I'm married almost 5 years. I make maybe 5-8 SP visits a year. She has no clue. HOwever I'm retiring from hobby because it does nothing for me anymore. I want to rebuild my marriage and be more honest. Does your wife know you see SPs? Would you consider telling her?
Question for married guys
- Thread starter zeebo
- Start date
My deepest sympathy to the OP for being institutionalized in marriage.
Tell her about the sps after your divorce settlement is finalized.
Tell her about the sps after your divorce settlement is finalized.
Debbie downer much?
Don't tell her of your hobby as it will not end well. We all have secrets, just some worse than others. This one is a doozie. Chances are she not a reincarnation of Mother Theresa. Just pick up where you left off 8 years ago and bump it up a bit.
These guys are right nothing good will come out of this and you will hurt her. If you are retiring forreal and will never be with another women besides your wife then go get checked out fully then surprise her with a 5 star vacation to the place she's always wanted to go. She deserves it and it should start to be a great rebuilding step.
Good luck
Good luck
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She will divorce you if you tell her, I can guarantee you that.
But, if she's suspicious and you feel that she may find out later on..you should tell her yourself first (this will give you brownie points)
If she's not suspicious, don't tell her and start making up for it.
But, if she's suspicious and you feel that she may find out later on..you should tell her yourself first (this will give you brownie points)
If she's not suspicious, don't tell her and start making up for it.
Telling her will most likely put an end to your marriage instead of helping to rebuild it. Nothing good will come out of it.
If things didn't take place in your own bed it is not cheating.
If things took place in a different city it is not cheating.
And especially if things took place in a different time zone, it never happened.
There you should feel better now. Also why do you even think of telling your SO???? Shhhhh.... if you feel the need to quit then just quit.
If things took place in a different city it is not cheating.
And especially if things took place in a different time zone, it never happened.
There you should feel better now. Also why do you even think of telling your SO???? Shhhhh.... if you feel the need to quit then just quit.
No idea who FUJI is.
Would I be happier if I know who and what FUJI is? If yes please do tell if not please don't!
Well it is a serious question. I've always been extremely careful. Encrypted hard drive, never keep phone/text records, separate email for hobbying stuff. So there is like 0% chance that she'll find out about my SP activity. However she probably already has some suspicions. We've had periods with very low frequency of sexual activiey. I recently learned that she might have gotten STD tested (clinic in browser history).
ALso there are 2 longer term non SP flings I've had in past, and it's definitely possible she finds out about one of those. Reason I say that is that one of them randomly called me the other day (haven't been together in over 2 years). I kinda just want to start fresh and stop living a lie. But I definitely agree it is a huge risk and it will hurt her a lot.
ALso there are 2 longer term non SP flings I've had in past, and it's definitely possible she finds out about one of those. Reason I say that is that one of them randomly called me the other day (haven't been together in over 2 years). I kinda just want to start fresh and stop living a lie. But I definitely agree it is a huge risk and it will hurt her a lot.
Not a good idea. You probably don't want to know she bangs her hairdresser,the "tell all" thing doesn't usually go your way.
that has always been my stance.
Don't tell her. Ignorance really is bliss.
As much as I do what I do .... I am still a woman. I know that a lot of men (and yes - a lot of women) stray from their relationships and I understand that every relationship has its complexities and there are often understandable reasons why one party may stray....
but at the end of the day ~ regardless of what I understand (because of what I've seen and heard during my time working in this little word).... I'd be hurt if I found out my significant other was partaking in the services of someone like me. If I'm with someone who loves me but strays... I would just hope he respects me enough to hide it from me and those who know me. I don't want to look or feel like a fool.
Just protect her from it. You aren't a bad person for having seen escorts - she likely will not understand. Women and men really do have differences between how they do or don't compartmentalize sex and love. Telling her may clear your conscience but it may very-well cause her pain.
Do you Really think terb is the right place for your moralizing message and value judgements?
Maybe there is a Conservative Christian forum you could try instead. You'll probably get more traction there.
