Wife 1.0

[Jade4u]

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving few system resources for other applications. He is also now noticing the Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product documentation, though other users have informed me that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.
Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself so that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. Some applications such as PokerNite 10.3 , Bachelor Party 2.5, and Pubnite 7.0 are no longer able to run on the system at all, causing the system to lockup when launched (even though the apps worked fine before).

Wife 1.0 provides no installation options. Thus, the installation of undesired plug-ins such as Mother-in-law 55.8 and the Brother-in-law Beta is unavoidable. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features my friend would like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:

A "don't remind me again" button.
Minimize button.
Ability to delete the "headache" file
An install feature that provides an option to uninstall 2.0 version without loss loss of other system resources.
An option to run the network driver in "promiscuous mode" allowing the the system's Hardware Probe feature to be much more useful/effective.
I myself wish I had decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 3.0 Even here, however, I have found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 4.0 on top of girlfriend 3.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 3.0 first, otherwise the two versions of Girlfriend will have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. Other users have told me that this is a long-standing problem that I should have been aware of. Guess that explains what happened to versions 1 and 2.

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another identified problem is that all versions of Girlfriend have annoying little messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0!

VIRUS ALERT

All users should be aware that Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Once that happens, Mistress 1.1 won't install and you will get an "insufficient resources" error message. To avoid the aforementioned bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and " never" run any file transfer applications(such as Laplink) between the two systems.

FYI: Don't even think about a shared directory!!!!!!!!!

 

[Jade4u]

Can you please advise me. I'm having some problems. I'm currently running the latest version of Girlfriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 all along as my primary application, and all the girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if you run girlfriend in background mode with the sound turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works okay. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with girlfriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance with GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said that I probably didn't have enough cache to run girlfriend 2.0, and that eventually it would require a Token ring to run properly. He was right --- as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself. Shortly after that, I installed girlfriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it gave me a virus. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.

I very cautiously upgraded to girlfriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system! Then I tried to run GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature that I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any other version of girlfriend and communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions! The version I have right now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of girlfriend, it is written in some obscure language that I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly, I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how GirlFriend is totally "object-oriented". A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did. But soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a "huge resource hog". It has taken up all of his space, so he can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons that he upgraded to Wife 1.0 is that it came bundled with FreeSexPlus 1.0. Well, it turns out that the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreesexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. Although -he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw 1.0 which has an automatic pop-up feature that he can't turn off. I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said that he heard if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself, Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway due to insufficient resources. Can you help??

 

[j.select]

This is an old but good joke .... I read a few other threads and added some more ....

Try Hooker-Version 2.0
This version is for people with old or problem machines and people who know nothing at all about Girlfriend or simply find Wife 1.0 too boring.
Price varies depending on the features wanted and you pay a "per use" fee by dialing a number, entering an access code before each session. It will generally run on anything out there.

On the plus side, it comes with hard-to-find modules PerlNecklace.com, CIM.exe, FacialXtreme 2.0, BackDoorXtra 3.4, YellowShowers 4.0. It might be noted that some of these plug-ins are highly marked up in price by some shady dealers.

On the down side, it could invoke BaitAndSwitch 4.0 that will put the machine into limp-home-mode. However, a free version of Right-Hand 1.0 is thrown in to handle these cases.

For some of these packages, the performance is so degraded through the overuse of the back-door trojan PimpHandStrong5.1. Apparently, only street versions are having this problem occur and the only solution is to run LE.exe in the background until Pimp_Daddy.dat is quarantined. Other street versions such as Hooker_Tranny 1.1 have caused the user to install the plug-in into the wrong area, resulting in extreme cases of shock. In some cases, male-to-male pin connectors had the metal worn right down due to the heat after hours of forced use.

Some users who run the program repeatedly eventually run out of cache. In these cases, if the Wife 1.0 is still installed and in listen mode, then virus WifeFindsOut 4.0 is initiated. As a last resort install divorce v4.9 and although it was an expensive program (you'll be making payments to the creator alimony.com for the next 18 years) it will remove all conflicts in the Wife 1.0 program.

Other times you will pay for this hack only to find that it disappears almost as soon as you start the program leaving your business unfinished. It takes prompt action to catch it before it is completely deleted. If that happens you cannot call for help because you had an illegal copy and could be prosecuted. Viruses run rampant in this version and cases have been reported where the entire system was shutdown by the HIV.exe.

