40 and single

[Judge_Knoll]

So there I met this girl at work. She is 26 and I am 40. We got a long great. She's was being very flirtatious so I asked her out. Went on a couple of dates. Great chemistry. I had butterflies in my stomach. A feeling I hadn't had in a very long time. So I was very excited where this was going.

We had plans for a weekend event but she cancelled. No big deal. Over the next few weeks she was not responding to any of my texts or messages. Still friendly to me at work. When I asked about going out again she would always have an excuse. I was really confused. Then through the workplace grapevine I found out why. She discovered my age. I guess she thought I was around 30.

This is a tough one to swallow. I feel that the dating market has just shrunk incredibly for me. I guess I am feeling my age for the first time.

I guess you can call me shallow but I am not attracted to many women my own age. The women my age who I do find attractive are already taken. I've been really disappointed with dating sites. I also live in a small city (pop 45,000) so the pool is rather limited.

Are things better in Toronto? Fortunately I work in a field where I could pack up and get a job there tomorrow. I don't know if I want to make such a huge change just to find someone. A mid-life crisis I guess.

 

[oil&gas]

I guess you can call me shallow but I am not attracted to many women my own age.

Most older guys are like that, they just don't act it.

 

[Brotherman]

Women are insecure and shallow these days. The fact that she used your age as a deciding factor shows that she will never get what reality is.

 

[Powpow]

I found dating as an older man (I am around your age and divorced for the past 10) required me to change my approach to be succesful. As a younger guy, I concentrated on making my dates laugh, and I would pull a lot of free spirited, live in the moment crazy stuff. While successful upto about 30....that stopped working a long time ago.

I have had much better success lately by owning my age....in fact sometimes I think I portray myself much older than early 40s. I tell people how old I am. I tell the women about my life experiences on getting divorced and all my travels. I dress my age or even older. With women in their 20s I talk about the younger people their age in my company who I mentor or connect with and guide. I found having a slight "been there, done that, got the tshirt...but I would love to do it again with you" attitude helps. I keep up with social trends and pop culture, especially the technology they use and I noticed they are surprised with what I understand and I get comments that their own dads are totally clueless. I found generally reminding them that you are much older and you prefer older women because of their maturity in dating seems to get them to take more an interest. I have no idea why, but it happens.

For women in their mid 30s or early 40s I showcase stability and act as predictably as an older man would.

It seems to work.

I am still the young at heart goofball that still laughs at poo and boobie jokes and drinks far too much with his buddies at the pub, but I found that side of me doesn't really bring out success with girls anymore.

If you pack up and come to toronto.... i will buy you a beer and take you out for a steak. The Toronto dating scene has its own issues, but the numbers are on your side.

 

[las venganza]

So there I met this girl at work. She is 26 and I am 40. We got a long great. She's was being very flirtatious so I asked her out. Went on a couple of dates. Great chemistry. I had butterflies in my stomach. A feeling I hadn't had in a very long time. So I was very excited where this was going.

We had plans for a weekend event but she cancelled. No big deal. Over the next few weeks she was not responding to any of my texts or messages. Still friendly to me at work. When I asked about going out again she would always have an excuse. I was really confused. Then through the workplace grapevine I found out why. She discovered my age. I guess she thought I was around 30.

This is a tough one to swallow. I feel that the dating market has just shrunk incredibly for me. I guess I am feeling my age for the first time.

I guess you can call me shallow but I am not attracted to many women my own age. The women my age who I do find attractive are already taken. I've been really disappointed with dating sites. I also live in a small city (pop 45,000) so the pool is rather limited.

Are things better in Toronto? Fortunately I work in a field where I could pack up and get a job there tomorrow. I don't know if I want to make such a huge change just to find someone. A mid-life crisis I guess.

LOL this sounds like something I would write!! I am in the same boat!!

 

[blueadonis]

It's all stats. There are some young girls looking only for guys their age, and there are girls who are looking for sugar daddies, and there are girls who only like to date older men. Come to Toronto, you'll find more luck here.

 

[rt-24]

seems to happen fairly often for me... I look younger as well and fairly recently have had at least 3 women in their early and mid-twenties lose interest once they found out that I'm NOT in my late twenties or 30. I guess that's just the way it is. I live and work downtown TO so not sure location makes any difference

 

[mr bojangles]

Guy just take a look at George Clooney and Pierce Brosnan,
both are considered very attractive .
Stay away from women under 28 for dating they are incredibly
shallow mostly

 

[jcpro]

Being single in 40s(or bit later) is the best thing there is. We have the cash, we still can, we know exactly what we want. And most importantly, we know that life is too short not to try almost everything. Enjoy!

 

[punter]

Lie about your age. Subtract 7 from your real age until you get to 50, then subtract 10.

 

[lewd]

Ageism is alive and well. You'll find that both socially and professionally.

That said, there's no shortage of smart, attractive women in their 40's.
They know what they want, and can see through guy's BS, much better than some 25 year old can

 

[mynameisearl11]

...go back and watch the movie 40 year old virgin over and over again...until you feel motivated and funny like him. There's nothing wrong with single mother woman either if you could land one.

