Inheritance - How often does it pull a family apart?

Sep 13, 2009
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I know a family where the grandmother has just passed away, and she has left her house and savings to her two children ( brother and sister ). The brother lives here in the GTA and his business went bad a few years ago. He lost his business and had to sell his house. He moved his family into the rental part of his mothers duplex house. ( his childhood home ) When the grandmother passed away, the will stated that her son and daughter would each get half of her estate. The money part is easy to split up. It is the house the brother lives in that is the problem, he refuses to leave it or to pay for half the house to his sister. The sister lives in BC, she has difficulty with suing her brother and even if she does it is a long distance venture. How often do these estate squabbles occur?
 

Ms.FemmeFatale

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Jun 18, 2011
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Brother will not have a choice. He either buys out the sister, they sell it and split it or the sister agrees to rent it out and collect half the money.

There is not other way around it. The estate will not be closed until they agree and all it done. It will take a couple of year but it will be done one way or another.

Who is the executor of the will?
 

dj1470

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Apr 7, 2005
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Happens all the time.

When my wealthy uncle died my cousin went insane when she learned my brother was executor of the will. She was cut out of the will (on purpose by her father) and did everything she could to get control of the estate. She lost but court proceedings to over 2 years to complete. After the final judgement my brother simply liquidated the estate, gave out the monetary bequests, and gave the rest to a scholarship in my uncle's name at his old high school. In the subsequent 6 years I have not heard a word from my cousin. She sent a nasty letter to my brother about 4 years ago. We don't expect any contact ever again. Yes it's called greed and yes it pulls family apart.

The brother you mention needs to get an agreement with his sister. If it gets to court the judge will certainly divide the assets including the house and that means selling it.
 

kenpachi

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Oct 13, 2010
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Shit like this happens all the time. It's called greed. Some family members end up killing eachother for money.
 

Aardvark154

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A not insignificant percentage of the time, which of course phrased another way means much of the time no.

One problem in this case is that while mother's will was simple, it failed to take into account that the son was actually living in the house.
 

bazokajoe

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Nov 6, 2010
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They occur every day.The sister has an open and shut case.The will is the law.I understand she has difficulty with suing her brother,but she may have to.Not to mention it will cost her big legal fees.
My brothers and I had to deal with my Mom's estate last year and the lawyer told us some horror stories about how greedy some families get.
 

bazokajoe

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Don't want to sound cruel,but the quicker they settle this the more money they will have to split.
 

Butler1000

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Oct 31, 2011
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Fortunately the trend in my family is to discuss these things ahead of time, including power of attorny matters before it becomes an issue. A lot of families don't sit down ahead of time to figure these things out. They are too afraid too.
Usually its the ones who get themselves in a jam/ can't handle money that feel that sense of entitlement. They think that mom and dad owe them for some reason. Sad really.
 

Ms.FemmeFatale

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Fortunately the trend in my family is to discuss these things ahead of time, including power of attorny matters before it becomes an issue. A lot of families don't sit down ahead of time to figure these things out. They are too afraid too.
Usually its the ones who get themselves in a jam/ can't handle money that feel that sense of entitlement. They think that mom and dad owe them for some reason. Sad really.
We did that with my mom. But we were lucky in that we knew she was passing. The deal was I took care of pre-death. My brother took care of post-death. So I was POA and he was executor. I didn't want the responsibility while dealing with her passing. It would have been to much for me.

I am however and always have been finically sound. My brother was not. So before she passed my mom bought house and moved my brother and his girlfriend And my nephew in. We all knew the house would be his. That was the plan.

While it is hard to discuss, it is the responsible thing to do. If you are a parent and you know your kids will fight. Appoint a non relative as the executor. They won't get emotionally involved.
 

bazokajoe

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Nov 6, 2010
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Fortunately the trend in my family is to discuss these things ahead of time, including power of attorny matters before it becomes an issue. A lot of families don't sit down ahead of time to figure these things out. They are too afraid too.
Usually its the ones who get themselves in a jam/ can't handle money that feel that sense of entitlement. They think that mom and dad owe them for some reason. Sad really.
Thats why everyone regardless of age,should have a living will,power of attorny and a final will.It will only cost a couple hundred bucks so whats the big deal.
 

TeasePlease

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Aug 3, 2010
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I see a lot of estate disputes, often as a result of one or more kids/beneficiaries doing something naughty.

i hate estate work only slightly less than i hate matrimonial work. It's the worst of human nature.
 

Perry Mason

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Aug 20, 2001
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These kinds of cases are, unfortunately, a dime a dozen.

They are seldom complex legally but full of emotions, resentments and simple, ordinary greed and bullshit that make lawyers rich. :p

If your facts are accurate, this matter can be resolved relatively quickly with an application to the Court for partition and sale of the house. There is very little that the brother can do by way of defence. And he will also wind up paying all the legal costs involved out of his share of the proceeds of sale.

But I disagree with you TeasePlease. There is nothing worse than acrimonious matrimonial work because it most frequently winds up in a very messy and hard to manage trial... however, to each his own poison!

BTW, probate has nothing to do with these kinds of disputes. Probate has to do with proving the authenticity and validity of the Will. These disputes are about distribution of the Estate assets once the Will has been probated. Of course, probate is not completed until all assets are distributed and the Trustees have their Estate Accounts (and fees) approved by the Court.

WWW: great topic for Family Day... :hail:

Perry
 

Prophet

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It's a little easier in Quebec where wills don't go through probate and the courts are reluctant to hear arguments against the estate. What's on paper is what it is and you'd better learn to live with the deceased's decisions.

If an estate is going to be large enough, a person could consider arranging a professional executor. Costs a percentage but at least keeps the rest of the family on level terms.
 

Prophet

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I see a lot of estate disputes, often as a result of one or more kids/beneficiaries doing something naughty.

i hate estate work only slightly less than i hate matrimonial work. It's the worst of human nature.
Two most stressful times in people's lives.
 

bazokajoe

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Not all estates have to go through probate.Alot of factors have to do with probating a will or not probabting.
 

JohnLarue

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Jan 19, 2005
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Observing all these issues makes a strong case for spending all your wealth and leaving just enough to cover any bills & a simple burial

You could have a beautiful escort fuck your brains out tonight or you could save that $ only to have your family fight over it in the future
 

buttercup

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Feb 28, 2005
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It is a well-known thing that, when the general level of spite, greed, and overall viciousness between the parties is rated by category of lawsuit, estate law (wills) are the most vicious. Second most vicious is family law (divorce). Third most vicious is disputes between former business partners. Incidentally, the least vicious of the major categories is disputes about patents. But those who think patent disputes never get vicious are a very small minority.
 
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