With apologies to GWB-a joke

[yoniluvrca]

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he perfomed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events at the olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago, a cowboy, who was high on cocaine and alcohol, rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now, he's president of the United States.

 

[Jade4u]

ROFLMAO Very good Joke there. Love it.

 

[save me]

Very funny!

 

[keenez]

I heard that when the results were announced, websites detailing on immigration procedures to Canada hit an all time high.

 

[t8rs]

Here's another

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.

I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said.... "Monica, you're free to go."

 

[Sargon]

IMO this thread should be a sticky

 

[red]

lol

 

[langeweile]

An American and a Canadian are trying to go to heaven. Before they get to the gate, they are stopped by an angel.
"If you want to go heaven you have to give me $50".

The American pulls out his wallet and pays the fifty. He moves on and gets to the heavens gate, where St. Peter is waiting.

"I see you paid your $50 welcome to heaven. BTW what happened to the Canadian?".

Answers the American: "He is still wating for his goverment to pay the $50".

 

[zydeco]

No apology necessary.