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onomatopoeia

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Jul 3, 2020
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From The History and Secret Origins of Politically Correct Language

Significant Other:

The term Significant Other was first coined by Walter Leno Jr. of Burlington, Vermont, on August 13, 1974, in reference to Louis "Eloise" Tillman, (a 23 year old pre-op transexual with a C cup rack and 8", [NFF]), with whom his best bud, Donny Couts, was involved in a casual, clandestine relationship, exactly like Mac and Carmen on the first season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

For trivia buffs, yes, that IS the same Walter Leno Jr. who appeared in "The Insult That Made A Man Out Of Mac" advertisements for Charles Atlas' free book and protein supplement discount coupons, as seen in virtually every hero, mystery or war comic from the 60's and 70's.

Mac on IASIP and Mac in the comic book ad are different dudes. Mac the character on IASIP goes by that nickname because his real name is Ronald McDonald, but I digress.

For the first few years, that's basically what Significant Other meant: Chick with Dick, with the 'Significant' adjective having originally referenced the size of Tillman's greg. Later it became more inclusive and non gender specific to include beards, (ie: the female companions at social functions of closeted male homosexuals). Now it's pretty much a euphemism for fuck buddy, in an effort to attach dignity to any ongoing sexual relationship that lacks emotional attachment.

A big reason why this vague phrase was adopted in place of wife, spouse, girlfriend, friend, etc. is that too many people today are unable to consistently type "friend" correctly, either through haste or by reason of insufficient education. In addition, only about 50% of women in a study were able to accurately determine when "girlfiend" was a typographical error or an insult, when no emoticons were present. It can also be used to describe a relationship in which neither party is aware of the other party's true motivations.

If other people were 100% honest in what they say, we would hear introductions like this:

"Hi, this is Jasmine, (whispering) she thinks we're in love".

"I'd like you to meet Tiffany. We just fuck, we don't even like each other".

"This is Brad. He's better than a dildo, and he takes the garbage out and opens pickle jars".

"Say hi to Trent. He's a 1989 Type C4".

"Meet Natasha. At least she's not fat".

"I want you to meet Billy. I don't think I want to own him".

"This is THE Kelly you've been hearing about. You see, he/she IS real".
 

lessjamie7

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Mar 10, 2013
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From The History and Secret Origins of Politically Correct Language

Significant Other:

The term Significant Other was first coined by Walter Leno Jr. of Burlington, Vermont, on August 13, 1974, in reference to Louis "Eloise" Tillman, (a 23 year old pre-op transexual with a C cup rack and 8", [NFF]), with whom his best bud, Donny Couts, was involved in a casual, clandestine relationship, exactly like Mac and Carmen on the first season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

For trivia buffs, yes, that IS the same Walter Leno Jr. who appeared in "The Insult That Made A Man Out Of Mac" advertisements for Charles Atlas' free book and protein supplement discount coupons, as seen in virtually every hero, mystery or war comic from the 60's and 70's.

Mac on IASIP and Mac in the comic book ad are different dudes. Mac the character on IASIP goes by that nickname because his real name is Ronald McDonald, but I digress.

For the first few years, that's basically what Significant Other meant: Chick with Dick, with the 'Significant' adjective having originally referenced the size of Tillman's greg. Later it became more inclusive and non gender specific to include beards, (ie: the female companions at social functions of closeted male homosexuals). Now it's pretty much a euphemism for fuck buddy, in an effort to attach dignity to any ongoing sexual relationship that lacks emotional attachment.

A big reason why this vague phrase was adopted in place of wife, spouse, girlfriend, friend, etc. is that too many people today are unable to consistently type "friend" correctly, either through haste or by reason of insufficient education. In addition, only about 50% of women in a study were able to accurately determine when "girlfiend" was a typographical error or an insult, when no emoticons were present. It can also be used to describe a relationship in which neither party is aware of the other party's true motivations.

If other people were 100% honest in what they say, we would hear introductions like this:

"Hi, this is Jasmine, (whispering) she thinks we're in love".

"I'd like you to meet Tiffany. We just fuck, we don't even like each other".

"This is Brad. He's better than a dildo, and he takes the garbage out and opens pickle jars".

"Say hi to Trent. He's a 1989 Type C4".

"Meet Natasha. At least she's not fat".

"I want you to meet Billy. I don't think I want to own him".

"This is THE Kelly you've been hearing about. You see, he/she IS real".
Oh God, soooo much reading,,,,can't do it.

LJ
 

onomatopoeia

Bzzzzz.......Doink
Jul 3, 2020
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113
Cabbagetown
Q: Why do women have so many pairs of shoes? - Dipurash, Brampton

A: Because none of the shoes fit, but they'll allow each pair to hurt their feet once.

Q: I do not understand. Why would they buy shoes that do not fit?

A: Because truly fashionable shoes are only manufactured in sizes 2-5, and 99.7% of women over the age of 21 have feet sized 6 or larger.

Q: Size 5 feet? Who has feet that small?

A: Ariana Grande.

Q: So why do they buy shoes that do not fit?

A: Because Cinderella had little tiny feet that could fit the glass slipper, and she was beautiful, and the prince married her and she got to live in Barbie's Dream House. Her wicked step sisters all had big feet, and they ended up doing her housework. If a woman can cram her foot into a shoe two or three sizes too small, if only for a few hours, it means she has a beautiful face, at least until midnight, when she turns back into a pumpkin. Or something like that. I was really young when my older sister explained that.

Q: But why does the shoe company make the shoes so small? Surely they would sell more, if they made them in larger sizes?

A: No they wouldn't. Keep in mind that the manufacturer is only interested in one thing: Selling shoes. He doesn't care if anyone wears the shoes once they're sold. In fact, he doesn't want anyone who buys the shoes to wear them more than once. He just wants women with regular sized feet to buy a new pair of shoes every time they go out. If women could wear a pair of shoes more than once, the manufacturer would lose a sale for each time the shoes are reworn.

It's a little known fact, but women who have feet sized five or less, and are judged to be 8.5 or higher by the sales clerk, don't pay for their shoes; they receive them free, in exchange for wearing them in public. If the woman is a 9.2 or higher, she will receive the shoes for free, and be paid to wear them. Anytime you see a megahottie in Yorkville on a weekday afternoon carrying several trendy shopping bags, chances are, she's receiving sponsorship money from each bag, just like a racing car driver.

Q: Then why do they keep the shoes, if they can't wear them again?

A: To impress their friends, who peek in their closet while they're powdering their noses.

Q; OK, thanks!

* * *

Q: "What kind of work do you do" - Candi, Orillia

A: What kind of work do you need done? Do you mean, like an enhancement, or do you want somebody to leave and never come back, so to speak?

Q: No, I'm referring to employment. How do you pay the bills?

A: We only have to pay the ones that keep the final under the spread. Those other guys, they think the game is legit. For droppin' a pass, missin' a block, fumbling, we pay them dick. Those guys are so stupid. They'll have a $5 million dollar a year contract, and they'll risk a dime in Federal for twenty-five hundred, cash. I think it's the thrill.

Q: I didn't mean that. I mean employment. What do you do for a living?

A: Oh, that. Women's shoes. Design and wholesale. Just the high end, not the sneakers they wear to and from work. At least, that's what it says on the tax forms.
 
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