Would an escort notice if she lost a regular client?

[brazilianguy]

Why do some SPs feel the need to perform mental gymnastics when describing their CLIENT relationships as something more than pay-for-play? Do they think it puts them in a favorable light or is there a deep-seated need to justify their line of work to themselves, or is it just a manifestation of female psychology to see things as more than they are?

Naturally we get to know people that we see routinely and develop varying levels of emotions, but it remains a business transaction when booking by the hour. This is what we have all signed up for.

This. Most of them lie to themselves lol

 

[glamphotographer]

I often have ladies that are my go to regulars, I'd like to think that an SP misses me but somehow I don't think they care. :blue:

 

[G.D. Gentleman]

Looking back over the years, I can recall several times where...I was a regular of a wonderful SP....few times a month for several months as a rough example...and then when I moved on for one reason or another, after a few months - had a reach out text simply asking how I was doing, was I ok, etc.

To be clear, in each case the SP and I typically would have some small conversations between visits via text - typical was prebooking for the next get together and perhaps a bit of chatting was initiated. Because of my single status that I shared with them they had the comfort to initiate a text conversation to me was my understanding.

For every 1 lady like above there has been 15-20 that when I moved on from seeing them have never had any further contact with, to be clear.

This thread simply reminded me of the few times a SP reached out simply to ask how I was doing (was I ok) and I appreciated.

 

[sweetiepieexo]

Losing clients has an emotional impact. Everything from "I sort of liked that guy too!" to "I wonder if I'm putting on weight or if my hair looks shitty!"

This feeling lasts about 5 minutes maybe . It also depends on the SP. I have cut off regulars for becoming to clingy & I have also had clients ghost me . When clients ghost you ; you think about this for about 5 minutes and then most of the time girls are over it.

How much do you spend typically for each session? If it's less than $500, I doubt she will even care.

THIS !. Lets be realistic here . The point of seeing an escort/ sp/ mpa is to get your fix with no strings attached & that is it. Most regulars pay anywhere from 100-150 $ HH ; which if we are being realistic is NOTHING to an sp. Unless she does not have a regular fan base ; it would not affect her negatively.

Well then I must say you’d guys be shocked by how many SW’s have a boyfriend or husband who started out as a client. It’s more common then you think. I wish I had the link to that twitter thread still. But what “tricks” do you speak of? And also what exactly do they mean then when they SW’s are some of the most loving people if it’s only strictly a cold business transaction? Must be part of the illusion too right?

I would like to think this is true but unfortunately ; I have not yet met ONE escort who has dated a client and I doubt I ever will. Most of the girls / women I talk to have said that they can never see themselves dating a client . Yes they may think the client is cute , but to get involved in an EMOTIONAL level is a big NO-NO in the adult industry. There are like you said a few woman who may have done this but it is not common . I agree when you say SW's are the most loving people however we are technically here to provide an illusion that we are your girlfriend while you are with us.

yip, most SPs would notice if they lost a reg. The next question, she should think about is WHY?

Again she may think this for a minute but she will not dwell on it.

Friends don't pay friends for sex. You know this.

FALSE!!! I once had a friend who I knew from high school. We were really close & he knew I did this. He would then ask me if I would give him head and I told him that he has to pay me if he wants that ; even though we were friends. He paid me almost everytime he seen me & we still maintained a healthy FRIENDLY relationship.

 

[MidGuyy]

I did say there were exceptions but these particular incidences are likely less than 0.001% of client/SW interactions. Most guys are likely level-headed and have the social acumen to see it's all an illusion and they have separate outlets for intimacy/emotional needs. The kind of guy who falls heads over heels for an SW who is only putting on a show for him should stay far away from this business. He'll get devoured by the sharks in these waters.

"Trick" is a modern derogatory term many SWs use to refer to clients.

Where have you heard/seen this happening? And i’m Still confused to what trick actually means

 

[MidGuyy]

Your first point is precisely what I've been saying all along. We are being realistic. There's no one jaded here. Of course there's nuance and many shades of grey. Like most things in life, it's not black and white. You're typical business-only SW that can generally compartmentalize their emotions from their service will fall for a client every now and again. The same I'm sure happens with hobbyists who generally should know better and do know better but emotions can complicate things at times even when it is not in your best interest.

