Least awkward way to ask SP about her services

[Prof. Plum]

TERB is a great resource with lots of information but sometimes info is lacking on a particular lady. That being said, how do you find out what services are on the table? With most services (DFK, DATY, digits etc) it would become apparent as the session unfolds but what about CIM or COF? You could flat out ask when you get to the incall but that seems crude. You could ask during the session but that could be awkward and a mood killer. I suppose you could just go for it and hope for the best but that doesn't seem like a good idea and could really put a damper on the session.

I've only ever seen well reviewed ladies so there hasn't been a mystery about COF/CIM but I'm thinking of going off the board and wonder how others broach the subject.

Any input from the ladies of the board would be great.

 

[IM469]

TERB is a great resource with lots of information but sometimes info is lacking on a particular lady. That being said, how do you find out what services are on the table? With most services (DFK, DATY, digits etc) it would become apparent as the session unfolds but what about CIM or COF? You could flat out ask when you get to the incall but that seems crude. You could ask during the session but that could be awkward and a mood killer. I suppose you could just go for it and hope for the best but that doesn't seem like a good idea and could really put a damper on the session.

I've only ever seen well reviewed ladies so there hasn't been a mystery about COF/CIM but I'm thinking of going off the board and wonder how others broach the subject.

Any input from the ladies of the board would be great.

I ask my details at the time of booking. No point in wasting both your times and once committed any undiscussed topics are granted at the SP whim.

 

[IRIS]

Just ask us. We are not bashful about any question, and many of us heard almost everything in this business. Some of those question put the client to the blacklist immediately (BBFS or dangerous or unhealthy request) but normal service questions are welcome always !

 

[essguy_]

TERB is a great resource with lots of information but sometimes info is lacking on a particular lady. That being said, how do you find out what services are on the table? With most services (DFK, DATY, digits etc) it would become apparent as the session unfolds but what about CIM or COF? You could flat out ask when you get to the incall but that seems crude. You could ask during the session but that could be awkward and a mood killer. I suppose you could just go for it and hope for the best but that doesn't seem like a good idea and could really put a damper on the session.

I've only ever seen well reviewed ladies so there hasn't been a mystery about COF/CIM but I'm thinking of going off the board and wonder how others broach the subject.

Any input from the ladies of the board would be great.

Ultimately, everything is YMMV. So if you're meeting a provider for the first time, it doesn't guarantee anything by going over services before hand. Eg - BBBJ CIM might be listed but then you might show up with cheese dick.

Personally, just rely upon the services listed (which are presumably listed for an average, normally clean, respectful client). Then go over a variety of reviews to get a sense of what might be different from the listed services. Then roll the dice and make an appointment. If you're going off the board then the gamble is a little higher, but not that much. Things like CIM and COF (which I've never understood, since CIM is way better, IMO) can be something you ask (if it wasn't listed as a service) as you're getting close to making your vinegar face. Just ALWAYS give a little warning and don't be an "apologize later" type of guy... LOL!

 

[sempel]

Ooh, this thread will be a doozy.

Iris, it's not that simple. Might be for you (which is great), but trust me it isn't. Its 100% dependent on each provider.

Reviews while helpful give some idea but providers may not do some of the things listed anymore (or its ymmv). There was a BP advertiser who was offering oral only but a review from a month earlier indicated FS. Apparently she switched yet kept the same name and number.

Then some ladies don't discuss services and cut off communication if you ask.

So here's some suggestions

1) reach out to a provider and ask if it's OK to discuss unless you know they are OK with it i.e. they've somehow indicated it on Terb/forums/their site - clearly Iris is ok.
2) ask if acronyms are acceptable. I avoid and use descriptors (giving, oral, etc) if I can
3) don't use the word menu
4) be polite in how you ask. Different ways of asking the same question, some way better/polite than others
5) refuse to see any provider who won't provide an answer, direct you to a website / review with an answer, responds vaguely, etc. Likely headed for disappointment

I generally believe contacting a provider and knowing gets both parties on the same page, sets some boundaries, and avoids disappointment, awkwardness, and either party leaving upset. If a guy wants CIM, and it's a make or break, he's entitled to know before if it's a yes/no/maybe. Based on the response he can choose. I have a couple of mandatory things, some "would really like" things that aren't deal breakers, and some optional wishes should a lady be interested. I make a decision based on the yes/no/maybe.

