where the heart factors into the equation?

I’m a practical man, but I had a recent rendezvous with such intensity and emotional depth that it had me fantasizing. At this point, I may hesitate before seeing her again. Time and space.
What surprises me the most is I’d never thought I’d feel this kind of connection with anyone in the hobbying world. The only other time was with my ex, who I loved (probably still do) and was with for 10 years.
Then again, it was just sex, right?

Note: I’ve seen a dozens of ladies, so I’m not new to the world of SPs and MPAs.

You hit the nail on the head......it was just sex. Nothing more.

 

[Mr Deeds]

How do you deal with the mental gymnastics related to keeping sexual encounters as it is without it crossing over to the emotional place where the heart factors into the equation?

I’m a practical man, but I had a recent rendezvous with such intensity and emotional depth that it had me fantasizing. At this point, I may hesitate before seeing her again. Time and space.
What surprises me the most is I’d never thought I’d feel this kind of connection with anyone in the hobbying world. The only other time was with my ex, who I loved (probably still do) and was with for 10 years.
Then again, it was just sex, right?

Note: I’ve seen a dozens of ladies, so I’m not new to the world of SPs and MPAs.

I think that anybody who has been in this hobby for long enough has had the same experience. Chemistry between two people can be can be difficult to deal with. My first question would be does she have those same feelings for you? I've been involved in the adult entertainment industry for over 40 years I've had two such encounters that you are talking about neither of which ended well, my best advice is to walk away chances are you'll be in for a world of hurt

 

[xix]

Here is your answer to your situation. You crossed into another realm, get out fast. You could also know each other from previous life and this even harder to cut ties from, which require powerful discipline from you.

 

[Josephine Grey]

Its lust, not love. You see her at her best every time, but her normal self may not remotely interest you.

And here is another thing. She doesn't really care for you. Once you realize that about providers, you are in the right headspace to happily hobby.

It's a delicate position we are in. On one hand you must provide that service where the clients feel like they are the only one in the world and make the magic happens, but in the other hand, you risk having this guy falling for you and lose him or end up thinking it's special and he doesn't want to pay anymore. There is no way for us to avoid it.

 

[southpaw]

She doesn't really care for you. Once you realize that about providers, you are in the right headspace to happily hobby.

Well said. It never ceases to amaze me how grown men can be so gullible.

 

[jsyk]

I think that anybody who has been in this hobby for long enough has had the same experience. Chemistry between two people can be can be difficult to deal with. My first question would be does she have those same feelings for you? I've been involved in the adult entertainment industry for over 40 years I've had two such encounters that you are talking about neither of which ended well, my best advice is to walk away chances are you'll be in for a world of hurt

Thank you for your insight.
Honestly, I doubt it. This post was to garner a variety of opinions on the question of whether sexual chemistry can be misinterpreted for the foundation for the potential for love. I appreciate everyone’s feedback on the idea. Even the dismissive comments. I accept them all.

Once upon a time I lacked the experience and, frankly, the emotional depth to truly connect with people at a depth that I can now. If you look at my profile, I’ve been on this board for a while and have seen many more women than I let on in this post, and I also had a two decade career that provided me the opportunity to meet tens of thousands in a year, so I know when I click with people, and the depth of connection it is. With introverted tendencies, I don’t open myself up to everyone, but the good friendsin my life have been for decades.

There are varying depths of connection and I know what’s genuine and what’s manufactured. However, I also know that everyone has boundaries (set by that person or circumstances such as the SP/client relationship) that will not be crossed, regardless of feelings.
Recently, I had sex with a civilian who I was turned on by, but did not feel connected like I did with my ex. It was hot. That was it.
Working out conflicts in my mind is merely an exercise and getting other opinions about it was welcomed.
Thank you, everyone.

 

[jsyk]

It's a delicate position we are in. On one hand you must provide that service where the clients feel like they are the only one in the world and make the magic happens, but in the other hand, you risk having this guy falling for you and lose him or end up thinking it's special and he doesn't want to pay anymore. There is no way for us to avoid it.

Thank you for providing your perspective. I appreciate it.

 

[shakenbake]

It's a delicate position we are in. On one hand you must provide that service where the clients feel like they are the only one in the world and make the magic happens, but in the other hand, you risk having this guy falling for you and lose him or end up thinking it's special and he doesn't want to pay anymore. There is no way for us to avoid it.

I resolve this dilemma by saying that one can love many women simultaneously, and each love is different. The love I have for a provider is not the same love I have for the mother of my children. Mom is loved much more, and it is a permanent love, although the SP’s love can be a momentary escape from reality. Both loves are real. Just make it clear the kind of love you have had limits, both in your mind and in reality.