Window Vista joke

[MuffinMuncher]

Bill Gates dies and goes to Hell. Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. But since I am in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a beautiful young blonde with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."

Satan locks the room after Bill enters. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in the bottom, but the girl doesn't!"

"What about the PC?" asks Lucifer.

"It's got Windows Vista!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys,"

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."

 

[cypherpunk]

It made a lot more sense before Bill became a philanthropist and when the joke was about Windows 95, not Vista.

Any more 90s jokes you want to give us? White guys walk that way and black guys walk this way?

 

[MuffinMuncher]

It made a lot more sense before Bill became a philanthropist and when the joke was about Windows 95, not Vista.

Any more 90s jokes you want to give us? White guys walk that way and black guys walk this way?

Guess I havent been around as long as you to catalog every joke every made. But feel free to post your collection of racial jokes, that should lighten the mood.

 

[Crixus]

It made a lot more sense before Bill became a philanthropist and when the joke was about Windows 95, not Vista.

Before you get all mushy about the philanthropy of the Gates foundation, I've heard it said - although I have not dug around to see if there is a basis for it - that the foundation uses part of it's money to aid those in foreign countries in need, and invests part of it to maintain the foundations assets, which makes sense as it ensures the foundation can keep working indefinitely.

However, apparently, the investment strategy of the foundation is none-too-wise, often investing in the very companies whose third world environmental damage is causing adverse health effects upon the very people the foundation is "helping".

Here's an example I just Google'd from the LA times: http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-gatesx07jan07,0,6827615.story

If this is the general practice of the foundation, one has to wonder about the value if its "good works" in the long run.

 

[Crixus]

that's how every foundation in the world runs. they invest the money they've been given.

And I stated that it made sense that this foundation does as well. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that.

My point is that it makes little sense to vaccinate the local children in a third world nation for measles, and then invest in a plant whose industrial wastes dump lead into their drinking water.

Such acts are not exactly philanthropic.

Thus don't go petitioning the Pope on behalf of "Saint Bill" just yet.

 

[newguy27]

i've heard different variations of this joke. What gets me is that, i doubt Gates drinks much anyways and to spend an eternity getting oral from a sexy beautiful girl in hell doesn't seem that bad after all, does it? And besides, ever hear of pushing the reset button on your computer to reboot?

I'd take that room in a heartbeat!!!

and i thought Satan and Lucifer were the same entity.

 

[Crixus]

and i thought Satan and Lucifer were the same entity.

As I understand it, Lucifer (Light-Bringer) is that being's name prior to "The Fall" - his/her/their/it's angelic name. Satan is a title, meaning adversary or accuser, given to Lucifer after the Rebellion, the war in Heaven, and being cast out.

So yeah, they're the same being - if you believe in the existence of said being to begin with.

To round it all out Devil seems to be a role or a job - that of a corrupter and tempter.

Lucifer = name
Satan = title
Devil = job

John Smith, MD, Chief Surgeon @ Toronto General
Lucifer, Satan, Devil