 

[Catherine St.Claire]

This really is an excellent question and I'm so glad you asked! First off, if she has a website then read it all; every page. If she lists herself as "Safe" there are no bb services available. If she says "I don't do menus" then know she won't discuss what her services are because she understands YMMV and realizes the conversation is irrelevant and a waste of time until you meet. It doesn't mean that she isn't willing to provide services but that she won't agree to anything until she meets you.

semples answers #1-4 are dead on and exceedingly well communicated tho I disagree with #5. There are those of us who don't fall into the trap of believing this is a glory hole business for everyone involved. We bring everything we have to the table so we prefer to leave the intimacies to develop organically rather than simply checking off a list of playtime "to do's". I've always said there isn't a game I won't play, just people I won't play them with and I won't commit to someone until I know who they are. There are some where I simply need to develop a measure of trust before taking on a game but once I make that commitment, I bring every fiber of my being to that experience. I have never had menus, I've always believed that the exchange is one of trust so until that's established I won't commit to anything but the basics. A guest who reads my site and follows my booking protocol gets far more mileage than one who is an askhole that demands he get a firm commitment to services before he arrives. I'm careful with who I book with to ensure that I can meet their expectations but just because I won't post available services or discuss them before hand doesn't mean I'm unwilling to facilitate said services. But if a guest won't read my site and refuses to follow my basic booking procedures, how can I trust that when it comes to something like cof, that he won't hit me in the eye even tho he knew it wasn't allowed, resulting in a case of pink eye that has me off work for a week? Respecting her rules and trust is the key to getting what you want.

If you find a provider that catches your eye, do a little reading and reach out. Imo, when you find someone you click with, the "to do" list becomes secondary to the experience as a whole and a great experience for both will open up a world of possibilities for a guest...

smiles, cat

 

[Jasmine Raine]

This is a complex question because you are dealing with different women who run their business independent of others. For me personally, I prefer a guy to be direct with what he wants as opposed to asking me a bunch of questions of "Do you do this? or "Do you do that?". However, some GFE ladies may feel that a guy being that forward about want he wants means that he "expecting said service only" and therefore not really interested in her as a person or companion which would rub them the wrong way.

I think the key to contact is research before the contact. You need to READ. Read her ad, read reviews, read her website and follow her protocol.

Which I know can be difficult when you are scrolling through backpage, horny as hell and have no time to get on TERB. LOL

I will say your safest bet is to always be as polite and respectful as possible. And ASK first if you are unsure. Things like "Can I ask your services or can I tell you want I like and you can let me know if you are interested or not?" A line like that gives the provider the choice of how she wishes to proceed in discussing services. She can say please read my site, and you just say thank you and move on. You are getting your answer, just maybe not the one you want. The great thing about this industry is you have so much choice.

 

[sempel]

This really is an excellent question and I'm so glad you asked! First off, if she has a website then read it all; every page. If she lists herself as "Safe" there are no bb services available. If she says "I don't do menus" then know she won't discuss what her services are because she understands YMMV and realizes the conversation is irrelevant and a waste of time until you meet. It doesn't mean that she isn't willing to provide services but that she won't agree to anything until she meets you.

