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Sex addiction

jcpro

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Jan 31, 2014
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This could be a solution.


 

koreanjames

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Oct 4, 2011
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directly from the addiction experts, who have spent decades in field....

all "addiction is an unresolved childhood/coming-of-age trauma problem."

start by getting an addiction therapist , or talk honestly to someone close to you who has dealt with/suffered from addiction.


regardless if its addiction to booze, weed, blow, food, nicotine. sex, gambling, lying etc etc ... your susceptibility / (but more importantly) your awareness/resistance to addiction is directly related to any unresolved childhood/coming-of-age trauma from your past.

and yes there are also functional addicts, people who can still function (reasonably well) even if they are stoned/drunk day-today.

While the more obvious (and extreme) cases are those whose addictions that get in the way of their work (get fired/demoted, have to take time-off), money management (go broke), strain (or even lose) their personal relationships with their family, friends and/or other loved ones.

the more extreme the unresolved childhood trauma, the more extreme the probability of addition. notice the high correlation that the most extreme stories of addiction on this forum (esp. the popular "fell-in-love-with-escort" threads) the person sharing their addiction story, very-often mentions their childhood trauma as well.



all of the below are true, except i believe there are indeed physical withdrawal symptoms, as it will 100% effect hormones in the body, and as we all know hormones control every single function in the human body.

so it *can* effect mood/sleep/focus etc , although these aren't the obvious + extreme addict withdrawal symptoms we see in the movies such as *shaking/sweats etc etc*

Psychologically I think you can get hooked on anything pleasurable: food, booze, gambling and of course sex.

I don't think it's a physical addiction, though. You're not going to go through withdrawal symptoms if you abstain.

How to tell if you actually have a problem with it: if you are cancelling plans to hang out with friends in order to
look at porn or see SP's, that's a bad sign.

Sex should be a great part of your life, but only a part of it. I think people get in trouble with addiction when they have
nothing else going on in their life, so make sure you make time for friends, family, hobbies, learning new stuff, etc. Have a
well rounded life that includes enjoyable sex.
The definition of an addict is one who gives up the necessities of life ie. Love,food, shelter, family for there addiction. IF your spending money you don't have, totally preoccupied with how to get your next fix, become moody, aggressive hostile when you don't get a fix, then your an addict.
Addiction can occur in the behavioural realm. Compulsive gamblers are another example. Mental and emotional addictions are real.
My test for addiction: if it interferes with your job or your relationships with family and friends then it’s a problem. *edit* turns out that’s one of the questions.
 
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koreanjames

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Oct 4, 2011
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while a sexless marriage with a partner who isn't of your physical attractive type, will yield many men (+ women) to look elsewhere... to actually be completely out-of-control addicted is another story/issue all together.

to get married without having children, in todays day + age is utterly pointless. especially with todays laws.

the cheapest (saving both money/time/heartbreak/mental concentration) is always the direct approach, paying for it directly.

ask any successful man, who has has spent time to get a hot gf, they all admit they are paying for it indirectly, in terms of investing tons of time in self-improvement (nothing wrong with this).

but the most pathetic addicts i've seen are men that are completely addicted to women that wont date/sleep or even hold their hands , but will still chase them for years. in those cases they are surely paying for their addictions with their time, attention, cash, + dignity.

No doubt a lot of us would. I'm wondering if someone is harboring on sex addiction or just making up for a bad marriage. How many people here who's wives didn't want to have sex, finally went out and bought it? It seems cheaper and less of an impact on your life or family than a divorce.
 
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GameBoy27

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while a sexless marriage with a partner who isn't of your physical attractive type, will yield many men (+ women) to look elsewhere...
I've never understood why people date and get married to people they aren't physically attracted to. :confused:
 

koreanjames

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sadly, common reasons are security (financial if they themselves dont have their shit together in that area), image + optics to impress friends/family/strangers, and sadly in many cases... it is the best they can get as they cant even get 3rd, 2nd, or even a 1st date with a decent looking, feminine woman.

ie. there are many men who refuse to divorce for years because they 'own a home' with a woman (despite no kids, no sex, and have sleeping in different rooms for a decade +)

furthermore, alot of guys are bred into morons by society as it makes the world money (sadly) - they're taught to place women on a pedestal. they just refuse to call out bad behaviour, laziness etc etc.

I've never understood why people date and get married to people they aren't physically attracted to. :confused:
 

Beagle_

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Oct 9, 2006
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Yes KJ!

😂😂😂

My thoughts exactly! A lot of guys are Morons!

Just date, fuck and enjoy! I always believed if you’re going to get into a relationship, it should be co-creative not co-dependant.
 
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jalimon

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Jan 10, 2016
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Yes KJ!

😂😂😂

My thoughts exactly! A lot of guys are Morons!

