I had a regular that I would see and even though it was understood that we knew each and had been with each other before often, the session always started off as business. Business 1st pleasure 2nd.
I knew exactly when the clock started. When she messaged her driver. Once business was done, driver was messaged and envelope tucked away, phone was turned off and tucked away and session started.
When the session was done...thats when off the clock time occured. Messaged driver...sometimes she askes to hang out for 15-20 mins while waiting on her ride...sometimes it was only 5 mins. Thats off the clock time. Another drink....Another smoke..
See, I get that and have done that quite often. I have a standard 15 mins over time that I usually stay or allow clients to stay if they want to chat. Which is why I didn't leave until 15 minutes after the appointment time. I have even chill for longer depending on the situation. I have always thought that OTC time was after the appointment, not before. And always at the SPs request, not at the clients.
I have to agree, dude asks come at 1 to 3 to smoke, snort, drink, fuck n suck it's a two hour paid gig.
Dude says come at 1 for an hour to fuck n suck and Jess shows up at 1 and smokes, drinks, snorts, fuck n sucks and leaves at 3 then it's only one hour paid gig.
Pretty much sums it up. I would stay for 2 hrs with you and only charge you for 2 1/2. LOL JK.
I think the devil is in details. Did he "asked" you to come earlier to chill out and smoke the weed or did he "offered" to you do so. My guess is that you think that he "asked" so that when you are doing it, it is a paid time. However he thinks that he "offered" it in case you enjoy it, so, if you say "yes" it is OTC time, if you say "no", you simply do not do it. You came on time, but you still spend lots of time "chilling out", so, he thought that you took him on his offer and it is the OTC time. You, on the other hand, thought that "chilling out" is really what the client wanted on paid time.
Now, to the fact that you've had already seen him 4 times. You say it means that he must know that every minute with the escort must be paid for. I think, it is just the opposite. If it was the first time, then it is, indeed, a "per minute" business arrangement. However, after 4 times he wanted to be nice and offered you to chill out, drink some vine, and smoke some weed IF YOU WANT TO. He though it was an offer to someone whom he knows and who may enjoy it. Yes, he also likes it, but not much enough to pay for it. At the same time, you thought that "chilling" out" is part of his fantasy for which he wanted to pay.
So, basically, this situation is a misunderstanding. Now, the question is: who is in fault that this misunderstanding happened? I believe, the most experienced party who knows more about how this business works and what is standard is at fault. And this more experienced party is the SP. So, yes, you are in the wrong here because you did not spelled out the rules and misunderstood the clients expectations.
See I honestly thought that at first. I was going to give him some of the money back because of it, but then I really started to look at the emails and texts and I simply can not believe that to be the case.
Here is why:
1. All of this communication before the date, and including his first request for this appointment, discussed "chilling, relaxing, smoking". It was a repeated thing with him. Including discussing "chilling, relaxing, have a couple of drinks and smoke over a campfire" at my trailer for an incall. Never once was it an "offer". He described wanting to do these things because he thought it would be nice to have a session this way. He wanted to specifically go to my trailer for a campfire because it was something he misses. That is not discussing an "offer" to hang out. He made it clear he wants companionship. That was before and even during the date when he was enjoying it. In fact, his first email to me stated he missed "my service and company". That was his first line. My "company" has always been on paid time with him in the past. This to me shows he knows that a) they are different types of services and b) they are both paid for. It was not until after the date that the companionship became an issue and the only issue was that it was paid.
2. The offer to arrive earlier only happened a couple of hours before the date start time, when he reached home and his plans for the day were done. It was never said in his emails to show up earlier to chill. Only when he got home and could actually host me earlier then the agreed upon time. Having said that, we did move the scheduled appointment time from 9:30pm to 9pm the day before the date. That was agreed upon as a new start time. I figure he expected me to show up at 8:30pm to chill for a bit based on his post date emails. Which begs the question, why move the time to 9pm if he expected 30 mins of chill time regardless? If that was his thinking before the date, I would have still been showing up at 9 pm anyway if I accepted this so-called "offer". I think he changed his mind about the paying for the companionship after the fact, and I think this proves it.
3. My rules are laid out clearly. That is what I have a website for. There are social date rates on my site. That makes it quite clear.
Now I get you will say, "he won't go to the site anymore if he is a repeat client", but that is not true. In fact, he had my website up on his computer when I arrived. I have a members section that he was having trouble getting into at first. He was successful before I arrived, but he still had the site up. I actually enjoyed looking at from a different computer.
If he had stated from the beginning to show up early, if he did not discuss the same type of chilling style date for a future date, if he was not a repeat client, and if I didn't get the sense from our back and forth communication after the date that he honestly expected me to give him OTC time, I may have continued to think that it was a miscommunication.
But he clearly "expected" it. He used that word specifically. Because he is a great client, and he could give me a real-world conversation for once unlike with my other clients, and of course the age old line of "all the other escorts do it" which generally only comes out when you want something you know you are not supposed to have and you feel the need to convince the other party. Oh and the word "friends" came up a lot in his emails after the appointment. That word was never used before the date. If it was, I would have seen that as a red flag.
And lastly, and it seems I am not alone in this type of thinking, clients are not to ask for OTC time. They are not to expect it. It is offered by the SP then fine, but you don't go seeking it. So if it is indeed true that he was just "offering" because he is a nice guy, it is a real manipulative way to get OTC time from an escort. Which just makes it another reason to fire him as a client.
I will add that it took me a couple of days to come to this conclusion for myself. I would not have made the poll now that I'm not questioning what happened, but a couple of days ago, I thought there was a possibility of a misunderstanding. Thanks to the wonderful people on all the boards, the ladies who have given me advice and the extra effort of reviewing all the communication, I have now concluded that he was wrong for expecting OTC time from me. And I still at this point don't even know why he would expect it to begin with, but he did. Maybe he was hoping and wanted to use this to get the free OTC time at my trailer like he obviously wanted as well. At this point, I don't really care about his reason for trying to play this game. However from my site now, I was requested for a date, I did the things request on that date as far as the "service and company" he missed and requested as well as I left 15 minutes after the date was concluded, so I'm clearly not a clock-watcher. I remained professional before, during and after the date. My conscious is clear.
I really do appreciate your opinion and POV on this topic, however, I will have to agree to disagree based on what I have said.
You shouldn't be taking a Poll where people can see where someone has voted leaving their name . Some people might not vote or vote in a certain way because of that .
People don't have to vote. It is stated that it is public. I wanted to know. For those that said I was wrong, I wanted to option to possibly take the discussion to PM if the thread got derailed. I'm fine if people chose not to vote because of it.
Thanks