semples answers #1-4 are dead on and exceedingly well communicated tho I disagree with #5. There are those of us who don't fall into the trap of believing this is a glory hole business for everyone involved. We bring everything we have to the table so we prefer to leave the intimacies to develop organically rather than simply checking off a list of playtime "to do's". I've always said there isn't a game I won't play, just people I won't play them with and I won't commit to someone until I know who they are. There are some where I simply need to develop a measure of trust before taking on a game but once I make that commitment, I bring every fiber of my being to that experience. I have never had menus, I've always believed that the exchange is one of trust so until that's established I won't commit to anything but the basics. A guest who reads my site and follows my booking protocol gets far more mileage than one who is an askhole that demands he get a firm commitment to services before he arrives. I'm careful with who I book with to ensure that I can meet their expectations but just because I won't post available services or discuss them before hand doesn't mean I'm unwilling to facilitate said services. But if a guest won't read my site and refuses to follow my basic booking procedures, how can I trust that when it comes to something like cof, that he won't hit me in the eye even tho he knew it wasn't allowed, resulting in a case of pink eye that has me off work for a week? Respecting her rules and trust is the key to getting what you want.

If you find a provider that catches your eye, do a little reading and reach out. Imo, when you find someone you click with, the "to do" list becomes secondary to the experience as a whole and a great experience for both will open up a world of possibilities for a guest...

smiles, cat

Cat, I understand where you are coming from but I'm going to make a few points

1) I've seen a ladies say GFE, not use the word "safe" anywhere but state CBJ only when contacted
2) most guys want certain services like Greek/CIM and it's a make/break for them. If there is zero info, I think it's wrong to assume a provider will provide them. I'd go as far to say that assumption could lead to danger, especially for higher priced ladies.
3) saying you do something isn't committing. I've asked about A,B, and C and providers have said yes but C is ymmv, takes trust, or some other language indicating it isn't guaranteed.
4) I know you say establishing trust is key and I agree. You also say not discussing something doesn't necessarily mean you don't do something - well it doesn't necessarily mean you do either.

You have a great attitude - your post indicates that. But with others that attitude is completely unknown so when I feel the person is strict about booking, refuses to be flexible and discuss anything, it's a flag. You're worried about a guy not following your rules, I'm worried that the lady will be uptight and non relaxed. We are both making big assumptions and although we may both be wrong, it's all we have to go on.

I have no issue with a lady indicating some things are ymmv, ideally providing a brief explanation. To me, a guy shouldn't be concerned about ymmv if he is polite, respectful, clean, and hygienic.

 

[mclarkez1980]

"May I ask your restrictions?"

 

[The "Bone" Ranger]

If you are too shy to ask the SP then I don't know how you even hobby?

TERB is a great resource with lots of information but sometimes info is lacking on a particular lady. That being said, how do you find out what services are on the table? With most services (DFK, DATY, digits etc) it would become apparent as the session unfolds but what about CIM or COF? You could flat out ask when you get to the incall but that seems crude. You could ask during the session but that could be awkward and a mood killer. I suppose you could just go for it and hope for the best but that doesn't seem like a good idea and could really put a damper on the session.

I've only ever seen well reviewed ladies so there hasn't been a mystery about COF/CIM but I'm thinking of going off the board and wonder how others broach the subject.

Any input from the ladies of the board would be great.

 

[Jeffrey93]

I call BS on the thread and OP.

Should be moved to the SPAM forum.

 

[VERYBADBOY]

If there isn't a lot of info, reviews and/or website I usually go this route:

If you don't mind me asking ... Can you please tell me your do's and don'ts? I don't wish to make you uncomfortable or to overstep your boundaries. I don't mind a general idea or if you wish to discuss in person at the start of our date that would be fine as well. Please and thank you. Looking forward to spending some quality time with you.


Btw... Catherine gave an excellent response.

VBB

 

[JunoxGrey]

If there isn't a lot of info, reviews and/or website I usually go this route:

If you don't mind me asking ... Can you please tell me your do's and don'ts? I don't wish to make you uncomfortable or to overstep your boundaries. I don't mind a general idea or if you wish to discuss in person at the start of our date that would be fine as well. Please and thank you. Looking forward to spending some quality time with you.


Btw... Catherine gave an excellent response.

VBB

I don't provide a "menu" and to be honest already have a bad taste in my mouth when people ask it. But this, I approve of.

