Am I the Asshole? James and Sara’s story

[Jenesis]

I own a house with my Girl, we're both official owner. But since my income is more that her's, we split the mortgage 30-70. If something was to happen and we split. Sell the house for a profit, we split 30-70 on the mortgage we signed up for and split the + value 50-50. ex: bought and sign mortgage @ 500k, sold 750k. she'll get 150+125, I'll get 350+125. That's our way and both happy with it.

Exactly!!!!!!! That is perfect! I love you guys. You guys are awesome.

Edit: I like this arrangement. I personally do but I think I could argue for half the mortgage if I was the woman’s lawyer and maybe @mandrill can chime in and confirm while that is the proper way to divide payment of the bills based on percentage of income but I think division of the assets don’t classify payments in while living together by percentage but as the whole. Which would allow the argument for half the mortgage payments made.

But again, I like your way. It is true the fair and honest way with no one getting an advantage over the other.

 

[richaceg]

So you would move in with someone, pay half their mortgage, help them gain equity in the home for 5 years and not except to be give your fair share of equity?

I need someone like you willing to pay down half my mortgage for free. Thanks

LoL...isn't that what renting an apartment does? You pay your landlords mortgage? What changes here? Do you gain equity from renting an apartment?

 

[Jenesis]

LoL...isn't that what renting an apartment does? You pay your landlords mortgage? What changes here? Do you gain equity from renting an apartment?

You are not in a romantic relationship with your landlord. How hard is that to understand?

Would you be ok with paying off half your GFs mortgage?

 

[bmanguy]

You are not in a romantic relationship with your landlord. How hard is that to understand?

Would you be ok with paying off half your GFs mortgage?

Your bias is so obvious lol.

He made an investment. She didnt. You dont piggyback off someone elses invesments lol.

If they break up..shes gets all her money back? Wtf? And he has to act like he didnt have someone else in his home for all those years.

Even if she leaves him? Now you have to draw up a contract with provisions.

Just move in..pay your fair share without expecting reimbursements in case..

"Btw..im leaving you for another man..i want all my rent back and I stayed here for 5 years completely free"

THE FUCK???

 

[Jenesis]

Your bias is so obvious lol.

He made an investment. She didnt. You dont piggyback off someone elses invesments lol.

If they break up..shes gets all her money back? Wtf? And he has to act like he didnt have someone else in his home for all those years.

Even if she leaves him? Now you have to draw up a contract with provisions.

Just move in..pay your fair share without expecting reimbursements in case..

"Btw..im leaving you for another man..i want all my rent back and I stayed here for 5 years completely free"

THE FUCK???

I don’t agree with paying rent. I’m not saying she would pay rent. She didn’t say that either. He did. She says she pays half the mortgage and gains equity on HER portion of the payments.

You didn’t answer my question either. Would you move into your women’s house, pay half her mortgage for 5 years and then get booted on your ass with nothing while she banks a few hundred thousand on your investment?

She doesn’t get equity on what he already paid. Just on what she put into it. How is that not fair? She is investing in the house.

And what bias? I don’t have a bias? I’m looking for equality.

 

[bmanguy]

You are not in a romantic relationship with your landlord. How hard is that to understand?

Would you be ok with paying off half your GFs mortgage?

I will move in with you and pay half your mortgage. I will leave after 2 years and you give me all my rent back.

I don’t agree with paying rent. I’m not saying she would pay rent. She didn’t say that either. He did. She says she pays half the mortgage and gains equity on HER portion of the payments.

You didn’t answer my question either. Would you move into your women’s house, pay half her mortgage for 5 years and then get booted on your ass with nothing while she banks a few hundred thousand on your investment?

She doesn’t get equity on what he already paid. Just on what she put into it. How is that not fair? She is investing in the house.

And what bias? I don’t have a bias? I’m looking for equality.

I would. Because i didnr work hard enough to have my own mortgage. And paying half a mortgage as rent?? Thats dirt cheap. Lets say you pay 3k a mth mortgage. Thats a pretty big house. If im paying 1500 rent to stay in a big ass house..lets do it!

I would not expect any equity! Its not MY mortgage. Its not my credit. If they default on mortgage..will she go bankrupt or will he. Will his life be upside down or hers. She woukd walk away credit INTACT. He woukd be financially FUCKED!

 

[bmanguy]

I don’t agree with paying rent. I’m not saying she would pay rent. She didn’t say that either. He did. She says she pays half the mortgage and gains equity on HER portion of the payments.

