dclowd9901 139 points140 points141 points 3 months ago* [-]
Oh I've got a great one.
I wanted to go on a date with this girl for the longest time. Super sweet, pretty (beautiful, really), funny, smart and classy as hell. She was a couple years older than me, and that was kind of a turn on as well. We had hung out many times before with friends, but I finally got the courage to ask her for a 1-on-1 thing, and she abided.
I decide to take her to this teppanyaki place. If you've never been to one, it's the asian-style restaurant where the cook the food right in front of you. Fun times. She looks as sweet and pretty as ever, and we head out to the restaurant in my 94 civic, which I just got cleaned that day. I had had some trouble with the radiator and the cooling system, but it wasn't that big a deal, so I didn't take it in that day to get it checked.
Anyway, we get there, and I get the car valeted. Good times, still. We go in, get seated, and we have a fun time and are really enjoying each other's company. So the bill comes and I hand the waiter my card and he comes back, "Sorry sir, your card was declined." I suddenly feel very warm and realize that perhaps I don't have enough money to pay for this meal. So I fish around in my wallet and grab the first credit card I see and hand it off to him as fast as I can. He comes back. "Declined." At this point, I'm literally sweating from my brow. Thankfully I had another card on me, and that went through just fine. This all sucked though because I was younger than her, and I didn't want to appear to not have my shit together.
So I pay the guy, give him a lousy tip for not being discreet about my card troubles, and head out with my date to where the valet guys are chilling.
"Hey, can you grab my car?" I ask, and hand them the ticket.
"Are you the one with the Civic?" one asks me anxiously. I say, "Uh... yeah?"
"When we parked your car, your engine blew up or something!"
I'm dumbfounded, "What do you mean, 'blew up?!'"
He goes on to explain that as he was parking my car, the radiator exploded and spewed coolant all over the place. Obviously I couldn't drive the car now. I look at my date, and she has a bit of a nervous smile on. Again, I'm not good with women, so I start apologizing for my obvious ineptitude. We go out to the car to inspect it, and sure enough, the radiator is cracked like a split watermelon.
We are at least 15 miles from home, and I live in Phoenix, where there is no decent public transit, so I start kind of freaking out. I'm in college, so I don't have a ton of extra money for a tow. She meekly offers that she has AAA and can give me a tow. At first I dismiss the idea (a AAA member only has limited tow miles a year), but decide that it's really the only way. We call the guy, and what follows is about 15-20 minutes of awkwardness as my mind is reeling, and I can do nothing but apologize and stammer over myself for being such a dipshit.
The tow guy finally arrives, and hoists my car. The guy is this freaky looking dude who is missing as many teeth as he has, and is covered in head to toe in engine grease. I offer to her to call one of her friends to come pick her up, but she refuses. She smiles and says she's having a great time. So I load up in the tow truck sitting bitch because I'd never make her sit by this guy. The whole way back, he's talking our ear off, and smelling up the cabin.
We finally get home, and she arranges for someone to come get her, but hangs out for a bit at our house, but at this point, I'm far too demoralized to try anything fresh, so I give her a hug and a final apology and we part ways. I never asked her on another date again. To this day, she swears that it was the best date she's ever been on.
Addendum: Now, looking back on it, I'm thinking she was dead on. If only my younger self had that sense of self and humor.
