Hi everybody - I love my wife but after two kids, she has zero interest in sex. I've tried to get her to realize that sex is important for me with no success. Is this a decision I will regret?
I'm in a sexless marriage, should I take the pliunge and start seeing escorts?
- Thread starter sammy_smith
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of course it is a decision you will regret. it appears that that you want to have sex with your wife if given the option. you are considering 'cheating' as that option to have sex with wife is not on the table. you will probably see escorts behind your wife's back. you will worry about getting caught. you will have regret. the question is does the regret outweigh your need to have sex?but asking this crowd here for an opinion is only one step better than asking people who post on ashley madison or casual encounters section. in other words, you will probably get permission from this crowd as most of us feel that a wife who chooses not put out is entlited to that decision. but she cannot expect you to live like a monk.
syn
When you're horny and balls are a bustin', who you gonna call? Ball busters!
Mirage, Exquisite, Dream, GOE, Roommates, Cupids, Toronto Passions, GSpot, TGF
Mirage, Exquisite, Dream, GOE, Roommates, Cupids, Toronto Passions, GSpot, TGF
B
burt-oh-my!
Yes, she can. Her points of view will probably be:
a) She can control herself, so why can't you?
b) Those wedding vows, "to love and to cherish, till death do you part ..."
c) She will feel betrayed
d) She will feel inadequate
e) "Guy Logic" rarely works on women
Finally, do you know the reason she isn't in to sex? Is she not feeling loved? An affair? Medical?
Counselling is much cheaper than a divorce.
If you really love your wife, I can almost guarantee you will regret it. From the first encounter, you will most likely be living with a fair amount of guilt and fear all the time. I personally wouldn't risk the rest of my life with someone I love for 'moments' with strangers.
Since you're on terb, do you already have sex with other women? Are you only asking to get our approval and to rationalize your behaviour?
If you truly love your wife and children, being unfaithful isn't an option. Talk with her some more, tell her your concerns, listen to her points. Is she too tired? Is it out of spite, maybe she's angry at something else and this is her only weapon?
Counselling might help for both of you.
If you truly love your wife and children, being unfaithful isn't an option. Talk with her some more, tell her your concerns, listen to her points. Is she too tired? Is it out of spite, maybe she's angry at something else and this is her only weapon?
Counselling might help for both of you.
That's one reason I never got married. I watch the parade of married men leaving their homes in the morning because they CAN WAIT to get away from their wives. Can't imagine why most even got married other than EVERYONE ELSE IS. I know people engaged now that shouldn't get married. It's SO IMPORTANT for the to have kids so that they can show their kids how to ignore there husband/wife and children. They teach their kids how to sit around, watch TV and get obese.
There should be a law where you have to go through counciling to get married. Most couples have NO FUCKING CLUE!!
Cracks me up, the one's WHO THINK they have such a "great marriage" and you know one's cheating or just staying together because of the expense of divorce.
Sorry, I'm not much help. You fucked up.
There should be a law where you have to go through counciling to get married. Most couples have NO FUCKING CLUE!!
Cracks me up, the one's WHO THINK they have such a "great marriage" and you know one's cheating or just staying together because of the expense of divorce.
Sorry, I'm not much help. You fucked up.
Its tough. I asked this question about 4 years ago. Two things happened...I never had the guts to try an escort...and the sex came back!!
Better than before kids.
While I still dable in the SC scene...the time/money spent is at an absolute minimum these days.
I would suggest that escorts are better than having an affair.
Good Luck!
Better than before kids.
While I still dable in the SC scene...the time/money spent is at an absolute minimum these days.
I would suggest that escorts are better than having an affair.
Good Luck!
- from the angel on one shoulder.
