Men, sex, and emotional intimacy

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Spacealien2

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Apr 29, 2012
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These 3 for me as well

"some buy sex because they find it risky, thrilling, or sporting (calling themselves hobbyists);
some wish to avoid the obligations or emotional complications involved in a conventional relationship; and
some seek a limited romantic or emotional connection in addition to or instead of a purely physical experience."

Especially the last one, less so the 2nd. Having a connection makes it 9000 times more fun. But in the back of my mind I know that it's 100% fake. As with all things in life, great risks come great rewards (pun intended...), just have to handle the consequences well. It does the job until I'm in a better position to get into a real relationship.
 
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GPIDEAL

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Jun 27, 2010
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train said:
I can see that happening. I've made a concious effort to always have more than one "favourite". I've seen one girl in Montreal every month for 5 years. Know her real name, picked her up at her apartment to take her away for a weekend, know her dog's name and that she has a kid. She has slept over at my place here. I feel we are "friends". I used to see her one night and her best friend the next night for several years until her friend retired. Never assumed I was owed a "freebie" but I do get favoured client rates.

It's kinda like being a friend with your lawyer or accountant except you really have to protect yourself mentally because sex is a powerful drug sometimes, and she is spectacular.

Recently saw a returning Montreal legend who has the reputation (rightly or wrongly) of leaving clients broke and turning them into stalkers ( at least two of them). I can see how it happens. She is unique in that she never asks me for money and you just pay what you feel is fair. Another spectacular woman with brains and many talents.
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babemagnet said:
I have had a couple of long term "relationships" with sp's who seemed like friends. I believe there was genuine mutual fondness and trust.However my present ATF is a mind fuck because she has got under my skin. She is nothing but friendly and professional and generous, but I find I am having feelings for her to where I am jealous. When I read a review about her giving someone else a great session it is not good .
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Take Train's advice (as mine). There's another girl who will do it for you, but start off just focusing on the sex or specific menu item. The great thing about the hobby is, you can see another gal or many with impunity, if you're incumbent is dis-satisfying you in some way. The only time where doing so can even make your provider jealous or cause drama is if you see your ATF's rival and she knows about it.

Spacealien2 said:
These 3 for me as well

"some buy sex because they find it risky, thrilling, or sporting (calling themselves hobbyists);
some wish to avoid the obligations or emotional complications involved in a conventional relationship; and
some seek a limited romantic or emotional connection in addition to or instead of a purely physical experience."

Especially the last one, less so the 2nd. Having a connection makes it 9000 times more fun. But in the back of my mind I know that it's 100% fake. As with all things in life, great risks come great rewards (pun intended...), just have to handle the consequences well. It does the job until I'm in a better position to get into a real relationship.
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Well said. Live to the fullest, but sometimes, you are going into uncharted waters which may get choppy or lead to a few storms.
 
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oldstud47

Active member
May 2, 2005
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I'll be honest. I seek the sex as well as a little attacment because of a total lack of it at home for what ever reason. I became emotionally involved at one time which I enjoyed and it was a little bit of a bummer when it ended however if the opportunity arose and the chemistry was right I would be alot smarter this time and not let my emotions take over
 
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GPIDEAL

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Jun 27, 2010
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TeasePlease said:
The question is why you thought you should pm the guy or "confront" the SP in the first place. That was the beginning the slippery slope. Glad you shook yourself out of it.

btw, I enjoyed reading the article. Raises many questions that I hope the researchers will follow up to probe
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Not that I disagree with you, but why can't he as a regular ask her if she can also do what she did in a review? If she refuses or gives some bullshit excuse, then he knows it's either YMMV or that she's uncomfortable. Then he can drop it. Or hey may get lucky. What's the risk? What's the slippery slope?
 