 

[Prof. Plum]

If you are too shy to ask the SP then I don't know how you even hobby?

I'm not shy. I simply had a question and was wondering how other members deal with it and how the ladies would like it dealt with.

As I said, I realize I could ask "Can I do xyz to you?" but that seems a little uncouth. In a perfect world, the session would flow and the words would never need to be said. It would seem less like a business transaction where we use the lady and more like a genuine encounter. That's my goal.

I appreciate the responses. You too, Jeffrey93.

 

[sempel]

I'm not shy. I simply had a question and was wondering how other members deal with it and how the ladies would like it dealt with.

As I said, I realize I could ask "Can I do xyz to you?" but that seems a little uncouth. In a perfect world, the session would flow and the words would never need to be said. It would seem less like a business transaction where we use the lady and more like a genuine encounter. That's my goal.

I appreciate the responses. You too, Jeffrey93.

Since some ladies can get offended and will decline seeing you, it's a great thread.

I'm like you - get the "business" out of the way so it feels more real/natural. And hearing "no" is a mood killer. If a lady says she doesn't do X, I won't ask or attempt it. More awkward to say "I love doing X - is that ok?"..."no. Sorry but I don't do that". Doesn't feel so nice.

Knowing what's on the table (and what isn't) leads to flow. Plus, I've always said discussing services is also a form of consent which is always required. Lastly, there have been times where X was on the table but I chose not to do it - wasn't in the mood.

 

[Samranchoi]

I'm not shy. I simply had a question and was wondering how other members deal with it and how the ladies would like it dealt with.

As I said, I realize I could ask "Can I do xyz to you?" but that seems a little uncouth. In a perfect world, the session would flow and the words would never need to be said. It would seem less like a business transaction where we use the lady and more like a genuine encounter. That's my goal.

I appreciate the responses. You too, Jeffrey93.

I never ask a women or agency what types of services are offered. The most agencies will say to me is that the women receives good feedback and that I would probably like her. When it comes to the session, I never ask for service but rather just go with what feels right and 9 times out of 10 my experiences have been good and many times exceptional. I do read reviews but do not totally rely on them as I have been burned in the last.

 

[sempel]

My services and restrictions are clearly listed on my website to avoid recurring questions and wasting time repeating myself all day.

If a guy doesn't know I have a website, I will give him the link to it so he can do his homework and get back to me if he's still interested.

If a guy knows about my website and doesn't want to look it up because he "doesn't have time", then I'm not interested in seeing him. For me, it only makes sense that he shows his interest by simply taking the time to read what I took the time to write and put on my website.

I understand, that even though my website is quite blunt, it can still lack information that I just haven't thought about, so for that reason, I'm more than happy to answer questions that aren't already answered on my website. I don't really mind how it is asked, as long as it's polite, with a hello, please and thank you. - Can I do this and that, do you provide this or that - I don't mind at all.

If a guy wants me, for example, to confirm a price/service he saw on my website... I will ask him to tell me what he saw, and then, I will say if it's accurate or not. Some guys just don't want to do their homework and pretend they looked at our website when they never did, and I don't have time for that...

I've noticed a certain lethargic chunk of Terbs. They pose questions without taking 2 seconds to search, clicking a link, asking SP's direct, researching, etc.

At the same time, having the info posted I'm sure reduces the total number of inquiries. I'd assume most service inquiries were special requests, guys being lazy, or guys missing the info (I admit I once missed the word "safe", contacted the lady, and was told off).

 

[The "Bone" Ranger]

I am very direct with the SP as it is better for both parties - for e.g., sometimes I'll just ask the SP if it is okay for me to finger her pussy, works for me.

I'm not shy. I simply had a question and was wondering how other members deal with it and how the ladies would like it dealt with.

As I said, I realize I could ask "Can I do xyz to you?" but that seems a little uncouth. In a perfect world, the session would flow and the words would never need to be said. It would seem less like a business transaction where we use the lady and more like a genuine encounter. That's my goal.

I appreciate the responses. You too, Jeffrey93.