 

[Judge_Knoll]

I found dating as an older man (I am around your age and divorced for the past 10) required me to change my approach to be succesful. As a younger guy, I concentrated on making my dates laugh, and I would pull a lot of free spirited, live in the moment crazy stuff. While successful upto about 30....that stopped working a long time ago.

I have had much better success lately by owning my age....in fact sometimes I think I portray myself much older than early 40s. I tell people how old I am. I tell the women about my life experiences on getting divorced and all my travels. I dress my age or even older. With women in their 20s I talk about the younger people their age in my company who I mentor or connect with and guide. I found having a slight "been there, done that, got the tshirt...but I would love to do it again with you" attitude helps. I keep up with social trends and pop culture, especially the technology they use and I noticed they are surprised with what I understand and I get comments that their own dads are totally clueless. I found generally reminding them that you are much older and you prefer older women because of their maturity in dating seems to get them to take more an interest. I have no idea why, but it happens.

For women in their mid 30s or early 40s I showcase stability and act as predictably as an older man would.

It seems to work.

I am still the young at heart goofball that still laughs at poo and boobie jokes and drinks far too much with his buddies at the pub, but I found that side of me doesn't really bring out success with girls anymore.

If you pack up and come to toronto.... i will buy you a beer and take you out for a steak. The Toronto dating scene has its own issues, but the numbers are on your side.

Thanks for the offer.

For the most part I do act my age so that isn't really a problem. However, I should probably just "own it" and acknowledge my age up front with women. Just get that part over with at the first.

 

[Judge_Knoll]

...go back and watch the movie 40 year old virgin over and over again...until you feel motivated and funny like him. There's nothing wrong with single mother woman either if you could land one.

Yeah, I am probably going to have to get used to the idea of dating single mothers. I'll admit it is something that I have avoided thus far.

 

[Danolo]

Dating women will just cause you endless hassle... in stead, use SP's for your sexual needs.

Whatever you do, don't fall in love and get married.

 

[doggystyle99]

So there I met this girl at work. She is 26 and I am 40. We got a long great. She's was being very flirtatious so I asked her out. Went on a couple of dates. Great chemistry. I had butterflies in my stomach. A feeling I hadn't had in a very long time. So I was very excited where this was going.

We had plans for a weekend event but she cancelled. No big deal. Over the next few weeks she was not responding to any of my texts or messages. Still friendly to me at work. When I asked about going out again she would always have an excuse. I was really confused. Then through the workplace grapevine I found out why. She discovered my age. I guess she thought I was around 30.

This is a tough one to swallow. I feel that the dating market has just shrunk incredibly for me. I guess I am feeling my age for the first time.

I guess you can call me shallow but I am not attracted to many women my own age. The women my age who I do find attractive are already taken. I've been really disappointed with dating sites. I also live in a small city (pop 45,000) so the pool is rather limited.

Are things better in Toronto? Fortunately I work in a field where I could pack up and get a job there tomorrow. I don't know if I want to make such a huge change just to find someone. A mid-life crisis I guess.

As a person who is in the same age category as you my experience is the exact opposite but I do live within the GTA. I am turning 40 soon and always get told that I look like I am in my late 20's and I date a lot of woman between the age of 22-30 and they are fine with my age.
If she can't even be honest about what she feels about you and tell others rather than telling you in person I don't think you would want to date her move on to a younger and hotter woman.

 

[Frosty]

OP, you didn't disclose your age from the get go. Could have saved you for disappointment. And for the guy who said she was shallow, she has the right to choose whether she wants to be with someone close to her age. Not every girl wants to be with a much older guy. Doesn't make her shallow. Clooney and Brosnan and Billy Joel, Donald Trump all have money. These guys are poor examples to compare.

Listen, you've got to be just yourself and let things go. Sure I'm attracted to young women, but the reality is that you've got to find someone close to your age cause general people like that have more in common. You've just been out of luck.

 

[KBear]

Fortunately I work in a field where I could pack up and get a job there tomorrow. I don't know if I want to make such a huge change just to find someone. A mid-life crisis I guess.

You're probably looking feedback on small changes or opinions, but maybe consider a big change. If there is nothing holding you here, could you hook up with a company that places you in another country in Asian, Eastern Europe or South America? Have known a few guys that moved overseas and never came back. Or could vacation in some of these places to check them out. There are several guys here that go to Cuba many times a year, is a different world as far as finding ladies to spend time with goes. Otherwise, guess Toronto is a bigger market.

 

[GameBoy27]

Dating women will just cause you endless hassle... in stead, use SP's for your sexual needs.

Whatever you do, don't fall in love and get married.

Had some bad relationships have you?

I wouldn't tell someone to not fall in love and get married. It does work for some. My only advise is don't get married until you're at least 40.

 

[IM469]

Yeah, I am probably going to have to get used to the idea of dating single mothers. I'll admit it is something that I have avoided thus far.

Wow you really are a piece of work. You are upset at women who grade you the same as you grade them and look at single mom's as attainable fuck dolls with baggage. Your attitude towards that child is bound to fuck his/her life up. A single mom is the chance to become part of a family.

Young women in their 20's are usually looking for ideal goals with a young husband and family. I suggest you look at single divorced 30's plus who still take care of themselves and usually hold tainted view of marriage.