Well for those of you that have been following, or care, you might remember as my New Year's Resolutions thread, I said I wanted to attend to my mental health and weight issues. Shortly into the new year, I posted Wow...Damn It, about the dropping weight as well.
About a month later, I posted in the same thread that my doctor would like to see me down to 210 by the 10th, and ultimately down to 180, and that we would be trying an antidepressant called Cymbalta.
Well 5 weeks later...
Well I dare not say that Cymbalta is awesome, but it is something else alright. The first week on it was side effect heaven, dealing with waves of drowsiness and nausea, with a side of dizziness and insomnia for good measure. But those passed in about a week. But then there was the difficulty ejaculating. To put it bluntly, where I could cum in about 5 minutes masturbating, it was now taking 30+. That too has passed, for better or worse.
Now do I say I feel terrific or even amazing? No, not really. I have ingrained thought patterns that need dealing with. But gone is the anger, frustration, guilt and pointlessness that haunted me nearly day in and day out. I don't know how describe how I used to feel without sounding like some goth art fag. It used to feel like all my thoughts were being dragged through an inky black mist before they came to the surface, so they were always dark, dirty and tainted (and not in the Terb way of dirty either). When it came to negative thoughts, my head was like an echo chamber, in that they would just resound and resound, and kept getting louder, I don't feel that any more. I still get angry, frustrated and feel guilty, but it doesn't have that resonance that it used to.
Now I was also having concerns about my sex drive. I haven't heard anything back regarding the blood tests taken on my last appointment. It would be best to say it's flickering. It's there rolling about, flaring up and fading down. Doing a little better than it was a month or so ago, but still nothing compared to those of other posters...
But now on to the physical...
Well my diet has improved, though could be better. I won't go into it, because it does involve cheating (chocolate and ice cream). But I figure cheat a little to keep the cravings happy, or run a greater risk of just straight out collapsing to them. It's definitely not an extreme diet, like Atkins or the Caveman Diet. Just closer to the Canadian Food Guide. I'm still not eating enough fruits and veggies, nor drinking enough water, but it's getting there. Coke is almost completely gone from my diet. Down from 3-4 cans a day, to 2-3 a week...And when I do drink it, it's either Diet or Zero. Only downside I'm experiencing is do I have a lot of gas.
Now some have asked what did I weigh when I started...And honestly, I do not know. I got speaking with a gentleman that used to work where I did, and he has similar health issues as me. He guessed I was about 250lbs. So we can use that as a reference point.
When I saw my doctor last, I weighed in at 229lbs (or 233 according to his scale). He said he'd like to see my drop 10% by my next appointment, or down to about 210lbs. As of yesterday, I'm 214lbs. I doubt I'll make the 210 mark by next Wens, but I'll be damned close!!
But to think, if I did start at 250, and the Dr would like to see me down to 180...At 214, I'm half way there!! And this is the lightest I've been since I went to university, at least.
I'm really not noticing the weight loss. I can see my cloths are starting to hang on me. And my stomach looks like a new kind if hell, with the rolls of loose skin (sexy isn't it?). I still have my love shelf and man boobs. But neighbors, coworkers and customers are now commenting to be about the change in my appearance. Back in December, I was wearing a 44 belt, I'm not half way through a 38. I've gone from a 3XL work shirt to an XL, and am considering dropping to an L.
And while I'm still fat and floppy, I can actually say I'm probably in the best aerobic shape I've been in since childhood!! I can partially accredit it to the exercise and lost weight...But really I want to blame it on two things...When I was growing up, my asthma was never under control. Until I started to university, I was never medicated for my asthma. So I exert myself and I'd become winded. Now I'm on an inhaler, and while it's a pain in the arse, I can breath so much easier. Secondly, I used to focus on what I was doing when I exercised...I now focus on my breathing. If I can keep my breathing under control, I can keep going. I can do the treadmill and elliptical for an hour now at a decent (not blistering) pace (about 5-5.5mph) and not get winded. I never could before.
My motivation? Basically, I'm sick and tired of looking at the fat dough boy in the mirror. And to think all this got started with getting laid....Had I known that, I would have tried to get laid ages ago. But I think it's finally "My Time". But I am also using a little carrot on the end of a stick as my added motivation...
Those in chat already know what it is....I'm abstaining from hobbying until I get my weight down, and am happy with it. That's right, no nooky for me until I'm 180 or less. I'm not headed to the Blue Balls Express, I'm already on it!!
Now I do have a few ladies in mind to celebrate with, but I'll keep their names close to my chest. But any ladies who venture in here, and might like to offer to celebrate with me can either post here, or PM me. *wink* (Yeah right)
*Whew* That went a little longer than expected, but tells you how god I feel about it.