The mechanic analogy is completely disingenuous and falls apart completely upon scrutiny. This isn't some ordinary transaction or service that almost everyone in society receives from a professional. This is risky business that endangers both the safety and health of the client and the SW. Whether you like to admit it or not, being a john is still a massive stigma and there's a reason you value your anonymity whereas you likely wouldn't on any other niche hobby forum. Most of the ladies will never admit this either, but part of what helps many of them compartmentalize their emotions from the service is the fact that, at least on a subconscious level, they are repulsed by most of their clients. No matter how charming, successful, good looking they are. There must be something wrong with them otherwise they should have women throwing themselves at them for free. Only unappealing men who can't get the sex they want need to pay for it. I'm not saying that's true, but many are thinking that on a subconscious level and the more ruthless ones go further when it comes to picking apart their clients behind closed doors.

I'm not saying this is their fault either. They can't control their subconscious biases. This is something that is broadly reinforced by society. It's an apparent paradox to most people. In a society where sex and hookup culture is rampant, what kind of man needs to be paying for sex they ask themselves?

Doesn’t have anything to do with something being “wrong” with them. It’s to get a certain fantasy/role play with no strings attached where you don’t have to deal with the hassle of going through game playing, lying/manipulative, clingy/needy civie girls who would not be down with a lot of that (Some guys can even get themselves in trouble this way). Many men just wanna hit it and quit it as they have a lot going because of where they’re going in life and they actually don’t have the time nor energy to deal with Civie women. SW’s know this.

 

[MidGuyy]

Friends don't pay friends for sex. You know this.

Friends/men? Lol yea they do in the long run on when doing things for any girl financially. In the “real world” most ladies wouldn’t even bat their eyelashes at you if you didn’t look like you could even be a half decent financial provider. This is how it is. Sure more actual feelings are involved in the real world but don’t kid yourself when you think “civie men” or friends don’t have to “pay for play”. Some men will even (Buy) that ring making a big business transaction (marriage) just to get reliable play-time at home every night.

 

[mandrill]

To make such a sweeping statement for the few cases it happens is delusional. Seems you have lost all sense of perspective. Sad.

Speak for yourself, Khufu. Maybe women just find you annoying.

Listen: You have to give to get. If you walk into a call, bang the girl for 60 minutes - actually you're probably a 30 minute booker - walk out and never book the girl again or talk to her, then no one is going to give a shit. You're just Client #3 on Wednesday.

If you book a girl regularly, chat to her and take an interest and maybe offer some favours - i.e. legal advice, in my case - many women will like you. Not all. And those who do will vary about how much they give a damn or not. But I've had quite a few long friendships with escorts. And it's not that rare.

Do I think they "fall in love" with me. No. With maybe 1 or 2 exceptions. But a lot of them think I'm a nice guy who's funny and smart and they react to me as they would any other nice guy who's funny and smart.

It varies. Some women are clearly barriered about being in the industry and getting to know clients. I saw 1 woman 20+ times and she was telling me totally unbelievable nonsense about her life on the twentieth time and was clearly not interested in having any but a commercial relationship. There are women like that too.

And the women I've repeated multiple times with were all hot enough to replace me as client without batting an eyelash. So they didn't need my business.

 

[BloweyJoey]

Unless you're the kind of regular who books multiple hours at least once a month for a few months, and buy expensive gifts, then they're probably not noticing.

 

[mandrill]

Unless you're the kind of regular who books multiple hours at least once a month for a few months, and buy expensive gifts, then they're probably not noticing.

I never bought a gift or booked multi hours. I do book my favourites a couple times a month for a year or more.

Why SHOULD she notice you if you're a guy who booked her 3 times in the course of 2 years. Why would she even remember your face? You have a customer who comes in to your office or shop 3 times in 2 years, do YOU remember him / her?

 

[Liquidity]

This feeling lasts about 5 minutes maybe . It also depends on the SP. I have cut off regulars for becoming to clingy & I have also had clients ghost me . When clients ghost you ; you think about this for about 5 minutes and then most of the time girls are over it.



THIS !. Lets be realistic here . The point of seeing an escort/ sp/ mpa is to get your fix with no strings attached & that is it. Most regulars pay anywhere from 100-150 $ HH ; which if we are being realistic is NOTHING to an sp. Unless she does not have a regular fan base ; it would not affect her negatively.



I would like to think this is true but unfortunately ; I have not yet met ONE escort who has dated a client and I doubt I ever will. Most of the girls / women I talk to have said that they can never see themselves dating a client . Yes they may think the client is cute , but to get involved in an EMOTIONAL level is a big NO-NO in the adult industry. There are like you said a few woman who may have done this but it is not common . I agree when you say SW's are the most loving people however we are technically here to provide an illusion that we are your girlfriend while you are with us.