You didn’t answer my question either. Would you move into your women’s house, pay half her mortgage for 5 years and then get booted on your ass with nothing while she banks a few hundred thousand on your investment?

She doesn’t get equity on what he already paid. Just on what she put into it. How is that not fair? She is investing in the house.

And what bias? I don’t have a bias? I’m looking for equality.

If you have a house you're paying mortgage..I will gladly come stay with you and pay half your mortgage. When I leave..I want all my rent back though.

 

[Jenesis]

If you have a house you're paying mortgage..I will gladly come stay with you and pay half your mortgage. When I leave..I want all my rent back though.

OMG, how daft are you? How many times have I said, she didn’t want to pay rent, so there is really no asking for rent back. And I don’t believe you for a second. You are willing to walk away from 100K if all you paid was 36K for 2 years. Really? Bullshit. BULLLLLLLLLSHHHHHHIT!

There is no way.

Built explain to me why the house can’t be appraised now, appraised when they break up and on that difference, she gets her half of equity? Why is that wrong. Answer just that question. Bet you can’t,

 

[S416905]

If you have a house you're paying mortgage..I will gladly come stay with you and pay half your mortgage. When I leave..I want all my rent back though.

Exactly. Gf assumes zero risk in having to put out a down payment, etc… moves in when everything is great. And then if anything goes wrong she can leave and get all her money back lol. Sign me up for this deal. Op is definitely biased towards the “gf” pov

 

[Jenesis]

Exactly. Gf assumes zero risk in having to put out a down payment, etc… moves in when everything is great. And then if anything goes wrong she can leave and get all her money back lol. Sign me up for this deal. Op is definitely biased towards the “gf” pov

I’m not talking about rent and taking it back. Clearly you haven’t read my posts

She would be responsible for the house, repairs, maintenance, insurance. She wouldn’t get equity on the down payment or the money he put in. Just what she did. I’m equity. Not in rent. Do you know how that works?

 

[bmanguy]

OMG, how daft are you? How many times have I said, she didn’t want to pay rent, so there is really no asking for rent back. And I don’t believe you for a second. You are willing to walk away from 100K if all you paid was 36K for 2 years. Really? Bullshit. BULLLLLLLLLSHHHHHHIT!

There is no way.

Built explain to me why the house can’t be appraised now, appraised when they break up and on that difference, she gets her half of equity? Why is that wrong. Answer just that question. Bet you can’t,

Not wanting to pay rent is immature and entitled BS. I dont want to pay rent..but I have to. Not wanting to do somethijg is different than real life lol.

Why the fuck would they appraise a house that doesnt have her name anywhere on it LOL. Not her mortgage not her house not her problem.

She sounds like a bum. He shoukd do better and find someone whos willing to pay a fair share.

No excuse for a woman in this day and age to not pay a fair share without expecting a fucking reimbursement after relationship ends. Wtf.

Entitlement. The biggest reason some women can never stay in a long term relationship.

 

[Jenesis]

Not wanting to pay rent is immature and entitled BS. I dont want to pay rent..but I have to. Not wanting to do somethijg is different than real life lol.

Why the fuck would they appraise a house that doesnt have her name anywhere on it LOL. Not her mortgage not her house not her problem.

She sounds like a bum. He shoukd do better and find someone whos willing to pay a fair share.

No excuse for a woman in this day and age to not pay a fair share without expecting a fucking reimbursement after relationship ends. Wtf.

Entitlement. The biggest reason some women can never stay in a long term relationship.

He would not be paying his fair share if he didn’t give her equity. Thank Fuck the law is written right on this and shows you are your opinion in the wrong. LOL

 

[bmanguy]

He would not be paying his fair share if he didn’t give her equity. Thank Fuck the law is written right on this and shows you are your opinion in the wrong. LOL

Didn't you start this thread to get opinions. So then how is it wrong LOL.

Don't start a thread if you can't handle viewpoints differnt than yours LOL.

Are you okay??

 

[Jenesis]

Didn't you start this thread to get opinions. So then how is it wrong LOL.

Don't start a thread if you can't handle viewpoints differnt than yours LOL.

Are you okay??

I didn’t call it wrong, the law did. Don’t make a comment or opinion if you can’t handle the facts being given to you. Here in Canada, as a lawyer has already said, she would get a share of the equity for what she paid while living there. That is not me pumpkin, that is the law.