Just date, fuck and enjoy! I always believed if you’re going to get into a relationship, it should be co-creative not co-dependant.
When you have a sex addiction you certainly do not want the same women. Biggest part of a sex addiction is fucking different women. So you can be married or dating it does not change shit.

I think the worst period for the addiction is around 40. You are still in shape. Wife does not hit your front pocket anymore. So you start screwing around. New girls are exciting. It's dangerous.

I was very active during that period but I kept under control. But when I hit 50 I just got bored. The thrill was gone, I had hard time to come and I got some girl a bit annoyed. That had never really happened to me.

So I pretty much stop and do not feel the urge often anymore.

Still... I have some god damn great memories :)
 

Beagle_

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Bro im not married lol. Dating and relationships are two different things. Yea, I also don‘t have any addictions, I am in control. Would I ever get married? I can’t say no, but I definitely won’t get married or start a relationship for a stupid reason. Especially a dumb broad with shitty goals and is 100 percent dependent on you. Team work. Partners.
 
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IM469

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Jul 5, 2012
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I scored 4 on the test but I love sex with a beautiful woman and think that moment of orgasm in the arms of a women one is a gift of life without equal.

... I wonder if I did the test while receiving a slow BJ would alter my score. :unsure:
 
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koreanjames

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Bro im not married lol. Dating and relationships are two different things. Yea, I also don‘t have any addictions, I am in control. Would I ever get married? I can’t say no, but I definitely won’t get married or start a relationship for a stupid reason. Especially a dumb broad with shitty goals and is 100 percent dependent on you. Team work. Partners.
bingo in all areas.

also if you are content living life without having kids, i wouldn't even entertain even the idea of marriage.

of course, that can change if you genuinely feel like you are with a wonderful woman, that is self-sufficent, has her shit together , has good quality friends, family, therapist (circle of influence) and genuinely makes proper rational choices based on learning + growth. it is alot of work, most ppl (men + women) wont be in this position.

also, if you have your shit together (sounds like you do) in all areas (finance, mental health, fitness, friends) you will always be dating regardless of age. i can't see a shortage of women wanting to spend time with a man with those qualities (that goes for both genders).

the issue is that most of todays women+men, go backwards (after claiming to have learned from mistakes) re their decision making, and rationalize horrible choices with terrible life-long ramifications ... it is mind boggling/sad to see the amount of men that put babies inside of women they cant stand/aren't attracted to.
 
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Beagle_

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bingo in all areas.

also if you are content living life without having kids, i wouldn't even entertain even the idea of marriage.

of course, that can change if you genuinely feel like you are with a wonderful woman, that is self-sufficent, has her shit together , has good quality friends, family, therapist (circle of influence) and genuinely makes proper rational choices based on learning + growth. it is alot of work, most ppl (men + women) wont be in this position.

also, if you have your shit together (sounds like you do) in all areas (finance, mental health, fitness, friends) you will always be dating regardless of age. i can't see a shortage of women wanting to spend time with a man with those qualities (that goes for both genders).

the issue is that most of todays women+men, go backwards (after claiming to have learned from mistakes) re their decision making, and rationalize horrible choices with terrible life-long ramifications ... it is mind boggling/sad to see the amount of men that put babies inside of women they cant stand/aren't attracted to.
!!!!!!!! :)
 
Mar 6, 2022
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According to this I am high risk. But I didn't need the test to tell me that tbh.
I know I have a slight addiction to sex. but only slightly because otherwise I wouldn't maintain my standards.
If you'll take it any which way you can, from any woman, then you definitely might have a problem.
 

WetSeeker

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Jun 23, 2020
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I got a 7 on that test 🤣 I don't see it as bad because it's a release that feels good ☺ sides if I was truly addicted to sex I think my poor 🍪 would hate me 😅😅
I got 7 too ✅ sex is wonderful, sex is good, not everyone does it, but everyone should....WHAM
 

WJ49

Active member
May 28, 2011
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Tests like these are part of what is wrong with most talk about "sex addiction".

Most of the questions are tracking how you feel about sex, not the extent to which you are addicted to it. If you have a 'sex-positive' attitude, you are going to come out with a low score no matter how much sex you are having, but if sex is the sort of thing that you are inclined to feel "guilty" or "ashamed" about your desires, you are going to come out with a high score, even if you aren't having sex all that much.

The same thing applies for talk of "pornography" addiction, which you can see at:

 

GameBoy27

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Nov 23, 2004
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I scored 4 on the test but I love sex with a beautiful woman and think that moment of orgasm in the arms of a women one is a gift of life without equal.

... I wonder if I did the test while receiving a slow BJ would alter my score. :unsure:
If it was from your boss's or best friend's teenage daughter, definitely.
 
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