Again she may think this for a minute but she will not dwell on it.



FALSE!!! I once had a friend who I knew from high school. We were really close & he knew I did this. He would then ask me if I would give him head and I told him that he has to pay me if he wants that ; even though we were friends. He paid me almost everytime he seen me & we still maintained a healthy FRIENDLY relationship.

Your candor is refreshing. You've pretty much hit the nail on the head. I know a lot of SWs on here are avoiding this thread like the plague because they don't really want to come out and say it like you have or reinforce the "money-grubbing" SW stereotype.

 

[Liquidity]

Where have you heard/seen this happening? And i’m Still confused to what trick actually means

I actually have friends that entered the business at some point in their lives. They don't know that I indulge in this hobby so they don't think of me as a "john". Ergo, they are much more comfortable sharing with me what they think of their clients and the business generally.

"Trick" is simply the modern or urban synonym for "john".

 

[Liquidity]

Doesn’t have anything to do with something being “wrong” with them. It’s to get a certain fantasy/role play with no strings attached where you don’t have to deal with the hassle of going through game playing, lying/manipulative, clingy/needy civie girls who would not be down with a lot of that (Some guys can even get themselves in trouble this way). Many men just wanna hit it and quit it as they have a lot going because of where they’re going in life and they actually don’t have the time nor energy to deal with Civie women. SW’s know this.

This is a strawman. Go and read the post again. I'm not the one who is saying that. Whether it's accurate or not is besides the point. This is what a large contingent of SWs and society at large believe of men who pay for sex. You can quote the famous saying of Charlie Sheen or other celebrities known to employ the services of SWs, but let's be realistic here. Many of the ordinary rules of society that apply to the rest of us don't apply to celebrities and the famous.

 

[lomotil]

It depends, I suspect, on the combination of escort and client.

Some guys (as we see on this thread) are extremely jaded (they will call themselves realistic) and will say that the escort does not ever care about the client; that there are no feelings involved at all. Some guys go to the other extreme, of course, and actually start to believe that a real romance is developing. The truth (often) is in between. Good, positive relationships with actual feelings can develop between escorts and clients. But it has to be kept in perspective (the handing over of the envelope is wonderful for adding perspective.) It is a relationship that's based on money that generally doesn't have any real life application beyond the money. But the simple exchange of money doesn't negate the possibility of real affection existing, and I think that in many cases an escort would certainly notice and even miss (and possibly even be concerned about) a very regular client who suddenly stopped coming to see her, even if she could fill the actual time slot without any trouble.

I have a very good business relationship with my mechanic. We don't hang out on a social level but we're certainly friendly enough. If I suddenly without warning started going to another mechanic, I suspect my former mechanic would notice my absence after a while, even if his business actually didn't suffer all that much and my absence caused him no financial concern. He'd probably wonder what went wrong and what happened. I see no reason escorts would be any different.

She would notice with purse not her heart. As mentioned before by another poster, the mechanic analogy is "disingenuous" as your car is cold hard steel. You cannot spite a sex provider because their heart is not in the game purposely for their own self preservation and to keep themselves intact between tricks.

The pejorative saying "colder than a whore's heart" did not arise by accident. Van Gogh stop seeing his sex provider and even cut off his ear over her to know avail.

 

[sweetiepieexo]

Your candor is refreshing. You've pretty much hit the nail on the head. I know a lot of SWs on here are avoiding this thread like the plague because they don't really want to come out and say it like you have or reinforce the "money-grubbing" SW stereotype.

Thank you. I pride myelf in being honest 100%. I'm not saying sw's are money hungry women with no heart, emotions or anything like that.What I am saying is that one client missing is not going to "break the bank". Also , with that being said ; sex workers are some of the most empathetic , sympathetic & caring human beings I have ever met & I am blessed to have found a couple girls in the industry who i can proudly call friends. I found that for every "regular " I have lost for whatever reason I have GAINED five new ones. This industry is cut throat and guys can be cruel and so can the women. The thing that people try to do however is to create this illusion that sws & clients are friends. Now I'm not saying this can not happen because it can for sure but to get involved in a serious relationship does not usually happen.

It is best to realize it for what it is. "Pay for Play" . For the duration of the time that you book us we are responsible for providing an illusion that we are actually your girlfriend. The moment the session is over and you walk out the door ; the illusion is gone & both parties are "on to the next" .

