"Would you like to go out on a date?"

xix

Time Zone Traveller
Jul 27, 2002
4,203
1,420
113
La la land
I am curious to know from both genders if you are
... if you are a man have you ever been asked out on a date along the lines of the title by a woman? It doesn't matter the exact wording.

If you are woman have you ever asked a man out?

Find it weird in this age, you think heterosexual woman be asking guys out instead of waiting a LONG time to be asked.
Been finding a lot of youtube / tiktok videos woman talking about ghosted, half ghosted, 6 month text then nothing etc etc. Can't find a men and so on.

SP asking you out does count but not exactly the same, they are more open I guess and on a different level than civies.

Yes REJECTION is normal for man but as Humans we all get rejected in one form or another. Give you ideas why women don't ask man out. This is just IDEAS.
 

rhuarc29

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2009
9,648
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My current girlfriend was the "official" initiator in our relationship. I was friends with her and never expected more to come of it, but really enjoyed my time with her. We would go out as friends in a group, which eventually led to doing things together on our own, but never as a romantic thing. Though, I must admit, over time I started some pretty heavy flirting with her, without pushing it more than that. Must have drove her crazy because one night, after a day full of innuendo and suggestion, she couldn't take it anymore and practically threw herself on me. Kissing, stumbling back against the counter, suddenly my shirt is off, her hand sliding down under the hem of my jeans, my hand up her skirt, then I've lifted her on the counter, and I'm kissing the inside of her thighs and her hands are in my hair, then she's hopping down and unzipping me.... It's such a strange night to think back on. I mean, we were so wild for each other that night that everything we did only lasted for a few seconds before we attacked each other in some other way. I guess you could say we were both so dammed to bursting after weeks (or perhaps months) of wind-up, that once she opened the floodgates, it was torrential.

But that's pretty typical for me. I have never in my life ever been the one to ask for a first date, extending way back to grade 7. I'm not one of those guys who needs to be in a relationship. But when it happens naturally? Nothing better.
 

xix

Time Zone Traveller
Jul 27, 2002
4,203
1,420
113
La la land
My current girlfriend was the "official" initiator in our relationship. I was friends with her and never expected more to come of it, but really enjoyed my time with her.
But that's pretty typical for me. I have never in my life ever been the one to ask for a first date, extending way back to grade 7. I'm not one of those guys who needs to be in a relationship. But when it happens naturally? Nothing better.
Chris Rock is right. Men can't be friends with women. I am glad I can control myself so far.
 

Valcazar

Just a bundle of fucking sunshine
Mar 27, 2014
32,700
60,782
113
I've been asked out on a date more than once. And vice versa.
I don't think it is that rare.
 

xix

Time Zone Traveller
Jul 27, 2002
4,203
1,420
113
La la land
I've been asked out on a date more than once. And vice versa.
I don't think it is that rare.
You must be 6ft tall.
I spoke to a young 20's guy this past weekend, and he says he hasn't heard any of his friends mention this at all.
 

Robert Mugabe

Well-known member
Nov 5, 2017
9,518
6,529
113
I am curious to know from both genders if you are
... if you are a man have you ever been asked out on a date along the lines of the title by a woman? It doesn't matter the exact wording.

If you are woman have you ever asked a man out?

Find it weird in this age, you think heterosexual woman be asking guys out instead of waiting a LONG time to be asked.
Been finding a lot of youtube / tiktok videos woman talking about ghosted, half ghosted, 6 month text then nothing etc etc. Can't find a men and so on.

SP asking you out does count but not exactly the same, they are more open I guess and on a different level than civies.

Yes REJECTION is normal for man but as Humans we all get rejected in one form or another. Give you ideas why women don't ask man out. This is just IDEAS.
Give you ideas why women don't ask man out. This is just IDEAS.

In my case. Watching some Jordan Peterson clips on Youtube sort of confirmed my doubts. As if I didn't already know...
 

onomatopoeia

Bzzzzz.......Doink
Jul 3, 2020
21,556
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Cabbagetown
You must be 6ft tall.
I spoke to a young 20's guy this past weekend, and he says he hasn't heard any of his friends mention this at all.
When I was 24, at a small house party, one of my sister's friends, who was 36 at the time, said to me "You're cute. Let's go back to your place". For about eight months, we spent Saturday nights together about three times a month, until my job was moved to a different city. We never went out anywhere in public.

I'm 6' 2" tall.
 
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Samranchoi

Asian Picasso
Jan 11, 2014
2,607
693
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I have had a few women who have initiated contact with me at work and/or outside of work and I had longer relationships with them (more than a few years). I am a very average guy with limited resources but for some reason they were attracted to me.