About a month later, I posted in the same thread that my doctor would like to see me down to 210 by the 10th, and ultimately down to 180, and that we would be trying an antidepressant called Cymbalta.
Well 5 weeks later...
Well I dare not say that Cymbalta is awesome, but it is something else alright. The first week on it was side effect heaven, dealing with waves of drowsiness and nausea, with a side of dizziness and insomnia for good measure. But those passed in about a week. But then there was the difficulty ejaculating. To put it bluntly, where I could cum in about 5 minutes masturbating, it was now taking 30+. That too has passed, for better or worse.
Now do I say I feel terrific or even amazing? No, not really. I have ingrained thought patterns that need dealing with. But gone is the anger, frustration, guilt and pointlessness that haunted me nearly day in and day out. I don't know how describe how I used to feel without sounding like some goth art fag. It used to feel like all my thoughts were being dragged through an inky black mist before they came to the surface, so they were always dark, dirty and tainted (and not in the Terb way of dirty either). When it came to negative thoughts, my head was like an echo chamber, in that they would just resound and resound, and kept getting louder, I don't feel that any more. I still get angry, frustrated and feel guilty, but it doesn't have that resonance that it used to.
Now I was also having concerns about my sex drive. I haven't heard anything back regarding the blood tests taken on my last appointment. It would be best to say it's flickering. It's there rolling about, flaring up and fading down. Doing a little better than it was a month or so ago, but still nothing compared to those of other posters...
But now on to the physical...
Well my diet has improved, though could be better. I won't go into it, because it does involve cheating (chocolate and ice cream). But I figure cheat a little to keep the cravings happy, or run a greater risk of just straight out collapsing to them. It's definitely not an extreme diet, like Atkins or the Caveman Diet. Just closer to the Canadian Food Guide. I'm still not eating enough fruits and veggies, nor drinking enough water, but it's getting there. Coke is almost completely gone from my diet. Down from 3-4 cans a day, to 2-3 a week...And when I do drink it, it's either Diet or Zero. Only downside I'm experiencing is do I have a lot of gas.
Now some have asked what did I weigh when I started...And honestly, I do not know. I got speaking with a gentleman that used to work where I did, and he has similar health issues as me. He guessed I was about 250lbs. So we can use that as a reference point.
When I saw my doctor last, I weighed in at 229lbs (or 233 according to his scale). He said he'd like to see my drop 10% by my next appointment, or down to about 210lbs. As of yesterday, I'm 214lbs. I doubt I'll make the 210 mark by next Wens, but I'll be damned close!!
But to think, if I did start at 250, and the Dr would like to see me down to 180...At 214, I'm half way there!! And this is the lightest I've been since I went to university, at least.
I'm really not noticing the weight loss. I can see my cloths are starting to hang on me. And my stomach looks like a new kind if hell, with the rolls of loose skin (sexy isn't it?). I still have my love shelf and man boobs. But neighbors, coworkers and customers are now commenting to be about the change in my appearance. Back in December, I was wearing a 44 belt, I'm not half way through a 38. I've gone from a 3XL work shirt to an XL, and am considering dropping to an L.
And while I'm still fat and floppy, I can actually say I'm probably in the best aerobic shape I've been in since childhood!! I can partially accredit it to the exercise and lost weight...But really I want to blame it on two things...When I was growing up, my asthma was never under control. Until I started to university, I was never medicated for my asthma. So I exert myself and I'd become winded. Now I'm on an inhaler, and while it's a pain in the arse, I can breath so much easier. Secondly, I used to focus on what I was doing when I exercised...I now focus on my breathing. If I can keep my breathing under control, I can keep going. I can do the treadmill and elliptical for an hour now at a decent (not blistering) pace (about 5-5.5mph) and not get winded. I never could before.
My motivation? Basically, I'm sick and tired of looking at the fat dough boy in the mirror. And to think all this got started with getting laid....Had I known that, I would have tried to get laid ages ago. But I think it's finally "My Time". But I am also using a little carrot on the end of a stick as my added motivation...
Those in chat already know what it is....I'm abstaining from hobbying until I get my weight down, and am happy with it. That's right, no nooky for me until I'm 180 or less. I'm not headed to the Blue Balls Express, I'm already on it!!
Now I do have a few ladies in mind to celebrate with, but I'll keep their names close to my chest. But any ladies who venture in here, and might like to offer to celebrate with me can either post here, or PM me. *wink* (Yeah right)
*Whew* That went a little longer than expected, but tells you how god I feel about it.