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jazzpig

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Jul 17, 2003
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TeasePlease said:
The question is why you thought you should pm the guy or "confront" the SP in the first place. That was the beginning the slippery slope. Glad you shook yourself out of it.

btw, I enjoyed reading the article. Raises many questions that I hope the researchers will follow up to probe
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For a lot a of guys ego has a lot to do with it, and I don't mean ego in a negative way.
I hobby very infrequently, but I have great connections in all my encouters.
I like to think I'm something special, bring something extra to the engagement, make her feel something nobody else does.
Is it realistic, it's happened twice that we crossed pro/client lines, but generally no.
It's easy to get feelings like babemagnet if you see someone repeatedly.
 
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GPIDEAL

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Jun 27, 2010
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babemagnet said:
Yes, I have had sp's who are widely reviewed and enjoyed by many, and no problem. Don't take it personal, but this one........., I guess you like them so much you want to possess them. I pm'd a guy who claimed she did "extras" and he said yes she definitely did. I asked her about it at my next session and she denied it. Her demeanor made me believe her, but the guy has credibility with his reviews. I was going to start pm'ing other guys to verify or disprove. Then I thought. Fuck it. I don't want to know. Suck it up. She's not in love with you. She give me enough and I am grateful that I can see her at all.
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I was thinking that she may not even know about the review until you mentioned it. Now she has her guard up as it could be a case of YMMV. You didn't do anything wrong to bring it up with her. But if it's true, and I wasn't getting the full monty, assuming it was something I was interested in, it would bother me unless I had an alternative gal as an outlet.

If she pleases you but for that other guy's review, it may be that she's uncomfortable doing that with you (she sorta got close therefore, she has a hang up, OR it's a YMMV thing). Personally, I don't see the point of seeing an SP or MPA if she has a hang up or varying her mileage with me.
 
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GPIDEAL

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Jun 27, 2010
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jazzpig said:
For a lot a of guys ego has a lot to do with it, and I don't mean ego in a negative way.
I hobby very infrequently, but I have great connections in all my encouters.
I like to think I'm something special, bring something extra to the engagement, make her feel something nobody else does.
Is it realistic, it's happened twice that we crossed pro/client lines, but generally no.
It's easy to get feelings like babemagnet if you see someone repeatedly.
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Understood about the 'bruising of the ego', but once that cat is out of the bag, it may taint the 'relationship'. Thanks for your POV jazzpig. (So are you really a jazz music junkie?)
 
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jazzpig

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Jul 17, 2003
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GPIDEAL said:
Understood about the 'bruising of the ego', but once that cat is out of the bag, it may taint the 'relationship'. Thanks for your POV jazzpig. (So are you really a jazz music junkie?)
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A pig at the jazz trough if you will.
 
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TeasePlease

Cockasian Brother
Aug 3, 2010
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jazzpig said:
For a lot a of guys ego has a lot to do with it, and I don't mean ego in a negative way.
I hobby very infrequently, but I have great connections in all my encouters.
I like to think I'm something special, bring something extra to the engagement, make her feel something nobody else does.
Is it realistic, it's happened twice that we crossed pro/client lines, but generally no.
It's easy to get feelings like babemagnet if you see someone repeatedly.
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Agreed. For the same reason why some guys love to spend time during a session pleasuring the SP or MPA.

It's the "feeling like your special" that makes me shake my head. A good SP/MPA will do that to every guy, every time. Some guys don't get that. Thus, the line gets blurred in their own minds and they perceive something that isn't there.
 
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train

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Hey it's not like women haven't been deceiving men since the beginning of time using sex as the bait, this just happens to be in a temporary situation.
 
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GPIDEAL

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Jun 27, 2010
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TeasePlease said:
Agreed. For the same reason why some guys love to spend time during a session pleasuring the SP or MPA.

It's the "feeling like your special" that makes me shake my head. A good SP/MPA will do that to every guy, every time. Some guys don't get that. Thus, the line gets blurred in their own minds and they perceive something that isn't there.
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Okay but now Babemagnet doesn't feel so special. He can pretend that he does, but deep down, he knows otherwise. He calls her a 'mind fuck'. If he doesn't want to sever the relationship, continue seeing her, but see other girls for the full monty, or move on and stop seeing her.
 
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TeasePlease

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Aug 3, 2010
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Whatever happened to this being a "hobby?
 
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