So are you ok?

 

[Gsh]

My preferred solution: Man pays mortgage solely, woman lives there rent-free. Other costs are split 50/50.

It's perhaps unfair, but it's simple and clear-cut. The house is solely the property of the man, and the woman has no claim on it. The guy's monthly living expenses don't increase, so financially he's in the same position as before moving in.

A second solution: Guy rents out or sells his original house. The couple together rent (or purchase) a second house, and each pays 50% of the rent (or mortgage). The thing is that a house is both investment and necessity. This separates out the two parts.

 

[S416905]

My preferred solution: Man pays mortgage solely, woman lives there rent-free. Other costs are split 50/50.

It's perhaps unfair, but it's simple and clear-cut. The house is solely the property of the man, and the woman has no claim on it. The guy's monthly living expenses don't increase, so financially he's in the same position as before moving in.

A second solution: Guy rents out or sells his original house. The couple together rent (or purchase) a second house, and each pays 50% of the rent (or mortgage). The thing is that a house is both investment and necessity. This separates out the two parts.

Yes this is a good compromise. Perhaps with the addition that the gf pays the interest portion of the mortgage as she is living there essentially for free

 

[Jenesis]

My preferred solution: Man pays mortgage solely, woman lives there rent-free. Other costs are split 50/50.

It's perhaps unfair, but it's simple and clear-cut. The house is solely the property of the man, and the woman has no claim on it. The guy's monthly living expenses don't increase, so financially he's in the same position as before moving in.

A second solution: Guy rents out or sells his original house. The couple together rent (or purchase) a second house, and each pays 50% of the rent (or mortgage). The thing is that a house is both investment and necessity. This separates out the two parts.

Someone gets it. The house is both an investment and necessity which is where the issue lies. I don’t believe anyone should live rent free. Personally, I think they should move into their own house. He can sell or rent. If they are starting a life together, let them start together, and they should get a separation agreement, especially to the protect his money from the sale or rent of his previous home.

 

[bmanguy]

I didn’t call it wrong, the law did. Don’t make a comment or opinion if you can’t handle the facts being given to you. Here in Canada, as a lawyer has already said, she would get a share of the equity for what she paid while living there. That is not me pumpkin, that is the law.

So are you ok?

Yeah the law is just clear-cut with no variables or stipulations. You simpliilfied it so much to your opinion. For example...if she cheats and he proves it in court..shes gets ZERO.

See how law works pumpkin. Lots of grey area and variables that exist. You're not automatically entitled to 50% or equity. It has to go through courts where she could get denied everything based on specific situations.

Once again..entitlement.

 

[Jenesis]

Yeah the law is just clear-cut with no variables or stipulations. You simpliilfied it so much to your opinion. For example...if she cheats and he proves it in court..shes gets ZERO.

See how law works pumpkin. Lots of grey area and variables that exist. You're not automatically entitled to 50% or equity. It has to go through courts where she could get denied everything based on specific situations.

Once again..entitlement.

Ummm, that is not how the law works. She can suck a thousand dicks and that doesn’t negate her share. Not at all. It’s called no fault divorce and they would have to married for fault divorce, which they are not.

And as a lawyer pointed out, as long as she shows her payments, she is golden for a portion of equity. Again, only a portion on what she paid. I never once said 50%. Not once in all these pages.

But the law pretty clear cut on this. As with most things in law. At least here in Canada. I don’t know where this happened in the US, but since we are Canadian, we will go with Canadian law for right now.

 

[herbeone]

James is 33, living in a house he owns for the last 7 years. Sara is 27 and has been renting. James and Sara have been together for 3 years. It is time to start living together and planning a life together. Her lease is coming up, she will have her rent upped and anywhere else the rent is higher then what she pays now.

They have started talking about the financials. She is willing to pay her share of all bills, food, gas, household expenses, except the mortgage, property taxes or house insurance without an understanding of some sort of equity protection for her.

For example, if she pays into the house for 5 years and then they split, she wants half of the five years worth of equity?

Is she the asshole for refusing to pay for into house mortgage without an equity protection.

He says he would be like a landlord to her and she would just be paying him rent? She says if they split, she would want all her “rent” back. I think this part is ridiculous. Both her getting her “rent” back. And him being her landlord.

If the roles were reverse, would your answer be the same?

In this case, if she is contributing, equity protection is essential