Some tech support centres recommend that the BareBackFS.exe that comes as standard equipment on most versions be removed immediately. Failing to do so could invoke the StMikesHospital. V1.1 and Hearst_Mobile.bat command files to execute with dire results.

TECHNICAL NOTES:
- The Russian versions are in fact trial shareware versions of Hooker 1.0. If the processes are married, they will execute divorce.exe and halfurstuff.exe after a background application called citizenship.dll is completed. The asian equivalent korean.loveslave.OS doesn't seem to speak the same coding, but at least sex.exe and cleanit.com are all running smoothly
- Swallows.java could invoke the EmptyPromises error. There is no none way to correct this error. Well there is one but its a highly volatile debug program called EarlyLaunch. Running EarlyLaunch with Swallows may result in PimpHandStrong5.1. running so be careful when you run it. A good way to prevent the .exe from activating is by doing the GetHer@*%#Faced command.

WARNING!! 1) If the program is running alongside Super5_motel.bat, then the Trojan LE.exe will be started in the background and will impede all processes. On some occasions, the users have been booted right off the system, locked up, with all program files being placed into the recycle bin. In one case, a user was actually pepper-sprayed by an unknown peripheral placed maliciously inside the software package.
2) Hooker-Version 2.0 is prone to some nasty viruses, in particular the SeededWomb.NoTrojan is the big one. Just make sure you keep a Firewall such as LatexHelmet running at all times and you should be fine The only true way to avoid any type of XXX.notrojan issues is to use backdoorsex.exe at all times. While running BDS.exe you can even turn off firewall LatexHelmet now and again for preformance increases.

USER FEEDBACK:
I installed Hooker-Version 1.0 back in 2006. Then in 2009, I decided to upgrade directly to wife 1.0, big mistake! I should have ran TakenFriendsAdvice.bat first to check for compatibility issues. Little did I realize how bugged Hooker 1.0 was and I should have upgraded a couple times before I installed wife1.0.
At first sechz1.0.exe ran two to three times a day, and the program cleanAndSweep.exe ran on a regular basis along with the program cook2.0.exe. Wife 1.0 did not work well with WoW.ftw, but performance was acceptable. All that was really needed was for me to run flowers1.0.exe and apologize.bat as part of my weekly maintenance cycle.
Then the system started to become corrupt, and I started having to manually run the cleanAndSweep.exe and there were other glitches. Wife1.0 then had an unintended action occur. It installed fascinationWithBestFriendsRoommate.exe. No matter what I tried, this program could not be uninstalled, it was more like a worm. Then the system ran divorce.ftw and wife1.0 completely uninstalled its self from my system. Luckily, it did not run alimony.bat and it left all of my files intact.
I have yet to install Hooker 2.0 in fear of complications with WoW.ftw. Currently running solitaire2.0.exe, which leaves all my resources open for any app that I wish to run.

Better yet, try Right-Hand 1.0 -
I suggest you uninstall all Girlfriend and Wife software and install this app. It's stand-alone, so you won't have to worry about compatibility or install configurations. It requires very little system resources, and it won't interfere with any of your other applications. It's fast and convenient and uncomplicated, and it can be run any time you need it without preloading Foreplay x.x. Also, you can discard the SetMood= line in your config file (a time-consuming and finicky process at the best of times). In fact, if you need to, you can configure it as a TSR, so that it's available at a (key)stroke even while running other applications (just make sure you minimize the other apps first). I guarantee that Right-Hand 1.0 will solve all your FreeSexPlus problems and leave you with a clean system to boot!!!

 

[Aardvark154]

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.

The same applies to Wife 1.0. The other problem is that Husband 1.0 does not apparently always install properly on the other computer on the network even after trained technicians come and attempt to correct the network problems. This regrettably can cause a complete network and system failure, necessitating formatting and reinstallation of the operating system resulting in the loss of both Wife 1.0 and Husband 1.0.

Girlfriend 1.0 generaly has difficulties in installing properly for sometime thereafter.

 

[hairyfucker]

I just use Ubuntu. I see it kinda as commune 2.x.

 

[alexmst]

Lol!

 

[Jade4u]

BoyFriend V 5.0:
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs, such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Desperate


Dear Desperate:

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command : C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program. DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.

These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3. Also, running Nagging 5.3 too often can sometimes cause Husband 1.0 to secretly install Mistress 1.0, which would then require you to run Private Investigator 7.5 utility and possibly even Attorney 9.0, which could lead to a system wide failure and the need to reboot Husband 1.0!



--Tech Support
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