Now from the devil on the other shoulder :
Wimp - snap out of it ! Life is for living - why would you deny yourself one of the most beautiful pleasures in life - just don't tell the bitch ! She could careless about satisfying you but now you are expected to blow your dick off and become a monk for the rest of your life? Listen - you can have your cake and eat to because you are careful and cover your tracks. Even if your dick got the plague and fell off, she wouldn't care - probably save her the aggravation of ignoring that occasional boner against her some nights as you dream about being a man again. Think about it - how much can she really love you to be so selfish about your feelings ? Life is too short ... just one afternoon of remembering the feeling of passionate loving with an incredibly beautiful young girl. What's the harm ?
There is something seriously wrong with your marriage if it is sexless. I agree with previous posters that counseling is the way to go. At least in the event that talking cannot clear up the discrepancy in expectations. And as others have pointed out in previous threads on the subject, there may be hormonal/medical reasons for loss of sex drive. If counseling does not work, or if she is not interested, I would say next stop should be a lawyer's office. Divorce is better than dysfunctional, sexless marriage. Resentment will only grow in this marriage.
Odd, most of the single guys that didn't get married I know couldn't get a girl to say 'I do'. Once they move out of their parents basement they become loners looking for places they can be with someone. Christmas time is a lonely breakfast for one waiting for people who have lives to invite them to dinner or out of pity bring them into their family experience - the family experience that he craves but can't acknowledge.
Yup, they sure fucked up !
If you choose to go the SP route, rest assured that you WILL get caught. It's not a question of if, it's a question of when. Wimmen seem to have a sixth sense about these things.
Oddly, these very same wimmen will say that sex isn't that important in a marriage, but when the guy gets caught dipping his pen in another wimmen's inkwell, suddenly that's a HUGE betrayal... Yea, it makes no sense to me either.
Counselling is step 1. Step 2, to take place simultaneously and without her knowledge, is starting to get your financial and legal affairs in order in case wife pulls the plug. It's extremely common for wimmen to "check out" of the marriage long before they actually go for a divorce. And why not? They're getting all the benefits of a relationship without having to put in any effort (i.e.: sex).
Good luck. Unfortunately, I am pretty sure that you're not going to see a lawyer/financial manager first because you truly believe the marriage can be saved... but it won't, because wife has already decided to leave, she just hasn't told you yet, and you're going to get assraped by the legal system when it comes to alimony/support/etc.
Oddly, these very same wimmen will say that sex isn't that important in a marriage, but when the guy gets caught dipping his pen in another wimmen's inkwell, suddenly that's a HUGE betrayal... Yea, it makes no sense to me either.
Counselling is step 1. Step 2, to take place simultaneously and without her knowledge, is starting to get your financial and legal affairs in order in case wife pulls the plug. It's extremely common for wimmen to "check out" of the marriage long before they actually go for a divorce. And why not? They're getting all the benefits of a relationship without having to put in any effort (i.e.: sex).
Good luck. Unfortunately, I am pretty sure that you're not going to see a lawyer/financial manager first because you truly believe the marriage can be saved... but it won't, because wife has already decided to leave, she just hasn't told you yet, and you're going to get assraped by the legal system when it comes to alimony/support/etc.
Capncrunch nailed it. She has already checked out. Protect yourself with good legal/financial advice soon. You will get hammered by the fucked-up legal system but you can soften the blow by being prepared in certain ways.
Have you asked her about the possibility of seeing SPs? I believe there are a couple of posters on this board who have wives that are totally cool with it. She might be understanding as long as you make it clear to her that you just need the physical relief from time to time, and you will completely open about your hobby....then again 99% of wives would probably throw a kitchen utensil at you in response to such a request.
It may take a while to reset your moral compass on this one but it will save your marriage!
Much more fun than counselling, you will also find yourself nicer to your wife (Which may lead to more sex)
Its a win, win!
if she cannot do for you out of love what escorts do for a hundred bucks then her love ain't worth shit
I would divorce her as soon as in my opinion the kids would be able to accept it
meanwhile seeing SPs is your holy and sacred right
live like a man, not like a pussy-whipped doormat
I would divorce her as soon as in my opinion the kids would be able to accept it
meanwhile seeing SPs is your holy and sacred right
live like a man, not like a pussy-whipped doormat
