SP and friendship

[swanky]

I have become a good friend with an SP (6 months). Needless to say I met her through the business. We meet frequently to have dinner, drinks, and other things but we don’t always have sex. In spite of this, I’m still her client in that when we do meet and it’s followed by sex, I pay her the standard fee.

Initially when I grew fond of her, I got jealous that there were other guys fucking her. To my surprise, I actually got over that. I see that it’s a job for her and she partly enjoys what she does. Now, here’s the part that gets under my skin. She’s always talking about her pussy and her body like it’s always available for rent. She says anyone can fuck me for $200. It could be the taxi driver, hotel manager, anyone walking the street, etc. In truth, I know this is in fact what happens. Many of her clients are indeed just strangers who walk in from the street, but the fact that she openly talk about it almost in a boastful manner makes me think ill of her. I wished she had a little more compunction about being an escort some of the times.

May be the fact that I think this way really means that I don’t condone what she does. Anyhow, I just learned that she recently had her car serviced for free because she offered “favors” to the shop manager. For some reason, this really bugs me and makes me not want to be with her any more.

Care to analyze my dilemma.

 

[DELETDrileydaniels]

If all these things bother you about her, and you are friends then you should be able to talk to her about the things that bother you about what she says or maybe even does.

Friendships and any relationship takes work , and honesty is one of those things that can keep a relationship/friendship together.

 

[elmo]

You need a better definition of a friend.

 

[yolosohobby]

How old are you OP?

 

[Shakeandbake]

If all these things bother you about her, and you are friends then you should be able to talk to her about the things that bother you about what she says or maybe even does.

Friendships and any relationship takes work , and honesty is one of those things that can keep a relationship/friendship together.

What she said

 

[TeasePlease]

I'm not sure that I would bring it up.

It's a power thing. It's her vagina. Selling it empowers her. If challenge that, she might get upset. Who knows what life experiences brought her to where she is today? Do you think you can undo those experiences? Do you think you have a right to ask?

Just enjoy the friendship. She will appreciate your understanding and support as a genuine friend. As much as she might enjoy bragging about selling her cooch, she will also (hopefully) appreciate having a friendship that is not conditional on her spreading her legs. Everyone needs a true, rock solid friend.

 

[swanky]

You need a better definition of a friend.

A friend is anyone you spend time with who enjoy your company and common activity. She fits that definition most of the time. I don't pay her or compensate her for any of our social time together.

 

[swanky]

How old are you OP?

What are you really asking? Do I sound green?

 

[swanky]

Just enjoy the friendship. She will appreciate your understanding and support as a genuine friend. As much as she might enjoy bragging about selling her cooch, she will also (hopefully) appreciate having a friendship that is not conditional on her spreading her legs. Everyone needs a true, rock solid friend.

That's a good advice. I should just chill and enjoy her company instead of trying to change her ways. It's hard not to give good advice to people that you care about but at the same time I know it's not going to make any difference.

I'm not in love with her and there's no chance for a long term relationship so I should just have fun...but it's still not simple as that.

 

[mynameisearl11]

Perhaps, she is sending you a subtle message that if you want her to stop then...show her the money? Not sure? Therefore, you should communicate with her. Ask her why does she keep going back to talk about her job? Are you uncomfortable every time she brought up her sex life? What else is there that you are attracted to her? Focus on those instead. There are many questions you should be answered yourself, too! what type of friends are you to her? helpful friend? "I'm there for sex" friend? or, spiritual friend? You should tell her what you think of her as a person. She maybe working too hard to please you as if you are her clients not her friends!

 

[too2shy]

You do have feelings for her. Which is natural and expected of anyone who spends a good amount of time with someone else, in social and intimate environments.

Problem is, some of what you've described is her nature. Obviously something she can modify, but she'd need to want to. The cost of her not sleeping with her mechanic is money out of pocket to her, the cost of her just not telling you.. is you wondering if she did.

Gotta figure out, if you want her to tell you. Or gotta tell her she can value herself more.. Thing is, repeating that kinda stuff might be a coping mechanism. Constantly having to remind herself that she's solely of that value to anyone. It's fucked.

I'm glad I ain't you man.. tough place. Not so hard to get to for any of us though really.

 

[swanky]

Perhaps, she is sending you a subtle message that if you want her to stop then...show her the money? Not sure? Therefore, you should communicate with her. Ask her why does she keep going back to talk about her job? Are you uncomfortable every time she brought up her sex life? What else is there that you are attracted to her? Focus on those instead. There are many questions you should be answered yourself, too! what type of friends are you to her? helpful friend? "I'm there for sex" friend? or, spiritual friend? You should tell her what you think of her as a person. She maybe working too hard to please you as if you are her clients not her friends!

I have never asked her to stop and I don't even think that. I'm not a white knight type.

It use to kill me that she was sleeping with other men for money, but I've gone past that much to my amazement.

 

[yolosohobby]

What are you really asking? Do I sound green?

in my teens and twenties i was capable of jealousy, less so now as i realize that everyone has a life story and their sexual choices are just one aspect of their life story. just wondering what stage of life you were at - you may age/ mature/ experience out of you worldview w age.

 

[swanky]

My mother use to tell me not to socialize with people who don't share your values. I have always in my life rebelled against this, but I'm having second thoughts because fundamentally this is where the problem lies. Two separate worlds, two spheres of social reality, two different value systems.

 

[OddSox]

I have never asked her to stop and I don't even think that. I'm not a white knight type.

It use to kill me that she was sleeping with other men for money, but I've gone past that much to my amazement.

Doesn't really sound like you're 'past that'.

 

[Ms.FemmeFatale]

You don't understand her mind set so therefore it will not make sense to you. She is very empowered by selling it. There is an emotional boundary in selling it and that seems very acceptable to her as well. She can get what she needs/wants successfully.

I say, it is the man she sleeps with for free that you have to worry about, if you have those types of feelings for her. Which in a way, I think you do.

 

[Petzel]

I would be hesitant of any SP who doesn't properly screen her clients. You said she takes strangers off the street. That's just a tragedy waiting to happen. The fact that she will let just anyone fuck her for $200, doesn't say much about her self esteem. In fact it sounds non existent.

 

[Jiffypop69]

I'm pretty handy. Does she need a room painted? Or a deck built ?
Just kidding...
Back-in-the-day I used to date strippers, and can say from first hand experience that SOME of these girls have serious game. Not saying she does, but be careful. Remember that her feelings are probably not be involved when you're paying her for sex. Other than that, you might want to consider just bring her friend and not a paying customer. See how that goes.
Best of luck.

 

[swanky]

Doesn't really sound like you're 'past that'.

May be not completely but at the same time, it no longer kills me. I feel as though I've compromised on so many of my values relating to the dignity of the human body. May be just conveniently desensitized to it.

 

[swanky]

You don't understand her mind set so therefore it will not make sense to you. She is very empowered by selling it. There is an emotional boundary in selling it and that seems very acceptable to her as well. She can get what she needs/wants successfully.

I believe this to be true of her. She does feeling empowered by the fact that doors will open for her because she has something that men want.