I had a feeling this was was going to make its way onto here eventually, so I'll be honest and vulnerable here so you all don't start going down a rabbit hole of judging me for making the choice I did and instead can maybe understand where I'm coming from..
I declined to meet Spinnerseeker for two reasons: the first, because I'm very obviously a BBW and known for being bigger, so it felt odd to have someone knowingly make their name, knowing I would read it, "Spinnerseeker Spinnerseeker" instead of something like "John Smith" or "Bob Bob" or literally anything else.
The second because in the recent past, I've had two distinct experiences with clients who made it known they were specifically attracted to spinners and not my type. This obviously isn't an issue, I'm well-aware I'm not everyone's cup of tea, however on these two occasions, the men cut the meeting short and clearly couldn't finish because they found me so unattractive, and they let me know that was the reason why.
After those experiences, I end up spiralling and spending a whole day or so feeling awful about myself.
It's not a secret my mental health isn't great these days, and I retired from GFE and focused only on glory hole meetings specifically because I'm going through a lot of personal stuff right now related to my mind and body, and so I'm a little bit extra sensitive these days and need to protect myself from situations that I know could be potentially upsetting to me.
I apologized to him for cancelling and told him he was more than welcome to rebook any other time under a more neutral name.. I felt awful making that choice, but I also know that right now my well-being needs to be my main focus, and I shouldn't feel guilty or be shamed for that.
Thank you for all for understanding