I love my regulars & I am thankful for them everyday . I will say that my clients and I understand that this is meant to be an agreement with no emotional strings attached. We are meant to be your "girlfriend" but without the bitching . LOL.

The girls avoiding this thread are simply doing so because they are scared if they say the truth it will affect their business negatively. Its better that everyone is just honest and upfront.

 

[asuran]

I think it's mutual.
If time together was memorable, then yeah, we'd probably think about each other.

I have seen quite a few ladies multiple times myself. Some retired, some working in another part of the world.
Do I think about them all?
Some more than others. The better the connection the more I have them in my memory.

I do appreciate every single one of them.

 

[Grimnul]

Ah - but she wouldn't actually notice with her purse, because any decent escort will easily replace the money she'd lose with one regular. If she notices at all, she's going to notice that a familiar person is missing, not because she's earning less money suddenly because one guy stops seeing her.

As sweetiepieexo notes, this is a "pay for play" arrangement. As clients we're indulging in a fantasy, as escorts the girls are providing the fantasy. And, as I said, many (probably most and possibly the vast majority of) girls very successfully compartmentalize things and keep their feelings out of it. But not all. I've had enough experiences over the last 25 years to know that real friendships and feelings can develop between an escort and a client. I've never been "in love" with an escort. That, to me, is a fool's game. But I have had off the clock friendships with escorts long after they've left the business. It happens. I'm simply in favour of treating escorts like real human beings and perhaps extending them the courtesy of believing that they actually have real feelings and acting accordingly. So, if you're a regular with a girl (and have been for a long time) I'd extend the courtesy of telling her if I was going to stop. I wouldn't just disappear.

By the way, the problem with using analogies is that people who disagree with your position insist on taking the analogy (which by definition is figurative) far too literally and choose to pick apart the details. Analogies are never perfect. Analogies aren't about the details - they simply try to make a point using familiar imagery. Picking apart analogies is a defensive reaction.

I 100% agree with this. It’s business, but business doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy each other’s company, and it doesn’t mean we can’t like each other. We’re all people, we all have the same feelings, it’s not that complicated. I really don’t get why so many dudes here seem to hate SPs so much. Why do you even do this stuff if you think they’re all such miserable harpies? Why is mutual respect and empathy seemingly such a controversial concept around here?

 

[Amaro]

Not always.
Having been involved in this life for many years and owned several adult business including 2 MPs a SC. and an incall I can tell you for sure this isn't always the case. Some of you guys think that all SWs are blood sucking , money grubbing woman who are void of any emotion. What i have found in talking to ladies in the industry is one of the hardest things to do sometimes is try not become personally involved with a client and to keep their perspective.

True words

 

[Amaro]

Well then I must say you’d guys be shocked by how many SW’s have a boyfriend or husband who started out as a client. It’s more common then you think. I wish I had the link to that twitter thread still. But what “tricks” do you speak of? And also what exactly do they mean then when they SW’s are some of the most loving people if it’s only strictly a cold business transaction? Must be part of the illusion too right?

Also very true.

I know several SPs who have boyfriends who started off as clients. And i've heard of many more.

 

[Amaro]

Speak for yourself, Khufu. Maybe women just find you annoying.

Listen: You have to give to get. If you walk into a call, bang the girl for 60 minutes - actually you're probably a 30 minute booker - walk out and never book the girl again or talk to her, then no one is going to give a shit. You're just Client #3 on Wednesday.

If you book a girl regularly, chat to her and take an interest and maybe offer some favours - i.e. legal advice, in my case - many women will like you. Not all. And those who do will vary about how much they give a damn or not. But I've had quite a few long friendships with escorts. And it's not that rare.

Do I think they "fall in love" with me. No. With maybe 1 or 2 exceptions. But a lot of them think I'm a nice guy who's funny and smart and they react to me as they would any other nice guy who's funny and smart.

It varies. Some women are clearly barriered about being in the industry and getting to know clients. I saw 1 woman 20+ times and she was telling me totally unbelievable nonsense about her life on the twentieth time and was clearly not interested in having any but a commercial relationship. There are women like that too.

And the women I've repeated multiple times with were all hot enough to replace me as client without batting an eyelash. So they didn't need my business.

Sensible. And I've had the same experience.

What client have you been. As oagre said, if you're a 30 minute booker, you're definitely client #3 on Wednesday.
Just like anything else in life, I guarantee you, escorts do become friends with the majority of their regulars who are their not just to "bang".