In my younger days there was a Korean woman who had a crush on me in high school and she definitely made the move on me in my 3rd year of university after she came to my house for a party that my sister had. Turns out that her other Korean friend friend had a crush on me. Who would have thought after so many years that Korean women would be a huge part of my hobbying experiences.
 
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NotADcotor

His most imperial galactic atheistic majesty.
Mar 8, 2017
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I'm 6' 2" tall.
So am I, still invisible to women. Don't get me wrong, if you are 5'2 you have to have a lot more to compensate... a lot. However short dudes seem to think that height and height along will do it.

This whole women asking dudes out. Does it happen, sure, but not often and unless you are exceptional it won't happen often to you.

After all why bother, if a guy isn't making a move, he probably isn't interested so why put yourself out there. Sure he could be shy or awkward but unless you are very hot that just comes across as weak and uninteresting.

Exceptions, rules, proving, duh.
 

Robert Mugabe

Well-known member
Nov 5, 2017
9,518
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There was a reality check on Terb a few years ago. One guy summed it up nicely. What do you really have to bring to the table? Good looks? Athletic abililty? Good education? Great career? Great accomplishments? Interesting life? Interesting friends? Or as they used to say, Good prospects?
Kind of put me in my place. Or the place I had been heading all my life. Looking back, I am amazed I got any action at all. Dumb optimism and youthful confidence I guess. Now I realize. I wouldn't go out with me.
 

y2kmark

Class of 69...
May 19, 2002
19,064
5,442
113
Lewiston, NY
My current girlfriend was the "official" initiator in our relationship. I was friends with her and never expected more to come of it, but really enjoyed my time with her. We would go out as friends in a group, which eventually led to doing things together on our own, but never as a romantic thing. Though, I must admit, over time I started some pretty heavy flirting with her, without pushing it more than that. Must have drove her crazy because one night, after a day full of innuendo and suggestion, she couldn't take it anymore and practically threw herself on me. Kissing, stumbling back against the counter, suddenly my shirt is off, her hand sliding down under the hem of my jeans, my hand up her skirt, then I've lifted her on the counter, and I'm kissing the inside of her thighs and her hands are in my hair, then she's hopping down and unzipping me.... It's such a strange night to think back on. I mean, we were so wild for each other that night that everything we did only lasted for a few seconds before we attacked each other in some other way. I guess you could say we were both so dammed to bursting after weeks (or perhaps months) of wind-up, that once she opened the floodgates, it was torrential.

But that's pretty typical for me. I have never in my life ever been the one to ask for a first date, extending way back to grade 7. I'm not one of those guys who needs to be in a relationship. But when it happens naturally? Nothing better.
She never asked you out, just your dick...
 

Sonic Temple

Dreamers learn to steer by the stars
Feb 14, 2020
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For me - experienced both - making a move and being moved on - with that also comes with rejection and elation. The good thing though is that the rejections didn't feel as bad maybe because I thought those women were beyond my means - who knows. Either way - all that experienced lead me to this crazy world of hobbying.....would do all that shit all over again in a heartbeat to be right here!
 

xix

Time Zone Traveller
Jul 27, 2002
4,203
1,420
113
La la land
SO I asked this question to two women in a support group.
One did initiate which all women all do.
One did ask plenty of guys. Then I know she is a codependent. She did get rejected in all of them. I respect her.

But I wanted to know more from her but I will never know several answer to some other questions because I didn't ask her and I had them going in answering other questions.

My question would have been did you ask these men after your separation / divorce or all you life you were like this?
 

NotADcotor

His most imperial galactic atheistic majesty.
Mar 8, 2017
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There was a reality check on Terb a few years ago. One guy summed it up nicely. What do you really have to bring to the table? Good looks? Athletic abililty? Good education? Great career? Great accomplishments? Interesting life? Interesting friends? Or as they used to say, Good prospects?
Yet with a girl she just needs a pulse, to look pretty and be willing to put out, and the last two are clearly optional.
Most women are not all that and a plate of bacon either but when a girl has problems nobody tells her to up her game, it's men's fault for not seeing her true beauty.
But then men are pretty desperate so...
 
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Valcazar

Just a bundle of fucking sunshine
Mar 27, 2014
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You must be 6ft tall.
I spoke to a young 20's guy this past weekend, and he says he hasn't heard any of his friends mention this at all.
Not even close. I'm a tiny little fucker. Not a head turner in any way.
Maybe things were different when I was young, but women were more than willing to ask men out.
Sure, the numbers were still skewed, but it wasn't rare or anything.
I can't speak for your young friend, but it could be the anti-feminism backlash has pushed women back into not thinking they should ask men out.
That's a shame if true.
 

NotADcotor

His most imperial galactic atheistic majesty.
Mar 8, 2017
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A girl once told me to go over to her place, there would be nobody home.
I went over, and there was nobody home.
No respect, no respect I tells ya, I have it rough.
 
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